Rough Around the Edges

I have my issues, I'm just tryna get through them. I have my moments, I'm just tryna produce more of them.

[aerishey]

CARMY ACTIVELY HIDES HIS DESIRE TO BE WITH SYDNEY FROM HIS FAMILY, AND THEN HIMSELF - PART 3 AKA THE RICHIE OF IT ALL

This is based on the meta where I analyzed why it wasn't Cl**re, but Richie teasing Carmy and Sydney in 2x03 that made Carmy pull away from Sydney. The gist of it is that because of his family, anything "fun" got fucked, Richie and Mikey borderline bullied him about his crush on Cl**re. so when Richie made that "Oooo" comment, and it annoyed Syd, it was like sirens in Carmy's head, and he did everything he could not to fuck it up, because Syd left him once, and he can't let that happen again. Please, read part 1 for more details! You can find part 2 about the sublimation lamb dish in 3x09 here.

So now I found three little moments in the show that support this theory. I compiled them into one video, so you can watch them in whole:

So the scenes one by one:

In 2x04, when Nat tried to tell Carmy she was pregnant, she explicitly said she really doesn't want Richie to know. I think we can take a guess why.

In 4x06, Nat said both Carmy and her wanna hide from things, they grew up in the same house.

In 3x08, she tells Donna she still fears Pete's gonna leave her - and my theory is that Carmy is terrified of Syd leaving again (that would mean the end of the restaurant, the end of Mikey's place, the end of fixing this family), so that's why he does what he does throughout s2-s4, ensuring in a twisted way that Syd doesn't leave.

Nat and Carm literally grew up together, experiencing the same things mostly, and that could include Mikey and Richie pushing and trying too hard, making a joyful thing quickly sour. So it makes sense, that Carmy really would try to hide any budding non-business related connection with Syd from Richie. He can't afford to make her uncomfortable and watch her go out the door.

In 2x10, Carmy was relatively calm when Richie asked him what did he told Cl**re. The Donna comment pissed him off, but it wasn't that bad.

But what really made him loose it was Richie asking why he can't let any good happen to him. He laughs in disbelief.

If Richie and his teasing was the first domino, that eventually lead up to Carmy in the freezer (making him break his promise not to leave Syd alone, not to let her fail, having flashbacks of the day she left The Beef), Carmy's reaction would make so much sense. That this comment is what got to him, and that he's laughing at the irony of fucking Richie asking him this. When Richie (among others) was the reason when they were kids, and Richie is (kinda) the reason why now.

In 4x10 this "she" moment was so weird to me, when I first watched it, then continued to be weird for awhile.

Like, why doesn't Carmy just say "Syd"? Why does it look like it's hard for him to say even "she"? Why the camera cuts to Richie asking who is "she", really emphasizing this question and the moment? Why can't Carmy answer it? It was so weird, and I couldn't come up with a reason why the show did that? Like, what was the point of this making it like that? What was the purpose?

But if we apply the theory, the originally, Carmy wanted to hide his non-business side of his relationship with Sydney from Richie, then it makes perfect sense.

Like the way he looks like it hurts to mention Sydney. That it's so hard to tell Richie that they were talking about his family, not the restaurant. The way he couldn't even say her name, because he wanted to hide her away, keep her safe, not make her uncomfortable, keep her. The way he looked terrified when Richie asked who is she, and he couldn't answer. And the way he needed a moment to collect himself before continuing.

(And it has a bitter comedic element to it. Like, this guy is so pressed keeping this thing away from Richie, and he's like "ok, continue", because he's a changed man now? All that effort for this reaction? it's pretty funny, actually.)

On a side note, this theory would also explain why Carmy would ask Cl**re to dance with him when he saw Richie ask Sydney, and why would he steal glances at Sydney over Cl**re on the dancefloor, but would NEVER actually ask her to dance in front of Richie and who knows how many Berzattos and Faks.

what do you guys think?

[alpinecoalescence]

Something about Sydney and Carmy both being the black sheep of their families.

Sydney not being feminine enough, raised by her father, asking for pink ponytails and light up sneakers and barbies because all the other girls in school like those things, not knowing about period stuff until she asked a teacher about it, "Didn't your mom show you?", "I'm sure your mom is proud!" Being a woman in a "man's field", driving a UPS truck, not getting manicures every month, trying to make a catering job work if only to prove herself as a real woman.

Carmy not being masculine enough, raised by his mother, asking for straight, gelled-up hair like his brother's and baseball jerseys because all the other boys in school like those things, not knowing why his voice cracked so much or why he didn't get any taller or why he couldn't breathe sometimes, "Didn't your dad teach you how to shave?, "I'm sure your dad is ashamed of you!" Being a quieter, softer, kinder man in a screaming, yelling, abusing field, drawing flowers and clothes, vomiting everyday before work, trying to be a chef if only to prove himself as a real man.

[sonoranbumblebee]

Are we coming to the end of basketcase Carmy?

Thinking about how Carmy with Andrea Terry was so chill and articulate and even a little funny.

And how Carmy with Marcus or Luca or Cousin Stevie is a wholly different being than the one we get with Whatshername or DD, for instance, and different again from the guy who's getting wailed on all the time by Jimmy, Computer, season 3 Richie, etc. They see a Carmy who is coherent and confident and even has a little swag.

We also see hints of that same fully actualized guy with Richie and Evie at the wedding.

Also, baby is asking questions about how other people, namely Tina and Sugar, are feeling and what's going on in their personal lives, which is huge progress from where he started.

Syd is the great outlier in his personal life because she is the Most Important One. They both had very adorable jitters more than once in season four which is, again, adorable, but also tells you which direction they think they're heading. But also they had each other's back all season, which is how it should be.

But if he trades some of the anxiety for confidence now that Donna and Mikey have been dispensed with, I personally think that would be delightful.

[berzattohugs]

Not to be soft but Tina telling Carmy he’s the shit and has nothing to prove had me sobbing I just love their relationship so much

[sonoranbumblebee]

I cannot emphasize enough how important I think it was the that grace and love that was given to Carmy this season was key to his growth and ability to change. Baby who is "sometimes a lot" was wiped out. He'd burned out for what he said was selfishness and ego, but which I think was more honestly him working desperately to prove himself worthy and lovable. All season his family tried to show and tell that they don't love him what he does for them but for who he is with and to them.

* Tina telling him he was the shit, which was the first thing Mikey ever told her about Carmy, but also that she'd put a spoon up his ass if he didn't remember Sugar had an actual baby. He doesn't really have a mom, but Tina is a mom and she can be that person for a minute if he needs.

* Sugar being the best sister who loves him soooo much no matter what he does in life

* Sugar wanting him so much to meet her baby, and Sophie loving her uncle on sight

* Pete taking his crazy-person calls at 2 in the morning and taking care of business for the family

* Richie trusting him with the damn sandwich, which was always his thing with Mikey

* Richie riding to his rescue with Syd in tow

* Syd wanting to hold him so bad right then; I'm not even sure he could see her right then but I know he could feel she was there for him

* Tiff being overjoyed to see her cousin Carmy

* Frank being so nice

* Cousin Stevie bragging on him to Syd

* "Uncle" Lee telling him that Mikey knew about his potato wrapped fish and loved him and was so proud of him

* The Faks always pumping him up and idolizing him no matter what he does

* Marcus confiding in him about dad problems and work problems and Carm being able to help him out by syncing with Tina and also bringing in Luca

* Ebra wanting to bring opportunity to the business in gratitude for...everything; Ebra giving him for grace for not having tracked him down when he dropped out of cooking school

* the window guys being stoked to be back in Mikey's house

* all the Ever kids and Luca totally rolling with the family insanity of it

* Donna with her truth and reconciliation letter and being unfucked enough to let her Michelin-star-chef son make her some lunch

* His girl Syd killing it in the kitchen and being his light and joy even when she was sometimes angry and disappointed in him. All the feelings can coexist. The angry doesn't abrogate the love. Syd explaining stuff and never letting him feel stupid. Syd telling him she loved him, even though the words were different. Syd being an incredible mom to their kids. Syd talking to his mom when he couldn't bear to do it himself. Syd nourishing him (bisexual fertility orange ginger foam scallop), even when he felt like he didn't feel like he had anything to give back to her (the lamb that wouldn't)

[competitioneddie]

I want to talk about The Bear and scenes where Syd is bathed in glorious sunlight while Carmy is in the dark because that right there is their dynamic.

So they're fixing this table and the light coming in from the window behind Syd puts her in perspective for us just like she was when Carmy asked her to take the plunge with him and they've come so far but they're also at the starting point again, about to do something crazy. Together.

Carmy has been struggling to reconcile running his own restaurant with dating Claire and her ties to his past. I do think he loves the idea of sticking it to his family more than he loves her. He did it. He got the restaurant. He got the girl.

Then he notices all the little things that aren't up to his psychopathic standards because he wasn't there. He runs Sydney's own chaos menu by her only after Claire tells him okay that sounds good maybe listen to Syd. And Syd says I'm not jealous and she's not. She feels betrayed. Carmy should want to listen to her. She's giving up everything, they all are, because this needs to come first. She makes an omelette for Nat and she adds chips and chives because she loves cooking more than anything else. That's her priority. She's been rebuffing Marcus so this big moment where her dad starts believing in her could happen.

Meanwhile Carmy is once again isolated, realising that he can't do everything on his own and he needs to get his priorities straight. Everyone has stepped up and had this big moment of growth, and he hasn't, because he was the prodigal son, everyone just had to trust him with this, but he doesn't know what he's doing, he only knows he needed all of them to be on board and be the best at it, and he isn't. He isn't on board. He isn't the best. He didn't make it.

This was not his dream. He dragged everyone along for this and he hasn't even been around for it and he's met with that truth, fixing a table in the most intimate way possible with Syd on their opening day. Getting stuck in the walk-in is the final nail in his coffin. He is alone. He's lost sight of his purpose. His partner needs to come first and if he can't do that he doesn't deserve Syd and the restaurant, and he did this to her.

Claire should have never happened. The universe is screaming at him. Claire should have never happened and he's missing his own showtime because he didn't listen, he wasn't there to watch Syd slowly unravel and give up everything for this crazy idea he roped her into.

But she helps him fix the table. She takes the reins when Carmy gets stuck. She sees the night through. And he sees her in all her glory and thinks, she deserves to trust me.

Carmy is so desperate to be devoted to something on a fundamental level and it was there within reach it was so so close, like fixing a table, like going through hell together, and the only thing he had to do was trust, but he has never trusted anyone in his life before. This is his big moment. And of course Syd is front and center for it.

[sonoranbumblebee]

Carmy is so desperate to be devoted to something on a fundamental level and it was there within reach it was so so close, like fixing a table, like going through hell together, and the only thing he had to do was trust, but he has never trusted anyone in his life before. This is his big moment. And of course Syd is front and center for it.

[sonoranbumblebee]

I wonder how anti-climactic S5 is going to be for us if it's loaded with reveals like

"Carmy fucked up Sydney's marinade so he could herd her out to brunch with his sexy little grey J. Crew sweater"

"Carmy spends his nights rereading her resume and her business plan and her recipe book"

"Carmy stole Coach K collage and makes art based on Sydney being hot because he feels guilty about jerking it to his idea of her"

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[sonoranbumblebee]

Wait is apples an American thing? That can't be right.

Also, Pink Lady hegemony

[juniper-is-in-the-house]

One thing I don’t get about Sydney is when she says to Carmy “you change your mind every five minutes” because… he doesn’t. He, in fact, NEVER changes his mind, that’s one of his flaws. He’s insanely stubborn.

We know Carmy has been like this from an early age. Chichi talks about how Carmy always knew what he wanted to do, unlike the rest of them. He decided to become the best chef in the world to prove to his brother that he was worthy of being a co-restaurant owner and stuck to that path for YEARS. Then he slightly deviated from that path by renovating his brother’s restaurant because he died. If Mikey had stayed alive Carmy would still be working at Empire, having a horrible time.

After his brother’s death, Carmy changes his path only slightly. He decides to start running his brother’s restaurant and he is firmly on that path UNTIL Sydney arrives. THEN and only THEN does he think maybe the restaurant could be better.

Carmy is firmly on the “let’s make this place chill” path until they find the money, then he pivots slightly to “let’s make this the spot I always wanted to open with Mikey except he’s dead now so I’ll open it with this insanely hot woman who makes me laugh and I think about all the time lol.” BUT THEN Sydney says she wants a danish style spot INSTEAD of family style.

Then and ONLY then does he change his original plan BECAUSE SYDNEY ASKED HIM TO. He then keeps on that path UNTIL Sydney asks for a Star, which he’s very much against because he knows what a fool’s errand that is, BUT THEN he starts doing everything he can FOR SYDNEY. Because he loves her.

Then he stays on the path of being a maniac, because, again, SYDNEY wanted a star, and everyone keeps begging him to change and he refuses. Because he’s stubborn, and what Sydney wants, Sydney gets.

FINALLY he changes everything because he realizes that he needs to remove himself from the restaurant to be successful (because he’s a complete pussy who can’t just go to therapy like a MAN but whatever). And BECAUSE OF THAT he changes the agreement but again, he only does that FOR SYD.

So no, Sydney, Carmy doesn’t change his mind every five minutes. He NEVER changes his mind, he’s very stubborn. He only changes his mind FOR YOU. BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU. I am beginning you to wake up and smell the yearning.

[sonoranbumblebee]

100 percent true

What she means but can't say is that he changed his mind about wanting to date her like four times

She knows her man and so she suffers horribly when he switches without warning from "yes, it's you and me forever" to "jk jk your food is not good actually and have you met my friend Claire and I'm never gonna leave you again except this one time"

[sonoranbumblebee]

They are both down so bad from the jump, and they both have no ego

Season 1, episode 2 starts with a scene of Carmy and Chef Fields and some hapless baby chef with a broken sauce, all in New York City. The cookware is fancy copper stuff. It's clean and high-strung and gourmet. Carmy is being psychologically tortured but you can see that the work is very high level. He is a chef prince in New York City.

Cut to: Appalling sandwich shop in Chicago. Everything is still chaos and filth.

Cut to: The gang is cleaning the kitchen after service.

Sydney is cleaning the range hood, which is probably a greasy sticky mess that hasn't been cleaned in years. You can see that her arm is aching from reaching up for a long period of time.

The first lines in this scene are an exchange between Syd and Carm.

Sydney: Chef, do you want me to strain that oil for you?

Carmy: No, no, I got it. Thank you, Chef.

I have never worked in a kitchen but I worked in movie theater once and cleaning the butter machine was the worst job. You feel like you'll never be clean after cleaning up rancid oil and grease. It's just sticky and a pain in the ass.

She is fully volunteering for a couple of the worst cleaning jobs in that kitchen. She's not delegating to Richie or Sweeps or Manny or Angel. She's putting herself at the top of the signup sheet. To be fair she is still staging but she's the only other trained chef in the restaurant besides Carmy.

But when she volunteers, he, chef prince of New York City and apparently unequivocally one of the best and most acclaimed chefs in the country if not the world, immediately responds "no baby don't worry about it I'll do that for you, you're too pretty for such things" 😂

She will do anything for his horrible restaurant.

He will do anything to make her happy.

They are ridiculous from the very beginning.

[thursbby]

’Cut to: Appalling sandwich shop in Chicago. Everything is still chaos and filth.’

it’ll never not be wild about them that theee culinary educated, worked at the best Sydney Adamu walked into that rusty, grimy place to see Carmy going through his daily internal meltdowns and still went ‘I’m sticking with this’(and ‘damn he’s fine’ in her head- I know this she did 😁 )

Idc idc they’re Love At First Sight

[only-one-brain-cell]

Just a reminder that this is Carmys face while meeting Sydney for the first time.

[unladyboss]

BEAUTIFUL LADY. AYO EDEBIRI SYDNEY ADAMU THE BEAR

Just posting the beauty again

[unladyboss]

WITH ALL OF HER ART. SYDNEY ADAMU THE ARTIST. THE BEAR

I haven't forgotten any of her dishes (I think)

All of them represented some important occurrence at the bear or outside of the bear

Here's the artist Sydney Adamu

Fennel salad was what sheade when Carmy made her part of the family on her first day

Cola braised beef with risotto- when Carmy told her that the dish wasn't ready yet.

It lead to the review episode and Sydney leaving Carmy at the bear

Then when she and Marcus met up after the trauma of the review episode, she cooked this mahi mahi for him and they shared a meal at her house

When they started renovations Carmy didn't fill Sydney in on an important construction detail after ditching their food tour.

She leaves, determined to cook on her own and finds that her ravioli tastes terrible when she's excluding Carmy from her creative process

At one point during renovations she makes an omelette for pregnant Natalie Berzatto, her sister-in-law. She adds potato chips and tells carmy

He uses the potato chip idea and tells her about it, hoping it will make her feel better about him

When Sydney goes to do her hair she makes a meal for her cousin TJ.

It's one of her best days since being at the Bear and helps her decide to stay and not leave with Adam Shapiro

Sydney makes a scallop dish and Carmy watches her do it with love in his eyes.

He tastes it and declares that it is perfect even though he now is sure she has never needed him and she may leave for good

He makes up his mind for sure to leave so that she will stay and he will always l ow where she is

[unladyboss]

COOL COOL BUT DOES EBRA REALLY NEED PEP TALKS?. THE BEAR

Richie is out here giving motivational pep talks to Ebra

However EBRA'S been quietly going about his business, making sandwiches and saving the Bear financially

Cool that you believe in him Richie

But the important thing is that Ebra seems to believe in himself

If this is about Albert being gone and Ebra being sad about it, way to go, comforting him

BUT If you're gonna hop on his band wagon at this late stage, don't crowd him

Because the Faks will soon follow

[unladyboss]

WHY THE RAIN? WHY NOW? SYDNEY ADAMU THE BEAR

They spent all the seasons talking about fire

The minute Carmy breaks Sydney's heart by telling her he's leaving, you get the storm of the century

It's so bad, that the basement is flooded

It's so bad that water is coming in through the walls

It's so bad that they're calling it, The Last Chance

Whatever it is that happening

Sydney seems to be the key.

Her grief is outta control(on the inside)

But

A little leak never hurt anybody right?

Carmy already had his turn

Remember we don't have time so they have to GET IT TOGETHER

[unladyboss]

WHEN SYDNEY REALIZED SHE COULDN'T HELP/ FIX EVERYTHING. SEASON 4 THE BEAR

Sydney's dad had a heart attack

She goes to see him

She's sorry she wasn't there and is ready to move back home, her dad tells her it would have happened whether she was home or not

Her blood ran cold

Knowing that her being around wouldn't help fix something that was DESTINED to happen scared her

She can't fix everything and everyone

She doesn't know what to do all the time

And THAT FRIGHTENS SYDNEY

She's probably gonna be very vulnerable soon and we'll see who is gonna be there to help her pick up the pieces

Richie already had a gift package sent (probably from the hospital gift shop) to his room before Sydney could even make it there.

We'll see if Carmy steps up and ACTUALLY does something (instead of thinking and wishing AND ASKING IF he could do something)

[unladyboss]

I LOVED SEEING RICHIE AND SYDNEY UNITE: SEASON 3 THE BEAR

So sweet

So good

So lovely

They both needed someone close to have their back

I think it also stopped them feeling lonely because they've essentially lost Carmy

RICHIE really needed some support

He is really alone now

I enjoyed that they leaned on each other

It was such a relief

[unladyboss]

BACK AT THE HOUSE. CARMY BERZATTO WITH DONNA BERZATTO THE BEAR SEASON 4

They filmed some of this when they were filming season 3

When Carmy was walking into and out of Donna's house

Come to find out he stayed

Made her a meal

Maybe they're on their way to reconciliation

It's always so dark INSIDE the house. It's like he's transport to a different time and place. Even his coloring is different when he's INSIDE.

His blue shirt looks black in there