I’m not comfortable with sharing my name on here, so i’ll be going by distort!! I’m an 18 y/o writer who’s always had a passion for literature and reading. I’m in a very happy relationship, in which I get some inspo from in some of my poetic pieces.
I’m a christian and I love helping people whenever and however i can. So i hope i can make some mutuals on here!!
➤ 𝑀𝑌 𝐶𝑂𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑁𝑇 :
I love writing poetic pieces and expressing my creativity through short stories and quotes.
There will be some distubring content along the line, but i will make sure to put a TW at the top of each post if i feel like it needs it!! And if i missed anything you feel needs to be labeled, feel free to tell me.
You are more than welcome to request a piece; poetic, dialogue, quotes, or even short stories, i’m happy to try and bring your ideas into fruition.
➤ 𝐵𝑂𝑈𝑁𝐷𝐴𝑅𝐼𝐸𝑆 :
While i’m willing to bring awareness to more pressing topics like SA, and toxic and/or abusive relationships, i will not tolerate the romanticisation of such. BookTok especially has made it a disturbing normalisation to romanticise abusive-like relationships and smut that borders rape.
Adding to that, I will not be writing smut due to my own unease around it, but i don’t shame anyone who enjoys reading that.
Constructive criticism is welcome, and very encouraged!! I love to grow and i haven’t had any exposure with my work with people i know. As long as it is respectful, i will take it!
➤ 𝐶𝑅𝐸𝐷𝐼𝑇 :
You are more than welcome to repost my work on any platform. I only ask that you credit me.
I strive to keep my work authentic and create my own emotion-invoking, creative pieces. If it is not mine, it will be listed as such.
All photos I post are not mine unless stated otherwise. I download all of them from pinterest.
And when the world fails you and everything seems to not go your way, find it in yourself to walk back into God’s arms, for His love is not burdensome nor heavy.
In case someone hasn’t told you this yet; it’s not worth the energy. Don’t give people energy at the cost of your own. Love and forgive, but do not dwell in places of anguish and bitterness. Leave if you are unwanted.
“You’re cute,” the guy at the bar drunkenly cooed.
She strained to smile, feeling the insincerity oozing off of his potent breath. Why was she there, anyway? There was no benefit. Her friend had begged and begged until it became irritating and she caved.
Soon, the man got distracted with the pretty bartender and she breathed out in relief. The music was too loud, the air was a mix of sweat and alcohol; it overwhelmed her senses.
She left through the door of the establishment and sat on one of the damp steps, wondering what she was doing with her life.
Compliments from drunk strangers, lust-filled eyes of men who dreamed to take her home—it was sickening.
Why was she easy to compliment and entertain intoxicated, but hard to love sober?
How I think a character losing their magic / power would feel like.
Whether your character has acquired this power, or had been born with it, the results are typically the same when you lose said power.
In my opinion, losing your power would be like losing a part of yourself. The power has wedged its way into the characters making, and now it’s gone—dead. A hole is left in its wake and it aches.
Your character is going to be disoriented at the change. It’s different, too different. They’re going to miss the feeling of using their power, they’re going to try and use it again just to make sure.
Their identity has made a complete 180. From being known as someone with their power, to being known as the one who lost theirs.
It’s like losing someone you know, hollowing. Stuck in a loop of denial and making delusional reason. Maybe they think it’s a terrible nightmare. Because surely, this wouldn’t happen to someone like them? They did good with their power—so why is it being taken from them?
When I think of loss of power, I think of blank stares, pitying glances, others navigating around eggshells and not mentioning anything close to their own powers or magic, staring at a wall for long periods of time, and mundane tasks to avoid the startling realisation that this reality is true.
As acceptance readily comes through, life is different but slowly becoming the normal for the character.
They’re going to forget sometimes that they lost their power, and try and use it in the way they used to—only to feel their shoulders slump when nothing happens and that they really did, in fact, lose their power.
So this is sort of my take around this sort of concept. As much as I hate the loss of power trope, this is for anyone who wants to add this into their writing. If this helps, great!!
Here are some of my ideas when it comes to different ice powers. Of course, as you can see, I’m not very good at creating names for said powers, but hey! What can you do? Feel free to let this inspire you or use for an OC.
༘⋆ Frost — the ability to create frost and, therefore, make the temperature drop and slowly freeze anything that the character touches.
༘⋆ Ice Craft — able to create things out of ice. Weapons, imitations of other inanimate objects. Said objects melt at an increased rate once detached from the user.
༘⋆ Temp — being able to raise or drop the temperatures to extreme levels. Make it so cold that the characters opponent freezes up and stumbles. Heat it so that the opponent bends at the waist to gasp for air as sweat trickles down their spine and makes them think irrationally.
༘⋆ Block of Ice — freezing your body into a literally block of ice. Either parts of the body or entirely. Being frozen over completely renders the character immobile, but a way to combat this is to leave the joints of the character unfrozen.
༘⋆ Domain — a large dome of ice rises from the ground, as big or as small as the character wants it to be, trapping them and their opponent or just their opponent.
༘⋆ Crystallised — anything the character touches turns to crystallised ice. People, objects, animals. If not careful and kept under control the character could crystallise the surrounding area under intense emotions and stress.
༘⋆ Ice Shards — create and manipulate shards of ice with a telekinetic force.
༘⋆ Shatter — turn anything to ice and shatter it out of existence.
༘⋆ Cold Vine — thorny vines made of ice sprout out from the ground or from the user. It can bind, invade the flesh with pencil tip thin appendages.
༘⋆ Cold Delirium — a power that only affects the human brain, using an almost lethally cold temperature to slow down their brain activity and therefore their movements and logical thinking.
༘⋆ Ice Manipulation — create and manipulate ice or turn water to ice and manipulate that.
༘⋆ Frozen Guardian — create a large creature made out of ice, snow, or crystal, with its sole intention to protect the user and fight for them at their demand.
Obviously, depression is a serious topic. Incorporating it in your writing can be easy, but it also is just as easily misinterpreted and spread in the wrong way.
I’ve had a lot of experience dealing with my own depression and being there for a friend during her time dealing with it as well. While I’m no professional, and this is entirely based on my own experience and from what I’ve seen, I hope this helps share a bit of awareness in your writing journey.
TW for depression and everything following.
ᝰ.ᐟ MOTIVATION
Prominently, motivation is one of the first things that slowly start to deteriorate. It starts with not wanting to get out of bed and do your morning routine, sacrificing that peace for a little longer sleep. Then it starts to grow into skipping a night of brushing your teeth, then two. Next it will be skipping meals because it just feels like too much of an effort. Basic hygiene becomes too much effort. Days without a shower, hair greasy, skin unknowing what to do with itself, a smell starting to stain the air. It is an untouched and villainised aspect—but it’s true for many. Without the motivation to live, is it so hard to believe going days without a shower is out of the question?
ᝰ.ᐟ OVERVIEW
Of course, depression dwells and feasts within the mind. It sucks all sense of happiness out of you and steals the joy in everything you used to love. Maybe you had a hobby that you really enjoyed? Well, you don’t enjoy it anymore. By definition, depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. It’s also referred to as major depressive disorder or clinical depression. The sadness is like a looming cloud, a sentient being that tracks your every move with one of its own and urges you to give up. It’s a whisper in your mind and a cruel laugh as you swirl into the dark, inky depths of your mind. Its plan is to ruin you, reduce you into nothing but a shell of yourself. For the most part, it works. There’s no fighting it, or so it feels like.
There are many ways to describe the effects of depression. An empty feeling in your chest, a hollowness that can never be filled, persistent sadness, an anxious feeling, hopelessness, irritability, frustration, anger. Being depressed isn’t just being sad, it shortens your temper. Your tolerance for irritable situations is at an all-time low.
In my experience, I struggled with anxiety. I had gone through a long traumatic period previously, which resulted with a deep-rooted fear of leaving the house. I would fear to see that person out in public and be brought to the place of my trauma—which is also signs of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). My point is, depending on your characters situation, what they went through, whether it be childhood trauma or recent, the situation is always going to be different. Depression can’t be confined to a solidified definition or criteria. Similarities? yes. Exact? No. Your characters can react differently to trauma. Some might close up, some might try and busy themselves, some might be chained to the barriers of their mind and stuck in a loophole.
There is a constant drainage. A lack of joy, a lack of motivation, sleep is hardly your friend most nights. Insomnia is a common occurrence, nightmares and restless nights too.
In reality, the wrong people get bored of seeing you in the same cycle. They grow annoyed that you aren’t getting better—write it. Write the observing characters growing tired of coddling a hollow person, of feeling sorry for them. Then write the character facing depression express their annoyances with their issue in turn. If the people around you are tired of it—there’s a solid chance that the character is much more frustrated with themselves than anyone else.
Questioning existence—it starts small. Really, it does, it starts as a simple “why am I here?” It only spirals from there. Questioning your existence leads to suicidal thoughts, sometimes even taking action upon those thoughts. It’s invasive, possessive, and cruel. You can’t control it, but you’ll come to wish you could.
ᝰ.ᐟ SYMPTOMS
Sadness, tearfulness, a sense of hopelessness.
Loss of motivation, lack of joy and pleasure in daily activities.
Dissociating, stuck in your own thoughts, daydreaming.
Restless sleeping, lack of sleep, insomnia, or sleeping too much.
Suicidal thoughts, putting yourself in risky situations.
A loss of appetite or an insatiable craving for food.
Avoiding others, self isolating, staying in their safe space.
Deteriorating hygiene.
Irritability, frustration, snapping at even small issues.
Self blame, feeling of worthlessness, guilt.
Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements.
Depression isn’t short-term, it requires ongoing treatment. If you’re thinking of making your character depressed just to be more ‘complex’, I’d advise against it. Earlier I said that it is easily incorporated, while that is true, more likely than not it’s written wrong. A depressed heroine isn’t going to have the motivation to save the world, so think carefully about how or if you want to continue with the choice of making your character depressed if you’re not ready to commit to the finer details.
ᝰ.ᐟ DEPRESSION IN CHILDREN + TEENS
Symptoms in children and teens are similar to those in adults, but they have their own differences. I suppose the main reason for these differences will be because of their age and maturity range, being dependent on their parents (in most cases), ect.
In younger children, symptoms include: sadness, irritability, clinginess, worry, unexplainable aches and pains, refusal to attend school, lack of energy or effort, not enjoying the things they used to, sleep and eating changes—eating too much or too little.
A child may not have any explainable cause to be depressed, they may just be more sensitive to the effects of it. Maybe someone in their family has faced with depression or continues to?
Kids go through stressful things. They may experience loss, trauma, and experience anxiety. Grievances can lead to depression.
They may have random stomach aches or pains, headaches and a sense of drowsiness—even while not necessarily sick.
It’s common to feel upset and be sad, but it becomes a worry when this sadness prolongs into weeks.
Kids may become overly critical with themselves.
In teenagers, it’s similar. Sadness, irritability, feeling worthless or overly negative, loss of motivation to do daily tasks, eating too little or too much, anger, poor attendance or poor performance at school, feeling unheard and misunderstood, extremely sensitive, and self-harm.
It will be believed that no one understands how you feel, especially in the time of being a teenager. Your hormones are already up and down, mood swings are a common occurrence, so you have a hatred towards the world. No one would be able to understand how you feel.
As a teenager that had depression for seven years, I was bitter and prone to envy. I believed no one would be able to help me, I also swore to help myself because no one else could do it.
Teenagers will take it upon themselves if the environment they’re in causes for it. Or maybe they won’t be able to and just fester in their own mind. There are two types, those who want to help themselves and get out of their own mind, or those who can’t and don’t want to. I was a mixture of both.
Most parents will just blame it on being a teenager, that there isn’t really anything wrong with their child. My mother blamed my increased need for sleep on the bodily changes I was going through.
ᝰ.ᐟ DEPRESSION IN ADULTS
Unlike what you may think, depression is not a part of growing up.
Depression in adults is more unlikely to go undiagnosed and untreated. They might be reluctant to seek that help, too.
The symptoms are relatively similar to those in teenagers, but they have more unnoticeable and subtle symptoms that might not be easily spotted.
Memory difficulties, struggling to remember details about their day or recalling things that happened a few days ago.
Physical aches or pains. Back aches, stomach aches, headaches, all unexplainable and likely at random.
Fatigue, lack of appetite, sleep problems or loss of interest in the pleasures of life—not caused by a medical condition or medications.
More often than not wanting to stay at home, rather than going out to socialise and try new things.
Suicidal thinking and feelings, especially in older men.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ I hope this helps someone in their writing. As I said previously, if you’re not committed to the finer details, rethink if it’s a good idea to add it in. This is meant to spread awareness, share thoughts and my own experiences, and educate people who are thinking of writing a depressed character in their story.
I confuse people. i have a happy personality and a sad soul. i'm bold but shy. i love deeply but sometimes i feel heartless. i'm healing and hurting at the same time. i'm dedicated to growth, but i self sabotage
“I didn’t ask for your help, I don’t need your help, matter of fact—why are you even here?!”
”Why can’t you just stay away like I asked?”
”You make things a lot harder than they need to be, you know?”
”I want to feel the love you say you have for me—where is it? I don’t see it, I don’t feel it, is it even there or are you playing me like everyone else?”
”Please.. just stop.”
”I don’t understand you. You put on this act, you pretend like you’re okay, but I see it more than anyone. You’re breaking and you don’t know what to do with yourself.”
”Don’t lie to me.”
”Was it worth it?”
”Please, don’t hurt me more than you already have.”
”I am not fragile! You walk on eggshells around me and expect me not to notice?? The glances between each of you, the hesitation—I see it all! And I hate it!”
”I’m not your pet, you don’t control me. I can do what I want. Do you know how freeing it is to realise I don’t have to go to you for everything?”
”There was a time where I begged to be treated with respect, I will never go back there.”
”In exchange for what? What are you sacrificing that could possibly be worth it?”
”Don’t leave me.” “You know I can’t stay.”
“Please—I know I’m broken, I know I’m damaged, I know I’m not worth a lot—“ “And this is my problem with you! You can never be kind to yourself, can you?”
”You took everything from me.” “And I enjoyed doing so.”
”When will the hurt stop?”
”I only wanted you to love me.”
”You’re insane if you believe I’m going to give up on them.” “But it seems they’ve already given up on you.”
”I’ve tried. Really, I have, but you don’t want the help—so I’m done. I wanted to help you, to see you get better, but I’m not sticking around to watch you destroy yourself.”
”Oh, give it up! You are a pathetic excuse of the person I first met.”
”I stopped believing you would save me a long time ago.”
”How do I know what love is when I never even got it from my parents?”
”You don’t scare me.” “Oh you poor thing, I can see you trembling in your skin.”
”Give up on me.”
“I loved you, a long time ago.”
”I’m not ready to have this conversation.”
”I don’t wanna see you.”
”You hurt me, tear into me until I’m exposed, and you want me to forgive you?”
”I want the best for you, but I don’t want to see it.”
”I’m broken. You broke me.”
”I don’t wanna die.”
”I did everything for you! I did everything you asked of me, I did my best—“ “It wasn’t enough.”
”Maybe if you tried harder, they would still be alive.”
”Your judgement is clouded.” “It’s not—“ “Your love will blind you, believe me. It’s ironic how similar we are.”
”Leave me—I’m only gonna slow you down.” “No way! That’s not an option right now.”
”Have a good time finding peace knowing that I died in your arms hating you”
”It wasn’t your fault.” “You can’t possibly say that.” “I know what they would have wanted, and I know that not wanting you to blame yourself is up there.”
”Give me a break.” “The only break you will get is when you’re dead!”
”I just want my mother to love me.”
”Why did it have to be you?”
”Don’t give up on me.”
”They were right about you.”
”You want someone to love you but you can’t even love yourself. How is that meant to work?”
”Cut the bullshit! You are wasting away in a sea of regret, shame, and self-loathing that you are starting to lack everywhere else. You don’t have the privilege to grieve, not now and definitely not here.”
”How can I hate you when I see parts of myself in your soul?”
”I was kind once. I didn’t have this everlasting hatred towards the world as I do now. Shocking, right?”
”They died because of me, nothing can change that.”
”What else do you want from me? I have already given you everything I am.”
”I wish you would look at me like you look at them.”
Walking side by side, the back of their fingers brushing—too shy to initiate hand-holding.
Teasing the tips of person B’s hair between their fingers, watching their fingers, unable to meet B’s gaze.
Subtle acts of service: opening a door for them, covering cornered edges when the other bends down to pick something up, purchasing something of the other’s interest.
”You look—uh, good. You look good.” Stammering, trying to appear confident when complimenting the other. Cue the throat clearing and avoidance of eye-contact.
Hesitant smiles and blushy cheeks.
Person A about to say something before thinking against it and closing their mouth.
Agonising slow-paced romance.
Person B sticking by person A’s side while they’re sick and stuck to bed rest, despite A’s warning of getting them sick too.
Thoughtful picnic dates.
Almost confessions.
”I care about you, and I want the best for you.”
Friends to lovers.
Looking for each other in social settings.
“You mean more to me than that.”
”Come on, we’re friends.” “Are we really?”
Angsty confessions after built up feelings being hidden.
Everyone can see it but them.
“We’re just friends!” “With how B is looking at you now? I don’t think you’re just friends.”
Starry night skies, damp grass, and deep talks about life.
B learning about A’s body insecurities and finding that it’s their favourite part of them.
Love-fuelled kisses under whispering nights.
So deeply in love that it almost makes their friends uncomfortable to witness.
Feathery forehead kisses.
Neither of them raise their voice—a love so gentle and kind that it makes your teeth rot.
Either one has social anxiety and the other orders for them at cafes and restaurants, or both of them do and one disregards their own anxiety and steps up.
“I am the one risking it all,” She hissed. A rage unlike any other swirling behind her bitter eyes. A beauty drowned in sorrow and anguish, a burning star diminished from the coldness of the world.
He stood, unmoving in case of angering her further. She was like a predator cornered, ready to lunge at the simplest move in the wrong direction. Breathing felt risky.
“I never asked you to.” The hesitancy and softness made her bare her teeth, eyes ripping him apart until there was nothing left of him.
A cruel scoff, “you never asked me to? You never had to. We were friends, and friends stuck their neck out for each other—you.. you stayed on your pretty little pedestal and watched as they laughed at me, ripped me apart and jeered. You left me to the wolves and turned your back on me!”
He stared, pity in his eyes. “You thought we were friends?”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh be serious for once, where were you?”
She clasped her hands behind her back and looked anywhere but him. “I found a cow farm that offered therapeutic cow hugs for free, time passed too quickly.”
