This Gon Be Wild

I love the humans are weird tag (I know, how could you have guessed) I'm 16, ace/demiro, she/her pronouns and my main is @hao-aceakura. This is a hate free blog and if you have an issue with something on here, either comment on the thing or just inbox me or something

[anachronic-cobra]

Alien: how did you humans survive long enough to form a functioning society? You have no claws, sorely lacking physical strength as a species, no physical defenses…

Human: we just walked quickly after things that were faster than us until they died or got too tired to run away anymore and accepted death.

Alien: what the he-

Human: Yeah, badass, right? There’s a reason we’re top dog on Earth.

Human: *trips over own feet, gets foot caught in a bucket, yanks ladder down onto self trying to stay upright, falls in a pile of limbs and pain*

Alien: …are you sure

[prokopetz]

Bad: Aliens who are bewildered by basic aspects of human society like cooking food and wearing clothes, implying that no similar practices exist anywhere else in the universe.

Good: Aliens who regard human society as largely unremarkable, but if questioned it rapidly becomes apparent that their understanding of the motive and purpose of various human cultural practices is subtly yet bizarrely askew.

[friendlylocalgeek]

“Ah, I see you have placed a simple lock upon the lavatory door for when you are… eliminating waste. I understand.”

“Thank you, Zazar…”

“You wish to make it harder for your enemies to ambush you during a moment of vulnerability. Very clever!”

“Wait, what?!”

[biggaybunny]

That’s basic level what about more like:

“You’ve spent quite a long time cooking that meal, Human Jan.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been a while since I’ve had home-cooked food and there’s really no substitute, you know?”

Zorzr nods, then looks around and leans in close.

“I’m glad to have someone who understands. I suspect some of the other crew look down on my kind for consuming heated matter instead of thermo-regulating. But I’ve never thought about caring so much about the form of the heated matter before! We shall be great friends, Human Jan!”

“Uhh, actual– yeah, you know what, sure. We sure will.”

[vvirtue-deactivated20220326]

“Painting your mouth and nails in such a bright red is brilliant idea.”

“Thank you!”

“We never even considered painting such warning-colours on our carapaces to deter predators!”

“Well….”

[howlingguardian]

Nah, nah, nah, Humans might turn out to be the Deathworlders or the Pack-Bond-To-Everything species, but I’ve got an idea what we’d be.

The thing I’ve heard most about Breath Of The Wild is that everyone wants to bang the shark guy.

The thing I’ve heard most about Mass Effect is that you can seduce all the aliens. (And that the ending for the third game was bad, I don’t know, I never played it.)

You see a picture of an alien,(or an elf or an orc or whatever) and there will be a comment somewhere of what said alien would be like in bed.

That’s our role in the universe- that no matter how strange the species, there is a human somewhere who will try to seduce them.

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

we are the jack harkness of the universe

[thedaysoftheflowerblossoms]

♂: I am a boy who has a crush on you

♀: I am a girl who has a crush on you

⭐: I am a nonbinary person who has a crush on you

✂: Just delete your tumblr already

✌: You’re awesome

♡: I love your blog

❁: You’re beautiful

🌸: You’re attractive

✓: I hate you

☹: You’re ugly

☀: I want to fuck you

♬: I wish we were close

♧: I wish we were friends in real life

☆: I relate to a lot of the same things you go through

☮: You inspire me

☾: We should kiss maybe if you wanna that’d be great

✖: I would give you the greatest hug

★: I’m scared to talk to you but I think you’re great

∇: You’ve changed urls/icons so much that I don’t remember who you are

○: I don’t remember why I follow you

☄: I wish I could help you but I’m not sure how

✨: You’ve taught me things

⚓️: I wish you’d take better care of yourself

©: You’re a bit problematic

™: You’re a cinnamon roll

❄️: I cherish you

🌙: Please post more

💫: We don’t talk much but I wouldn’t mind being your friend

♪: You’re very talented

∀: I don’t understand you

[ilovewhiterussian]

- you think people are ready for contact with us?

- let’s try their drinks

- wow l i q u i d 

[chickenwraith-deactivated202403]

the translation does nothing to explain this

[minejsg]

Another humans are weird idea

I read two hours worth of aliens interacting with humans and all the humans can explain the situation somehow. Why we do things, why we don’t do things. Why we react in a certain way,etc. 

I have no idea if this already exists but here’s my idea: What if the human has no idea what is going on with the other human? Or how to explain, repair things because it’s not related to their workspace. 

“HumanSusan, why does HumanThomas stab himself with this thin obect?” (Needle)

“He probably suffers from diabetes.”

“What is diabetes?”

“It’s the lack of a certain protein in the human body which we need to function properly. He needs to inject insulin otherwise he will die. But it’s a common porblam so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Could you explain this further?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m a mechanic not a doctor. If you want to know how the human body works go an talk to a human doctor. They’ve studied that shit for years.”

or

“HumanJack. Am I correct that you are a scientist?”

“Given the fact that I work in the labor I would say yes. Why?”

“Could you spare some time and explain how it’s possible that two human with blue eyes have a child with brown eyes?” 

“Look….. I am a physics scientist. I can build you a laser in no time. I can use the formula for mass time acceleration if I have to but don’t waste your time with asking me about the human body. I hated biology my entire life and will hate it untill I die…………….. Also I’m pretty sure that this is not how genetics work.”

or

“What happened?”

“Some wires inside the computer braised.”

“Can you fix it, HumanTed?”

“I’m a nurse not a electrician.”

[halgorithmic]

It is how genetics work because of dominant and recessive genes. The genes can skip over several people before they emerge again (correct me if I’m wrong)

[sangvinaria]

Constellations

this has probably already been done but, oh well.

But what if humans are the only species to have constellations?

Like, aliens categorise stars, but don’t make patterns out of them?

“Look, K’roth, Andromeda! That was always one of my favourites”

“Ah, do humans also call stars “constellations?” or is that just an American-human way of saying it?”

“No? It’s the constellation, Andromeda. You don’t know what constellations are?”

“No, Human-Jake, I appear to be unfamiliar with that terminology.”

“Well, a constellation is a a group of stars”

“Like a cluster, correct?”

“Well, no. They make a pattern. A lot of them are named after our myths. We have loads of them, and different places have different ones.”

“Ah. So they are another way of categorising stars.”

“I guess? Yeah, I think so. I mean, we used to just think they were pictures in the sky. We named them after things we thought looked like them, even though they don’t really look like them.”

“You Humans are truly different”

it’s such a human thing.

[halgorithmic]

Yeah there’s another one it went like:“

Alien: We split our sky into elevenths because of religious reasons and the other aliens make fun of us for that…what do humans do?

Human: we… split ours into animal shapes”

But Yours is pretty good

[inactiveaccount12345678]

My roomba is scared of thunderstorms

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off–no power surges or anything, just thunder–and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

[systlin]

Humans will pack bond with anything. 

[apostatively]

I had a teenage girl come into my tea shop with her mother the other night. She purposely grabbed a teamaker in the most crunched-up looking box on the shelf (got banged around in shipment) and carried it protectively over to the counter. “If something’s in a damaged box I have to get it because I’m afraid no one else will love it,” she laughed nervously.

Not only will humans pack bond with anything, the empathy level of adolescent girls in particular likely has puppy-saving, world hunger-solving, war-ending powers.

[a-dull-glow]

I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said “is it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?” And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

okay, so Im seeing a lot of gun control stuff lately,, and honestly so much of it is so dumb. people who are trying to defend anti gun control are missing the point entirely, going with things like, if you see a person with a gun then what are you gonna do? shooting them saves people and thats why we need guns. 

thats a dumb retort

do you know why?

because in the scenario where you guys actually enact gun control, people will not be breaking into your house with a gun.

don’t say it won’t work, because it does work. it has worked. 

look at Australia, look at England. gun control works. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pOiOhxujsE&t=0s&index=1&list=PLOKWcH1zBl2kfnCwyyZWk5MW28lgaNa7L

this is all I am going to say on this 

[xaqalibre]

You talk about people not breaking into your house with a gun, then reference England…where more than half (and climbing) of all home invasions occur while the families are present (thus putting them all in danger), compared to 10% in the US and virtually none in states like New Hampshire, a fact attributed at least in part to civilian gun ownership?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/3613417/An-Englishmans-home-is-his-dungeon.html

[ra11y]

>look at Australia and england

Pffhahahahahahahaha gun control didn’t so anything to help them.

Op what if someone just builds a gun? What then?

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

okay, so for reference I looked up the statistics: in the use tens of thousands of people die/ are injured from gun violence PER YEAR

in the uk? in the hundreds at most

also exactly how many people do you think know how to build a gun? 

because I can tell you it is not nearly as easy to build a gun as it is to buy one in the us

as much as you would like to you really cant fight the statistics also did you watch the videos I attached? any of you? because I attached them for a reason 

yeah, nothing is going to get rid of it completely, but we can reduce it and not even just by a small amount, I haven’t exactly done the maths, but tens of thousands to low hundreds? In the math circle we like to call that being lowered by a whole shit ton

[ra11y]

Sorry we’re discussing violence rates not violent crime counts but thanks for trying it was a bold effort

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

well I’m discussing gun violence specifically, and trust me it has gone

d

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once again did you watch the videos? they explain way more/better than I ever could about it. 

[ra11y]

No I’m at work.

So as long as gun violence goes down but all other crime goes up, it’s still a victory? You’d take higher crime over gun crime overall? Seems misguided.

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

a) I would really love to hear some sources for what you’re saying, out of interest.

b) I am not going to argue with you any further until you have watched the videos as they are a part of what I am saying and so far I have listened to everything you have said and I refuse to have a debate without you listening to everything I am saying.

[ra11y]

Australia gun control did nothing:

http://therevenantrising.tumblr.com/post/139744024875/therevenantrising-me-when-anti-gunners-bring

A couple graphs showing gun bans did nothing in a few countries

either crime increased or stayed the same

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

A) have you watched the videos yet, please don't reply until you have as otherwise I have no way of knowing when you have (if you are about to get mad about my reasons for this please read my last reply) (if you about to get mad at me assuming you might get mad and preparing for the possibility, Kindly don’t waste my time doing that)

B) I mean, it completely stopped mass shootings, but yeah, sure. that’s nothing

C) all of the links in the post you tagged were broken. 

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

okay, so Im seeing a lot of gun control stuff lately,, and honestly so much of it is so dumb. people who are trying to defend anti gun control are missing the point entirely, going with things like, if you see a person with a gun then what are you gonna do? shooting them saves people and thats why we need guns. 

thats a dumb retort

do you know why?

because in the scenario where you guys actually enact gun control, people will not be breaking into your house with a gun.

don’t say it won’t work, because it does work. it has worked. 

look at Australia, look at England. gun control works. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pOiOhxujsE&t=0s&index=1&list=PLOKWcH1zBl2kfnCwyyZWk5MW28lgaNa7L

this is all I am going to say on this 

[xaqalibre]

You talk about people not breaking into your house with a gun, then reference England…where more than half (and climbing) of all home invasions occur while the families are present (thus putting them all in danger), compared to 10% in the US and virtually none in states like New Hampshire, a fact attributed at least in part to civilian gun ownership?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/3613417/An-Englishmans-home-is-his-dungeon.html

[ra11y]

>look at Australia and england

Pffhahahahahahahaha gun control didn’t so anything to help them.

Op what if someone just builds a gun? What then?

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

okay, so for reference I looked up the statistics: in the use tens of thousands of people die/ are injured from gun violence PER YEAR

in the uk? in the hundreds at most

also exactly how many people do you think know how to build a gun? 

because I can tell you it is not nearly as easy to build a gun as it is to buy one in the us

as much as you would like to you really cant fight the statistics also did you watch the videos I attached? any of you? because I attached them for a reason 

yeah, nothing is going to get rid of it completely, but we can reduce it and not even just by a small amount, I haven’t exactly done the maths, but tens of thousands to low hundreds? In the math circle we like to call that being lowered by a whole shit ton

[ra11y]

Sorry we’re discussing violence rates not violent crime counts but thanks for trying it was a bold effort

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

well I'm discussing gun violence specifically, and trust me it has gone

d

  o

    w

       n

once again did you watch the videos? they explain way more/better than I ever could about it. 

[rhtae-deactivated20231026]

hey uh? i dont really know if this is real but im? kinda both scared and disgusted rn? even if you’re not muslim if you could spread this? i dont know how many muslim followers i have but, please, stay safe?

[viatae-deactivated20191016]

please spread this and please stay safe.

[hawaiianshirt-s]

every single one of my followers should reblog this. Keep your brothers and sisters safe.

[buzzlight-yee-deactivated201810]

DUDE WTH

[jisoosrainbow]

what the frick is this real

[jisoosrainbow]

according to the internet this is a real thing in the UK.

thats messed up.

stay safe 

[strangesigils]

I just looked it up and for real people are getting these letters all over the UK.

Please be safe if youre muslim, if youre not muslim please look out for and protect the muslim people around you, theres some seriously sick people out there that may very well act on this.

[zdelta-xray-delta]

What the actual fuck.

Please stay safe everyone

[splend-42]

Rushed to snopes, hoping to find it’s a hoax - doesn’t seem to be, and it’s reported on The Independent and on Sky News and on The Guardian.

Stay safe, everyone.

[garrymetric]

Stay safe everyone

[airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat]

As usual dickheads like this lack any sense of irony.  “Are you a sheep like the vast majority of the population?” the letter reads. “Sheep follow orders and are easily led.”  Prove you’re not a sheep!  Commit a violent crime because an anonymous letter told you to!

[blenderbender1811]

Another heads up. Stay safe, guys.

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

this is hugely messed up, stay safe

[prokopetz]

Bad: Aliens who are bewildered by basic aspects of human society like cooking food and wearing clothes, implying that no similar practices exist anywhere else in the universe.

Good: Aliens who regard human society as largely unremarkable, but if questioned it rapidly becomes apparent that their understanding of the motive and purpose of various human cultural practices is subtly yet bizarrely askew.

[friendlylocalgeek]

“Ah, I see you have placed a simple lock upon the lavatory door for when you are… eliminating waste. I understand.”

“Thank you, Zazar…”

“You wish to make it harder for your enemies to ambush you during a moment of vulnerability. Very clever!”

“Wait, what?!”

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

okay, so Im seeing a lot of gun control stuff lately,, and honestly so much of it is so dumb. people who are trying to defend anti gun control are missing the point entirely, going with things like, if you see a person with a gun then what are you gonna do? shooting them saves people and thats why we need guns. 

thats a dumb retort

do you know why?

because in the scenario where you guys actually enact gun control, people will not be breaking into your house with a gun.

don’t say it won't work, because it does work. it has worked. 

look at Australia, look at England. gun control works. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pOiOhxujsE&t=0s&index=1&list=PLOKWcH1zBl2kfnCwyyZWk5MW28lgaNa7L

this is all I am going to say on this 

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

introducing me

hey, so I've realise that most of you probably know nothing about me, so here’s the introduction that nobody asked for

my name is Megan, all of my friends just call me maagoo (I am the one person only known by nickname)

I use she/her pronouns but I honestly don’t care call me whatever.

im a proud ace/pan demiro, and preferences towards girls (have you seen them? women are just freaking beautiful) I have a tendency to just say that I'm gay, or queer, to make things easier though.

im v. autistic, and pretty sure I'm adhd, though that one isn’t official.

I'm hella a Slytherin, but Hufflepuff also holds a special place in me

I adore musicals, and lately I've been getting really into les mis and wearing shirts and don’t tell Timmy.

I binged shadow hunters over the course of like three days not long ago, and that was pretty lit.

I like to draw, and in fact you can find my art insta @ themaagoodraws, and on my Tumblr I post less but any that I do post is tagged #themaagoodraws. considering starting an art side blog? what do you guys think?

I run both @hao-aceakura​ and @deadlyunicornsofspace​, hence why this is posted on both, and I am starting a writing blog over @5amandhighlycaffinated​

at some point I really need to start drawing some comics I have planned based on irl events because I have some wild tales to tell.

rick riordan is my fave and honestly idk what else there is to tell about me other than how fucking inactive I am.

sorry about that

I need sleep, it’s 3 am

[thatsabood]

saying you’re asexual isn’t cringy

saying you’re aromantic isn’t cringy

saying you’re demi/gray isn’t cringy

saying you’re sex repulsed isn’t cringy

saying you’re sex positive/neutral isn’t cringy

A-spec identities aren’t cringy

but having a blog dedicated to bullying people for their sexual/romantic orientation?

now That’s cringy

[updatebug]

You know what I want? As we’ve established that humans are a race of terrifying omnivores - eaters of chillies and coffee and chocolate - I want Earth alcohol to kick space alcohol’s butt. 

Like I want aliens to be up there going like Winky on buttobeer. Sipping on their malt wine and fermented grains/berries. And sure, they may have great tolerance for that stuff, maybe it just gets them lightly buzzed and then they come down to earth. 

And at first they find it very amusing. Earthlings, getting drunk off downing a couple of very teeny glasses of some clear liquid.  Then one of them makes the mistake of trying vodka. and it knocks them the fuck out. Like waking up in your bathroom with a new tattoo and feather boa on kind of knocked out. And after that humans become much more terrifying. 

“They make alcohol out of everything”, one alien whispers to his stunned friends, “and then,” He pauses to create a suitable air of horror “They mix them together.” 

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

the species of spite

okay, so this has probably been done elsewhere, but relatively recently I found out that other animals don’t do spite in the same way humans do.

so do aliens?

imagine if revenge is an entirely new concept for aliens, and the tiny ways that we enact it? entirely new.

lets say that one crew member (a) really hates another (b) and so one day b does something, and the next day when they’re doing to get chocolate milk or something, all of the loops that you pull to open them have been cut. and alien (c) is like: how could this have happened?

b storms off and a comes in laughing.

c is really confused because why are they laughing? there must have been some kind of malfunction in the chocolate milk!

a explains that it was them ‘to get back at b for not returning my hair bobbles the other day’

and c just? but how does this help? surely you could just talk to them about it?

a) that isn’t how war works c

---

sorry this is kinda short and shitty, but I haven't posted in an age, and figured I should get back to it, sorry I've kind of fallen off of the website but I have my French gcse in less than two weeks (save me) and am currently kinda dying.