happy pride

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@dancinbookworm
happy pride
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again
just so yall know
art block is your brain telling you to do studies.
draw a still life. practice some poses. sketch some naked people. do a color study. try out a different technique on a basic shape.
art block doesnt stop you from drawing, it stops you from making your drawings look the way you want them to. and thats because you need to push your skills to the next level so you can preform at that standard
think of it as level grinding for your next work.
As a scientific illustrator- this is 100% true and going to review your basics will fix it every goddamn time. Not only does it keep your skills sharp, when you’re not emotionally invested in the final product of a piece, you relax and your brain makes more/better art juice for you. So, when you get back to that big/important piece? You’ll know what to do and how to do it.
Nothing in nature blooms all year round. Rest, and take care of yourself.
thinking hudson williams is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles golden skin pretty hair and big brown bottom eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think shane hollander is hot? fucking shane hollander? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god he’s tall should we tell everyone he’s tall and he's kind to people and his eyes twinkle wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SHANE HOLLANDER is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. “hear me out” and it’s a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed
(insp)
HEATED RIVALRY 1.05 | 1.06
heated rivalry this ... heated rivalry that ... DO NOT FORGET WHERE WE CAME FROM, DO NOT FORGET THE ANCIENT TEXTS
No but their whole time at the cottage is basically them to just playing one big game of chicken about who’s going to say I love you first. Like Ilya goes to the cottage KNOWING he loves Shane, and knowing that Shane wouldn’t have invited him if he didn’t at least feel something back. And Shane knows he feels strongly for Ilya, is fairly certain Ilya reciprocates those feelings because otherwise he wouldn’t have accepted his invitation. Shane says let’s be honest about how we really feel :)))) and Ilya is like ok I’ll try :)))) They sleep in the same bed and wake up together, something that six months ago even the prospect of caused the crash out of all crash outs. And then they start upping their game. “I like you” and “I like you too” becomes a practice run, and when Ilya says “I hate you” and Shane GRINS as he says, knowingly, “no you don’t”…. It’s like they’re slowly working their way up to being able to say it, whilst simultaneously trying to bait the other into saying it first. They know they feel, they have a pretty good idea how the other feels, it’s just been said out loud yet. And only being at the cottage together allowed them that space to be able to finally say it.
Hockey players are famously superstitious, Shane and Ilya know this. So, this really should not come a surprise:
When they're about to leave the locker room for warm ups, Bood steps into the door with his arm stretched out.
"Woah, woah, woah, where do you two think you're going?"
They share a confused look.
"Uh, to warm up?" Shane asks. Bood instantly starts to shake his head as Troy joins him at the door.
"We need a kiss."
Shane leans back a little in disgust surprise, beside him Ilya lifts his eyebrows in disbelief.
"What, both of you?" with a chuckle, to which Shane adds "From whom?" before stepping closer to Ilya. Who was famous for goal celebration kisses to sweaty cheeks of his teammates but that was pretty much all Shane was okay sharing.
"Ew, no, no, no." Troy waves them off and Bood shakes his head laughing.
"Each other. Last time you did before warm ups and we won 6 to 2 against the Admirals."
And, oh. Because. Shane isn't against PDA now that they're both out when they are around their team after games or out for dinner with someone or walking Anya around their neighboor hood hand in hand.
But. He had a pretty clear rule that practices, games and everything at the rink was off limits. That was work. That was different.
The first few away games he didn't even want to sit beside Ilya on the bus or plane. Let alone be couple-y around the others. He told Ilya he did not want even the slightest chance of someone feeling uncomfortable because of him. Them.
Last week had been different, though. Ilya had been feeling down for a little while. Not much, not bad. Just- off. And when they were putting on their skates for warm ups he had cracked a stupid joke. And Shane had looked over and something in his chest had loosened because- there was that mischievous sparkle in his husbands eyes again. Leaning over and kissing Ilya hadn't really been a concious choice. It hadn't been anything wild either. A closed mouthed, lingering press of their lips.
A steady few seconds to convey 'Hey, I missed you.'
Ilya had smiled fondly at him after.
Apparently Bood or Troy or someone saw this. And when they won, they came to the logical conclusion that that was because of their pre warm up kiss.
Now Ilya rolls his eyes because- as dumb as it is, in hockey world this makes stupid sense. But Shane won't like it. So, he has to find a way to- suddenly there are two hands cupping his face before he is being dragged to meet Shane's lips for a quick, smacking kiss.
"Let's fucking kill these guys out there." Is all Shane says after, bonking his helmet with Barrett and Bood before vanishing through the door.
Ilya stares after him, stunned and slack jawed.
A new tradition is born.
15 HR fic recs
Leave a divot for your eye by @passageofspring | 5.9K | Ilya Rozanov regularly gets called out on fighting his husband’s battles. He thinks people should be glad it’s him they’re facing.| I am very much against the extreme woobiefication fandom inflicts on Shane very frequently. This fic is the perfect antidote for that. Shane gets into a fight. And I agree with Ilya, its HOTTT.
Apogee by @opal-apparition | 50K | Shane Hollander is the youngest Commander in ISS history; straight-backed, closeted, and so tightly on his own leash that seven months in orbit with Ilya Rozanov have not produced a single crack in his composure.Ilya Rozanov is the Russian cosmonaut who should have had his job, won’t stop bouncing a tennis ball off the walls, and is still looking for a fissure. Thankfully, a solar storm finds it for him.| I don't think anyone needs me to rec this, because it's OpalApparition, one of the BNF writers in this fandom for a frigging reason. And the reason is that they're an amazing writer. I'm a completionist, though, I have to rec all the fics I truly like, so I can't leave one out just because everyone is bound to have read it already...I'm normally not one for AUs where neither Ilya nor Shane is a hockey player, but I'd trust OpalApparition to take me to hell and back. And this story is fantastic.
I'll be Jane | 7.1K | After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.| This is hilarious and in character.
A Well-Organized Life by @409-conflict 11.8K | Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane. No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that. When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?| I normally don't rec WIPs, I'm making an exception for this because I was familiar with the author from The Pitt fandom, they are extremely talented, and I love their characterisation of Ilya especially here, it's so full of details, and his voice is perfect. I think this fic needs way more kudos and comments than it currently has. Go forth and make the author feel the love!
Influential by @409-conflict | 6.1K| The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men.He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.| Yuna becomes Ilya's manager is probably one of the subsets of the 'The Hollanders adopt Ilya' fan favourites that I enjoy the most. I like Yuna's competence being unleashed on poor unsuspecting Ilya, when it's obvious he needs to be taken care of from a business point of view too. Well, this goes at it from the completely opposite persepective: it's Ilya (pre-Cottage) who tries to convince Yuna to become his manager. Hilarious. And in character! 409_conflict really has one of the best Ilya voices out there.
A Neighborhood of Voluntary Spies by @gorgeousundertow| 6.8K | So fuck yes Hayden was a little jealous, shit, he was only human. But he was secure in his position as Shane’s best friend. Rozanov was a shiny fellow hockey god, but he was also an Olympic-caliber asshole, and Shane had spent his entire adult life hating him. He’d get bored of talking about how much he hated Reebok soon enough, and he’d make his way to his usual seat by Hayden’s side and he’d treat himself to one of his vegan cookies, and everything would be as it should be. Hayden leaned back in his seat, stretched his legs into the aisle, and waited. Or: Hayden Pike is slow on the uptake| This is the sequel to Half Agony, Half Hope, an excellent Jane-Austen-Persuasion-inspired AU in which Ilya is traded to Boston, which I'd recced ages ago. I think it can be enjoyed just knowing this simple fact. It's another take on Hayden grappling with Shane's sexuality and the Rozanov of it all and it is so much fun. I love external POVs on our guys, and I like clueless-but-loyal Hayden a lot.
the art of long-term cohabitation | 5.5K | “Sometimes, I wish he was a worse person,” Ilya admits one night, while he and Yuna are doing the dishes. Shane and Ilya had come over for chicken parmesan, and it had been a lovely dinner, right up until David, clearing the plates, mentioned that he had met a guy at the store the other day who was a big fan of Shane’s, had a kid who idolized him. David asked if Shane could sign a piece of merchandise for him, maybe record a video. Shane said yes, because he had a rule, about doing things for child fans. Now, Shane was off shooting a video while Ilya did the dishes, and Ilya already knew the way it would require Shane to drag his public face up from the depths of his stomach, the work it would take him to shed it afterwards, the way it would taint this evening.| The summary doesn't really do justice to what I feel is the strength of this piece: it delves into the negative side of being in a committed relationship, the fighting, the difficulty in adjusting to being with another person who is, fundamentally, very different from you, and also how clinical depression might factor in from both sides. I'm making it sound boring and/or sad, when it's not. It's just so real and thought-provoking. And it has great characterisation. This anonymous author has such an excellent grasp on how Shane and Ilya work.
let's make a deal | 7.1K | Shane wants to talk about Ilya's move to Ottawa. Ilya doesn't want to talk much at all.| Shane wants to discuss the practical details of Ilya's move to Ottawa, Ilya doesn't want to, so he tries to distract him with sex. Fantastic character voices and also very hot.
MINE MINE MINE | 3.6K | “So,” Yuna says, as she polishes off her third glass of cabernet. “When are you boys going to get started on kids?” Shane chokes on his tiramisu. Or: Maybe Shane doesn’t want kids.| Fandom consensus seems to be that Ilya and Shane are just waiting for retirement before starting their family and quite often they get handed a baby even before that (Ilya has a one-night-stand that results in an accidental baby he somehow gets saddled with and/or decide to raise on his own; or even more often, he ends up having to raise his niece). And it's fine if people are into that! One of my all-time favourite fic of any fandom is a baby!fic in Generation Kill where a former marine and an active-duty marine still manage to decide to co-parent an accidental baby...I just can't see Shane wanting kids. Also, the beauty of queer romance is seeing a relationship free from heteronormative societal expectations (says the straight woman who is a mother of two, lol), so I want any parenting choice to be, well, a conscious choice...And if our guys decide to go for kids, I'd like the messy side and difficulties not to be handwaved with a fantastic live-in nanny (which they'd have, fo course, they're multi-millionaires). Anyway, this is sadly the only example of fic I could find where they decide against kids. And it's so well-written and in character. If you guys know of any more, please let me know!
Deep Misunderstanding | 9K | Hayden has always been the guy Shane joked with, the guy he trusted to feed him without mocking him, the guy he roomed with on the road, and Shane is the only man who has ever seen Hayden cry, and Hayden loves Shane. He fucking loves him. They are like brothers, and they have been for almost ten fucking years. He’s always been Shane’s guy, Shane’s best friend. Except all along, maybe that wasn’t true. Ilya Rozanov, apparently, had been the guy. Before Hayden had ever met Shane, Ilya Rozanov had been there. And Hayden had never even noticed. Shane is all over every inch of Hayden’s life. Hayden thought that was reciprocal.| Again, I don't think I need to rec this to anyone, because it's some1_around, but I just love Hayden angst! And this so good.
licked by fire | 5.1K | “You know, there are a lot of kids that look up to you—“It’s the refrain of Shane’s life. Everything circles back to this: a lot of kids looking up to you. That’s why you need to spend your summers doing ad campaigns. That’s why you need to let a social media manager handle your every interaction online. That’s why we need to sit here after family dinner with flash cards rehearsing the different ways you’ll answer reporters’ questions after you face Boston next week, and, oh, when we’re done, let’s do some French vocabulary flashcards, too, because it’s important to the Francophone fans that you’re thinking about them. There are lots of Asian Francophones in Quebec, Shane. Almost 13% of primary schoolers are of Asian descent, compared to less than 4% of hockey players. Isn’t that pathetic? As if Shane doesn’t know that it’s pathetic. As if Shane doesn’t know what he fought through to get here. Abruptly, Shane is furious.| Look, another one for my not!woobiefied Shane folder! And what a cracking one. It's probably me projecting onto Shane, but i find his anger issues in this one are so relatable and plausible and well-handled.
Alligator Bites Never Heal by @flawlessassholes| 72K | Remember when Sidney Crosby caught a puck with his jaw? That doesn't happen to Shane. That happens to Ilya.| One of my fave AUs is finally complete! Definitely on a par with 'Concussion Protocol'. Superb! I'm sure you all know it already, judging from the number of hits, kudos and bookmarks.
Toe Drag | 5.4K | Shane and Ilya take advantage of the cottage's private rink. Or: Ilya's always wanted control over his life. It feels like he's getting it for the first time thanks to Shane.| This is your regular dose of McShrug's steamy stuff. Hot damn.
Ticket Stubs and Your Diaries by @lavenderprose| 2.5K | A moment in time at the end of an era. Ilya helps Shane pack up the Montreal apartment.| Great vignette, totally feels like canon and excellent Shane characterisation.
It Takes a Village | 13.4K | An exploration of the first few months of Ilya and Shane’s “official” relationship, featuring Shane’s extremely supportive parents who do not do anything by half measures. Starts in September 2017.| More for my 'Ilya is adopted by the Hollanders' collection. What is notable about this one, other than the excellent characterisation for all, is that it has my fave kind of Yuna-momagers-Ilya trope.
I am a fan of the dynamic where there's no leak and Shane moves to the Cens of his own accord and then Shane and Ilya never come out exactly but they just live openly and all these dumbass hockey players are just like
"Oh yeah they're just like that. They live together and room together and vacation together and get mad if they're separated on the bench. And they kiss in the locker room sometimes but it's you know. They're joking around. Good guys. Gay? Well---no I don't think so. I mean that's weird. Roz is a pussy hound. I mean I've never seen him with a woman but you know he is. Anyway Hollander had that whole thing with Rose Landry and he still talks about her, I think he's still hung up on her. Poor guy. I did walk in on Hollander sleeping on Roz's lap the other day but they were just getting in sync for power play you know? You reporters always want to make everything gay it's so weird. What do you mean 'why do they kiss so much' they're the top goal scoring duo in the league"
Shane: I was the one to make the first move
Ilya: that's not true! I did! In the shower!
Shane: I introduced myself to you at world juniors!
Ilya: that wasn't a move! That was normal introduction!
Shane: Ilya, baby, when have you ever known me to initiate a social interaction with a stranger?
Ilya: . . . Holy shit
insp.
"not so gay you can't fuck rose landry" is such a funny line Ilya baby they dated for 45 minutes and Shane immediately came crawling back to you, came out as gay, and told you he has feelings for you. being too gay to fuck rose landry is quite literally the reason he realised/accepted he's in love with you and decided to lock that down
The Long Game, p. 336
Heated Rivalry (2025)
“Shane Hollander walks Ilya Rozanov like a dog” okay but we acknowledge that the dog in question is one of those border collies who basically walks themselves yes?
This man is sitting by the door, putting on his own collar, handing the leash to his husband, waiting to be told he is the Best Boy, etc.
Ilya slaviclly repressed Rozanov and Shane autistically repressed Hollander attempt at having a real conversation for 9 years