An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Fox's batch gets together for a reunion at 79s mid-war. Somehow this saves the galaxy.
Show & Tell

#extradirty

pixel skylines
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
untitled
The Bowery Presents
noise dept.
Misplaced Lens Cap
Sade Olutola
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One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
todays bird
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Discoholic 🪩
KIROKAZE
Keni

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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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@dixieconley
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Fox's batch gets together for a reunion at 79s mid-war. Somehow this saves the galaxy.
One of your party members died, everyone's sad, even you, that is until their weapon turns into a genderbent version of him/her and picked up the dead body, which then turned into a slightly broken version of a weapon. And acts like it's normal?
Fox: ::sitting up:: Thorn. Why is my chest plate flat? Thorn: ... Thorn: Because it's always been flat. Thorn: Who are you and what did you do with Fox? You, he, anyway, when I carried you into Medbay, you were in your blacks because I had to strip your armor off to resusciate you! You were dying! And now you're sitting here in full armor without a single scuff on it and talking in falsetto? How dumb do you think I am? Fox: ... Fox: ... Thorn: Okay, bad question.
Obi-Wan: Why did you get here so late?
Ahsoka: Well...
Anakin: We were in the turbolift for 15 minutes panicking thinking we were stuck.
Ahsoka: Only to find out that neither of us pushed the button...
Obi-Wan:
May the 4th be with you, friends :D !!
Obi-Wan: I hesitate to ask as I find it difficult enough to believe that, thinking the turbolift was stuck, the two of you panicked instead of comming for assistance -- but how did you discover that the actual problem was that neither of you had pushed the turbolift button? As an excuse for being late to the meeting, frankly Quinlan did better as a padawan. Anakin: ... Ahsoka: ... Rex: ::stepping up beside them:: Obi-Wan: ... Obi-Wan: Never mind. Cody, you're in charge. I need some tea. All the tea.
I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream
My contribution for the holiday.
For Torrent, it's a fun night out at 79s. For Dogma, it's slow torture. When he sees a chance to escape, he takes it. Will he get a break, or will his night end in tears?
What if Palpatine slips up and Fox discovers the Sith code? And goes, huh, that looks like a sensible set of rules. What then?
Peace is a lie, there is only suffering. Through suffering, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.
Fox doesn't know *when* he found out about The Code. He didn't know about it when he left Kamino and he doesn't remember hearing it from anyone afterward. The knowledge is just *there*.
But.
It just makes So. Much. Sense. The first part (Peace is a lie, there is only suffering) is objectively true and the rest? Lays out a path for success. And it totally works! (He gets The Code put up on one of the walls of their HQ. Something that useful? Needs to be *shared*.)
Instead of being beaten down by the suffering he and his men experience, he can follow the Code and allow it to strengthen them. It's them against the Senate, against the whole galaxy even, maybe, and once he's decided to Do Something? Well. That conviction *is* power. As is the degree of control the Corries can exercise over the Senate, the very nerve center of the Republic, should they choose to do so.
And if the Code says to use that power to gain victory? Well then it's just a matter of deciding what victory looks like, isn't it? That victory involves every being who ever abused a Corrie getting a blaster to the face? Shouldn't have been a bunch of chain gilding brother raping shabuir'e, should you? Karma motherfucker.
Fox kills Palpatine personally. (Something prompts him to do it while the chancellor is sleeping. Fox trusts his instincts. And he's a soldier. He's in favor of effectiveness, not grandstanding or torture in the name of revenge.) That after the fact the Corries discover Palpatine was a force user with lightsabers, a direct connection to the Separatists, multiple trillion credit accounts and the underpinnings for a galactic empire? Score!
But -- the Jedi are appalled.
Mace: This is the Sith code. You have to renounce it. Fox: Respectfully, sir (not at all respectful), if you want us to do something else, then make it so that it isn't true. Fox: Our lives have been suffering from decanting on. Of my batch, I'm the only one who wasn't killed for a cosmetic defect. I've gotten four hours of sleep out of the last 72 and all of it was napping while standing up during my Senate shift. Fox: You want me to make a different choice? Then make it so we're not suffering. Mace: That code is *wrong*. Fox: ::looks between him and the dead architect of the war:: Seems accurate to me. Mace: ::massaging nose:: Causing others to suffer is wrong. Fox: He didn't suffer. One shot through the heart, then a second through the head just to be sure. He didn't feel a thing. Unfortunately. Mace: ::growling:: Quinlain. Kriffing. Vos. You have a lot to answer for.
And that? Was a big mistake.
Because Fox? Has Opinions about Jedi. He's okay with them taking custody of the Sith artifacts, because that's *their job*. But individual Jedi? Plo Koon? Universally good. Obi-Wan Kenobi? Decent fellow, but Fox will shiv him if he breaks Cody's heart. Anakin Skywalker? Needs to be drowned. Shaak Ti? Useless and ineffectual. Windu? Well, he's not exactly been making any friends with his attitude, but he's the bane of Skywalker's existence, so Fox is inclined to give him some slack.
But if Windu's going after Vos? The one Jedi that's been anything like good to the Guard? Well... Fox has a lot of blackmail. And he's creatively vindictive. So:
Fox: If you try to punish Vos, you'll regret it. Mace: ::getting out lightsaber:: I won't let you kill me. Fox: ::disdainful eyebrow, scoffing laugh:: You wish. ::lifts comm to his mouth:: I'm just going to make sure that every theater on Coruscant is closed. Permanently. Mace: You monster.
Without an immediate physical threat, Mace has no grounds for lightsabering Fox. And Fox? Has employed his newly empowered Corries (and newly depopulated Senate) to implement Palpatine's empire. With himself in charge.
And of course Fox has gotten his hands on Palpatine's lightsaber. Thorn: Weren't you supposed to turn that over to the Jedi? Fox: I did. Thorn: Then what's it doing here? Fox: There were two. They got one, I got one. Thorn: ...do they know that?
That an empire run by a clone may not be what the galaxy as a whole wants? Not really something Fox cares about one way or the other. He wants to protect his people, starting with the Guard, then the rest of the Vode, then those they care about. That's it. And he has the power to do so, so he's going to make it happen.
But everyone who isn't a Corrie? Has no clue what Fox is up to. And so, once Fox has gotten far enough in his plans that his Empire is a reality and everyone else catches on to the new order of things:
Cody, Rex and Wolffe bursting into Emperor Fox's office: Cody: We can't let you kill our Jedi. Fox: ::blandly:: I'm not going to kill your Jedi. ::looks at Rex:: Yours, maybe, if you don't get him off Coruscant. Rex: ...that's fair. Wolffe: What? Buir said you follow the Sith code. Sith *kill* Jedi. Fox: ::rolls eyes:: I found a set of instructions that worked and I followed them. Does reading a blaster maintenance manual make you a blaster? Or an engineer?
And he's not wrong. So the commanders (and Mace) talk to the Council, who decide they want to see Fox personally. And, again, Fox has nothing against the Jedi (yet -- he has nothing against them *yet*), so he goes.
Council: What are your demands? Fox: As long as I'm emperor, whenever a Jedi goes on a mission, they're accompanied by the Vode. Council: That's it? You follow the Sith code?! Fox: Yes? I'm a dictator, not an asshole. I have no intention of hurting the Jedi. Yoda: The Sith, evil are. Fox: On the other hand, if you're going to define wanting to be free as evil I can always change that. Fox: And *unlike* you, my government will be actively freeing slaves. So much for Jedi being good, hmm? ::micdrop::
He never relaxes the requirement that they be accompanied by the Vode -- because Jedi, the good Jedi anyway -- are stupidly self-sacrificing and deserve to be protected like an endangered species. (The bad Jedi? Like Krell? Can be Dealt With like everyone else who's harmed a vod. Looking at you, Kaminoans.)
The merely annoying Jedi? Those can be dealt with more creatively. Mace intelligently backed down. Yoda and Anakin however face constant annoyance. (Really, from a certain point of view, Fox is doing Amidala a *favor* matchmaking her with Thorn.)
Vos: You know, you *are* making someone suffer. Fox: Yes? Jedi: Anakin. Fox: I'm not drawing strength from his suffering or whatever it is you think I'm doing. Fox: I just hate him. Vos: …that's fair.
Fox ends up leading the first *successful* Sith empire, handing it over to Thorn and Padme's daughter in a peaceful exchange of power when she gets old enough. While the Vode have settled all over the galaxy (and a surprising number on Kamino), Fox chooses to retire to one of Palpatine's many many estates to live out his remaining years in peace, accompanied by a remarkably large portion of the rabidly loyal former Coruscant Guard.
And Vos. Because despite everything Fox has done to normalize the Sith code as a way *out* of suffering, the Jedi are still close-minded judgmental religious fanatics who hold the fact that Vos fell against him even though they *ordered* him to do it. Even though he clawed his way back while they tried to tell him it was impossible. (And if Fox has plans already drawn up for a Force-sensitive Sith order? Well, Fox has a *lot* of plans.)
And if Vos being with him means that Cody visits more often so that Kenobi can see his best friend? Well, Fox never minds getting to spend time with his Vode.
He'll talk Kenobi into being the grandmaster of the new Sith order eventually.
I love the Fox and Anakin beef but the second Anakin hears about freeing slave Anakin would busting down the door to help.
Fox: I’m going to end slavery of all kinds.
Anakin: *Already on the comm with Beru* Say less. You have slave chips? I can deactivate them and the medics can remove them. Need a new identity? Already have Padmé on it. Support group? Here’s the address. How do you feel about the Hutts?
I love this for Anakin. And Fox would absolutely hate every minute of it.
Fox: Why is the only Jedi who's actually willing to help the one I hate the most? Vos: You know, you could probably convince him to join the Sith. Fox: I would rather die.
Incorrect meme alt text: Totally normal thing | Criticism Fucked up thing | Perfection
Evil plan Logical next step of evil plan Logical consequences Confused surprise
Offended cat noises
Crosshair: So how'd you get your name? Mayday: Did your batch do the unwinnable Kobiyashi Maru sim? The one where you answer a distress call in Separatist space only to find it's a decoy and you're left in a crippled ship with a droid carrier on your bow? Crosshair: ... Crosshair: Yes. Mayday: When they ran my batch through it, they tried to send a mayday and got 'killed' by the sim. Mayday: They gave me my name because I was the one who didn't call for help. Crosshair: What did you do instead? Mayday: After they all died and I verified that I couldn't do anything to repair the ship, I waited for the droid ship to finish clamping on in preparation to board, then I scuttled the Maru. Explosively. Crosshair: ... Crosshair: Not bad. Mayday: How did your batch do? Crosshair: Hunter EVA'd to the droid ship and attached explosives Wrecker built while Tech repaired the guns, then I used them to snipe the charge and blow the clankers up before they reached us. Mayday: ... Mayday: That's incredible! Your instructors must have been very impressed. Crosshair: ... Crosshair: We got punishment detail for being too slow and failing to repair the ship as well. Mayday: ... Mayday: When we get back to base, I'm breaking out the starshine and we're getting drunk, because that is the most karked up thing I've ever heard. Crosshair: ... Crosshair: It's not even in my top ten.
You were, supposedly, destined by prophecy to become a hero in service of the goddess. You absolutely hated it, but you weren't given a choice. When your duty was finally fulfilled you got to meet the goddess, who commanded your bravery and sacrifice for volunteering for such a dangerous task.
Hero: Oh? And how exactly did I volunteer? Because I don't remember any of this. Goddess: You swore to end all evil on the Earth and beneath it in my name. Hero: What? ::searching memories:: Wait-- Hero: I WAS TWO!! Goddess: I know! It was so adorable! Do you want to see pictures?
Can I request more "yes, tis I, the Very Real Jango Fett, and this JEDI PADAWAN that, again, I JANGO FETT, have stolen" time travel Alpha-17 adventures?
Maybe a glimpse into the "no, see, I'm actually very Calm and Reasonable about this, my one man rampage across the galaxy, in pursuit of thE MANDALORIAN WHORE THAT TOOK MY PADA-" Crashout of one Jedi Master Qui-gon Jinn?
(Honestly... he needed this. He's actually been working through his past traumas at a VERY productive and swift pace! Doing some intense battle meditation and a bit of soul searching on the side! Crawling through vents like a horror movie monster!!
There really is nothing like "Mandalorians have stolen my Baby Child" to force to to DEAL with your own shit speedrun style. Once he has recovered his Padawan, spaced that motherfuck turned the man over to the rightful authorities, and gotten them home? He's thinking he should take Obi-Wan out for some burgers! ^-^ )
“Jango fett, undercover jedi?” Breaks the news and Jango starts going grey
Alpha-17 can’t or thinks he can’t legally adopt Obi-wan because it would publicly be assumed Jango fett adopted him and Alpha-17 would rather space them all then let anyone think that
Jinn and Alpha fighting like children “I don’t want it” “then I’m having it!” “NO I WANT IT NOW” “TOO FUCKING LATE LOSER” “YOOODAAAAAAA”
He may not want to teach this child (lol, you say that NOW) but there's a LINE between "no, not for me, thank you" and "Let's Hand Over The Baby to MANDALORIANS(Known Blaster Wielding Criminals made of CRIME, who also HATE US!)"
Like? Wait. Wait, no! That's NOT WHAT HE SAID! Give that innocent CHILD BACK, YOU MADMAN! ( /O.O)/
N like? Lol, no the Jedi PR department day drinking taking EXTRA meditation breaks while they resist the desire to put a hit on this FUCKER who kidnaps Adorable Young Initiates and seems hell bent on spreading misinformation about jedi traditions.
Do... do you have ANY idea? How many OTHER Mandalorians have taken this fucker at his word? And thought they could just ROCK UP to CHALLENGE various Knights and Masters for their Padawans?
"Hello, I'm here to challenge you for custody of The Child" *points at a confused Padawan/Initiate out with their Master/Creche*
The guards are going FERAL! Heck, the CRECHE MASTERS are going feral! Qui-gon Jinn has caused no less then 15 interplanetary Incidents™ chasing the man and isn't returning anyone's calls!
Jango Fett is Enemy Number One Greatly Disliked, in these halls.
The Jedi have, at this point had a goddamn PRESS CONFERENCE saying that no you cannot adopt our padawans, especially not by challenging us.
They may need to have another press conference.
"That's sounds like what a COWARD would say! You just know you'd LOSE!" -Local Mandalorians, probably.
Yoda: Keep the boy, you cannot. Alpha-17: Try me. Jango: Finders keepers. Jinn didn't even leave him a *weapon* when that dar'buir abandoned him on a planet Demagol would have been proud to call home. Yoda: ... Yoda: Dooku's padawan, he is. Jango: The Butcher of Galidraan? No wonder. The only surprise then is that Jinn didn't leave a trail of bodies behind him. Yoda: ... Yoda: Urgent appointment remembered, I have. Speak later, we can. Kenobi: I told you they don't want me back. Alpha-17 and Jango: Their loss.
A Dragon Knight's soul is bound to their dragon. Often reincarnating back into the world when they die. Dragons usually wait until their knight becomes an adult again before seeking them out. You, however, can't wait to see your knight again. Especially after the last time they died.
Sir Fox and the Duinuogwuin (or: how to totally misinterpret a writing prompt) Fox: So. An enormous glowing dragon really did swallow Palpatine whole. Thorn: I *told* you. When it swallowed him , it was like a mini-storm in there. Black clouds and lightning strikes. I don't think he can get out. *And* I got holo. Fox: This is the best day of my life. Thorn: I know, right? Tarre: Excuse me. I'm actually a Ka'ra'Duinuogwuin. Fox: ... Tarre: ::sighing:: A Star Dragon. Fox: ... Thorn: ::whispering:: At least he's already eaten. Fox: I apologize for the disrespect, sir. Tarre: I am the one who must apologize. My title is Lord Not-A-Vizsla the Reincarnated and I have followed you from lifetime to lifetime. I'm sorry I'm late. Fox: ... Tarre: I take it that didn't translate well. Call me Tarre. I no longer call Clan Vizsla aliit after they took my kyber from the Temple. The Ka'ra send their star-touched back to guide the mando'karla. I look for your reincarnation in each lifetime, seeking you out when you reach the cusp of adulthood. I seem to have spent too long in the Manda this time. Tarre: In my defense, I did eat the dar'jetii as soon as I got here. Fox: I love you. Marry me. Tarre: My dear, we already are. Thorn: That was the sappiest, most romantic thing I've ever seen. *And* I got another holo! This really is the best day ever.
Vos: So I'm taking over the Republic and turning it into an Empire. Wanna help? Fox: … Fox: Throw in killing Palpatine and making my vod'e citizens with backpay and you've got a deal. Vos: No takesies-backsies! Fox: … Fox: I presume you have a plan? Vos: Of course I have a plan! It's a great plan, don't listen to Obi-Wan! I'll only make people wear gold and purple on alternate Taungsdays -- we can even turn it into a festival! People will love it. Fox: Eh, still better than Palpatine. Vos: That's the spirit!
::walking into Palpatine's office with Fox:: Vos: ::cheerily:: Hey, Palps, we're here to kill you. Think you can fit it into your schedule? Palpatine: … Palpatine: Commander, execute order 66. Fox: Sir, yes, sir! Fox: ::shoots Palpatine in the head:: Vos: Well, that was easier than I expected. Fox: ::rolling his eyes:: He's only stunned. Get on with it before he wakes up. Vos: ::salutes sharply:: Sir, yes, sir! Fox: ::watching Vos tie Palpatine up with Force-suppressing cuffs:: Why am I always attracted to oblivious idiots? Vos: Did you say something? Fox: … Vos: Must've been something on his robes I touched. Thought I was hearing things. Anyway. You! Evil dude! Palpatine: You can't get away with this! Vos: Oh, I think you'll find we already did. Now how about you turn over all of your security codes and I'll let you die. Palpatine: … Palpatine: That isn't much of an incentive. Vos: ::cheerfully:: It is when you consider the alternative. Fox: ::fingering a vibroblade meaningfully:: Palpatine: … Palpatine: Killing me won't get you anything. You may have dechipped this one clone, but you can't have done so to more than the few within your reach. Should I die, the final program will execute. They outnumber you by millions and are well-equipped and well-trained. They will hunt you to the ends of the galaxy and beyond! Fox: … Fox: ::turning to Vos:: You have a plan, right? Vos: Of course! Fox: Good. Then we don't need him anymore. Palpatine: Poop.
Vos: ::cheerily:: That was not in the plan! But in my defense, his villain speech was so boring. All I heard was 'blah blah blah I am evil blah blah blah you will die. But fortunately, I prepared for the ex-Chancellor's sudden but inevitable betrayal and had all his systems sliced. Fox: ::under his breath:: We have got to work on our communication. Fox: So we're good then? He was just fronting? Vos: Oh, no. That was real. But I have a plan! Fox: Oh. Goody.
::on the GAR commander's channel:: Fox: …and as the new co-ruler of the Empire, I am ordering the Grand Army of the Republic to stand down preparatory to transitioning to peacetime conditions. Wolffe: Fox… stop being a di'kut. What the kark is going on over there? Cody: … Cody: … Cody: Sir, I must respectfully refuse as that conflicts with our standing orders to kill all of the Jedi. Fox: …wait one while I consult with my co-ruler to explain why 'it'll be easy -- just wing it' isn't a valid plan. Cody: Yes, sir! Rex: Cody?? What the kark? Cody: Emperor Fox has attempted to countermand our standing orders. I am refusing to obey an illegal order. Bly: Vod… you're talking like a clanker. Fox: ::clearing throat:: Allow me to finish before committing mutiny, commander. Let me introduce you to my co-ruler, Emperor Vos, former Jedi and the grand-apprentice to Chancellor Palpatine. Cody: Sir! Fox: Those who wish to continue their assigned mission will be consolidated into a single task force to hunt down the Jedi knights and masters. Do not pursue any who are former Jedi -- we want to eliminate our greatest enemies, not non-combatants. We feel a smaller force of motivated soldiers will be more cost-effective than the overkill that keeping all of you deployed would be when you could receive your due reward and be resettled as tax-paying citizens. This mission is strictly volunteer. Cody: … Cody: Sir, confirm the legality of this order. Fox: … Vos: Do your duty, soldier. Serve the Empire! Cody: Sir, yes, sir! I volunteer! Rex: Cody! You can't kill the generals! You've got that thing with Kenobi. What are you doing? Cody: Rex… go. This is the right thing to do. Good soldiers follow orders. Rex: … Rex: Fine! I'll find a way to free you. And save our Jedi. Rex: You're in, right, Wolffe? Wolffe: … Rex: Wolffe?? Wolffe: Vos is here and Cody's okay with it. If buir agrees to leave the Jedi, that means he'll be fine, too. Rex: You don't know that. C'mon. Wolffe: … Wolffe: Rex, this is an Empire led by Fox. His first act is to end the war and give us homes. Wolffe: You stay. Rex: … Rex: If this blows up in our faces, I reserve the right to kick your ass, you know that? Wolffe: … Wolffe: Your general's Skywalker, right? Rex: Yeah, why? Wolffe: ::smirking:: Sucks to be you.
Fox: So, what was your plan? Vos: ::gaily:: Simple. Step One: Remove Palpatine. Check. Step Two. End the war. Step Three: Profit! Vos: It worked perfectly! Fox: … Fox: I'm going to kiss you or kill you now. I'm not sure which. I suggest you start running if you object. Vos: ::face lighting up:: Ooh! You want to play like that, commander? It's on! Fox: … Fox: Oblivious idiots. Gotta love them. Fox: Get to hunt them down with blasters. Fox: Best kind of foreplay ever. Inspired by this post (https://www.tumblr.com/cc1010fox/808466187620155392/quinlan-i-know-youre-hurting-now-but-i-promise) by the most excellent @cc1010fox.
I bear more cake for the cake gods, based on their recipe, but I made mine pink with sprinkles. Because sprinkles.
if you were a weapon, (and you are one now. i’ve made you into one just by reading this) what kind of weapon would you be?
i am no longer asking i need answers people. tell me what weapon your soul is forged into.
Crosshair: I've made a replacement for that thing you pull up over your mouth when you're trying to disguise yourself. Hunter: ::scoffing:: As if I need one. Crosshair: ...
Crosshair: I put together an attachment for your scomp that will let you use it with a blaster. Echo: Are you trying to buy my forgiveness? Crosshair: ...
Crosshair: I repaired Lulu for you. Wrecker: I don't sleep with her anymore! That's stupid! Crosshair: ...
Omega: Hunter, will you wear this for me? It's to help you sneak around better? Hunter: Sure, Omega. Omega: Echo, would you try this on? I think it'd make it easier to shoot with. Echo: That's great. Thank you, Omega. Omega: Wrecker, do you want Lulu back? I think she's lonely. Wrecker: Aww, of course! That's sweet of you, Omega. Crosshair: ...
Crosshair: Here. I made this. It's a hair clip. With a sea shell on it. It's stupid. Wear it or don't. I don't care. Omega: ::hugs him:: Don't listen to them. They're meany heads. I'll wear it every day. It's beautiful. Crosshair: ...
Omega: Why are you so mean to Crosshair? Echo: Mean? To *Crosshair*? Hunter: It's not like he's social. Or wants to be around us. Wrecker: Yeah! He's all prickly! That's just the way he is. Omega: ... Omega: Well, maybe there's a reason for that. Hunter: Because he's Crosshair?
Bonus: Tech: I heard that you offered to repair my goggles after my disappearance. Crosshair: They said no. Tech: Yes, well. My goggles are broken and I could use your help if you're still willing. Crosshair: ... Crosshair: You mean that? Tech: Of course I do. I would not have said so if I didn't. I welcome your help. You're precise and your eyesight is superior. I could not ask for a better person to assist me. Crosshair: Yeah. I can do that. Tech: Thank you, Crosshair. I appreciate that. Omega: You're my favorite, Tech. Hunter: Hey!
Thorn: On call commander, speaking. How can I get rid of you so I can get back to sleep soonest? You do know that this is my sleep shift, right? Triage: Fox isn't responding. Thorn: Did he block Medical again? You want me to comm him, right? Triage: He's been on shift over the 48 hour limit and hasn't pinged the Duty Chat in the last two hours. Thorn: ::sitting up in his bunk:: Osik! His rambles are hilarious. Your policy of making everyone standing triple shifts use that chat to stay awake is brilliant. Why didn't anyone notice sooner? Triage: I would have caught it, but unfortunately I just got on shift. Thorn: This is terrible. You know how he sleepwalks. If he's bleeding out in an alleyway again, I swear I'm going to have him chipped. Triage: … Triage: I'll have a bed waiting.
Thorn: On the plus side, Fox's comm is in the Senate and transmitting. Thorn: Which means that I know where he is. Thorn: On the minus side, he could be passed out with his comm active, it's encrypted so I have no idea what he's sending or who he's sending it to and I can't break into the signal to contact him. Thorn: And I'm awake. Thorn: I hate my life.
::later:: Fox: Why am I in Medbay? Triage: You passed out. Again. Thorn: Also you killed the chancellor. And got Grievous killed, Dooku kicked out of power and basically won the war! Fox: … Fox: I did what now?
::earlier:: Fox: ::thumbing his comm on and setting it to record:: Triage, you chakaar. I know you want me to text these check-ins but you can go kark yourself if you think I don't know how all of you laugh at what I say, so you're going to have to make do with what you get. Fox: If I have to stand around watching the wall, so do you. Fox: At least the walls don't order me to fetch escorts from the lower levels. Fox: Or shinies. Fox: Or Thorn. Thorn really needs to cut his hair. No one ever does this kind of thing to Rex. Fox: Probably because Cody would feed them their balls. Why do I never get to feed anyone their balls? Fox: …zzz… Senator: Finally. Why did you take so long fetching my dinner? Aren't you aware of how important I am? The Yam'rii require their meals fresh! Kaleesh eggs spoil if they're left out of stasis for too long. Senator: Wait. You're not my aide! I didn't call for a clone! Get out! Fox: So you like eating other sentient species, do you? Well, try this! Fox: ::fires his blasters:: Tibanna! It's what's for dinner! Fox: …zzz…
::on Umbara:: Rex: General Grievous! Don't move! Dogma -- notify General Krell! Grievous: Peace, commander. I have no grievance against any clone. Your people have shown yourself to be a friend to the Kaleesh. I am here to take my revenge against the Jedi who sided with those who would eat our young. Rex: … Rex: Right this way, sir. ::twenty minutes later:: Skywalker: Okay, I'm back now. What happened while I was g-- Grievous! Grievous: Skywalker! Jesse: We should probably do something, right? Hardcase: Nah, the general's got this. Bangcorn?
::in the Senate:: Fox: …zz… Palpatine: …why am I only hearing about the capture of Grievous now, my apprentice?! Do you not know the price of failing me? Dooku: Of course, my master. I will-- Fox: Hello, Count Dooku. Big fan. The way you took off Skywalker's hand? Chef's kiss. I'm so tired of finding him kriffing his wife everywhere. Do you know how much trouble it is covering that kind of osik up? Palpatine: … Palpatine: Commander? I believe you've outlived your usefulness. Time to die. Palpatine: ::lightning crackling in his hands:: Fox: Ooh, pretty. Palpatine: Playing crazy won't help you. ::sends lightning at Fox:: Fox: ::picks up statuette from Palpatine's desk:: Ooh, shiny. ::lightning reflects off it and back at Palpatine:: Palpatine: Poop.
::back in Medbay:: Thorn: Even better, you accidentally transmitted all of it to the holonews so everyone was watching. You're more famous than Skywalker now! Fox: … Fox: This is probably the best dream I've ever had. Triage: ::drily:: You're awake, sir. Fox: … Fox: … Fox: In that case, I'm going back to sleep. If this turns out to be real when I wake up again, I'll deal with it then. Fox: Because I'm not awake enough yet to properly enjoy this. Thorn: … Thorn: That means I have to do the flimsiwork, doesn't it? Fox: ... Fox: Yes. Yes, it does.
So. The last thing I need is another fic, when I still don't even know how I'm going to end Scapegoat, but I woke up from a dream I had last night and there was an entire idea for a Wicked story in my head. Instead of the invitation to the Emerald City coming during term, Elphaba goes home at the end of term. Because Frex is an ass, she has to go home with the other Munchkins. On the way home, they get kidnapped (as you do) and tortured. She gets experimented on in order to determine why she's green and they end up skinning her and patching her up again. She ends up degreenified, but a patchwork mess of scars. Then she manages to rescue the group and get them back to Shiz. The invitation arrives, but at that point, she's not willing to do the spell on the Monkeys without explicit consent. The Wizard asks her to do a different spell and she succeeds. Long story short, Morrible shows her true colors, gets locked away and the Wizard convinces Elphaba that he's on the animals' side. Because of everything, Elphaba wants to go home and he lets her with the condition that she come back after she finishes Shiz. She agrees but takes the Grimmerie with her. Back home, she's been raised to the status of hero by the other students and Frex is furious. Nessa is jealous that Boq is hero-worshipping Elphaba and does a spell to change his heart, poisoning him slowly and sending him mad while killing him. Elphaba still does the spell, saving him life, but this time, he puts the blame where it belongs.
Frex throws them all out, banishing Elphaba from Munchkinland. She returns to Shiz, degreenified. Fiyero makes an ass out of himself and she runs off and cries, but this time, the other students band around her. He finds her and tell her that she was always beautiful to him and to think of how Galinda will react, and how she'll no doubt find a way to make stitches fashionable and accessorize with them, which makes Elphaba laugh before saying that she wasn't beautiful then and how she's finally gotten her wish to be de-greenified, but is actually more freakish to look at now that she's a Patchwork Girl.
Morrible escapes and tries to destroy Oz with storms while Nessa takes over Munchkinland after Frex dies (due to either being lynched or out of rage/heart attack over Elphaba). The Wizard sends for Elphaba, as she has the Grimmerie and he wants to ask her about her parentage. She brings Fiyero and Galinda with her, finds out the Wizard is her father (which she's completely open to) and, with them, spearheads the efforts to defeat the Wicked Witches of the East and West.
It's basically all an excuse to use the Patchwork Girl from the Baum books, but I really really don't need another story. (The stitches do heal, btw. Just slowly.)
You aren't the Chosen One. The prophecy doesn't even get going for another few generations. But you aren't just going to let some upstart conqueror trample your tulip garden just because the Fates say you can't beat him.
[on Umbara] Dogma: I know that his orders are strategically unsound and getting us all killed. But he's still in charge. We should follow General Krell's orders. Fives: They're batshit insane. Even you have to see that. Dogma: But he's in charge. It's in the regs. We can't disobey him. Fives: ... Fives: You're an idiot, you know that, right? [Krell sets the 212th vs. the 501st, getting many of them killed just because he can] Tup: ::cries:: That's horrible. My batchmate in the 212th died. I can't believe it. It's one thing to die to the Separatists, but... ::starts sobbing:: Fives: Someone has to do something about Krell.
::five minutes later:: Dogma: ::standing over Krell's body:: Nobody makes my Tup cry. Tup: ::wipes his eyes:: That... he didn't deserve that. But it's what he was doing to us. You avenged Rook. Thank you. Rex: ... Rex: I know Krell was awful, but that was unjustified. I'll have to notify GAR Command. GAR Command: You *kill* Krell? You blast him in the face like a Separatist droid? Oh! Oh! Jail for Dogma! Jail for Dogma for one thousand years! Dogma: ... Tup: You're going away. They're probably going to have you decommissioned. ::starts crying:: I can't lose you too. Dogma: ... Dogma: *Nobody* makes you cry.
[cue Dogma taking over the Republic] Obi-Wan: So. Let me get this straight. GAR Command ordered you to Coruscant, presumably to send you to jail before holding a trial. Dogma: Yes, sir. Obi-Wan: But instead of surrendering, you took a ship, went to Coruscant and, when they wouldn't change their minds, decided to go to the top and confront Chancellor Palpatine. Dogma: Yes, sir, that's what happened. Obi-Wan: And when he refused to pardon you, you killed him. Dogma: Sir? Do you need to see Kix? You seem to be having an issue remembering recent events. I think you may have a concussion. Obi-Wan: ... Obi-Wan: No, I'm fine, thank you. To get to my point, how did that end up with you killing Dooku, ending the war and taking over the Senate? And what are your demands? Dogma: Demands, sir? Obi-Wan: You're effectively in charge of the Republic now. Dogma: Oh. No, I can't be in charge. That would be against regulations. Obi-Wan: ... Obi-Wan: ::massaging the bridge of his nose:: Maybe I will see Kix. I suddenly have a terrible headache. [back at the 501st] Fives: Um. So. Why aren't you ruling the Republic right now? And do you have any plans to get revenge for any light-hearted and totally harmless pranks that may have taken place in the past? Jesse: Sssh, you can't ask that. Don't you know what he's capable of? Do you *want* to make him angry? Dogma: Oh. I can't do that because I'm only a private. That would be against regulations. Fives: ... Jesse: ... ::general disbelief:: Fives: I *love* the regulations. Dogma: ::perking up:: You do? Would you like to start a club with me? We can review the regulations? I like to keep up to date with each new revision. We can recite them from memory. Fives: Uh... Rex: Yes, Fives. Don't you want to study the regs? Fives: ... Fives: I feel like any answer I give will get me into trouble. Dogma: Mood.
Cody: Fox! Fox, sighing: What. Cody: Fourteen? You arrested fourteen of my men!? Fox: I didn't arrest anyone. I don't have time to arrest fourteen troopers. My men arrested your men for starting multiple fights at a bar. Cody: If you don't release them right now-- Fox: You'll what? You'll what, Cody? Tell me. Cody, glaring: Just release my men. Fox just sighs and shakes his head. Wolffe: FOX! Release my trooper right now! Fox: Not for at least another night. He-- Wolffe: I don't care what he did! You're not going to treat him like the scum of Coruscant! Let him out! Fox rolls his eyes and focuses on his datapad. Bly: Fox... Fox: I'm not letting him out early. Bly: We're leaving in two days! Fox: And he'll be out in twelve hours. No less. Bly, trying to be patient but clearly failing: Fox, just do this one thing for me... Fox stands up and walks towards the Senate Building, where Bly knows he can't pester him around senators. Rex: FOX! Fox, lifting his head and wiping his eyes: What... Rex, going from furious to worried: You--Uh...Are you ok? Fox: No... Rex, crouching by the desk and resting a hand on his back: What's going on? Fox: Everyone's men keep breaking laws, and guess who has to enforce the law on Coruscant for our vode? Still, you all come in here yelling at me like I have a choice...Why do I have to bend the rules for you? Why can't any of you keep your men out of trouble? Rex: I...Fox, I'm sorry...I know they can be rowdy, but-- Fox: Please...Please don't ask me to make an exception...You all ask me to make exceptions. They're not exceptions if I do it for everyone! Rex: ... Fox: ...I'm sorry I have to do this...I thought you would understand, though, and not hate me for doing my job... Rex: Hey, give me a minute, alright? I need to...do something... Cody, knocking on the doorframe: Hey, Fox? Wolffe: We brought you some food... Bly: And some drinks to share... Rex: And written apologies from all of our men who have given you trouble lately... Cody: As for us... Wolffe: We're here to apologize in person... Bly: Sincerely, we're sorry for yelling at you and-- Rex: Making you think that we hate you... Cody: We all love you. Wolffe: You're our vod... Bly: And we understand you're just doing your job. Rex: You're damn good at it too. Fox: ...Kriff, I'm going to cry again...
Also: Bacara: Fox, about my troopers you have in lock-up. I need-- Fox: No. Bacara: … Bacara: Do me the courtesy of listening to my request first, commander. Fox: Fine. What is it? Bacara: Do you know when my men will be released? I need to know when to send an escort. Fox: … Fox: You're not going to ask me to have them released early? Bacara: … Bacara: No. Why would I do that? What kind of dini'la di'kut would expect you to break regulations in order to avoid well-earned punishment? Fox: You don't want to know. Bacara: Yes, I do. I have Marines. I'd like to have a word with these soon to be dead men. Fox: … Fox: I love you. Marry me.