So, that happened.

reblog account, more or less.  ace/aro, nonbinary, they/them pronouns

[godzilla-reads]

The only reason I was able to read as voraciously as I did growing up was because of mass market paperbacks.

Special hardcover editions are nice or paperbacks with deckle edges and sprayed sides, but the mass market paperback is the pillar of society.

[rimonoroni]

pssssst hey. hey. free and expansive database of folk and fairy tales. you can thank me later

[literallymechanical]

Lots of writing advice on tumblr. It's been years since I've written fiction in a serious way, but I did write a couple of (bad) novels in my early 20's, a bunch of short stories, and also a few hundred thousand words of LARP writing, and I do have a bacherlor's of science in creative writing (lol).

From what I can tell, there are only three universally applicable pieces of writing advice:

Read a lot (mandatory)

Show your writing to people (mandatory)

Have something wrong with you in a way that is impossible to articulate except by writing a novel (optional)

[revivivivify]

[beautifulscreaminglady]

Watch for FREE on Youtube

[revretch]

You know what messes me up?

This dinosaur skeleton is incomplete. But, it doesn't look that way to us, because the parts it's missing are parts we don't have.

See how there are ribs on the bottom? Those are called gastralia. That's right, dinosaurs had ribs on their stomachs as well, and modern crocodiles and alligators still have them! (Also, notice that the ribs keep going to the hips instead of stopping above the waist. This is also true of modern birds, and why a bird can't have a concave stomach!)

Next, notice that ring floating in the center of the eye socket? That's called a sclerotic ring! Fish, reptiles, birds--with the exception of mammals (and, oddly enough, crocodilians), pretty much all modern vertebrates still have them! It's literally an eyeball bone. Afaik we haven't found a T-rex specimen with any intact, but since we've found them in other dinosaurs, it's very likely they had them too.

So, keep that in mind next time you see a dinosaur skeleton.

[revretch]

I'm glad people are as excited as I was to learn about the Secret Dinosaur Bones

[revretch]

On the contrary, T. rex had such big eyes that a significant portion of its brain was devoted to visual processing!

See, these aren't eye socket bones.

These bones went inside the eyeballs.

[theoakleafpancake]

does anyone have any good fantasy book recs (standalone or series idc) that aren't acotar or tog or any other mainstream romantasy series that keep being pushed onto my feed T-T

[solarishashernoseinabook]

-cracks knuckles-

D: A Tale of Two Worlds, by Michael Faber: the letter D starts disappearing one day. Main character Dhikilo gets called Hikilo; people walk their ogs, not their dogs; a child protests "I in't o it!" instead of "I didn't do it!". Dhikilo goes through a portal to another world to find out where the letter D went

The Stranger Times, by CK McDonnell: a young woman gets a job at a newspaper that covers strange phenomena, and they end up uncovering an actual conspiracy involving immortals. Very funny, tho with a lotta swearing

Spinning Silver, by Naomi Novik: a Jewish retelling of Rumpelstiltskin, where a young woman is granted the power to turn silver into gold by the fae. Minimal romance in this one

Uprooted, by Naomi Novik: the story of a young woman in a village surrounded by a malevolent forest, who becomes apprentice to the wizard who guards her village and keeps her safe. A bit more romance in this one, and an explicit sex scene farther along

The Book Eaters, by Sunyi Dean: low fantasy/scifi (it can be considered either genre, really) about a woman who's a book eater - someone who eats books to absorb their knowledge, and who in fact can't live off of normal human food. Her son is a mind eater (he consumes people's memories and personalities instead), and she's on a quest to find a cure for him that'll turn him into a normal book eater. Again, minimal romance, though there is sex with some dubious consent

Vespertine, by Margaret Rogerson: in a world where the dead have to be given special rites to prevent them rising again as malevolent spirits, a young nun binds herself to one of the most powerful spirits there is to save the kingdom from an attack by the undead. Extremely minimal romance (two side characters are implied to get together, that's it)

Once There Was and Bird of a Thousand Stories, by Kiyash Monsef: a young girl who's a vet to fantasy creatures. The second book sets up a third, though it's just the two of them for now. Minimal to no romance (slight mention of the MC getting a crush, that's all), but as she's a vet there's a lot of discussion of animal injury

The Moorchild, by Eloise McGraw: this is an older one at this point, but it's about a young changeling who slowly discovers who she is

Guest, by Mary Downing Hahn: another changeling tale, this one about a girl who accidentally opens the door for the fae to steal her brother. She take the changeling with her to get her brother back

The Ballad of Perilous Graves, by Alex Jennings: a young boy in a fantasy version of New Orleans who has to track down magical songs that have begun to go missing, which will destroy the city if they aren't restored

To Shape a Dragon's Breath, by Moniquill Blackgoose: PEAK dragon fantasy about an indigenous girl who finds the first dragon egg her people have had in centuries, forced to go to a coloniser-run dragon school to learn to ride it. More romance heavy than the others, but it's not a huge focus - the focus is more on the racism our MC faces. The sequel comes out at the end of the month!

[catchymemes]

A drink or two

[fluffmugger]

#the internet is a chaotic neutral space#if you ask a chaotic neutral entity to do something for you might not get a no#but you might get a very strange yes

[psilocervidae]

Why you should give Text Adventure games a try (yes, you!)

There is not nearly enough love for Text Adventure Games here on Tumblr. Or anywhere really. But especially here, I feel like you guys would really get a kick out of them. Here's why:

(quick note, I'm gonna be using the words Text Adventure and Interactive Fiction pretty interchangeably here. Technically that's not perfectly accurate. Visual novels count as interactive fiction, so do all video games I guess if you squint. And not all text-based interactive fiction can really be called Text Adventure (games like Narcolepsy, Depression Quest, and Scene Kid Simulator aren't really adventure games in any sense of the word). Just roll with it.

So

Do you like weird short stories told through unconventional mediums? That's most of what Interactive Fiction is

You like story based video games but hate the finicky combat? Congrats, there is literally no combat skill required beyond the ability to type "hit guard with crowbar"

Blind or visually impaired? Since these games are (with a few exceptions) entirely text based, they work great with a screen reader!

Sick of profit motivated AAA titles with no creative integrity? Well, these games are almost always produced by a single nerd (usually a horrid amalgamation of computer geek and literature geek) with no budget and no responsibilities of the product they're making. And they're usually not paid, since these games are free. Text Adventure is a labour of love, and in most games you can feel the care and effort the creator has put into the game.

Sick of spending $20-70 on a video game? Lucky you, I've been playing TA for years and I have not spent a cent in doing so (Fallen Londen will try to make you pay. But Fallen Londen sucks and is run by bigots. Fuck Fallen London.) Games are either available free on a browser, or as free, small downloadable files (most of which can be played using the Parchment Interpreter)

Wish you read more, but reliant on the quick dopamine of digital media? Well now you can read while also being an active participant in the narrative.

Bad at puzzles? Me too! Games from the 80s and 90s, as well as more famous newer games, have walkthroughs and hints easily available online. Newer games tend to either have a "hint" command, or come with a walkthrough file.

Do you like weird surrealist horror? Well there's... A lot of it.

Okay, but where do I start?

So there are two types of text adventure. The one you might be more accustomed to, and which sees more modern use, is called Hypertext Interactive Fiction. The other is called Parser Interactive Fiction, it's generally seen in older games, as well as games that are larger, feature more puzzles, or involve more exploration.

Hypertext games

Basically, the game will give you a scenario, and then a list of options (hypertext links) to click on to decide what to do next. These are usually more beginner friendly since you don't need to fiddle around with parsers, but personally I find them a bit limiting. Nonetheless, if you're new to Text Adventure, they're a good place to start.

Some of my favourites hypertext games (summaries in green)

My Father's Long, Long Legs is an interactive horror story about family, unease, and loss. Really more of a story than a game, but still good. Very nice use of sound. It does have some visual aspects, so this one might not work with screen readers

Scene Kid Simulator is pretty much what it says on the tin. A cute, nostalgic, coming-of-age slice of life story from the POV of a 2000s scene preteen. Nothing special, but a fun time.

The Uncle Who Works at Nintendo is a strange, unconventional, witty, and heartfelt horror game. Your friend has an uncle who he says works for Nintendo. You're about to meet him, or so he says. A fun and look at childhood, childhood friendships, and childhood lies.

16 Ways to Kill a Vampire at McDonald's is... A joy to play. The name says it all honestly. Witty, charming, tense, engaging, and emotional when it wants to be. I actually found this one through a lucky Tumblr Blaze, which makes sense since this is perfectly suited to Tumblr sensibilities. This one has more puzzle aspects than most hypertext games, but it's still relatively easy and beginner friendly. You're a vampire hunter. It's your night off, and you go to McDonald's. But there's something wrong with the customer sitting beside you...

Toadstools is a game about hunting mushrooms. You have trespassed in a national park and you are wandering blindly through the woods looking for rare fungi. Good luck :)

Parser games

Okay these fuckers are where I really get excited. These games have the classic flashing cursor line where you input text like "go north", "search bookshelf", or "kiss my husband", and the game's rudimentary AI parses your input to decide what happens next. These are my favourites. They really allow you the feeling of exploring the game world, immerse you in the protagonist and the story, using just text on a screen and simple inputs. This does make them considerably more difficult, since a) you need to decide the right way to phrase what you want to do, otherwise it won't work, and b) more possibilities means more chances to mess up and miss things. Unlike video games, your cursor won't light up when you see something important, you'll have to search stuff and work things out on your own But, in my opinion, it is so, so worth it. Summaries in red

The first text adventure game I ever played was One Eye Open. It's an extremely graphic and gory medical horror game (although I would consider it tasteful medical horror, in that it never derives horror from medical procedures, disability, or ooOoHh gross scary sick people) You play as a volunteer test subject for a medical research facility, having to unravel the mystery of the hospital's bloody past. It's good. It's fun. It's tense. It has some really dumb mechanics. Don't play if you're sensitive to descriptions of gore, death, or corpses. This one doesn't have a walkthrough, but I've played it enough times to know the puzzles by heart, DM me if you need help.

Anchorhead is possibly my favourite piece of interactive fiction I've ever played. It's incredible. You play as a newlywed woman, moving to the small seaside town of Anchorhead after your husband Michael inherited a mansion from some distant relatives. There's something wrong with the town though. There's definitely something wrong with your husband's mysterious ancestors. And you're starting to think that there might be something strange happening to Michael. Get ready for some wonderfully atmospheric and immersive Lovecraftian horror, action sequences that are incredibly vibrant for Text Adventure, and a super compelling mystery that the game lets you work out on your own. The puzzles here are hard. I'm not gonna lie, I used a walkthrough at several points during this game. But my god it's worth it. Big massive huge content warning here for mentions of incest, sexual assault, and pedophilia. Not in excess, and nothing explicit, but it will be mentioned as part of the story.

Little Blue Men is a short, strange, sci-fi-ish horror-ish comedy-ish game by the same author as Anchorhead, though the two games are wildly different. You are an office worker. Cope with it. Take The Stanley Parable, Stella Firma, and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, mash 'em together, and you have Little Blue Men. It's bizarre. It's evocative. It's pretty darn good.

Coloratura is a strangely beautiful sci-fi story. You're a weird little alien blob. You've been separated from your home and are trapped aboard a human spaceship. You need to get home, need to make the humans understand in the only ways you can: color and song.

Slouching Towards Bedlam is a brilliant little steampunk game about language, choice, cults, Armageddon, and triangles. This game has multiple endings. It's neat in that none of the endings are really "good" or "bad". Rather, you need to decide where you stand, and act in the way you think is best.

The Lurking Horror is the grandparent of horror interactive fiction, released in the late 80s. You're a tech student in university. Something more than electricity is powering the school's computers. Find it, but don't die along the way. Besides the comically archaic descriptions of computers, this game doesn't feel all that dated. It's tricky, puzzle-heavy, and charmingly surreal. (Fun fact, this game inspired the "darkness kills you" mechanic which would later be popularized in Don't Starve!)

Nine Lives is a very short, very weird, very cartoony game where you play a cat that is very bad at staying alive. Cw for non-graphic but repeated cat death.

Spider and Web is one of the most ingenious uses of Text Adventure as a medium I've ever seen. It's famous for having one of, if not the singular best puzzles in video game history. It's tense, it's fast-paced, it introduces you to mechanics slowly and then lets you test them out on your own. I won't spoil too much, but you play as a very badass spy, reliving your brilliant heist during an interrogation. This game even features a character destined to be a Tumblr Sexyman. It really has it all.

If anyone actually read through all this, and has even considered playing any of these games, I'll be a little surprised. This post turned out a lot longer than I wanted it to be. It was meant to just be "hey interactive fiction is a cool and underappreciated medium, go check it out", but this is my special interest, and not one I often get to talk about. I guess this was me infodumping to the only place that will listen, the empty void of the internet. But these games are fun. And they do not get enough love. Text games are a dying genre, if they're not dead already. Give them a chance, show them some love.

[psilocervidae]

@icannotgetoverbirds thank you! I'm glad you're interested! The post contains links to all the games (although most will not work on mobile, since most of these games predate mobile phones. The links won't take you directly to the games, but rather to a portal through which the games can be launched.

Most of the links I provided are to IFDB, the Interactive Fiction Database, a community run archive which allows you to search for games by title, age, genre, and community reviews. It has plot descriptions, reviews, and "people who rated this game highly also enjoyed [blank]" reccomendations. It will also provide a list of places each game can be played. Your best bet is online, it's the easiest to navigate and best for less tech-savvy people, although occasionally the online game will be missing some elements (like colour or music). You can also download the files, if they're HTML you can open them directly on your computer, if they're Glulx or Gblorb you can open them in Parchment.

There's also Textadventure.co.uk, which does a similar thing, but I personally find the UI and search function to be more clunky and less accurate (if IFDB is Ao3, TA.co is closer to Wattpad). You're also gonna see many more hypertext games than parser games, which as I mentioned isn't ideal for me.

Lastly, if you really wanna plumb the depths, there's the IF Archive. This is truly an archive in every sense of the word. Founded in 1992, contains close to every piece of text adventure gaming content ever published, as far as I can tell. There's no keyword search function or review feature, just a long winding series of lists of links and web portals. If you're lucky you'll get game descriptions like "A horror mystery game" or "a twisted fairy tale", but just as often you'll have to pick games through titles and vibes alone. Personally, sifting through decades of the Archive looking for games with cool titles to blindly download is my definition of a fun Saturday, but it's... Not for everyone.

Sorry for the rambling again. If you have any more questions, do not hesitate to ask. And if you do play any of these games and enjoy them, please DM me. I need more people (read- any people) to talk to about this stuff.

[icannotgetoverbirds]

thank you so much! I can't wait

[psilocervidae]

See I could say "no, don't do this to me" or something but that'd be a lie. I love TA and I want other people to see it. Reblog my posts boy.

Fuck it, if this gets to 20k notes, I'll eat an entire raw onion. Like an apple. That's how much I wanna see these games get recognized.

[thememedaddy]

[freakoutgirl]

sorry for being annoying [remembers that practicing gratitude instead of shame is better for my mental health and my relationships] thank you for letting me be annoying with you

[sweatermuppet]

i understand its chronic pain but every day seems a bit excessive

[tofixtheshadows]

Do you think Naomi Novik ever looks at AO3

sees some incest mpreg

and whispers to herself “I never wanted this.”

[astolat]

No. :)

[shinraalpha]

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

[elodieunderglass]

The mileage on this one is totally normal Elrond. Hey speaking of can I park him here for a while

[the-birth-of-art]

h/t to @namasteinside for the lol

[zinjanthropusboisei]

In "Unfinished Tales" there's a section where the Fellowship gets Gandalf to tell his side of the story about how he recommended Bilbo to Thorin's company and this is literally how it went down:

[carsen-daily]

There were just so many great additions to this post that I had to put them all in one place.

[loserofandraste]

Han Time Traveling to the TCW Era Shenanigan Thoughts

- He would definitely try to convince past-Chewbacca that they’re best friends and he owes him a life debt in about twenty years so they should team up. This absolutely doesn’t work, but it’s adorable how eager Han is to completely fuck the timeline because he misses his co-pilot

- Han and Anakin having the exact same type of personality clash as he and Leia do. Is that meant to be sexual tension? Fuck yes, why not?

- Han is aware that somewhere on Corellia, there’s a very small child version of himself living on the streets at the mercy of at least one crime lord. He either elects to try not to think about it, or he immediately goes to rescue kid him. I like to think the latter. Timeline stability? Timeline shmability. Little Han is a guest of the Jedi and he’s hanging out in whatever secret sideroom they had Grogu in. They’re friends now.

- Han destroying every single one of Palpatine’s carefully laid plans and subterfuge because he just keeps referring to him as the Emperor

- Han is not shy about insisting he’s from the future, but most people don’t believe him. The only ones that do are: Hondo Ohnaka, because of course he would, and Count Dooku, because the moment Han started talking about Emperor Palpatine, Dooku was like 👀👀👀👀

- Dooku finding out he isn’t relevant at all in the original series, figuring out Palps has him killed, so he’s like “Guess I’m teaming up with the Jedi now.”

- At this point, Han doesn’t know who Vader really is. He’d probably shrug and be like “There’s a giant guy in a suit of armor. Maybe that’s you?” to Dooku

- Hondo and Han team up

- Han constantly on alert because having nearly everyone around you look and sound like a bounty hunter that’s had it out for you for ages is unsettling.

- Important note: he is definitely terrified of Kid Boba. Bonus points if Kid Boba encounters Little Han, but instead of a death match it actually turns into Boba being like “All these clones may be genetically identical to me, but you’re my only brother” and would you BELIEVE it surprise found family.

[loserofandraste]

I thought of more, so here you go:

- Everyone thinks Little Han is Han’s son. Han is like “Sure, whatever.” Young Boba, who knows EXACTLY what being genetically identical to your father means, calls big hmmm almost immediately.

- Since Han doesn’t get his last name Solo until he’s an adult fleeing Corellia (if there’s one retconn I like about his backstory, it was that some random Imperial gives him a surname that eventually becomes legendary because he’s trying to mock that he has no family), Little Han needs a surname. Han could be like “Well it’s Solo, congrats” OR (and frankly I’m more fond of this), after Young Boba decides the found family trope is for him after this skinny, tiny, snotty-nosed street rat that was able to pickpocket Jedi *in* the Jedi Temple manages to gain a spot where his heart used to be, one day he’s like “You’re a Fett now. Han Fett may not roll off the tongue as nicely as Han Solo does, but it sure does roll off my heart perfectly.

- RIP Han encountering a Cad Bane in his prime. He thought he was scared of grown Boba Fett? lmao

- That being said, ever since the Rako Hardeen arc when Cad and Obi-Wan become friends, I like to think Bane is two sarcastic banters away from being ride or die with someone so maybe he and Han would be friends. Almost.

- Would love to see the look on Han’s face when he finds out that some lightsabers have multiple blades.

- Is Han able to outfly Anakin and Obi-Wan? Yes. Yes yes yes. I like Han being so shockingly good at flying that even Force sensitives are questioning how sensitive they really are if the dude that is like “I don’t think the Force is real” is leaving them eating space dust.

- Han is unimaginably polite to Padme. Like, he seems to become a different person around her. It’s like he instinctively knows she’s his mother-in-law.

- Someone putting Han haphazardly into clone trooper armor would be *chef kiss* who goes into a warzone in a fucking vest and civvie clothes? Han Solo.

- Han’s immediate reaction to Obi-Wan would be “Wow I can’t believe you used to be this hot, old man”

- I should have mentioned that the Falcon goes with him. Han needs his ride. Plus, the rising number of anachronisms having the Millennium Falcon there would cause is too enjoyable to pass up. Bonus points if at some point Luke’s lightsaber was left there and when the TCW squad finds it they’re like “Wtf…”

- Han would also be polite to Bail. Almost too polite. It’s like he’s guilty, but nobody can figure out what for because for once in his life he’s not saying a damned thing about it

[etherealspacejelly]

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

[should-be-sleeping]

You are allowed to accommodate yourself.

[bebx]

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own