An Open Secret @desolationofsmog - Tumblr Blog

mockva

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2

the-davest-of-uncles

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

gobloggirl

thepromiscuousfinger

itsmollynotmoya

Yeah, this is just how little girls are sometimes

animentality

aqueerkettleofish

IIRC, they had to terminate the project because the crows were attacking humans who were smoking cigarettes in order to get the "butt."

biglawbear

Let The Crows Force You To Quit Smoking

dogpuppy

tauforged

one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it

tauforged

this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.

unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.

she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.

^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act

malcolm-reeds-pineapple

Sesame Street posting techniques for comforting children during traumatic world events feels so fucking dystopian but here are the slides they posted just in case you or a loved one has any little critters at home right now

No one is doing well right now, but being a little critter right now has got to be terrifying. This is such a crushing series of images, especially considering PBS’s funding got slashed. While I’m happy Sesame Street continues to keep the wellbeing and education of children as a major priority, there’s a certain amount of innocence that Sesame Street represents and this is giving me such a visceral feeling rn

escuerzoresucitado

ectoimp

that muppet post reminded me, most if not all of the main muppets have twitter pages. Fav has gotta be Miss Piggys, which is filled with selfies and vaguely uplifting text thats also egocentric. all the comments are people complimenting her and being like “YAS QUEEN”

Close second is Gonzos. Which is just…unhinged

trupie

moth-grrrl-mavis

Gonzo, get on tumblr, girl, you have a home here.

imclimbingupthewalls

Clearly the whoever choreographed this for the Olympics has peak taste

dogpuppy

technofeudalism

The World War II-era "Simple Sabotage Field Manual" is full of steps that office workers can take to resist leadership.

A declassified World War II-era government guide to “simple sabotage” is currently one of the most popular open source books on the internet. The book, called “Simple Sabotage Field Manual,” was declassified in 2008 by the CIA and “describes ways to train normal people to be purposefully annoying telephone operators, dysfunctional train conductors, befuddling middle managers, blundering factory workers, unruly movie theater patrons, and so on. In other words, teaching people to do their jobs badly.” Over the last week, the guide has surged to become the 5th-most-accessed book on Project Gutenberg, an open source repository of free and public domain ebooks. It is also the fifth most popular ebook on the site over the last 30 days, having been accessed nearly 60,000 times over the last month (just behind Romeo and Juliet).

Link to the Guide at Project Gutenberg can be found here

A Wikisource entry can be found here.

Mirrors can be found here, here, here, here and here.

jnyfmg

proximity

your-url-is-problematic

hypokeimena

original image: four panel comic titled "Proximity" by @JNYMFG (op). Each is numbered in the corner, counting from 3 down to 0.

Panel #3 is yellow-toned, with an over-the-shoulder shot of a cheerful man reading the newspaper headline MORE WAR and thinking: "How awful... but I have my own problems!" Panel #2 is orange-toned, showing a distraught woman reading the same headline, and thinking: "But my husband has family there!" Panel #1 is red-toned, showing a pensive man reading the same headline, and thinking: "If I'd stayed, maybe I could have saved them." Panel #0 is entirely blacked out.

reblog image: photo of poem titled The Diameter of the Bomb. Poem reads:

The diameter of the bomb was thirty centimeters and the diameter of its effective range - about seven meters. And in it four dead and eleven wounded. And around them in a greater circle of pain and time are scattered two hospitals and one cemetery. But the young woman who was buried where she came from over a hundred kilometers away enlarges the circle greatly. And the lone man who weeps over her death in a far corner of a distant country includes the whole world in the circle. And I won't speak at all about the crying of orphans that reaches to the seat of God and from there onward, making the circle without end and without God.

Yehuda Amichai (translated from the Hebrew by Yehuda Amichai & Ted Hughes) /end ID