Sometime after Shane is on the Centaurs, JJ drops by to hang out with Shane and of course Ilya is there.
Ilya: So I hear you tried to get Shane to cheat on me with a personal trainer with his dad's name.
JJ: dude I did not know you were together and also he was so fucking stressed out! I figured getting laid would help!
Ilya: Oh it does 😉
Shane: Kill me now
JJ: but now I've got all these single gay dudes in my phone and I've hooked some of them up with each other but I was vetting them for a really specific guy, you know?
Ilya: And now all your hard work is wasted, very sad. Not everyone can be amazing gay hockey matchmaker like me.
JJ: ...you don't happen to know any anxious glasses-wearing second overall draft picks in need of a man, do you?
Ilya, queer hockey radar zooming in on Luca: show me your menu of gay men
this is the absolute funniest way possible for those two to become friends. headcanon fucking accepted, except instead of a conspiracy theory cork board, I’m imagining them coming up with a kind of March madness-style chart for potential matches. Harris ends up getting in on it too because this seems like the kind of chaos he’d also thrive on.
meanwhile, Shane is just in the corner watching the three-headed matchmaking monster he has accidentally released into the gay athlete community, like What Have I Done???, while Luca and Troy just shake their heads at him.
I could totally see this as how JJ and Ilya finally bond! And yes, of course Harris would also be channeling the spirit of Dolly Levi. The professional matchmaker from the musical “Hello Dolly.”
The three of them would have so much fun together!
