Letters that'll never be read
Neglected! Meta! Reader x Bat Family (Chapter 3) Inspired by Ode ti amo by the Amazing @itheunknown TW: Mentions of death and violence, prescribed drug use, vaping, ooc(?) writing :p
Jason had come home a few days ago, it was as awkward as you’d expected it to be. He came through the doors, duffle bag slung over his shoulder and an easy smile on his face. The whole family was there to greet him. Bruce had said it would be nice to have everyone there to greet him, which was code for, you have to be there when he gets there, otherwise we’ll have another problem. Even Stephine and Barbara showed up to see him. You stood on the outskirts, near enough to the service stairs for it to be unnoticeable when you slip away, not wanting to ruin the reunion by being the outsider.
Richard and Tim were the first to greet him, sweeping the man into a hug. Laughter filled the air as Duke joined them, flanked by Stephine and Cassandra; she was even smiling, you don’t think you’d ever seen her smile before. Damian walked up to the group. He smirked as he said something you couldn’t hear, before Jason grabbed him and pulled him into a noggie. You chuckled to yourself lightly, enjoying the image of Damian being embarrassed in even the lightest of ways.
(You wondered if they’d ever treat you like that. If you’d open that grand door and see spread arms and smiling faces, you knew that’d never happen, but you couldn’t help but enjoy the image of a real family, of a real home. You pushed the image down; it’d never happen, these people would never see you as one of their own. You don’t even know them well enough to properly imagine their reactions, but still, you wish you did.)
Bruce tilted his head slightly to look at you, a weary smile on his face as he gestured for you to join him as he walked over to Jason. You desperately wanted not to, to slink off before you ruined this, but your father wasn’t one to bend, so on you went, to give your awkward greeting to the man you’d met about 3 times maybe? Bruce approached first, Jason stopped whatever conversation he had as he saidy him. He didn’t say anything initially, only staring at Jason, as if he’d disappear at any moment.
He extended his hand, “It’s good to have you home, Jason.” The room fell silent, like everyone was holding their breath. Jason grabbed his hand, pulling him into a hug before exhaling the words, “It’s good to be home,” and all of a sudden, the room felt lighter, like something had been lifted and the room could finally breathe. You didn’t know why, but you smiled. Then it was your turn, and then you wanted to disappear, have the floor swallow you whole just so you didn’t ruin the mood. Bruce looked to you, as if trying to reassure you, but you felt everyone else's half grimaces, their glances to each other, their slight revulsion at your presence. But still, you took a step forward into the herd and clasped your hands together.
“Good to see you, Jason. It’s been a while.” You smiled at him, trying to sound as normal as possible. You expected a quick acknowledgement, a hum of approval, or something like that, then you’d slink off just like before. What you didn’t expect was to be pulled into a hug. Jason’s smile was just as warm as his hug, as you stiffened in his arms. It was nice, really; you felt yourself lean into the embrace.
“It’s good to see you, too, sis!” He said. And just as fast as it appeared, the hug ended, and the Wayne family slowly worked their way back into a circle, surrounding Jason, talking with him, laughing. You felt yourself being pushed away from them, being removed. You looked to Jason or to Bruce, to see if they’d pull you back in, to see if they cared if you left. No such move happened, and you took your cue to leave.
You slinked up the stairs, pushing open your door, and crumpled into your bed. Curling up in the blankets, you pulled out your phone. You planned to spend the evening doomscrolling yourself into emotional numbness. You thought about going down for dinner, but you’d probably ruin the mood. Family dinners never really went well when you were involved.
Most divulged into Damian insulting you, followed by awkward silence from everyone else. No one would even notice you weren’t there, which is why hiding in your room worked out so well. This is also why you were so surprised when Alfred asked you to go downstairs for dinner, that Jason had specifically asked you to join them.
You were confused, you had no idea why Jason wanted you to join. You weren’t particularly close with him. He was never really at the manor, at least when you moved in, and you thought he was dead.
Well, you guessed you were wrong after he came to the Manor, screaming and fighting with Bruce. But before that, you could’ve sworn he had a headstone in the Wayne private lot. But rich people were weird. Maybe Bruce had put a headstone in to represent that Jason was ‘dead’ to him.
(The lot was a place you had begrudgingly visited with Bruce during one of his attempts to bond with you in the early days. He thought he could share his own experiences with loss as a way to get you to open up to him. It… didn’t work. You’d visit the lot more after Bruce buried your uncle there. He’d put in a headstone for your mom, too, after you asked him to. ‘Nicholas and Evelyn Moonie,’ ‘Together in life, Together in death’.)
Jason was always fighting with Bruce, or Richard, especially with Tim. He was weirdly close to Damian when he moved in to the Manor. But then he was gone again. Disappearing for years before occasionally popping back in to their lives. Your interactions with him were small to say the least. An angry glance your way. A shove in a corridor. Nothing to make him like you.
(A plate pushed across a table late at night. A face looking for pity but finding none.)
So you didn’t know what to think as you and Alfred descended the staircase together. Your heart hammered away in your chest. You smoothed out your shirt about three times and kept patting your hair to make sure it looked good. You didn’t know why you cared so much, you shouldn’t care so much.
You hardly knew Jason, hell you hardly knew anyone in the Manor, but still, this felt… you couldn’t find the word… exciting? threatening?
Alfred smiled warmly at you as you two entered the dining room together. Everyone was talking and laughing as you came in, no one noticed your arrival, a small courtesy as you don’t think you could’ve handled everyone in the rooms attention on you. Even thinking about it gave you the chills. You took a seat next to Barbara at the empty foot of the table. At the head was Bruce, flanked by Grayson and Jason. Next to them were Tim and Damian, followed by Duke, Stephanie, Cass, Barbara, and then you.
You were both grateful for your seat and a little sad that you weren’t in the middle. You wanted to be surrounded by family, surrounded by people who wanted you, but that wasn’t what you had so it’s better to be on the outskirts, to be at the farthest possible seat.
Conversations were flowing all around you, Stephanine, Duke and Tim all debating about whether it was better to drink espresso or redbull. Jason had Grayson and Bruce all listening in to hear about what he’s been up to for the past month.
Cass leaned in to Stephanie, and Barbra was laughing at whatever Duke had said. Damian was… well, Damian was staring daggers at you, but that was expected at this point.
As you settled down, Barbara turned to look at you, your name tumbling slightly awkwardly from her mouth. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
Okay, don’t freak out; you need to be normal; this is it; converse like a normal fucking person, and don’t make anything more awkward than it already is.
“It really has been too long.” You try to smile in a way that isn’t off-putting or creepy… You aren’t sure if you pull it off, but Barbara only seems half put off, so you take it as good enough.
“So how is it at the ol’ stoping grounds? God, I haven’t been to Gotham Academy in years. Tell me all about it!”
How do you even answer that question? Oh, you know I couldn’t even tell you, since if I’m not skipping, I’m being violently ridiculed or getting high in the bathrooms.
“Well, you know, school's good.” Is what you decide on.
“Oh, that’s good!”
A beat between you two passes, then another, and another, and anoth-
“So, how’s Professor McLaughlin? I remember how much I hated him when I had to take his Calculus Two class.”
CALCULUS TWO? There’s a SECOND Calculus?
You chuckled nervously, voice bobbing in your throat, “Oh well- I haven’t had the opportunity, you know? I mean, right now I’m just taking-”
“She’s taking pre-calculus; she never has and never will take Calculus, let alone Calculus 2. She’s a senior and is still taking entry-level math. I heard that even with that, she’s still struggling, so there’s no reason to talk to her. Barbara, you won’t find an intellectual equal there. You won’t even find the mildest drop of intelligence coming from her; all the courses she’s taking as a senior are ones everyone here already finished before their Sophomore year.” Damian said. You felt your face flush and focused squarely on your plate. The table grew quiet, all silencing as Damian spoke.
You wished you could just melt into the floor; it wasn’t your fault that your family was filled with geniuses. You were taking some pretty advanced classes- I mean, Biochem was pretty difficult, and your AP Lit teacher said you had some of the best analysis essays she’d seen in the year. But it’s true: you’d never compare to your family; they were all just above your level; in some way, they’d always just be better than you.
You felt your face grow hot and your mouth twist and that specific sharp pain in your eye that is the telltale sign that you’re about to- NO. You will not cry. This will not be what makes you cry. HE will not be what makes you cry; you’ve heard worse; he’s told you worse.
So why? Why is this getting to you?
You sneak a sideways look out to the table, you hope not to catch anyone's eye, but you see a few, Barbra, Duke, Dick had spared you a look before glancing back to his sparkling water, Damian… was of course staring, glowing with his victory. You looked to the man you for some reason you wanted to look at the least, Jason.
Jason wasn’t here often; he was untouched by your own mediocrity; he even brought you back into the fold. You didn’t want that ruined; you most of all didn’t want Damian to break this daydream you were living, adding just one more person to the pile of people who’d already forgotten you exist.
You didn’t want to see how he looked at you, didn’t want to see the pity mixed with realization and awkward discomfort with what to say… You glanced up anyways.
There he was, eyes wide with shock, before he broke into a smile and pulled Damian into a Noogie…? Of all the things, you hadn’t expected that.
This is what snaps you out of your soon-to-be sobbing as you watched as he pulled at Damian, much to the boy’s chagrin, and playfully mess with him.
“You seriously don’t have one nice bone in your body, do you? You can say all that, but you can’t even give me a good morning? Get your priorities straight, dude!” He released Damian from his grasp, and he fell back into his chair. He looks you dead in the eye, and you feel yourself tense (Barbra and Duke tense with you).
“Hey, while I’m here, I’ll make sure to beat the shit outta ‘em if he ever starts acting up, okay?”
He holds your gaze, smiling brightly and slightly flexing his muscles. A laugh bubbles up in your gut, and you don’t pull it back; it’s the first laugh you’ve had in weeks; it’s the first laugh several people at the table have ever heard from you.
As you laugh, the table laughs with you, even Damian, who seconds ago was sputtering defenses of ‘everything I’m saying is true!’ and ‘I’m simply reminding her of her place’.
That all seems so distant now as he laughs with his family, as your laugh becomes theres, as you fall back into your silence with a smile on your face and the conversation goes back to flowing and he can’t seem to find his hatred for you again.
You go back to just being an observer, but this time the silence feels warmer, like you were included in the conversation now.
It felt nice…
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I'M SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG! But during the 8-month-long break I was in college, Deltarune chapter 5 came out, I was in more college... I HAVE EXCUSES! Hopefully this chapter is long enough to keep you satiated! I fucked up by making chapter two 3,000 WORDS LONG!! My interests fluctuated in college, but I AM LOCKED IN! I HAVE MADE A PIN BOARD AND A LIST. THIS FIC IS GETTING FINISHED!!
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