dbecher

cool as hell and a friend to animals

[nlog-sama]

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

[ixtaek]

[theanti90smovement]

oh no…..i think something bad is happening.

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[wifegideonnav]

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

[thethirdromana]

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

yeah no offense to confucius or anything but if i was about to embark on a journey of revenge i would simply not dig two graves

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

jesus christ, getting laid in your enemy's grave? that's some freak shit but honestly i kinda dig it

[flagellant]

well yeah you dig it thats how you make a grave

[gwydionmisha]

A feel like this is a conversation between  Shakespeare's clowns, and I love that.

[inthefallofasparrow]

[phantomrose96]

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

[phantomrose96]

hang on I gotta look something up.

[i-suggest-vore]

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

[phantomrose96]

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on you for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

[blowery]

source, unknown.

wash your lettuce

[blowery]

Sadly, I have an update. Michigan is having a rough go of it right now.

[monchursouls]

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

[rat-in-the-grain]

Hehehehehe

[monchursouls]

Can I fucking help you?

[sasuke-offical]

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

[monchursouls]

What

[rat-in-the-grain]

What

[huffylemon]

[swan2swan]

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

[luimnigh]

[ladydevoir]

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[markovchaingang]

men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers

[cornedbeefhashtags]

Diane, clear my schedule. I’m attempting a recipe that says “prep time: 15 minutes.”

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

[averagejoey2000]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

well damn . egg on my face

[dingdongyouarewrong]

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

[averagejoey2000]

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

[averagejoey2000]

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

[averagejoey2000]

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

[averagejoey2000]

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

[nickdouglas]

This fucking site

[effemimaniac]

sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions