Doing my BEST

He/Him- Gay- Fandom Garbage- Pokémon

[distractionarydiva-blog]

hi im alive probably

[skeletonfather]

heres a cake to all my followers who somehow manage to put up with me

[theweirdwideweb]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

when Junkrat kills an enemy Roadhog and it triggers the “who’s on top now?” voice line. there’s no heterosexual explanation for that

[iwilleatyourenglish]

this voice line was deemed inappropriate and not included in the Russian translation of the game

[cheaphalloweencostume]

there is no heterosexual explanation for that

[distractionarydiva-blog]

old person: i need you to go to this place

me: ok just give me the name of the place or the address and i can find it no problem

old person: you go down the road for exactly 9 intersections and turn left

me: the address

old person: you're gonna go down that road for about the length of six football fields until you come to a grey building, turn there

me: the address

old person: that'll take you into the woods, you're gonna want to take a turn at every elm tree you see-- i trust you know how to identify elms

me: address

old person: by then you will have reached the gnome encampment, their chief will give you a lantern that will help you on your quest, but only after you help him find his magic beans,

[sagihairius]

i work as an actor at a haunted house and this little girl who was dressed as a cat came through she saw me and was like “no thank you please dont get closer i am already scared” and i was like alright i appreciate the good manners ill back off. so her dad picks her up and starts going down the rest of my dark hall and i just hear her yell “everybody wait! i dropped my ears” so i find them and give them to her dad and she goes “thank you but i hope i never see you again goodbye” and waved over her dads shoulder. i waved back and she gave me a thumbs up. honestly this kid has a lot of guts props for being so polite when shes terrified i hope she gets a lot of candy this year

[mj-spooks]

Kids are honestly one of my favorite things about working in a haunt

I had a dad come through with his two boys every single year, first year they were probably about four and six, and every year they’d come around all the corners looking for the actors waving excitedly and yelling ‘Hi!’ super happy to everyone. I scared them once the second year and the younger boy says ‘You scared me!’ and pouted at me, then waved and said ‘hi!’ like he always did, older brother inspects me for a second and smiles big as you please and tells me he remembers me, ‘you’re the scary table lady with the sparky thing!’ (which had been my position the year before, I was set up with an old torture-rack and a spark wand to grind on the grates)

Had another family come through, egging their poor kid on, he was terrified, they were trying to make him have a good time but only making it worse. I didn’t bother to try and ‘scare’ them, I got out in the hall plain as day and waited for them to push him towards me (which I knew they would do). Once he was close I grinned and said “If you let me have one of them, you can go free.” This child. This sweet, precious child. Gives me the biggest, widest eyes ever, then grabs his mother(?) by her arm and literally SHOVES her at me. Screams “TAKE HER YOU CAN HAVE HER” and runs around the corner, cackling madly. One of the actors from down the hall told me later that the kid kept telling everyone “The little girl said I could go if you took her, take her! She promised!” and shoving the woman at people.

[intensional]

christi found bald :/

[roobics]

the drama continues

[yellowjuice-deactivated20190512]

suburban white moms are really the pinnacle of passive-aggresiveness 

[socialjust-ish]

Hugs and kisses, Helen

[heathens-and-kings]

[thebestoftumbling]

[subjugatedmind]

reblog if u would pet him

[goopy-amethyst-deactivated20250]

I am so sorry

[pyjamathyst]

I’m not

[transgenderspacerock]

cursed addition for a cursed post

[goopy-amethyst-deactivated20250]

You took the words out of my snout

[vesspa-blog]

Cute couple costume ideas

[marvel-is-ruining-my-life]

All-New Wolverine #21

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I never thought that a scene that began with Deadpool taking his shirt off would end with something so wholesome <3

[drfitzmonster]

this is so ADORABLE omg

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

THEY ARE NOW BFF :D

[santaclausdeadindian]

pity the fool who ever inconvenience that girl

[natural-frost-deactivated202002]

@makaiouzodiac

[tujima]

If memory serves, didn’t she gift him with her middle finger at some point?

[marvel-is-ruining-my-life]

She sure did! In issue #22

Friendship goals, amirite?

[yearofthesnitch]

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

[ree-duh]

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

[hashtagloveloses]

it’s this legendary horror post

[comesitbymyfire]

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

[ernmark]

Just learned about garden path sentences.

They’re basically a literary prank– the sentence starts out in such a way that you think you know where it’s going, but the way it ends completely changes the meaning while still being a complete and logical sentence. Usually it deals with double meanings, or with words that can be multiple parts of speech, like nouns and verbs or nouns and adjectives.

So we get gems like

The old man the boat. (The old people are manning the boat)

The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families. (The apartment complex is home to both married and single soldiers, plus their families)

The prime number few. (People who are excellent are few in number.)

The cotton clothing is usually made of grows in Mississipi. (The cotton that clothing is made of)

The man who hunts ducks out on weekends. (As in he ducks out of his responsibilities)

We painted the wall with cracks. (The cracked wall is the one that was pained.)

[cindysuke]

truly a strange language

[punkpuppydragon]

Thanks I hate it

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana :v

[cranebones-deactivated20210620]

I hate this. This pains me.

[sktagg23]

[distractionarydiva-blog]

I mean, of course there are still SOME parents that think that way but from my experiences they’re in the vast minority of parents, at least in the US. Yes, gender roles exist, and they fucking suck, but they aren’t as strictly enforced nowadays as they were 50, 25, even 10 years ago. Society is progressing slowly and I’ve noticed many parents I’ve come across are absolutely fine with their daughters playing sports and do traditionally masculine things, and a lot of the time (though to an admittedly smaller extent), fine with letting their sons do feminine things as well. Most of the time, strong enforcement of gender roles come from schools and older kids, not from the parents, although once again, there are a number of parents who do the same. This is just from what I’ve seen, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

[aspieash-deactivated20220104]

Friendly anti-Autism $peaks reminder for today:

- Autism Speaks was created after a couple decided they wanted a cure for their autistic grandchild

- The CEO has called Autism a “monster that is stealing our children”

- There are no autistic people on the board for Autism Speaks

- A$ has furthered propaganda that claims autism is caused by external sources such as vaccines, gluten, and milk.

- A$ has produced short films demonizing the condition, claiming it will “destroy marriages” and you will “never know peace”.

- A$ has been condemned by both autistic people and mental health experts

- A$ is also classified by autistic people as a hate group

- A$ has recently allied with a group of bikers who are known for white supremacy

- Only 4% of A$ funds raised go to help families, with 33% going to media and lobbying.

Please do not give Autism Speaks a single cent of your money. Instead, consider donating to Autistic Women’s Network or Autistic Self-Advocacy Network instead.

[tamwah]

782

your interests are everywhere! there’s not much to go off on your header but from looking at ur archives for like 3 seconds u seem really big into homestuck and u seem to be fond of this boy that has horns or something