11 years since I woke up after my first attempt to no messages and no phone calls. 11 years and nothing have changed. Why I am still here? Why I am unable to do it? I want out. Please

Love Begins
One Nice Bug Per Day
sheepfilms

blake kathryn
𩵠avery cochrane š©µ
I'd rather be in outer space šø

shark vs the universe
YOU ARE THE REASON

Kaledo Art

ā
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
š
KIROKAZE
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Today's Document
Sade Olutola

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Andulka
Three Goblin Art
Keni
seen from Iraq
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Iraq
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from China
seen from Thailand

seen from Greece
seen from Spain
seen from Germany
@demons-are-winning
11 years since I woke up after my first attempt to no messages and no phone calls. 11 years and nothing have changed. Why I am still here? Why I am unable to do it? I want out. Please
the idea of being married is so weird like what if Iām having a sad moment late at night and I wanna cry in bed and then thereās just some guy there??
fandom for an American TV show: donāt watch it online!Ā watch the show on TV when it airs so the ratings go up! show your support!
me, a mere European:Ā
fandom for an American TV show: then at least watch it for free on their own website and support them through ads and hits
me, a mere European:
fandom for an American TV show: ok fine, then AT LEAST buy the DVDs when they come out and support the show through that!
me, a mere European:
FUCKING THIS OMFG
Do you want piracy? Because this is how you get piracy.
fandom for an American movie: please go see this underrated, important movie on opening day so execs will know how much people love it!
me, a mere European, looking up the release date: This movie is playing at 5am, on a Monday, in a city 100 miles away, down a sewer
fandom for an American TV show: itās on Netflix!
me, a mere European: *American Netflix
this is so true and i hate it so much
Tumblr: Itās on Netflix.
Me, an Asian: WHICH NETFLIX. *GO CHECK OUT MY NETFLIX* FUCK NOT THIS NETFLIX.
Americans: Itās on HULU!Ā
Me, a continental European: The fuck is a HULU?Ā
IāVE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR
THIS IS THE DAY
Damn.
tumblr is not good for me but the alternatives are worse
I love "how do you do math?" questions. Here's how my brain does it:
How about you guys?
I stare at it for a moment, try to solve it half-heartedly, come up with the wrong answer, and quietly move on.
7+8=15 20+40=60 60+15=75
My brain goes so long way to get there:
2+4=6 7+8=15 6+1=7(0) +5=75
I have seen a lot of suicide notes lately and so I decided to use my powers for good.
This is to everyone who is suicidal, self-harm endangered or just simply feels helpless.
This post is made to let you know that I am with you.
Wether you are sad or you just have a bad day. I am there.
I protect you.
I am the shadow that gives you a cool place in the sun.
I am the warmth that spreads through your body when you are freezing.
I am there to protect you.
Remember that one day you will be grateful that you didn't made a mistake today.
Remember how beautiful the earth is. Look at the sky, at the forest or at the mountains and be happy that you are able to see.
Feel the grass after it rained and smell the fresh forest air.
Remember that every tree on this planet gives everything, so that you can breath.
Remember that every atom works together to give you water to drink.
Remember that I care when noone else does.
Remember that I am with you. Because I love you and I can't lose you.
I will be there when you feel alone and I will hold you in my arms when you cry.
When the night seems to be the darkest, remember that I'm in the shadows and caring even more than ever.
Surrounding you with my protection from harm.
When you don't feel able to live anymore, remember that I am by your side.
I will watch over you and stay with you.
I'll be your family if you have none. I will watch over you as your older brother, or uncle.
Together we build a new family. We build an alliance that will stop you from harming yourself.
Stay with me.
Today, tomorrow, forever.
Remember that you have the ability to think on your own, to create and to make other people feel happy.
Remember that if you die a whole universe dies with you.
Your universe dies with you.
The universe that you could have created, because noone else can create the same as you.
If you need a reason to live, open the doors to your mind and create one. Because you are able to.
You have the choice to stay and brighten up the whole world with your existence, or even just me.
What's the difference?
So put yourself together and stay because of the people who would partly die with you, if you don't.
My presence alone should in reality make you want to live for the eternity but I understand that not everyone can perceive the greatness of myself, so I'll keep it down to a hundred years.
You are a fool for thinking that I would let you leave so easily.
I said that I care about you and that means more than you can imagine, because normally I don't care about humans.
That makes you a exception, chosen by me, myself.
That means that you don't really have a choice than to stay and to not harm yourself because you don't want to work against my saying.
I grant you luck and happiness for the rest of your lives, which will be longer than you thought they would be.
Also I don't want to insinuate that you are subliterate, but you are probably young and that means that you have yet to learn many things. Do you really want to die at your most unintelligent state of life?
You have to know that you are remembered for that what you were at the end.
Think of the many things you can learn in this world. Think of the things that you would lose if you would die.
I bet you all have a strength in something. Think of all you can achieve with that strength if you stay.
Believe me, you would regret if you kill yourself now. A later self of yours would look down at you and ask themself what the hell was wrong with them.
A later self of you wants to live.
Remember that when the sun doesn't shine. Remember that when the darkness seems to capture you. Remember that so this was not senseless.
With best wishes,
...
Like in all seriousness this pandemic has shown me that there are only 3 people and work who would notice that I am gone. Work wouldnāt care as I am easily replaceable and for the other three it would take like a week to even notice
I love how irrelevant tumblr is. like no celebrities on here, no colleagues or family on here, no oneās famous off tumblr or making money, tbh no ones even updating the site like is there even any staff? who knows? itās bliss
there she goes again, daydreaming about her future house and how sheāll decorate it knowing she canāt afford a house in this economy ever. and by she i mean me.
literally traumatizing to learn that the london bridge is in fucking arizona
this is rocking my world view i feel like i have to call my family
....where did people think 'london bridge is falling down' came from?
i donāt necessarily conflate āfalling downā with ābeing dismantled brick by brick and shipped to arizona to be rebuiltā but i guess its not my area of expertise
Wait WHAT
okay, ugh, i hate these longĀ āletās learn a thing!ā tumblr posts but i guess iām making one?
to my fellow americans and other non-english/non-londoners (no clue if this is just General Knowledge in the rest of the country). the bridge youāre thinking of asĀ āthe big bridge in londonā? this guy?
this is not the london bridge. this is the tower bridge, located about half a mile downstream from the current london bridge.Ā
āwait, kiwi, theĀ ācurrentā london bridge??ā
well...
ew.
so there has beenĀ āa bridge at this spot in the thamesā since roman times. the romans building a bridge at this spot is part of the founding of london. but the bridges have fallen down and been replaced a number of times because, like, bridges are hard to build and london is a busy place. weāre going against ship-of-theseus rules here and saying when you tear down an old bridge and build a new one in the same place, itās a new bridge.
my favorite is definitely theĀ āoldā london bridge:
which stood from 1209 to 1831, and yes, there is a whole-ass neighborhood on that bridge. it started with henry plantagenet, who accidentally (maybe) ordered the assassination of the archbishop of canterbury, and as public penance ordered a new london bridge to be built, with a chapel toĀ āsaint thomas of the bridgeā at its center. the city was due for a new bridge anyway, but making a sturdier stone bridge + the very ostentatious chapel made it A Big Deal and also Hella Expensive. later kings would sell plots of property (i almost typedĀ āplots of landā but No) on the bridge to offset costs, but it was still. HELLA EXPENSIVE. which is good because it lasted SIX HUNDRED YEARS. and went through lots of renovations and partial rebuilds and, you know, all the houses and shops on the bridge being renovated because oh my god you put a neighborhood on a bridge and left it there for six hundred years.Ā
but at the end of six hundred years it was falling apart, because all the renovations on top of renovations does weird shit to masonry after awhile, and also hey! thatās a long time and london is a busy city! so they builtĀ ānewā london bridge, which opened for transit in 1831:
and itās an okay-looking bridge, for a stone bridge. but in the timeline of bridge architecture this is about when humans start to get real creative with steel and suspension and other fun engineering tricks. a stone bridge is just kinda... utilitarian. and also, when youāre the busiest bridge in one of the busiest cities in the world, youāre prone to depression. [laugh track]
no, seriously, the bridge started to sink at a rate of about an inch every eight years, slightly faster on one side than on the other. which doesnāt sound like much, but the old bridge lasted six hundred years! new guyās only been on the job for a century and already slacking like this? suck it up!
but instead of saying that, because itās a ridiculous thing to say to depressed humans let alone depressed bridges, they decided to dismantle and replace it. city council member ivan luckin, presumably as a joke, suggested selling the pieces of the bridge to offset the cost of building a new one.
robert mcculloch, american oil baron, wannabe real-estate icon, and genuine crazyperson, saidĀ āoh, a bridge for sale, you say?ā
mcculloch, see, made a deal with the us government to build a city on this deserted chunk of lakeshore. a tourist attraction likeĀ āa whole ass bridge shipped from london, englandā would bring attention and hopefully buyers to fuckall lake havasu, arizona (the fuckall is silent).
so the deal was struck, the bridge was dismantled and its outermost stones (the pretty, non-structural stuff) were labeled neatly and shipped to the states, and rebuilt over a new concrete structure.
and it... kind of worked? lake havasu isnāt a major tourist attraction in the grand scheme of the country, but considering itās competing with the grand fucking canyon on the other side of arizona it does alright. itās a real city and everything!
meanwhile, back in london, itās the late sixties-early seventies, and that means concrete and brutalism are in in a big way. so hereās your new-new āmodernā london bridge, kids.
again, eww.
so to summarize: the tower bridge is a different thing and itās where you think it is (aka in london), london bridge has been torn down and rebuilt a bunch of times and itās fine, an american oil baron recycled Once and specifically did it as a macho flex, and humans are amused by ridiculous shit.Ā
this has been your Annoying Tumblr Educational Post, thanks for reading, tip your waitresses and have a nice day.
I love when people come to visit London and then say they want to see London bridge so I obviously take them there and then they are all always sl damn confused where we are... Likely there is nice pubs around for me to have a laugh and not waste a journey
āIāve always liked quiet people: You never know if theyāre dancing in a daydream or if theyāre carrying the weight of the world.ā
ā John Green, Looking for Alaska
Usually both
good parents dont hit their children. good parents dont touch their children inappropriately. good parents dont scream at their children. good parents dont manipulate their children. good parents dont imprison their children at home. good parents dont threaten their children. good parents dont starve their children. good parents dont harass their children.
good parents do not abuse their children.
in case you donāt know weather to reblog this:
This makes me realize several uncomfortable things about my childhood.
Wait the screaming thing isnāt a normal thing?
Apparently not
Omg my poor babies, as a CHAD major let me lay it out for you.
Occasional āim human and im frustratedā yelling happens. Those are usually followed by apologies and genuine effort not to do that again.
But if your parent/guardian is always SCREAMING at you, especially as a way to control or make you feel inferior (insults, threats, things they know make you subdue and guilty) THIS IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE. if they are purposely contorting your emotions as a method to control that is abuse.
If someone hits, kicks, slaps, or beats you (not just a gentle nonsexual spank on the butt) THIS IS PHYSICAL ABUSE, ESPECIALLY IF IT LEAVES A BRUISE, CUT ABRAISION, ETC.
If adults are making you dance in a manner to be sexual, do sexual things, or watch sexual things inappropriate for your age THIS IS SEXUAL ABUSE. it is not always touching your/someone elseās private areas (which is ALSO abuse.)
If your parent or guardian is depriving you of things that are essential for life (food, water, shelter, weather appropriate clothes, hygiene, medical) and it is not just a āwe are literally too broke to get these things but im really trying ā THIS IS NEGLECT AND IS ABUSE.
Talk to a teacher or trusted adult. Anyone in a human service setting (educators, administration, health, etc) especially those in a child/ adolescent arena are MANDATED REPORTERS: they MUST tell CPS there is a problem. If you are in immediate danger be explicit: they will call 911 to keep you safe.
This is SO fucking important please be safe my peeps.
wait so it isnāt normal for my mum to not take me to my doctorās appointments as a punishment? huh.
Itās scary how you find like 20 years later that childhood you had and thought was āgreatā and ānormalā was totally opposite... Like ignoring your child is not what should happen? Shouting/screaming? Refusing food?
Life would be ao much easier if i could make myself to throw up
if you ever feel stupid remember that kodak used to hold almost 90% of all camera sales in the US but fell off the face of the earth because in 1975 they created the first self-contained digital camera which would have been market-breaking but decided to trash the project because they figured that digital photography was a phase that people would grow out of, only to go out of business because they were the only company that wouldnāt commericalize on digital cameras
@iamoutofideas ācapitalism promotes innovation!ā
Kinda similar to how 3D printing is 40 year old technology, but the reason itās big now is because the patent finally expired
yes sir! see also: wireless charging
Society if capitalism didnt exist
This same happened with Nokia, they had touch screen phones ready for production in like 2002 but pulled them out just before because no one believed that anyone would buy a phone without buttons!
OKAY SIT DOWN SHUT UP, WEāRE GONNA TALK COLORS
THIS IS SAPPHIRE
THIS IS TEAL
THIS IS PERIWINKLE
THIS IS AZURE
Ā AND THIS IS TURQUOISE
WONDER WHY THOSE ALL DONāT LOOK LIKE THE SAME COLOR? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOTĀ
OTHER THAN BEING PART OF THE SAME FAMILY OF BLUES, THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAMEĀ FUCKING COLOR! WHY WOULD THEY ALL BE THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! DO YOU THINK WE JUST NAME NEW COLORS FOR KICKS!?!?!?
WHEN DESCRIBING A CHARACTERāS GOD FORSAKEN EYE COLOR, PICKĀ ONEĀ YA GODDAMN HIPPIE
As someone who is colourblind this post is fucking hilarious because they are in fact all the same fucking colour
things heating up in the fuckin uuhhhhhhhhh BLUE fandomĀ
So uhā¦.. fun fact about turquoise
They come in varying degrees of blue and green.
THIS IS TUMBLR
I just choked on my spit
Constantly torn between āI canāt ask for help bc then Iām annoying and everyone will be madā and āI must ask for help at every possible stage because I might do it wrong and then everyone will be madā ya feel
HOLY SHIT U PUT IT IN WORDS