I seem to be suffering from some kind of delusion

[storm-of-feathers]

this is what every mental health conversation on this god forsaken website sounds like to me.

[cikero]

girl how could someone have died 2100 years ago

ok

[himynameisemail]

[coughloop]

Sorry man I didn't know

[teaboot]

reasonable response to being filmed in the shower

[shadowgremlin]

My wife’s idea of decompressing after the busy holiday was to rearrange every piece of furniture in our home is this an ADHD thing or just a her thing

I’m not complaining the way she’s done it is much better than it was it’s just like how is this your idea of a relaxing weekend

[kaity--did]

Listen I don't get to decide when the drunk elf that is my executive actually does the functioning but when he does we have a SMALL WINDOW OF TIME before he finds the schnapps again and we're done

[honeysbunchesofoats]

[kaity--did]

yes this exactly

[luminouspica]

So to me, there are spoons (general energy cost) and carnival tickets (specific energy cost).

Spoons can be used pretty much anywhere.

Carnival tickets are only good for the carnival, and it’s only in town for a limited amount of time.

So like, if I get “kitchen cleaning” carnival tickets, I can’t use that to clean my bedroom, that’s not where the carnival is.

[lingonberry24]

phrase added to permanent vocabulary

[huffylemon]

why yes I have seen tinks

[pyreflydust]

You... brought her home, right? Called her owners? Did something to get her generally in the direction of the people who certainly must miss their daughter dearly?

[st4lker]

no they just took a picture for tumblr and then threw the cat down a sewer drain

[srdcovka]

[theehorsepussy]

they are going this drink after me when i die

the horsepussy

2 parts apple martini flavored crystal lite

1 part methadone

[cetitanhasmoved]

We can’t have shit anymore

[ass-pushkin]

fear not my friends, i saved it

the legend of The Horsepussy lives on

[wellshitcaitlin]

@inneskeeper this seems relevant to your interests

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! SHE DOIBLES DOWN!

It is actually rare that I get shown stuff that could ACTUALLY be the spawning point of a new and proper named heresy within Holy Roman Catholicism.

“Jesus actually survived the crucifixion” is legitimately one of the most terrifyingly viable heretical traditions you could start. It fulfills the exact ramifications for a popular and overwhelming heresy: It supports and glorifies Christ’s strength (so powerful he could not die in a meaningful way), encouraging different theological philosophies and understandings of the source material, and is COMPLETELY RUINOUS about the WHOLE POINT of Jesus as the Lamb of God. He is destined to die to take on the sins of all humanity forever so we can br forgiven. The death and the resurrection of Christ after his journey into Hell for three days is cosmologically as important as the Trinity. It is one of the pivotal foundations of the entirety of the religion.

If Jesus didn’t die, he didn’t die for us. That changes a LOT of things. But it is at its root a heresy which is not anti-Christian and is instead just a completely irreconcilable veneration.

I love this woman. I need to encourage her to be like this.

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

tOxIcItY iS a ChArAcTeR tYpE this is fucking amazing

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

Okay it’s been several hours and I’m still not even slightly over this.

Like, Jesus said “I am the resurrection and the life, except the resurrection bit is metaphorical, because I’m too swole to actually die.”

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, but not really, for he made his only begotten son super fucking butch. Like, obviously way too butch to actually succumb to a little crucifying.”

“Pilate was surprised to hear that he was already dead. Summoning the centurion, he asked him if Jesus had already died. The centurion said to him, ‘Jesus is too shredded to kill, he’s like the Terminator, nothing can take him out.’ Pilate sent Joseph away with nothing, for Jesus was indestructible.”

“The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified but absolutely did not die. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he was just taking a little nap. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He never died, you all really jumped the gun this time.’”

“The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men, but it would take an atomic bomb to kill him, he’ll be fine.”

[espanolbot2]

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, for he shall be positively jacked, and for his swollage will enable him to bung the biggest rock he could lay his turkey-sized hands upon those that displease him. Amen.

[fade-steppin]

anyone want to start a new branch of christianity with me? i’m calling it Unkillable Jesus

[tanukiham]

turns out they very much did not kill jesus

[internerdionality]

How dare you leave “ma’am? MORMONS don’t even do that” in the tags

[rednines]

[fullmetalfisting]

ok this is gonna sound insane but when i was in high school we made a drink that we called a “fuck you” which was black coffee, crushed up adderall, and fireball whiskey. 

[fullmetalfisting]

The fact that young people make it past their late teens/early twenties is a miracle

[garbage-empress]

[morgenstern16]

????????????????????????????????????

[therealjacksepticeye]

Told you guys I had something that would be HUGE!

[tahthetrickster]

unbelievable that its 4/20 and absolutely nobody has put the objectively best rage comic on my dash yet. i have to do everything around here

[fatgrowlithe]

runner up

[zzoupz]

this probably doesn't count as a rage comic but its up there

[fourteenth-ascian]

happy 4/20

[argumate]

this is an act of war against the menswear guy for sure

[sillytally]

“I like your shoelaces.”

(Pained look) “yeah.. thanks, the president gave them to me..”

[argumate]

damn how did I miss this one

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I'd suspect he was humiliating them on purpose if I thought he was smart enough

[the-big-mood]

Manage your very own video store in the early 90s! Rent, sell, decorate and expand your business from the ground up and relive the golden ag

[throwbackblr]

[ruinedchildhood]

[misscromwellsmonocle]

The New American Gothic (2017) by Criselda Vasquez

[gracklesong]

From Criselda Vasquez's Instagram (3 April 2026):

Donate to Help Bring My Father Home from ICE Detention, organized by Jorge V

Hi everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read this. On Tuesday, March 31,… Jorge V needs your support for Help Bring My Father Home

[liquidstar]

it’s really frustrating how you have to wait like, 2 weeks before you can drink milk after you buy it. i know you gotta wait for the date on the bottle but like why cant the store just sell the milk thats ready?

[liquidstar]

[liquidstar]

It also indicates that I’m a guy now. It’s probably related to the milk somehow

[cheaphalloweencostume]

girl you need a shot of B12 i know. you. do.