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Peter Solarz
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@danielx9
Well that was fun
So the family computer died on us. it had a good run, it lasted over a dozen years. But do you know what finally took it out? Not a virus, not a spilled drink, but a lightening bolt. I guess someone up there wanted us to get an upgrade. luckily the local computer guy was able to save the data. we all had various back ups to one extent or another, so it wouldn't have been a complete lose, but I'm glad we were able to save something.
[grabs your shoulders and shakes you] something being widely accepted fanon does not actually make it "basically canon" and it doesn't mean people who don't incorporate it into their fics or acknowledge it are doing something wrong
@blackkatmagic
i do think it’s interesting that in less than a decade after reviving both the jurassic park movies and star wars franchises, universal and disney, respectively, have fucked up what could have been never-ending theatrical cash cows to the point where the jurassic franchise is ending in critical disgrace and star wars has been relegated almost exclusively to disney’s streaming platform. how badly do you have to fumble bags that are mostly just “people and aliens in a far off galaxy and space” and “dinosaurs! what would happen if dinosaurs?” that the franchises became so devoid of any redeemable value that people are eh about seeing a cultural icon like darth vader wield his lightsaber or a website like rotten tomatoes, which grades on a heavy curve, especially for nostalgic projects, has your film at a 37% critical favorability and is being accused of making dinosaurs “uncool”. it’s fascinating. i hope the bubble bursts for marvel next.
they each had a goose that lays golden eggs and they butchered it to get the eggs out instead of feeding it and now they've got a dead goose, some tremendously shitty and underdeveloped eggs, and a lot of angry fans who were hoping for golden omelets and perhaps some golden goslings but are now covered in entrails and the little feathers that get everywhere, and are somewhat miffed about the whole situation
it is a beautiful day, and you are a dead golden goose
an undead golden goose of a fandom laying golden fanworks all over the place and honking before running off with the shattered remains of copyright law in its beak is a wonderful and amazing image, thank you so much for taking the post in this direction
3d printed Pikachu Tessellation
@pikachu-deluxe fuck it *tesselates you tessellates you te-*
WOAHG i'm being tessellated
Why was only one orange uughh
I’m guessing the orange one was the original? Maybe just ran out of the other filament but idk. It did make it a little weird but it was still super cool!!
the orange one is shiny smh
From your ask to DeusVerve about biodad Yag and Izuku with AFO quirk, there is "Are you my dad?" by treegirl5. Izuku has a limited version AFO by genetic combination of Stockpile and Attraction. Shenanigans ensue when AFO thinks Izuku is his kid. But also All Might gets bashed by the fic so it's a mixed bag.
All Might bashing is not generally my cup of tea, but thanks for the suggestion
How do you spell Cchannuukkahh?
The first night of Hanukkah is tonight. Or is it Chanukah? Xanike? Hanwcuh? Janice?
Well, being the very serious computer scientist I am, I realized that of course the only way to answer this question was to train a neural net. After all, now that we throw them at all sorts of problems that we really shouldn’t, let’s see if they can teach me the true meaning of Chanuqa.
There are 16 “not too weird” English spellings of this holiday, because you can sort of mix and match Ch vs. H at the start, number of n’s, number of k’s, and whether there’s an h at the end. But that’s simple enough that you’re not going to get anything interesting out of that. If you throw in Spanish spellings with a J at the start, French spellings that use ou for the second vowel, and a smattering of Yiddish transliterations like Khanike, you get a more interesting training set. But the magic really happens when you find shitposts. Because the truth is there’s nothing certain Jews like more than coming up with increasingly stupid spellings for the Festival of Lights. So Zhajnuquye? Ghanikehah? Xanixax? Hchkhkannuckwauaaha? All obviously in the training data.
I landed with a 51-word training set. This is generally too small for a neural net, but I discovered the online version of char-rnn (thanks, google), I lowered some (or, well, a lot) of parameters, and set it to train. It did spit back some of the training set or some combinations that led to actual weird but plausible spellings. But when I really cranked up the creativity parameter, there was some holiday magic.
So, without further ado, a neural net’s spellings for tonight’s holiday: annukah Januqua Gannuko channuuckka Hokaniqxe Ghhajnuoka Khaghajnike Zhajnuquqxcahhah Janiqqxchkhkhhahkkannuquke Hoogh
Anyways, chag sameach! Happy Hoogh!
חג חנוכה שמח
a freilichen chanukah
hanukka alegre
هانوكا سعيد
حَنوکا مبارک
frohes chanukka
joyeux hanouka
buon chanukkà
bon hanukkà
feliz janucá
vrolijk chanoeka
mutlu hanuka
с счастливой Хануки
срећна Ханука
Χαρούμενο Χανουκά
修殿節 快樂
हनुका मुबारक हो
happy hanukkah
however you say or spell it, tumblr, may yours be filled with joy and light
Here it is in ASL aswell!
Untitled Gelt Game
It’s a beautiful day in Jerusalem and you are leading the Maccabean revolt
compilation
Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish human friends and Happy Hannukkat to their cats!
Almost running late, but Happy Hanukkah 2022!
Wow, thank you JewWhoHasItAll for posting this helpful guide! Now I can support my Christian students much better :)
Facebook post
Twitter thread
This is both hysterically funny and the best demonstration of why this time of year is tough on us and our kids that I’ve ever seen.
always blows my mind as a european when people talk about states like “yeah theres nothing in ohio/montana/wyoming/etc” because i look at a map like but. but theyre so big. every state could qualify as its own country what do you mean theres nothing there. and then i ask people from those states and theyre like “yeah theres nothing here” what do you mean theres nothing there!!!
What’s in the steppes of Russia, or the northern forests of Scandinavia? What’s in the Sahara desert?
id like us to sit here and identify some key differences between the sahara desert and ohio for a moment
as a former Ohio resident I think that the key difference is that the sahara probably has more jobs unrelated to meth
untapped meth market in the depths of the sahara desert
Please tell the hannukah story with details and swears, here, so I can retell it to my goyim friends, with details and swears
CRACKS KNUCKLES. STRETCHES ARMS. OKAY SO LIKE.
so like it’s something something bce and israel/judea/whatever you wanna call it has been INVADED BY THE GREEKS. specifically, invaded by a bro named antiochus, pronounced aunt-eye-oh-kiss, who is a dick.
thing about hanukkah is that, like, there’s the Historical Story, which is important and worthy of study and shit, and then there’s the Hanukkah Story, which is more fun
so in Historical Story the invasion by the greeks was pretty slow and there was a lot of hellenization of jewish culture and blah blah blah
in Hanukkah Story the greeks SMASHED IN WITH A BUNCH OF SWORDS and were like FUCK YOUR TEMPLE. FUCK YOUR GOD. FUCK YOUR PASSOVER, AND ALSO, FUCK YOU. and they DESTROYED THE TEMPLE and let, like, pigs go running around in it? which, if you know literally anything about judaism: pigs in the temple. they set pigs on the fucking holy fucking temple.
ANyway, then a greek general was like “yo, okay, i am threatening you all with Death unless you sacrifice to zeus.” and everyone was very Stoic and Rebellious until one bro was like FINE!! I WILL SACRIFICE TO ZEUS, GIMME THE STATUE OF ZEUS, IMMA KILL AN ANIMAL AND GO YAY ZEUS. i’m not sure if this also happened in the temple, but i like to think of it happening in the temple, because sacrifices to an idol??? in the holy fucking temple???? and he is almost about to kill the animal WHEN
WHAM, here comes mattathias (a.k.a. matisyahu, a.k.a. no, not the rapper) and CUTS OFF THE BRO’S HEAD.
then he yells ANYONE WHO WANTS TO FIGHT BACK COME TO THE HILLS!!!! and FLEES to the hills along with his sons. their family name is MACCABEE and so they are known as the MACCABEES, which means THE SLEDGEHAMMERS, because this story was apparently NOT METAL ENOUGH ALREADY.
meanwhile the occupation continues. there is a chick named HANNAH, who i have loved for one thousand years because i can either identify with her or hannah-samuel’s-mother, who is boring.
hannah has SEVEN SONS, which is MORE THAN I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE. the greeks capture them all and go “EAT PORK. EAT IT. EAT IT.” hannah and her seven sons are like no!! wtf calm the fuck down with your pork
so the greeks, who have literally no chill, go “okay, we’re gonna torture son #1 until he eats pork.” which they do - except the son does not eat the pork?? and eventually he just like DIES and the greeks are like, WHAT THE FUCK, okay, TIME TO TRY THIS AGAIN.
so they try it with son #2 and it is EQUALLY INEFFECTIVE. NO PORK, NO EATING. the greeks are BEWILDERED, they go on to torture and kill sons #3 THROUGH #7. LITERALLY ALL OF THEM. NONE OF THEM EAT PORK.
the greeks are like “HANNAH. HANNAH. YOU HAVE JUST WATCHED ALL YOUR GODDAMN CHILDREN DIE. EAT THE DAMN BACON.”
but hannah is the most rad of all the jews. she goes “i will not eat your fucking pig because you KILL PEOPLE ABOUT IT. god DAMN calm the fuck down and LET US BE JEWISH LITERALLY WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE.”
the greeks have an elephant!! the greeks have A HUGE ARMY!! the greeks have a Whole Fucking Empire! the jews have, like, matisyahu and his five kids. (one of them is judah maccabee, who i like to think of as Very Hot.)
and we win.
[intermission: NO-OT BY MI-IGHT AND NO-O-OT BY POWER (TAKE A SHOWER!!!) BUT BY SPIIIIRIT ALONE (RUACH) SHALL WE ALL LIVE IN PEEEEAAAAAAAAAACE.]
so we kick! the greeks! out! of israel/judea/palestine/whatever! and we’re like FUCK YES WE’RE GONNA KICK THE PIGS OUT OF THE TEMPLE WE’RE GONNA CLEAN THE TEMPLE WE’RE GONNA MAKE THE TEMPLE NICE AS SHIT
okay. quick note on the law, for gentiles: one of the most important things about synagogues is that you always gotta have a light in it. it represents god, and it can’t ever, ever go out. it can be electric or fire or anything, but it cannot go out.
so the jews get into the temple and the light is fire, obviously, because electricity has not been invented yet, and the light is almost out.
Oh Shit, say the jews.
there’s oil to keep the light burning. there’s enough oil to keep the light burning for one day. the nearest supply of oil is eight days away, round-trip.
Oh Shit. say the jews.
i mean. what are you gonna do. they send off a guy on a horse to go for the oil. they light up the remaining oil. they scrub the temple floors, and kick the pigs out, and sit, and recover, and wait for the fire to go out.
the fire doesn’t go out.
for one day, it lasts. then for another. for eight fucking days the oil burns, and the horseman returns with the new supply, and the fire is still burning in the temple. the fire never goes out in the temple. we survive the entire invasion and the fire never goes out once.
most jewish stories are stories about survival. this one’s about a little more than that. because we could have assimilated; we could have hellenized. we could have worshiped their gods and eaten pork, and we would have lived.
but we didn’t. we took the worst risk, and we won. and the fire didn’t go out.
The next person who tries to correct me when I say “Happy Holidays” is going to be told Happy Hanukkah instead. Very tired of hearing, “No, it’s MERRY CHRISTMAS.” I’m pretty sure Judaism was around a lot longer than your Buckstar’s boycotting butt, Karen.
My boss once shared a great story about that. This happened when he was in a layover in North Carolina back when the “War on Christmas” bullshit was first becoming prominent. He had gone to get a pack of cigarettes, and after he paid for it:
“Merry Christmas.” “Happy holidays.” “No. I said Merry Christmas.” “Do you know what Hanukkah is about?” “No, what?” “Some people tried to make us worship their ways, so we rose up and killed them. Happy Hanukkah.”