[whatsnextapollo]

In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.

tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.

[whatsnextapollo]

Update: In The Santa Clause 2, the Easter Bunny says kids are 86% happier since Scott became Santa.  86%.  Clearly, the last Santa was so terrible, the elves had to off him.

Also, according to The Santa Clause 2, Santa has to be married in order to remain Santa, which means that the previous Santa must have been married - but there’s no Mrs. Clause around when Scott gets to the North Pole.  What happened to her?

And finally, I think this raises some pretty serious questions about Bernard’s sudden disappearance in between The Santa Clause 2 and 3.  Just how badly did Curtis want to be Head Elf?

Just how many people have the elves murdered?  Clearly those rosy cheeks and innocent, childlike faces are hiding some pretty dark secrets.

[piercingsandink]

Oh my god

[iopele]

now this is the kind of Christmas post I want on my dash

[bemusedlybespectacled]

well, now’s as good a time as any to confess that I still occasionally read fic on FFN and the one that’s been updating for literally longer than I’ve been on Tumblr is a Santa Clause fic where one of the previous Santas is a sadistic drunk who intends to sell the elves as literal slave labor in the Americas

[thehats]

You’re going to tell us that and not drop a link? You’re worse than Santa.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

It’s “In the Silence of the Night” and “Daylight Can Be So Violent” by graceofnight on FFN. XD

[sandersstudies]

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

[sandersstudies]

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

[hoonkus-deactivated20230701]

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

[sandersstudies]

Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).

You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.

[deliciouspaintthinner]

Girl: *calls for aid*

Every single dad packed into the car:

[sandersstudies]

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

[phil-dwyer-stan-account]

2020 remake of Twilight where everything is the same except the Cullens follow the Bon Appétite “creamy pasta with mushrooms and prosciutto” video when Bella meets them. Edward still tries to interrupt and say that Bella already ate, but Bella cuts him off and says “Is that Claire Saffitz?! I would die for her.” Bella gets to have a nice meal, chatting with the rest of the Cullens. All the while, Edward fucks off to his room to cry about how Bella would die for this random lady(national treasure), but hasn’t said that she would die for him.

[cipheramnesia]

I remember a more innocent time, when two bros would chill in a hot tub, six feet apart, not because of a global pandemic, but merely because they were not gay.

[sapphicambitions]

queer books that didn’t disappoint me the way everything else has. please enjoy.

[weirdnessisgood]

[berniesrevolution]

[zanmor]

these ones

[lavendermanna]

oh we can get even more specific than just a list of billionaires:

here are all of the scum who control oil, coal, and natural gas

here are the ones who run the factories

and here are the ones who extract the raw resources that the others need to make it all work

[libertarian-therapist]

23,000 people are reblogging a hit list

[bogleech]

Good.

[did-you-know]

Source

[ximune-blog]

I saw a news report about this on T.V., she was a straight A Student who had perfect attendance and everything. Everyone loved and respected her for her skills, but when she started this experiment and people thought she was pregnant, they started treating her like garbage. Even her teachers started looking down on her like she was scum of the earth. The only people who knew she was doing this as an experiment were her school principal, her health care teacher, her boyfriend, and her mother. Her own siblings thought she was pregnant! I mean even her friends turned on her, it was horrid. Very very sad, and as soon as she revealed during an assembly that the pregnancy was false, a lot of people were in shock as she brought up all the horrible things they said and did to her because they thought she was pregnant. The reason for the experiment was to see how people would react and treat her if they thought she was pregnant, as opposed as to treating her as the straight A “Perfect” student they usually did. And it proved that people were horrible scumbags to her as soon as they thought she was.

[inqueering]

holy shit. this is fucking awesome

[bolinator]

I read this chick’s book! It was so cool.

[kinkyconcepts]

Her book is The Pregnancy Project by Gaby Rodriguez

[boxlunches]

Pretty sure I reblogged something about this in the past, but now someone’s posted a book title and I want to read this book

[i-am-corbin-dallas]

I read the book and saw the lifetime movie

***SPOILERS*** 

She came from a family with a history of teen pregnancies but she was the exception to the rule. As her senior project she wanted to see how things would change for her if she “succumbed” to what was expected of her by society and statistics. basically she told her bf for his permission and one or two school officials (I think her sister or mother as well but I read it soo long ago).

The teachers who didn’t know immediately began to look down on her, most of her friends abandoned her. He bf's family told him to leave her and she basically became the school outcast. Only the other pregnant girls were friendly to her. At the end of the school year she made a big presentation to the school giving them facts about teen pregnancy and telling them about her experiences as a pregnant teen including things they had said to or about her. Then she finally revealed that she wasn’t pregnant. Some people were mad that she had tricked them but overall they understood why she had done it.

[northstarfan]

Assholes weren’t mad that she tricked them, they were mad because she exposed them for what they really were: a pack of shitheads.

[reasonandempathy]

“I know no one cares, but this is illegal.”

[unclefather]

Add it to the list, boys!

[prorevenge]

Dad left mom to be with homewrecker. Little brother exposed home wrecker on their reception. NEVER PISS OF MY LITTLE BRO(16)!

Dad cheated on mom and left her to be with homewrecker. Mom is a very strong woman. Myself and my little brother were quiet devastated. We went from having a perfect family to having to switch houses every week.

Mom went depressed but she kept a strong face for our sake. She encouraged us to be at least civil with her, so we could still have dad in our lives. I wanted nothing to do with him and the homewrecker. My little brother changed. He went from being a kind and respectful to kid to a kid with a mission. His words exactly “they’re both going to regret this”. My brother idolized my dad but now he wanted to hurt him.

Keep reading

[catchymemes]

When a random guy with a saxophone shows up to the club

[kittenoftheinternet]

they let him have a solo this is so wholesome!

[parisianqueen-deactivated202004]

During the most poor and homeless period of my life, I had a lot of people get angry with me because I spent $25 on Bath and Body Works candles during a sale. They couldn’t comprehend why the hell I would do that when I had been fighting for months to try and get us on our feet, afford food, and have an apartment to live in.

Those candles were placed beside wherever I slept that night. In the morning, I would move them and set them wherever I’d have to hang out. At one point I carried one around in my purse - one of those big honking 3-wick candles. I never lit them, but I’d open them and smell them a lot.

I credit that purchase with a lot of my drive that got me to where I am today. I had been working tirelessly, 15+ hour days with barely any reward, constantly on the phone or trying to deal with organizations and associations to “get help at”. It’d gone on for almost a year by the end of it, and I was so burnt out, to the point that I would shake 24/7. But I could get a bit of relief from my 3-wick “upper middle class lifestyle” candles. They represented my future goals, my home I wanted to decorate, and how I would one day not be in this mess anymore.

When we moved into the apartment, and our financial status improved, I burned those candles every single day. When they were empty, I cleaned them out, stuck labels on them, and they became the starting point of my really cute organization system I had ALWAYS planned to have.

So whenever I hear about someone very poor getting themselves a treat - maybe it’s Starbucks, maybe it’s a home deco item, maybe it’s a video game… I don’t judge them. I get it. I get that you can’t go without anything for that long without it making you go crazy. You need to pull some joy, inspiration, and motivation from somewhere.

[maraeffect]

poor people deserve things they want, too. it is unfair to expect poor people to only buy things they “need”.

[enide-s-dear]

My grandfather used to tell me: if you only have 20 kr left, you buy grocery for 10 kr and flowers for the other 10 kr because you need a reason to live as well.

[korrasera]

We are not machines and an unmet need is an unmet need.

[kurosmind]

There’s one (1) think in Disney’s Mulan that irks me.  The jaw line.  Mulan’s jaw line is drawn differently when she’s acting as Ping. No kidding: this is her “regular, Fa Mulan” face. In this version her jaw is even highlighted by the makeup. Look how round is it.

and this is her Ping jaw. Square. Totally square.

WHY?????  Isn’t consistency in the character base shapes like, an important thing??

Not to mention how she immediately regains her long lashes as soon as she is exposed. With her round jaw obviously.

????? 

[eorzean-cabbage]

That feel when you’re Asian and your father with a bad leg was about to be sent off to surely die in a war for your great empire so you squared up both metaphorically and physically.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

it’s on the fricking vhs cover

this has bothered me since 1999

[smaug-official]

Why do you have to come for Mulan like this

[ithotyouknew2-deactivated201710]

It’s called contour sweetie

[thequantumqueer]

[catsi]

Okay so I was at work and I had the hiccups and I was stocking an aisle and this lady in the aisle heard me hiccuping and said "oh have you got the hiccups?" and I said yeah and she said "...Do you want me to get rid of them?" and I thought she meant she was going to scare me so I was like "n-no thanks" and she was like "you want to keep your hiccups??" and I said "yeah please dont scare me" and then I wandered off

And then a couple minutes later I still had hiccups and she walked by on her way out and she said "I wasn't going to scare you you know" and I said "you weren't?" and she said "no -- I have a way I can cure hiccups" and I was like "well what is it?" she's like "theres something about me that when I talk to people their hiccups just go away. i just chat or maybe tell them a story and after a minute or so their hiccups are just gone" and I thought she was like definitely on some pseudoscience shit so i kind of laughed and joked like "you should expect a call from the X-Men soon then" and she said "no. For real. I bet your hiccups are gone now aren't they?" and sure enough my fucking hiccups were gone. They stopped while she was speaking to me and didn't come back all night

what the fuck kind of power did this woman have... was she a hiccup witch??? I have so many questions for her

[kaijuno]

Freshman year of college I was in a philosophy class and I was giving some sort of group presentation. The prof asked my group “what do you think is your purpose in life?” And none of them really had an answer while I just said “to make the world a better place for those who come after us” because in my mind that’s just the obvious answer. The prof looked kind of taken aback that I just had an answer on the ready and was like “Why? What’s your motivation?”

In that moment I realized I was in front of a lecture hall of privileged students. I was surrounded by people who didn’t know poverty or desperation like I had. I clawed my way here on scholarships while they were legacy kids or trust fund babies. In that moment it clicked in my head that there’s this level of empathy that you can only gain when you have absolutely nothing to lose. A level of empathy that only the impoverished have. A level of empathy that screams out that you have to fight to make things better even if it doesn’t benefit you. It’s a concept that you can only really grasp when you have nothing to lose and the kids before me hadn’t known that pain. They hadn’t developed that kind of empathy.

My only answer that I could give the prof was “Why wouldn’t I?”

[mostlyginger]

can we just talk about the time that Lupin was recovering from a full moon and Snape taught the DADA class and made all the students write essays on how to kill werewolves for Lupin to read when he got back I hate Snape so much it’s not funny

[mostlyginger]

Lupin gets back and he feels like crap and suddenly his best friend’s son is writing an essay about how to kill him like that is so fucked up

[take-my-eeveelution]

Bear in mind that an ex-Death Eater does this to someone who was in the Order, risked his life fighting against said Death Eaters and lost his best friends to the Death Eater’s genocidal leader, for the sole purpose of screwing him over, and as far as we know he experiences no consequences whatsoever for doing so.

[kn-rainbowblood]

And if that wasn’t enough, he made them write those essays hoping some of them would realize Lupin’s a werewolf. And one did, but Hermione is a fucking DECENT HUMAN BEING and said nothing. Apparently the ‘insufferable know-it-all' can keep her mouth closed, when it’s for something important. Just like Snape didn’t do at the end of the book.

I’m getting mad, so here’s something I’ve realized while reading The Order of the Phoenix again. (Please keep in mind that my books are in Italian and some concepts might be hard to explain, I apologize for my English mistakes)

In chapter 14, when The Trio talked with Sirius, he said that two years before Dolores Umbridge had written a law against werewolves that made it almost impossible for Lupin to find a job.

Now ask yourself this question. Why two years?

What had happened two years before? During Harry’s third year? Oh, right. The Magical World had discovered that one of Hogwarts’ teachers (someone who was in constant conctat with their children) was a werewolf. Does that ring any bell?

But that’s not all! If we take a look at chapter 15, in the Daily Prophet article we can see a familiar name: Remus Lupin. In a newspaper. Where everyone can read it. “The werewolf Remus Lupin”. No wonder he couldn’t find a job! And it’s not the first time the Daily Prophet has written about him, as it’s stated in the article itself. There must have been a huge scandal when it had all come out.

So basically, when Snape decided he couldn’t bear not having what he wanted (for example, SIRIUS BLACK GETTING KISSED BY A DEMENTOR) and spilled the secret, he didn’t only tell the whole school. He didn’t only tell the kids’ parents. The told the whole Magical World.

He told the whole Magical World that a man who had kept his condition secret all his life was a werewolf.

And the Magical World responded with a law against werewolves.

So, basically, Snape didn’t only ruin Remus Lupin’s life. He ruined the life of every single werewolf in the UK.

But, you know. Bravest man I ever knew.

[queenwhiskey]

What food group is honey what the fuck is this stuff

[violetvappy-deactivated20220306]

Apparently its categorized as raw meat by the FDA, which is cursed information if I’ve ever seen it.

[queenwhiskey]

WHAT

[weaselsblaugh]

I wonder if this is due to tax reasons (why tomatoes are taxonomically fruit, but legally vegetable) or religious reasons (why beavers are considered fish, for purposes of Lent).

[dayst-ooc]

“Beavers are considered fish, for purposes of Lent”

If I’m being honest here, I don’t know what to do with this information.

[toffeecape]

IIRC hippos are also catholically fish.

[assassinationtipsforladies]

You know what, if you can take down a hippo you deserve to eat it during lent