My banana is devolving. @devolvedbananas - Tumblr Blog

Things that happened at work today that makes me sure I’m living a goddamn fever dream (keep in mind I live in a religious and conservative town, and this is a thrift store)

Lady asked where we keep our valuable items and when I pointed at the glass shelves of assorted Xbox 1’s and old Apple watches she got mad because she thought we would have “discounted Gucci”

Coworker came out today and changed their name and my manager tried to page them to the front by their dead name, paused for two seconds, said “cancel [deadname]” and then called them up by their actual name. All seven gay employees including me cried so she panicked and bought us cookies from the vending machine

A guy legit proposed to his girlfriend in the store and my manager gave them half off the wedding dress they bought ten minutes later.

A guy came in absolutely zooted, asked if our floor supervisor was Bob Ross (tbf, Albert does kinda look like Bob Ross), cried over a little cow statue, and left

The coworker who came out asked the only cishet guy who works here to welcome them to the skater boys. He went over the store wide speaker and said “Sodern is a part of the skater boys. Everyone clap” it was followed by a good twenty seconds of confused clapping from customers.

Some guy told me I have “exotic eyes” (they’re blue), and I, apparently too tired to remember what customer service is or think about what I was saying, responded “thanks it’s the incest”

Someone called the fire department because they saw someone vaping. The fire department was very nice and all bought matching t-shirts on their way out.

Our speaker is apparently connected to Bluetooth.

All Star by Smash Mouth started playing at 8pm and looped on repeat for an hour.

killerkissed

What’s the mood for today?

suzieboozieblack

My friend sent me this

heartshapedbasil

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions

maplebungus-deactivated20221118

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

dadbodbobby

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

fuckdamn

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

ditzyalpaca

your man thinks putting caramel on onions is caramelizing them

lenbian-moved-deactivated202601

behind every girlboss is another, bigger girlboss

lenbian-moved-deactivated202601

they call this a pyramid scheme i think

bugpumpkin

I think they prefer the term mlm

pir8core

i think you're thinking of wlw

bugpumpkin

Wulti level warketing scheme

theyoungestwhateleydaughter-dea

good work, gals

peachvers

imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow

chandrar-nalaar

you have a beautiful imagination

iguanamouth

cultofplush

this gave me chills

lifeofcynch

HOLY SHIT

weaselle

first of all ^^^ I love this^^^

secondly, I’ve said it before, but

this is exactly what the Old World was. Off shore there was Ocean, and inland there was Forrest

Here’s an Old World tree still surviving in a modern forrest of “large” trees

That’s just what trees used to be like.

And wandering among those trees, one might have encountered, yes, deer larger than a modern moose, but also, depending on what year, pigs bigger than grizzly bears, beavers the size of modern wolves, ground sloths the size of modern elephants, and bears nearly that big. Not to mention the insects and snakes and shit.

I could keep going, like, you might have crossed paths with a whole herd of these

or a family of these.

Like, 29,000 years ago, the last of the Neanderthal had just died out. Humans and this thing definitely lived at the same time.

And they didn’t live in the Forest, but there is one ice age creature that’s still alive, if you want to see what life was like back in the day. We used to think the Musk Ox was a type of bovine, or cow, which is how it got it’s name. BUT. See this?

that, my friends, is an ice age GOAT. That’s right, that’s a 900 pound GOAT. Here, take another look

anyway, yeah, the wild used to be a lot more Wild. Old Forest was definitely the inland equivalent of Ocean, and everything back in the day was turnt the fuck UP

such-justice-wow

This post was made by someone’s genetic memory of those scary fuckers

blurrymango

Can god please rerelease the Old Forest again

hayaosmiyazaki

FASHION IN HEATHERS (1988) 🌹🗡 Costume design by Rudy Dillon

captainsblogsupplemental

So, it’s pretty much canon that Guinan and Riker happened at least once, right?

somewhereinthedetails217

To this day, this is still the fucking smoothest back and forth I’ve ever whitnesed.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

I love how Guinan here is just like “Wesley back to your corner” when he tries to interrupt this flirt-off <3

take-my-eeveelution

Wesley: Weren’t you guys supposed to be helping me?

Guinan: Take several seats.

morganoperandi

I’m a cis-gender man which basically means that, when I was born, the doctor went “It’s a boy!” and when I was old enough to understand I agreed with him.

The thing is, I don’t know why I feel like a man. I was teased and bullied for it a lot when I was little. I’ve never had stereotypically American male interests. I never cared about sports or cars or guns. I was more interested in music and cooking and the arts. I’ve always been emotionally in tune and sensitive, even when I did my best to suppress my emotions to survive a childhood of abuse from other children.

It’s not physical either. I don’t feel like a man because I have a penis or a beard. If you put my brain in a robot body or any other body, my essence would still feel male (I assume). I literally can’t imagine what being any other gender would feel like, since I feel so acutely male.

I think that’s why the concept of being transgender always made sense to me. I’m a man. I don’t have any bloody clue why I feel like a man, but I don’t feel that it’s tied to my body or my interests or the way that I’ve been treated. I feel like a man because of something beyond that. Something ephemeral. So, why couldn’t others feel the same? Why couldn’t a person who’s been misidentified as a girl feel like a boy for the exact same nebulous reasons that I do?

And, since gender really doesn’t make any sense to me anyway, why couldn’t there also be people who feel as if they don’t have one? Or who flow across genders like a ship on a map?

Are there people out there whose sense of their own gender is inseparable from their physical form? If you put those people into robot bodies or, simply, other physically different bodies, would their gender identity also swap? If so, why? Are they actually more lost in their gender identity than I am and they need to hone in on the physical in order to anchor themselves?

Why do people feel like they are the gender that they are?

sir-renaissance

This is very soul filling to read. Thank you

5typesoftrash

My grandfather, who had a difficult time coming to terms with it when I came out, has been working very hard to understand me and my experience. About 5 weeks ago, he asked me, almost offhand, “why are you so sure that you’re a man?”

And I replied, “well, I could ask you the same thing.” And I moved on, continued, tried to explain why I feel the way that I do, but I don’t think he heard any of those things that I said afterward.

Because six days later, we talked about it again, and this is what he told me:

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said last week. Because all my life I identified it as ‘these are the parts that I have, and so I am a man’. But you’re living proof that gender is not limited to what is attached to your body, so I asked myself, why am I a man? And all I can say is ‘because I have no idea what it feels like to be anything else’. I cannot imagine what it’s like to be a woman. Or neither, or both, or any other gender. I have always been a man.”

And I replied, “that’s exactly what it feels like for me.”

So, shoutout to my cisgender grandfather, for stumbling upon the essence of being trans accidentally, with very little help from me. I love you, grandpa.

the-cimmerians

watching cis folks suddenly and comprehensively grasp the inessential nature of gender is always a joy

susiephone

get rekt, mr. collins

seiphirai

A Surprise Pride and Prejudice Engagement

(Note: This isn’t me)

thestraggletag

See? This is a tailor-made proposal. Not some “big screen of basketball game nonsense. This person took into account his girlfriend’s pastimes and favourite things in the world, knew how close to the family she was and engineered the perfect engagement proposal, without a doubt managing to make sure this would please her (surely her mother and sisters would know).

This is how you do big gestures.

bead-bead-deactivated20190901

This is so awesome I can’t even.

Also, the look on her face as she came into the house. Hehehehehehe!

ourladyoflace

STILL THE MOST ADORABLE THING EVER

cricketcat9

Wow! So impressed with Mr.Darcy and the whole family! <3

susiephone

need me a freak like that

thebootydiaries

You: Burger King

Me, an intellectual: Monarch of Hamburg

fakeblack

“You. Come. Here.”

“M-Me?”

75orchids

FACT:

Usage of the word “The” has begun to decline. This is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “Thoum’st” has become more common.

piamond dickaxe

wait

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

CALLOUT POST FOR FUCKING EURIPIDES

deadpanwalking

notallmensheviks

did classical athens do something problematic

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated

I so desperately wish I could physically stop you fucking people from using the internet.

dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20

That said, has the answer to the question “did classical Athens do something problematic” ever, in all its history and all subsequent discussion, been “no?”