I Don't Even Know What I'm Doing

25 y/o with no direction in life, woops Icon credit @Birdsons

[icedteadrinker]

Limmy deleted best tweet of all time I'm so mad

[theminiartblog]

Template by dame_boo

These familiar pokemon are not having it! Talk about H2No!

Mer!Wooloo-maid design also by dame_boo (insta), and Mer!Nincada design by beeohoney (discord)

[jabberwockypie]

Sometimes you hear about drama with people you don't know and your stance changes from "Well, it sounds like there were a lot of feelings going on, but hopefully the relevant parties can communicate about it and take responsibility for their behavior-" and you hear one additional thing that switches abruptly to "Oh, that person can just EAT MY ENTIRE ASS, fuck off".

[beaft]

platonic third base: when you get to know someone well enough that they start making mortifyingly specific observations about you

[beaft]

yesterday i was chilling with my friend and there was an ice cream van outside and every time the jingle played i'd look out the window and after the third time i did this my friend said, accurately, 'i think you want to get ice cream but you're scared of the ice cream man.' devastating

[hippieghost]

This is a tea checkpoint.

Is your tea getting cold?

Did you turn on your kettle and forget about it and now the water is cold again?

Is the tea bag still in?

Did you intend to start the tea making process and forget?

Congratulations! You remember now.

[cungadero]

tom animal crossing nook made you work for like 3 minutes and you spit on him like this god damn

[squngious]

he forces you into debt

[cungadero]

that you literally never ever have to pay off unless you want him to build you a bigger house you floppy shoes rainbow wig ringling brothers ass bitch

[schmuddel]

Defending Tom Nook’s debt-based economy is going too far

[cungadero]

you pay it off by selling him fucking bugs and rocks go make me a balloon animal bozo

[guru--guru]

#debt-based economy #bro have u like noticed thats literally the world we live in??#honestly i WISH i had a tom nook in my life are you kidding me????#no rush to make payments just pay when you can if you intend on getting an upgrade#no INTEREST i CANNOT emphasize that enough #great reliable quality of work#always polite when speaking to me???#probably genuinely concerned with my well being????#and yall are disrespecting him like this!? #i think the fuck NOT

[duwang-but-in-new-england]

The best possible landlord is still a landlord, and stands at the top of a steep incline

[witch-apologist]

He gives you a house for free that you never have to pay back for. He’s not a fucking landlord he’s a real estate agent you dimwitted radioactive mushroom. You’re never gonna get “evicted” you have complete sovereignty over your land, can place anything and everything you can fit in the space, put up whatever decorations paint jobs and wallpapers you want. The only downside is if you want to make a large purchase from HIS STORE you gotta pay off the last large purchase (you can still buy mailboxes and fences and nice cobblestone paths)His entire backstory is that he got his heart broken by capitalism and decided to move to a small town and give people affordable housing and affordable upgrades to said housing.

And the house? The money you don’t even have to pay unless you want HIM to expand your house for you?

18,400 bells

For reference a single apple sells for 100 bells

Which means you pay for a house (really you are paying for the upgrade) for the same price as 15 dozen apples.

You are literally buying a house for the same price as 15. Dozen. Apples

Let’s put that in perspective to say. America. A honeycrisp apple at Kroger costs 1.70 each on average meaning a dozen costs around 20 dollars. Meaning the price of a house in Tom Nooks store (that once again you never even have to pay back) is equivalent to a whopping 306 dollars.

That’s it. To pay off a house and let you get renovations you have to pay less than a single months rent at any apartment.

Go throw a pie in someone’s face since you want to be a clown.

[switchnx]

That last line goes so hard.

I immediately had to go put it in Objection Maker.

[critterbitter]

Congratulations! Your Tynamo evolved into an Eelektrik!

(Bonus below!)

(The eel dog quadrupled in weight)

Link to submas masterpost!

[birdandmoon]

Birders: do you ever wonder if this happens?

Original on my site | Patreon

[5nakeb4it]

THEY DO!!! I’VE SEEN IT!!! Those motherfuckers run across those trees head down with no spacial awareness and get so startled and bewildered when they bump into eachother. It’s hilarious

[slothful-rabbit]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[paint-lady]

[prismatic-bell]

@paint-lady is it okay to actually get this printed for my car?

[fromchaostocosmos]

I feel like this is the sibling to “their lesbians, Harold”

[moonmoonthecrabking]

"use chatgpt" that's the devil talking. buy four caffeinated drinks and pull an all nighter. this is the way.

[moonmoonthecrabking]

i may lose 5% for a late submission, but at least no one can deny that i wrote it with my own tits i mean brain

[nat-the-octo]

Toby Fox just put this in his bluesky and I think it’s very important and everyone needs to see it

[hamletthedane]

I just found the earliest email I ever sent from my email address, and it’s the funniest goddamn thing I can possibly imagine a fourth grader sending her teacher:

(Context - my fourth grade teacher was on maternity leave, and the state of the classroom fish tank was dire under the substitute teacher’s tyrannical rule. The class convened at recess, and decided to inform our (24yo, new mother) former teacher of the situation. I was selected as the duly appointed representative for this solemn communication.)

[hamletthedane]

Further context: I am now a practicing attorney.

[everydaylouie]

the far side (in 3D)

[everydaylouie]

i'm sorry but i can't let this allegation stand. i composed this scene and made this lumpy man with my own two hands...and many cubes...

[rigberts]

I love the second panel, mithrun's past self looking at him like "this bitch..." is so incredible ryoko kui it's a shame you'll be known for writing one of the most rich and detailed fantasy settings in all of manga bc you're so good at writing visual gags

[anonbeadraws]

Thanks to a space jellyfish, local gay introduces trend of wearing sunglasses indoors like an asshole in like a billion multiple dimensions  based off this ✨(commission info)(kofi)✨

[kratt09]

people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

[kratt09]

thats not the word I meant to use

[coldspicyy]

None of these words are in the bible.

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

au contraire, mon ami

[transarsonist]

dont weird pussy, that's woke stale. penis absolute.

[saintjosie]

i’m sorry cock is in the bible?

[freeformtarsier]

Matthew 26:34 KJV

Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.

[saintjosie]

huh i didn’t know edging was in the bible either

[virtualgirladvance]

Of course it is, they've been waiting over two thousand years for the second coming

[synder-sync]

[chucktims]

something something i was never who you wanted me to be