don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.
Yeah
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@danuep
don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.
Yeah
If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.
Can someone translate this?
Don’t try to guilt people by saying “I’m sorry I fucking suck.” “I’m sorry I’m just the worst and I should die” Because thats not an apology, thats trying to guilt the other person into dropping the subject.
Yup. That’s called Weaponized Remorse. Basically, you’re avoiding accountability by blowing up a big Feelings Bomb at the person you hurt and going “let’s not focus on what I did or what I should do to make amends, let’s focus on how awful I feel about it all, and how you should make me feel better.”
It’s really easy to accidentally learn to apologize like this, especially when you have mental health issues that mean you genuinely feel that way about yourself. You aren’t a bad person if this has become a habit, but you can help other people AND yourself by apologizing differently!
Try to focus on your actions rather than your traits:
E.g. “I’m sorry I keep ghosting you, I’m shit at friendships” –> “I’m sorry I keep ghosting you, I’m really struggling to keep up with my friends right now”
Then, if you can, turn the conversation back to the other person - you’re apologising because their feelings matter to you, so show that.
E.g. “I don’t mean to - our friendship means a lit to me, and I know it must make it seem like I don’t care.”
This gives the other person an opportunity to express their own experience so you can talk it over more if they want to, without skipping ahead to reassuring you that the relationship isn’t broken.
If you read the descriptions above and started feeling guilty, it’s fixable! And if you want, you can even apply your new apology skills to apologising for an old apology style
This is something abusers can instill in their victims, also. Sometimes an abuser wont let up until they know you feel awful, shitty, stupid, worthless. and it becomes a habit to tell someone “im sorry im such a fucking loser i dont deserve etc, etc” so they know that you have paid the emotional toll for what you said or did.
Here’s the kicker, though- normal people dont want you to beat yourself up like that when you apologize. I know it feels like the line between “im sorry, I screwed up and I feel terrible about how I hurt you” and “i’m such a worthless piece of shit, you dont deserve to be around me” seems nearly invisible, but if someone requires you to verbally self-flagellate in order for a fight to be over, you really need to step back and take a look at the relationship between you two.
what kinda job do u have
phone call
smile + nod
other (cool job)
other (evil and mysterious)
no job/bald/hark to the music
yeah, their/there/they’re and your/you’re are frustrating grammar mistakes, but how about this “could care less” epidemic
the worst part about ocd and ocd-like tendencies is that you think hyper-analyzing your thoughts and constantly psychoanalyzing yourself will fix you but that's actually part of the disorder. it's the disorder. disordering.
Heh… but surely, if i go one level deeper, and psychoanalyize how much im psychoanalyzing my previous thoughts, that will be the key…
TUMBLR IS SO BORING WITH ALL YOU NERDS AT DASHCON
♥
((you all better come back with some amazing tales))
#scrap of bloodstained paper you find in a dungeon #or clutched in a skeleton’s fist (via @beaft)
I love this picture so much! Post it whenever I come across it.
Inner Mongolian Child
The little girl’s name is Butedmaa and she was just 5 when this picture was taken in 2003 by Han Chengli.
(I used to have a printout of this at my desk at work because I just loved looking at it so much.)
you ask tigger what his gender is and he's like "i'm a tigger" and you're like "ok but what are your pronouns" and he's like "t/i/double-guh/er"
you ask pooh what his gender is and he's like "i am a bear of very little brain <3"
you ask piglet what his gender is and he has a panic attack
you ask eeyore what his gender is and he's like "guess they forgot to give me one :("
you ask rabbit and he's like "we need to Prepare for Winter"
you ask kanga and she has like a full discussion with you on gender norms and the gender binary that leaves with you feeling strangely fulfilled. you ask roo and he's like "lumpy what is that" and lumpy's like "idk" and then they go stare at the clouds
dont ask owl
idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr
you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category
I mean it's shiny, and skinny and white, you should try brutalism...
Now Boston City Hall, that is a hot building
declaring brutalism as fuckable on tumblr? how original
It's not about originality, it's about a love for the art form that is architecture and a desire to fuck Boston city hall
yeah we know you love brutalism (affectionate) but this post is about hear me outs and you wanting to make love to city hall doesn’t count in my book
ok so I’ve had some coffee and realised that there is probably a clash in perspective on brutalism here. outside of the us brutalism is highly respected, whereas in the us they probably don’t revere it as much because of the communism. so @queer-as-city-folk is probably like why would you think this is conventionally attractive? yeah people don’t hate that stuff here they love it
Yeah brutalism is incredibly unpopular in the US and thus, for me it is a hear me out
That building is an extremely valid hear-me-out imo. I walked past it once in 2019 and still think about it sometimes. I didn’t know what it was until now (I think I thought it was an FBI-building for some reason) but it exuded a very memorable aura.
@massachusetts-official
"ahh my three wishes turned back around on me because I wasn't specific enough" maybe you just approached it with an annoying attitude. you were trying to be all smart about it and your vibe was off. I got everything I wished for and I wished stupid, but the wishgranter was rocking with me and knew what I meant because my vibe was good and he liked my pure soul. did you offer it a drink? did you hang out at all? no? sounds like you've got only person to blame mate. my wishgranter has been sitting in the parlour doing trickshots with a bottle for a few hours and yours has been turning you into a hollowed out shadow of your former self because you had a reddit wish and a twitter mindset. my wishgranter's been drinking from the hose and telling me about how they don't let you do that anymore, and he seems elated.
Wizard disguised as a harmless beggar showing up at a castle and doing everything in their power to make themselves an obnoxious guest so that when the master of the house finally snaps they can declare them a poor host and put a curse on them, but nothing is working, and they're starting to wonder who's really fucking with whom.
Generations of magicans, gods and otherworldly beings trying the same thing (as well as the conventions of courtly love) have created a strong selection pressure for nobility with a humiliation kink.
Fairies do that "show up as a beggar" stuff all the time, the nobles are used to it.
Should've shown up disguised as a walrus to throw them off their game.
also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.
riding the trolley out of omelas because i'm a little too shaken to walk rn and i just heard this weird thump from the tracks. probably nothing
#they arrested the trolley driver and the guy in charge of track switching #and i hear they're both being offered some kind of plea deal if they agree to testify against the other person
awarding this the first good riff on this post award. thank you tumblr user anyagobsin. this is the first good riff anyone's had on this post.
when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”
when andrea gibson said “i suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.” & when ellen bass said “to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it”
when james baldwin said, “this is why one must say yes to life and embrace it wherever it is found-and it is found in terrible places; nevertheless, there it is;”
when Mary Oliver said “it is a serious thing / just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world”
That ee cummings line is for @netherworldpost
The rest are for us.
“If you want to be a grocer, or a general, or a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment. If you never know what you want to be… you will never become anything, and that is your reward.”
(attributed to) Oscar Wilde
[waving] Hi, hello, it's me, the old gen-x'er on your dash! How's it going kids? [bad, it's going bad, I know, sorry for asking]. Let me tell you a personal story of how I watched exactly this play out in my social circles.
Anecdotally, my fellow cohort of gen-x'ers were convinced this was going to be the solution, the ticket, the fucking way. Inevitably, all we had to do was outlive these old mayonnaise white devils, because that's where the racism was societally stored - like a big racism appendix that would get removed someday.
We thought we knew what was up because we were cool white kids who listened to Public Enemy. And because we thought we were largely inoculated against racism, it was just a long cool slide into the Clinton years and we'd be set.
So we didn't question shit like South Park. We didn't question shitheads like 'ironic' (at the time) racists like Weev in our IRC channel. We had zero fucking awareness of how racism shifted, because the only examples of racism we were ever taught either wore a white robe & burned crosses, or sig-heil'd and lived in misery. We shamefully thought racism = southern*, and since we were alt-goth kids living on the west coast, we were fucking sorted out and safe.
It wasn't on our radar. We weren't ready. We hadn't listened to anyone, because we thought we'd learned enough to not be a problem, and wasn't that enough?
We didn't clock or understand the way racist language shifted into a new economic handwringing. We fell into stupid rhetorical traps that snuck racism into concerns about unhoused people and substance abuse. We refused to recognize and realize our own inherent racist attitudes because of the sunk cost fallacy of wanting to believe we really didn't have to do anything other than be cool and wait it out.
I watched some people absolutely lose their shit when called out on this and flounce directly into the arms of right wing philosophy (always some variation on "left wing politics has gone too far!" when it's pointed out how they're upholding inequality with a cherished attitude or anecdote they've leaned on for years to prop up the mythology of their self-worth).
No one was ready to realize they weren't good just by being alternative. And some of them cracked apart.
Racism has a full time advertising budget ready to repackage and rebadge it minute to minute, and you always have to do the work. It never ever fucking stops. And making sure you're always doing the work has the very valuable side-benefit of keeping you in touch with yourself and what you're about.
You gotta do the work. It never stops.
*-this fucking haunts me so much.
oh, this gets a reblog
Do you like this song? #600
Yes I like it, I already know it
Yes I like it, first time listening
No I don't like it, I already know it
No I don't like it, first time listening
✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨
Please don't spoil, this is not a quiz. :)
Credits to @Hakusi_Katei from X/Twitter
i looked it up and apparently it is a product the designer has for sale but there was a first batch of 500 available in December that sold out and apparently another wave is coming this month
and apparently the designer is actually called Monoli as per this tweet:
@randomitemdrop
Item: Cube of Lower Resolution