I have been waiting all year to post this.
omg
This has been in my queue for months.
I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
omg i didnt reblog this last year!
NASA
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ojovivo

blake kathryn
dirt enthusiast
Stranger Things

pixel skylines
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Love Begins
styofa doing anything
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Claire Keane
sheepfilms
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

JBB: An Artblog!

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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Misplaced Lens Cap
will byers stan first human second

if i look back, i am lost
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@drarrys-things-a
I have been waiting all year to post this.
omg
This has been in my queue for months.
I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
omg i didnt reblog this last year!
- Kenneth Rexroth
I see a lot of people who tell young people–especially young people who are heading into college–that they should “do what they love.” And they’re right. You should do what you love.
But there’s a world of difference between doing what you love for you, and doing what you love for a paycheck.
I went to undergrad for graphic design and 3-D design–art and more art, I usually say–and I loved it. You know what I didn’t love? Trying to collect my fees from clients. Trying to meet unrealistic, over-simplified or over-specific briefs from people who didn’t know what they were talking about. Coming home, having worked creatively all day, with no creative juice left for the things I wanted to do.
You know what I would tell you instead? Do something that you can be interested in, with people you like.
You don’t have to love it. Loving your work can be a lot, and it often means you have to live in your job 24/7. Some people can do that. Not everyone can, or should. But if you can find work that’s interesting enough that it doesn’t feel tedious, and people you can enjoy spending your 9-5 with, and you can make money, that’s great! It means you can do the things you love for you.
I’m in law school now. It’s interesting work, and difficult, and I like doing it. I like how complicated it gets, and I like the stories it tells. But I don’t come home and read law journals for fun. I come home, and I sculpt, and I draw, and I paint, and I read. I do these things for me.
And I love it.
Gods I wish I’d had this ten years ago when everyone was pushing for me to do art for a living. Probably wouldn’t have burned out as hard as I did
This.
Look, I followed my passions to culinary school, one of the best in the US. Of a starting class of 400, I was one of 50 to graduate, and I immediately got a job I’d been dying for for years. A few years later, I opened my own small catering company.
And through all of this, slowly but surely, I lost my love of baking. It got crowded out by facebook reviews and how much flour costs and did this person pay me so I can go buy their stupid ingredients? All of it went from something I loved with my whole heart to a *job*. To this day, I still struggle to want to do something I used to love so much. It’s the reason I’ll never study writing, and why I’m unlikely to attempt it professionally- I never want another thing I love and lose myself in to become my *job*.
So I’m back in school, studying something I find interesting. I’m using what I know and the experience I have to carve a niche for myself in my new field. It’s shocking how exciting it is.
So for all of you about to start college, have some unsolicited advice from a not-very-old lady:
Don’t follow your passions, wield them.
Take that thing you love, and let it be part of your life. If possible, apply those skills in your career. But don’t let the thing you love rule you, and certainly don’t let it break you.
OP is right, some people can’t live in their job, and I’m one of them. So now, in my late 20’s, I’m seeking a position where I can leave my work at work, go home, and enjoy cooking again for the first time in years.
Doing what you love is awesome, getting paid to do it is cool, but man, there’s something to be said for doing things for the sheer sake of enjoying them.
I have a graduate degree in illustration that I’ll never use professionally. Wish I’d figured it out before grad school loans but I took a look at the kind of work you have to do to survive (and that’s really all you do) and just said Nah, thanks. Not for me.
But I have family that sighs sadly and tells me I should do something with my art. It’s such a waste of my talent that I’m not using them.
Except I am? I’ve created my best artwork for fandom. My best pieces are for my favorite show. I’ve gotten acclaim from people who work on the show. Most of them have a print of my favorite piece hanging in their office.
I’ve had experiences and opportunities I never would have had because of my art. They’re not a waste because I wasn’t making money.
Undergrad in creative writing. I could never figure out how to make a goddamn LIVING with it. And I did try.
I’m a social worker now. I feeds me even when I’m unhappy. And my writing is what gets me through the bad times.
Your passion doesn’t have to pay your bills.
Yes! I feel like this is such important advice! Sure, there are people who live for their jobs and are happy with that, but I guess the majority of us aren’t.
For the longest time, I thought: give me a job I can be passionate about and I won’t need anything else! I literally said that to my classmates at university and to my co-workers at my first job. Little did I know then where it would lead me.
When I was in school, I didn’t really know what I wanted to be. I thought maybe a teacher, until I realized I hated school, why would I want to go back there? So I tried finding something else, I joined my school paper and that’s when I knew — I wanted to be a journalist. After a few internships at several newspapers, I knew writing for a paper wasn’t what I was looking for. So I became a TV reporter. It was fun at first, learning all these new things and everything, and there wasn’t much pressure since my practical training was at a local TV station with barely any viewers. It was like I had finally found my place in the world. I wasn’t the best student in school, I wasn’t the best dancer in my dance group, I wasn’t the best singer in my choir, but now, I was finally good at something.
I knew pretty early on what my life goal would be; working at the biggest TV station in the country. When I was 25, I achieved that goal. And I was miserable. Unbearably miserable. First, I discovered that my dream job wasn’t a dream job at all. It was torture. I was constantly unchallenged and what I thought would be a job where I could be creative was horridly uncreative. That’s when I first started getting depressed. I ignored the symptoms for years and years and became more and more miserable. What else would I do with my degree in literature anyway? Finally, almost three years ago, I discovered Tumblr, the drarry community and fanfiction. It was like I had found my place in the world again. So I started writing, almost every day, for two and a half years. Doing that with a full-time job that is emotionally draining isn’t very easy and I guess that’s why I burnt myself out completely. That’s why I took a step back from work, reduced my work hours, so I could spend more time doing what I actually want to do. I’m still in a weird place in my life and I have no idea where it will lead me, but having to accept that this job I was dreaming of for so long is so wrong for me was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. If I could do it all over again, I think I would choose differently.
So now, my next goal is completely coming to terms with the reality: my job is just a job, not my passion. My real passion is writing. And I’ll do that. It will take me a while until I’ll finish my original fiction, but I’ll get there. So yeah, like the others said — find something you like doing to pay your bills, and do what you love for you! 💙
What's the difference between Bucky Barnes, James Buchanan Barnes, The Winter Soldier,and Bucky? They're literally the same person. Why do you have different tags for them?
THIS is Bucky Barnes: tough exterior, still getting used to the world, beautiful man on the inside, highly confused, boyfriend material, still trying to figure himself out, smiley around Steve
THIS is James Buchanan Barnes: soft, likes science expos, Stark’s flying car was “eh” to him. The thing didn’t even stay off the ground, pre-war. Husband material, may or may not fall off a train. It really depends on when you turn the movie off, calls women “doll”,
THIS is The Winter Soldier: HYDRA’s play thing, murder bae, scary af, “Who the hell is Bucky?”, not dating material cause he’s an assassin, and also cause he’d forget the important dates. Probably hates old ladies. Probably going commando under those pants. Aka Bucknasty
THIS is Bucky: V handsome, Saved Sam from Spider-Man, war veteran, 100 years old, “What the hell is that?” , scared, straight outta cyro, has a ski jacket he obviously ripped the arm off of, also boyfriend material but he might forget some things, PTSD, needs everyone to be patient with him, will most likely let you play with his hair, #too old for this shit
I totally agree!
This is important
“Why don’t you post regularly?”
Well you see- I have this cool thing called
Depression
Can you imagine him murmuring lullaby with that metallic voice? Because I can’t stop thinking about it…
Bro...
What if we....?
no.. unless?
Draco: Jesus christ, is that a fucking gremlin?
Harry: ... Draco, that's a first year.
Draco: Whatever, just nobody feed that thing after midnight.
Magical encounter while free falling.
Can you imagine being that bird? You see a big falling dot off in the distance, so you go to investigate. And it’s a human. Just, like, hanging out, in the middle of the sky. Plumbing toward earth at terminal velocity.
“Huh, that’s weird” you think to yourself.
You land on them. They seem nonplussed by their predicament.
But you’re a busy bird, you’ve got places to be. So you just fly off. Good luck, crazy human. Hope you make it.
Sylvia Plath, Daddy // Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights // Euripides // Cigarettes After Sex, Apocalypse
The 25 Days of Shit Slytherins Say: #2
My Christmas list is short this year:
1) $1,000,000 in cash
2) The souls of all who have displeased me
3) A kitten
YOU HAVE ENTERED
RADICAL SATURDAY
Today’s Friday, though.
I see this post every Friday and I’m convinced that ya’ll are queueing this
I’ve lost track of time this is the only way I know its Friday please keep queueing this
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something
“Cowboys could be an invasive species” is an extremely hot take I wasn’t prepared for
They did very well when introduced to Australia.
a really tough time + gofundme
Hi, everyone. I know I’ve been quiet on here for a long time, for several reasons…chief among them is a double wrist injury that left me with nerve damage and unable to draw for several months. However if you followed the instagram I had until sadness made me disable it, you could see that I’ve been making progress on the drawing front for a few months.
But I have to do two things that I hate doing: apologize, and ask for something.
An apology: to everyone who paid $3-$20 for a comic and then had me ghost on them. Between my injuries and the other illnesses and animal sickness and job loss and general misfortune… I left you guys totally hanging and that wasn’t right. I’m going to tag everyone with open commissions down below so you can see this and know that i am back and working on them once more! <3 I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting
To ask for something on behalf of both my wife @camael-fanart and myself:
In the past year we’ve lost just about everything.
We are tens of thousands of dollars in debt and trying to keep our kitty Frances alive. The full details are in our gofundme:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/save-frances-help-eddie-pay-med-bills
if you want to read about the year from hell and how our situation went to crap. It’s been really scary. I’ll definitely post the gofundme again soon, but if drarry fandom people can share this I would be eternally grateful. I would never ask unless we were out of options- we’re selling most of our stuff but it’s not going to be enough to get out of the woods. My family has disowned me and my wife’s family is not well-off so we have no safety net anymore.
That’s all for now. Just want to thank you guys for everything- you’re good people and you have my love forever <3
Now for my commissions bros so you can see this comment: @goldentruth813 @phd-mama @shealwaysreads @buildyourwalls @seductresses-temple @bixgirl1 @thusspoketrish @fantom-ftnoise @keyflight790
I wish I had a happier update but today has been really hard. This morning, we woke up to Frances having a seizure. It was really terrible, one of the worst things I’ve seen (and I have seen family members die, but…the helplessness you feel when it is your baby pet is just so overwhelming). So we rushed her to the vet and they found out she was in shock, with a temp so low they were surprised she was still breathing. She is currently in an incubator getting fluids, but the vet basically laid it on the line: her still-not-cured UTI has infected one of her kidneys and her liver is starting to go from lack of food and fluids. Essentially our last shot at saving her is to get a feeding tube put in surgically now, tonight, and have meds, antibiotics, food and water and fluids and a ton of other stuff put in through the tube. They do think she can be saved this way. But, of course, it is expensive. We started to get ahead of a few of our vet debts with the incredible generosity of everyone who has contributed to our fundraiser. For you guys I will be FOREVER grateful no matter what happens now. But the debt continues to pile up. Today cost nearly $1000 already, and tonight when we move her to a more comprehensive vet for this emergency feeding tube surgery it will cost much much more. We are struggling. I made a vow to save my pets no matter what, and we are trying so hard to keep up. But this is scary. Beyond debtors and vet bills and med bills I am starting to be seriously afraid about losing our place to live, making rent, paying bills, all of that. We’ve opened as many new credit cards as we can to get ahead, but our credit sucks so much from all of this stuff that I’m getting declined for everything further now. I am hoping you guys can help again by spreading the word as much as possible. You have already helped us so much and I feel like a heel asking for more help. But it seems like our only option. Sorry for rambling, just pretty scared. Thank you and I will update more on Frances as we know more. Wish us luck tonight. Much love to all of you.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/save-frances-help-eddie-pay-med-bills
Alexandra Russell Save Frances, Help Eddie, Pay Med Bills So this is a story about the horrible year of 2019. Everything seemed to be going
type “i am” in the tags and whatever comes up first is your new mandatory kin
Solid mood
“The more psychotherapy an abusive man has participated in, the more impossible I usually find it is to work with him.
The highly “therapized” abuser tends to be slick, condescending, and manipulative. He uses the psychological concepts
he has learned to dissect his partner’s flaws and dismiss her perceptions of abuse. He takes responsibility for nothing that he does; he moves in a world where there are only unfortunate dynamics, miscommunications, symbolic acts. He expects to be rewarded for his emotional openness, handled gingerly because of his “vulnerability,” colluded with in skirting the damage he has done, and congratulated for his insight. Many years ago, a violent abuser in my program shared the following with us: “From working in therapy on my issues about anger toward my mother, I realized that when I punched my wife, it wasn’t really her I was hitting. It was my mother!” He sat back, ready for us to express our approval of his self-awareness. My colleague
peered through his glasses at the man, unimpressed by this revelation. “No,” he said, “you were hitting your wife.”
I have yet to meet an abuser who has made any meaningful and lasting changes in his behavior toward female partners through therapy, regardless of how much “insight”—most of it false—that he may have gained. The fact is that if an abuser finds a particularly skilled therapist and if the therapy is especially successful, when he is finished he will be a happy, well-adjusted abuser—good news for him, perhaps, but not such good news for his partner. Psychotherapy can be very valuable for the issues it is devised to address, but partner abuse is not one of them; an abusive man needs to be in a specialized program.
Therapy focuses on the man’s feelings and gives him empathy and support, no matter how unreasonable the attitudes that are giving rise to those feelings. An abusive man’s therapist usually will not speak to the abused woman, whereas the counselor of a high-quality abuser program always does.
Therapy typically will not address any of the central causes of abusiveness, including entitlement, coercive control, disrespect, superiority, selfishness, or victim blaming.
It is also impossible to persuade an abusive man to change by convincing him that he would benefit from it, because he perceives the benefits of controlling his partner as vastly outweighing the losses. This is part of why so many men initially take steps to change their abusive behavior but then return to their old ways. There is another reason why appealing to his self-interest doesn’t work: The abusive man’s belief that his own needs should come ahead of his partner’s is at the core of his problem.
Therefore when anyone, including therapists, tells an abusive man that he should change because that’s what’s best for him, they are inadvertently feeding his selfish focus on himself: You can’t simultaneously contribute to a problem and solve it.
Women speak to me with shocked voices of betrayal as they tell me how their couples therapist, or the abuser’s individual therapist, or a therapist for one of their children, has become a vocal advocate for him and a harsh and superior critic of her. I have saved for years a letter that a psychologist wrote about one of my clients, a man who admitted to me that his wife was covered with blood and had broken bones when he was done beating her and that she could have died. The psychologist’s letter ridiculed the system for labeling this man a “batterer,” saying that he was too reasonable and insightful and should not be participating in my abuser program any further.
The content of the letter indicated to me that the psychologist had neglected to ever ask the client to describe the brutal beating that he had been convicted of.
As a routine part of my assessment of an abusive man, I contacted his private therapist to compare impressions. The therapist turned out to have strong opinions about the case:
THERAPIST: I think it’s a big mistake for Martin to be attending your abuser program. He has very low self-esteem; he believes anything bad that anyone says about him. If you tell him he’s abusive, that will just tear him down further. His partner slams him with the word abusive all the time, for reasons of her own. His wife’s got huge control issues, and she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. She needs treatment. I think having Martin in your program just gets her what she wants.
BANCROFT: So you have been doing couples counseling with them?
THERAPIST: No, I see him individually.
BANCROFT: How many times have you met with her?
THERAPIST: She hasn’t been in at all.
BANCROFT: You must have had quite extensive phone contact with her, then.
THERAPIST: No, I haven’t spoken to her.
BANCROFT: You haven’t spoken to her? You have assigned his wife a clinical diagnosis based only on Martin’s descriptions of her?
THERAPIST: Yes, but you need to understand, we’re talking about an unusually insightful man. Martin has told me many details, and he is perceptive and sensitive.
BANCROFT: But he admits to serious psychological abuse of his wife, although he doesn’t call it that. An abusive man is not a reliable source of information about his partner. What the abuser was getting from individual therapy, unfortunately, was an official seal of approval for his denial, and for his view that his wife was mentally ill.”
—“Why does he do that ? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling men”
by Lundy Bancroft