Nova Aegis

Dragon fan art, Avengers, web comics, BBC Sherlock, Doctor Who, reblogs and Riordanverse. SAFE SPACE. EXPECT TO BE CALLED OUT ON DISCRIMINATION AND UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR.

[tonystark5ever]

I’m baffled

as to why people paint fury and tony as antagonistic towards each other. By far Fury shows the most compassion, the most affection, the most concern of anyone else on the Avengers.

tony does act resistant to join the avengers but to me that is very much an act (eg he kind of argues about natasha’s assessment). Fury does say he’s going to keep him as a consultant, but guys… don’t you see what I see? That it’s more to preserve tony’s fragile psyche? He knew he had to recover from nearly dying! All those pills and alcohol! He was giving him TIME and he was giving him a REASON to work towards it. 

gif from @auroratonys

HE has FAITH that Tony can become the man who we saw in Endgame cause im2 tony ain’t it y’all he didn’t have the strength of will YET but Fury saw it

“Are you that man? Are you? Cause if you are… you can solve the riddle of your heart.” THAT’s peotry guys! WHO SAYS THAT??

HE called on Tony (NOT cap, thor, or anyone else) to take the nuke, showing just how much trust and faith he had in his instincts and abilities.

And he knew what it cost!! Tony meant something to him! everyone was cheering but he was NOT what does that TELL YOU

gif from @grimestone

Tony makes him laugh

gif from @justinstheroux

Fury was the ONLY one tony confided in in AOU! BEcause He was the ONly one who ASKED

He EXPLICITLY DIDN’T blame Tony! “I’ve seen you come up with some pretty impressive inventions. War isn’t one of them.”

He worries about Tony! He listens to Tony’s suggestions and ideas!

VERY MOST OF ALL he trusts tony. he gives him that, even at times when it seems to make the least sense but it’s fury’s trust that enables Tony to become the man that can be trusted!

Anyway, he’s just an old man who cares very much about Tony and that’s all I’m trying to say.

[dragonsophie]

my take on this is and always will be that Tony is the only avenger who ever really lived up to what he expected of them after Captain Marvel. 

[itsallavengers]

things that dont deserve rights:

cheese

my dad

my lungs which apparently just dont work properly today

cold weather that doesn’t bring snow or cool black ice but is just Cold for no fucking reason

the little nazi gremlin in age of ultron who somehow managed to make it onto the Avengers in the next film

[muja-bunny]

Published erotica: terribly written, costs money

Fanfiction on ao3: Free, isn’t affaid TO JUST USE THE WORD ‘COCK’ FFS

[muja-bunny]

“His genitals, his privates, his hot length, his trobing rod, his magic meat stick-”

Me, in tears: Just say cock

[jumpingjacktrash]

published erotica: the parts that aren’t purple prose about vanilla sex are occupied by dithering and made up problems

fanfiction on ao3: the parts that aren’t sharp, clear prose about scorching kinky sex are occupied by tightly plotted suspense and slam-bang action

published erotica: not interested in the 99% of the market that’s heterosexual? that’s fine, we also have tender white middle class lesbians and slutty white middle class gay men!

fanfiction on ao3: one trans partner? both partners trans? genderswaps? how about a loving long-term threesome that does heist capers? we’ve got non-gendered angels, hermaphroditic aliens – some of whom lay eggs, if you’re into that – oh, and have i mentioned the robots –

published erotica: there, i put in a vampire, i’m such a genre rebel

fanfiction on ao3: i sent the avengers to hogwarts with the winchester brothers, i fear nothing on earth or heaven and only one thing in hell which is that my laptop will overheat in the fires of abaddon so i’ll have to write the sequel longhand

[muja-bunny]

It’s finally happened, this post has popped up on my dash

[webelieveinyoukris-blog]

Being gay is natural? Okay.

You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn’t just about religion or morals, it’s just simple common sense. Being gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn’t even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow “thing” to have children. That’s a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it’s not a real penis or vagina, then it’s fucking false and you’re just opinionated by dumb facts. I’m done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye

[yeinns-blog]

Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend

[queercakes]

I just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn’t we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own government or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing, won’t their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn’t it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn’t that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea, floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, floating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don’t fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a large group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen, return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so, wouldn’t they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people’s, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon!

[fieldbears]

Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: I too have these questions

[nothowtheforceworks]

Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn

[fieldbears]

Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I’m coming with you

[aspiring-weird-old-man]

*random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon*

[jezunya]

I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in floating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us.

(And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island)

[thatwriterchickyouknow]

OP’s nasty-ass post got turned into a goddamn sci-fi dystopian adventure and I’m so here for it.

[whalleyrulz]

oh my god Bisexual Buccaneers from Both-Ways Bay is both a porn tile and my new life goals

[space-flannel-deactivated201707]

i’m an asexual homoromantic does this make me our young heroine torn between worlds

[lectorel]

You spend part of your time on lesbian island, learning the stories, and traditions, and part of your time in the vast floating asexual cities, training with your eagle so that you can one day become one of the chosen few: the messengers, who carry letters and passengers between islands, jumping the heterosexual blockades. When you enter this select group, you’re assigned the job of collecting reports from spies pretending to heterosexual on straight island, flying in at the dead of night, risking discovery to collect vital intelligence. You fall in love with a pansexual girl who’s chosen to hide her orientation so she can aid the Resistance. At the climax of the novel, you swoop down from above on your giant eagle to rescue your lady love from a frenzied mob. As straight island burns in the background, you share a chaste kiss and cuddle while discussing the possibility of a mountain-top pansexual outpost.

[lynati]

IT CAME BACK AROUND AND IT GOT BETTER!

[x0utsid3r]

Someone please write this novel now!

[ohsoverywow]

http://io9.com/how-tumblr-users-transformed-a-homophobic-post-into-a-d-1744415742

THIS POST MADE IT TO IO9!

[zennie-fic]

Back around.. Both Ways Bay..

[khangi]

What Native people say about the use of sage: you can use sage, but you cannot smudge as nothing you are doing (waving sage around) is actually smudging. Smudging is a ceremony and you are, we promise, not smudging. Please buy sage from either us, or someone who sources the sage from us. White sage may not be considered endangered by the US government but corperate sourcing is making it difficult for us to source sage for our own religious purposes. Let alone to sell it.

What white people hear: never use sage ever, don’t ever buy it, don’t own it, don’t even look at it.

Look, y’all. There’s a couple of facets to my talk today.

1) Yes! You can buy sage! You really, truly can! Buy it from either native sellers (go to a powwow! Eat our food, buy our stuff, watch some dancing!) Or buy it from a seller who sources the sage from native people. Pick one. And no, buying it from 5 Below doesn’t count.

2) you CANNOT smudge. This isn’t just you “shouldn’t”— this is a YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF SMUDGING. Waving a sage stick around your doorways IS NOT SMUDGING. It is smoke clensing. Smudging, depending on the tradition and tribe, could easily have dancing and drums involved. You, as a white person, do not have the cultural BACKGROUND to even know how it works. At all. Period.

3) please, for FUCKS SAKE, stop making posts here on tumblr where you tell other white people about cultural appropriation and what they can and cannot do. Please stop, your license has been revoked because none of you bother to get the facts right. We native people are FULLY CAPABLE OF DOING IT OURSELVES. Consider instead: a) reblogging our posts where we talk about it! We’re here! We have made posts!! b) Making a post that states what we said and then LINKS BACK TO US. Screenshot with a link if you must. Stop centering your own voices in these conversations. You are already centered in everything, stop centering yourselves in a native space.

I’m tired of this nonsense, y’all.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk ™

[dragonsophie]

alternatively, grow your own sage! you can buy sage plants in garden stores, it's super easy to look after!

[writing-prompt-s]

Technology has advanced, and now the entirety of the Internet is in VR. Online conversations exist in real time, and people can interact with one another. People are actually there, playing games alongside others. YouTube is like a massive movie theater.

What’s Tumblr like?

[dragonsophie]

you walk into a room. It's dark and everyone is wearing a mask. people introduce themselves by pseuds. people are taller depending on the number of people looking at them, and if someone is very big, it's impossible to escape their echoing voice. Spiky five foot metal spheres bounce around the room, giving people viruses and unwanted pornographic pop ups. it is dark. 

[the-future-now-deactivated20170]

That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

[dopeluminarydreamer-blog]

Reblog if you:

Have an iPhone and are in need of repairs

Have a friend with that problem

Hate Apple and are more than happy to spite them in some way

No one will know which is it

[thivus]

he is currently fighting a legal battle with apple because they got the DHS to seize a shipment of batteries he ordered from China he needed to fix 2008 macs that apple refuses to service on the grounds of them being “vintage” but also don’t want ppl like rossman to be allowed repair them either

[unlikecharlie]

Y'all really are allergic to the reblog button on fics aren’t you 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[shoyowo]

it’s 👏 not 👏 hard 👏 to 👏 reblog 👏 fics 👏

So fucking do it.

[the-feather-theory]

I like to keep this blog pg-13 (mild cussing but no extreme sex stuff)

[unlikecharlie]

Yeah but this doesn’t apply to everything. My fic is G, perfectly innocent. No damn reason not to reblog if you liked it, but people are just used to receiving content on a platter without giving anything in return. It’s frustrating af to spend time on a fic or fan art and get 20 notes, only 2 of which are reblogs. Content needs to circulate and only reblogs do that. Otherwise why even bother posting if people don’t bother to share it? I already got 2 comments on ao3 for the very same fic. Here? Nothing. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, it’s just tumblr culture: take, never give.

[dragonsophie]

guilty admission; I very rarely reblog things because reblogging crashes my (ancient, slow) browser and its really annoying. 

[writing-prompt-s]

Rules for the road when traveling in northern Europe

Memorize your route. Your map can and will lie.

Take the safest roads.

Mountain passes shift between our world and another - do not leave your car when you are crossing a mountain pass.

If you see something you believe to be a bear, do not photograph it.

The snow does strange things to our eyes.

Borders shift.

Do not speak to anyone you meet further than a kilometer from the nearest building.

Not everything that appears to be human is.

You may eat at rest stops but leave as soon as possible. If there are no other guests there, leave immediately.

Don’t listen to birdsongs for too long - they will start to tell you things you’d rather not hear.

There are no shortcuts.

Something is looking at you, but it is indifferent to your existence.

The things beneath the soil would rather stay undisturbed. Don’t dig.

Bring a mirror and a clear head.

Leave all religious items at home. They will make a scent trail.

There is a reason we fear wolves, but it isn’t the one you think.

Do not touch scissors on the ground. Ever.

The wind will bite you. Cover up.

The longer you spend in the woods, the stranger the air gets.

Stay calm.

Never approach old houses.

If there is mist on the ground, do not be afraid.

Windmills are further away than they seem.

Don’t look into lakes.

Some farms don’t always exist. Don’t worry if you can’t find it on your return trip.

Don’t drink slow-running river water. If you do, there will invariably be a dead animal upstream.

Bridges are sacred places. Do not disrespect them.

Avoid wetlands.

There are no children out here, only false ones.

If you suddenly get lost, stay very still.

[roachpatrol]

ultimately i think kindness is the most radical thing you can do with your pain and your anger. it’s like, you take everything awful that’s ever been done to you, and you throw it back in the world’s teeth, and you say no, fuck you, i’m not going to take this.  you say this is unacceptable. you say that shit stops with me.

humans are fucking terrible and this awful world we live in will fucking kill you but if you are kind, if you are brave and clever and try really hard, you can defy it. you can impose on this bleak and monstrous structure something beautiful. even if it’s temporary. even if it doesn’t heal anything inside you that’s been hurt.  

i’m gonna sleep and i’m gonna wake up and i swear by everything in this deadly horrible universe i’m gonna make someone happy. 

[roachpatrol]

i’ve seen a number of comments and tags where people feel that they must swallow or repress their anger in order to engage in kindness. that is not at all what i am recommending here. radical kindness is an expression of anger. it is not passive. it is not repressive. it does not require you, in any way, to forgive those that have fucked you up. it does not require you to be quiet. 

it just requires that you be kind. viciously. vengefully. you fight back. you plant flowers. give to charity. play games. pet someone’s dog. scream into the dark. paint and write and dance, tell jokes, sing songs, bake cookies. you have been hurt and you don’t have to deny that hurt. you just have to recognize it in other people, and take their hand, and say: no more. enough. fuck this. no more. 

have a cookie.

i will say this again: we are all going to die. the universe is enormous and almost entirely empty. to be kind to each other is the most incredible act of defiance against the dark that i can imagine. 

[naamahdarling]

i will say this again: we are all going to die. the universe is enormous and almost entirely empty. to be kind to each other is the most incredible act of defiance against the dark that i can imagine.

[feminesque]

1. The universe is indifferent. We ought not be.

2. A good quote: There are two kinds of people. Those who think, “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.” And those who think, “I suffered; why shouldn’t they?”

3. Two good quotes by Kurt Vonnegut: “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies-“God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

And: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

[ariaste]

#hopepunk

[thesuninperigee]

“Hope is not a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. It is an axe you break down doors with in an emergency. Hope should shove you out the door, because it will take everything you have to steer the future away from endless war, from the annihilation of the earth’s treasures and the grinding down of the poor and marginal… To hope is to give yourself to the future - and that commitment to the future is what makes the present inhabitable.”

-Rebecca Solnit; Hope in the Dark

[afanofmanystuffs]

I really needed this right now. Thank you

[simonalkenmayer]

Indeed.

[higglety]

I think it’s important to clarify that radical kindness doesn’t mean you have to be kind to your abusers, or to asshole men in power (like the orange one or his horrible judge). It’s not biting your tongue, smiling, and allowing yourself to be mistreated in order to fulfill some sort of fucked up ideal of “the high road” or whatever. It’s refusing to allow anyone else to be mistreated without comment. It’s extending kindness to other survivors and other folks facing oppression, even when that oppression is different than the kind you face. The folks in charge want us broken down into easily-controlled bite-size chunks. Empathy, compassion, communication, cooperation, collaboration - these are kindness, and they are powerful, radical tools that we can use to help one another heal and to build our communities into something stronger and better.

[protectorofthesmoll]

Be kind out of spite.

[fuckyeahasexual]

so i id as an aroflux ace lesbian and i’ve been thinking abt my romantic orientation. i’ve had bfs in the past and we‘d cuddle A LOT bc im touch starved. while we were doing it i liked it, but after i‘d sometimes think about it and feel almost physically sick (you could say repulsed) and like i didn’t want to be around that bf. the cycle repeated itself. i’ve never had a gf so i don’t have any comparison in that sense. wondering if any aros/arospecs have had this experience n what it could mean?

Hmm I only time I’ve personally seen it is when your touch starved and then do the thing and then afterwards when the want was filled you start belittling yourself for wanting it. That expectation of you’re ace, how dare you. Then triggers repulsion because you start invalidating yourself. See if you are doing that and if so, stop it. You aren’t doing anything wrong.

Could it be because boys and not girls? Maybe. But I feel like gender would have to come into your thoughts. So if you were like no one I like is around, but this boy will do. And then after your like boys are gross, why always boys. That to me would be a hint that you actually want to be physical close to girls.

Can’t hurt really to try to get a girlfriend and see if it’s any better for you.

[dragonsophie]

I'm not ace so I don't know how well this might work for you, but if you have friends who'd be willing to just cuddle with you, that might help. 

Sources: it worked for me. 

@fuckyeahasexual

[90sjeno]

tag the reason that made u follow the person u reblogged this from

[assignedfaggatbirth]

listened to Bohemian Rhapsody today… i’m so very sorry

[assignedfaggatbirth]

If this post gets 100 notes I’ll recreate the entire song through memes

[assignedfaggatbirth]

OK so I’ll do my best to get this done soonish–it may be a week or two, but I’m doing it

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

[assignedfaggatbirth]

My masterpiece… is complete.

[chidi-anaqonye-deactivated20181]

op did not put in this much work for 160 notes

[doodleboots-deactivated20190129]

@musicalsandtrees

[scaldinghate]

I don’t know who to tag… This is a fuckign masterpiece

[wolfishhel-deactivated20201103]

I have seen a god and it was this fucking Tumblr post.

[oimatchstickman]

Fun Facts about Time Lords and Ladies for People Who RP/Write Fanfic About Them

AKA: There’s more biologically interesting stuff than just two hearts and the ability to regenerate [all facts taken from here]

Gallifreyans don’t sleep as much as humans do- they really only need an hour.

If one is severely injured, they’ll go into a sort of healing coma and appear to be dead with a temperature that could reach below freezing point. Their hearts beats would only be around 10bpm.

Their normal body temperature is also significantly lower than humans at only 60°F or 16°C.

Any mental manipulation powers (hypnosis, mind reading, ect) requires physical contact, though with some difficulty they can also communicate telepathically over a greater distance.

Gallifreyan blood has special platelets that allow for better recovery from an injury that doesn’t require regeneration.

In addition to being able to survive with just one heart, Time Lords can also gain conscious control over the beating of their hearts allowing them fake death by stopping them if they so wished.

They don’t have lungs.

No, seriously they’ve got a system of pulmonary tubes instead which means they float in water like a freaking boat.

But they do have 26 ribs (probably- some bits of canon say 24).

There’s also a respiratory bypass systems which means they can survive being choked/ poison gas/drowning/ect.

Sadly helium gas doesn’t make their voices squeaky.

Some sources say that Gallifreyans are born/loomed with only one heart in their first body and get their second only after regeneration. Those born naturally before the Pythia’s curse thing had two right from the start, though (this is a whole ‘nother bit of canon that I still have to fully understand myself).

They have two livers, too.

Ok this next bit is one of my favorites pay attention:

Time Lords and Ladies can get drunk/are susceptible to the effects of alcohol.

However, they can easily shrug the effects off because of their metabolism.

BUT

BUT IF THERE IS GINGER IN IT THEY CAN’T.

SERIOUSLY WHY ARE THERE NOT MORE FICS ABOUT THE DOCTOR GOING “OOPS DARN THERE’S GINGER IN THIS AND NOW I’M SUPER DRUNK AND MAKING EVEN WORSE DECISIONS THAN NORMAL. WHEEEEE CATCH ME ROSE/RIVAH/WHOEVER YOU SHIP HIM WITH!”

Don’t give them anesthetic though if they might die because that could make them not regenerate and that wouldn’t be good. Plus it doesn’t really work that well. 

DON’T GIVE THEM ASPIRIN EITHER THAT KILLS THE TIME LORD.

But the antidote is chocolate so.

Also they don’t need to brush their teeth really since tooth decay isn’t a thing that happens for them.

[rescueironman-deactivated201909]

For ~science: Reblog with your opinion about pineapple as a pizza topping and which side were you on for Captain America: Civil War

[tinynebula]

pineapple is fine, but usually i take it off the pizza and eat if separated, and team iron man

[dragonsophie]

pineapple and iron man

[yayroos]

For everyone’s information:

The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.

To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.

On the 17th, dead silence.

People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.

But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.

What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is ‘oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’

A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.

If you want to join in, here’s what to do:

Do:

Close all open instances of the app and site on all your devices before the 17th

Make posts before and after the 17th on tumblr and other platforms, talking about why this ban is bad

Make posts on other sites during the 17th. Flood the official tumblr staff twitter and facebook with your anger and your opinion

Come back on the 18th and check in

Don’t:

Delete the app from your phone (this doesn’t affect their revenue and since it’s off the store at the moment it’ll be hard to get back)

Delete your account. I mean you can if you want to, but if you keep your account and don’t use it you’re saying to staff that there’s still time to save it. If you delete it’s hard work to come back.

Open the app or website (including specific blogs)

Make any posts (turn down/off your queue and make sure nothing is scheduled)

Go quiet elsewhere. Make it clear that this is just about tumblr, not a mass move away from all social media.

Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.

Protests take commitment. They’re a defiant action against a business that is doing something wrong. They will try to scare you into not participating, because they’re scared. We hold all the power here, sometimes the execs just need to be reminded of that.

[dailysandersidesaudoodles]

!!!!!!

[not-close-to-straight]

A clint/sam/bucky get together road trip fic sounds so good now that you've talked about them! They don't even have to get together just imagine the hijinks those 3 good get into traveling across country or overseas!!

It would be a dumpster fire on wheels careening down the highway blasting shitty music with weeks worth of gross fast food in the back seat lolol

It could be fun

A “let’s do a Bro’s road trip like we used to because were all in our mid thirties and never see each other anymore”

There could be the “three bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart because they’re not gay” trope until Sam stands up and Clint and Bucky start screeching because he’s wearing a Rather Revealing Speedo and what starts as teasing turns into an uncomfortable “damn uh did you know Sam is apparently hung like a Clydesdale? Neigh, son, neigh.”

And the “oh no there’s only one bed” except they’re boys and bros so the entire night is spent crowded into the bed purposefully kicking each other and pouring water in Bucky when he snores and then everyone screaming because now the only bed is wet and their dumb asses have to sleep on the floor.

Clint changing the radio station every forty three seconds until Bucky ducktapes mittens he found at a questionable gas station to Clint’s hands

Sam falling asleep in the back seat and Bucky and Clint waking him up by screaming like they are going to be in a crash and Sam is so mad he doesn’t talk to them for the rest of the trip.

Eating fast food like “ask them if I can get a Big Mac.” “Clint it’s four fucking am you’re gonna have an egg McMuffin like a normal person.” “The hell I am, I need a Big Mac.” “NO ONE EVER NEEDS A BIG MAC EVER”

Trying to hit on girls and thinking it’s going well until one of the hot girls says “it’s so nice to hang out with you three, it’s nice to feel safe with big guys, since you’re all gay we don’t have to worry about you hitting on us/coming on to us/ checking us out!” And the guys all look at each other like “are we…. are we gay?”

Bucky has to change a tire when someone (Clint) tries to go off-roading and strips off his shirt for fan fiction reason and Sam and Clint are both like ?????? WINTER MUSCLES FOR THE FUCKING WIN.

Stopping by a strip club because you know, that’s what Super Straight men do, and it’s amateur night so Clint gets up and dances and boy howdy do they learn some interesting things about how Clint paid for college.

Getting in a bar fight and barely escaping with their lives and cackling wildly about it as they race away from the scene

Ending up in Vegas because why not and one of them hits it lucky in poker so they get a super nice suite for the night and end up on the balcony overlooking The Strip and looking up at the stars and realizing that even though it’s been a good ten years since they’ve even all got a beer together, somethings never change.

And then later that night, after enough alcohol to lower some inhibitions but not enough to pretend it didn’t happen, they realize that LOTS of things have changed and oh look, only having one bed isn’t a problem at all anymore