I'm here now. Hell.

Avatar from @papier-ciseaux

[teaboot]

Not to be rhe ten millionth person to say “USAmerican President Donald Trump Is An Incoherent Public Speaker Whose Train Of Thought Can Be Best Described As Scat Jazz” but I just remembered that when he talks at international events it is several dozen people’s job to translate what he’s saying and what he intends to say to world leaders in real time

And I desperately wish to hear how they do it

[teaboot]

If anyone reading this isn’t fluent enough in English to understand the sentences that man says, please know that he has essentially mixed a number of adjectives and topics together in a hat and is pulling them out at random like a horrible children’s game

[teaboot]

Like that waxy jaundiced bitch will straight up be like “J'étais sur internet l'autre jour – internet, la plus grande invention américaine. Et la Chine a “internet aussi. Pas un bon internet, pas comme le mien, j'ai un internet formidable. Les gens me disent : « Donald, ton internet est génial ! » On adore l'internet de Donald. Mais la Chine… Chine, Chine, Chine… Vous savez qu'ils mangent des oiseaux ? C'est terrible. J'adore les oiseaux. La Chine mange des oiseaux. Pas comme nous. Pas comme mes oiseaux. Mais vous savez, c'est comme ça, et c'est terrible. Mais voilà ce que je vais faire : je vais sauver les oiseaux. Je vais sauver internet et sauver les oiseaux. Tous ces magnifiques oiseaux. Pour l'Amérique. Et la Chine va nous détester pour ça. Ils vont nous détester parce qu'on est les meilleurs sur oiseaux”. And people will lose their minds

[angryraptor13]

International translators have had this problem for A While - if they *don't* clean up what he says to sound coherent, they look like they're doing a bad job.

Why is difficult to translate Donald Trump? Trumpslation explained.

Explore Trump translation challenges, tips for interpreters, and 2025 strategies for accurate political translation and Trumpslation success

[teaboot]

oh my god

[freckles-a-constellation]

There was a scandal in Poland because one translator decided to translate him accurately, tone, vocabulary level and word salad tangents and all. Polish conservatives who don't speak English and previously only heard smoothed out translations that sounded coherent and used big words were up in arms about how the translator was "inserting her political agenda", "mocking him", "exaggerating", "purposefully trying to make him look bad" and "incredibly unprofessional". I listened to the translation in question. It was literally just accurate.

[kimbureh]

5. Sensitive and Controversial Language Trump’s speeches occasionally contain misogynistic, sexist, or inflammatory language. Japanese interpreter Tsuruta, for example, faced challenges when translating sexualized remarks, ultimately opting for standard terminology to maintain professionalism. Similarly, Chinese translator Kumiko Torikai found certain lewd expressions ethically challenging, ultimately leading to her retirement. Navigating these situations requires skillful balancing of accuracy, professionalism, and cultural sensitivity, ensuring that the translation is appropriate without distorting the original intent.

I don't know why the authors of PoliLingua act as if Trump's verbal misogyny and racism wasn't very much part of his "original intent".

it only now dawns on me that millions of people on this planet think Trump is way smarter than he is because translators have neglected to relate his violent speech accurately out of misunderstood politeness. Make the ape sound like a ape

[cosmogyros]

We had a mini-scandal in the German translation/interpretation community last year about exactly this – the interpreter for the inauguration got sick of Trump's incoherence and made a remark into his mic that was not intended to be heard (here's my post on it).

[writingdose]

this and also the only difference between fanfic writers and writers who sell their own original works as careers is that fanfics aren’t monetized. that’s all.

being a “professional” writer doesn’t mean your works are inherently better than fanfics. I’ve read so many fics that are more professionally written than some published books.

whether or not a piece of writing is monetized has nothing to do with its quality.

[chase-solidago]

thinking about what is and what isn't allowed in frame with reference ecosystems in prairie restoration

[easily-evi]

How to make a seamless pattern in CSP! (This tutorial requires some basic knowledge of cut/pasting/merging layers) If you'd like to learn how to create simple foliage similar to the example I'm using, I recommend my other tutorial here! Thanks for reading! 🍀 Bluesky | Ko-fi

Edit: I just found out a different method that doesn't require any keys, so here's a quick little addition! Thank you for the feedback!

[dyingroses]

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

“A kiss may be grand, but it won’t pay the rental, on your humble flat, or help you at the automat.”

Like literally the most famous song about how much girls love jewellry is just explaining the importance of getting jewellry for when your partner leaves you penniless and alone.

[ohheyheyitsjj]

The founder of Girl Scouting in the US, Juliette Gordon Low, funded her first troop by selling her pearl necklace, which was her only belonging after her husband died and left everything to his mistress.

She founded Girl Scouts to teach girls self-sufficiency so they wouldn’t have to go through what she went through when her husband died and she didn’t know how to take care of herself.

[penrosesun]

While we’re on the subject, let’s please also remember that historically disenfranchised communities who had to worry about frequently being run out of town often bought expensive jewelry with their limited funds not because they were greedy or tacky or classless, but rather because you can’t sew a real estate investment into the lining of your coat, and the powers that be can’t freeze a diamond necklace the way that they can freeze a bank account.

[statictay]

once again i love how star wars takes place in a massive galaxy with thousands of planets and billions of people, and yet every bounty hunter knows each other personally

[dragonfox-in-a-teacup]

It's called networking babe

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

when Boba Fett adds you on LinkedIn you know you've made it

[simplyjustfucked]

[counterpick-me-irl]

SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ask me about the difference between leopard/cheetah/jaguar print, it’s my field of expertise 

[woundedtoaster]

What is the difference? Please learn me a thing

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

cheetahs got dots! little dot dots i want to bop

leopards got filling. it’s cheetah 2.0. Cheetah on meth. look at that leopard shit. 

then there’s jaguar. Jaguar is madness. it took leopard print & decided wait. what if–MAW DOTS. it’s just leopard print with dots in the middle, it’s chaos

look at this bullshit

i’m angry just looking at it

so in ascending order: Cheetah < Leopard < Jaguar

C.L.J. someone come up with weird mnemonic for that, i’ve done enough work for you greedy bastards

[shakingmyfistatgod69420]

Cats love jazz

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

there it is

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Cats. Love. Jazz.

[jessilynallendilla]

[pigswithwings]

If you don't feel interested in romance, don't often have crushes, or dislike the idea of romance in general, I have news for you: Rare Sierra Nevada Red Fox Spotted In Southern Sierra Area For First Time In Nearly A Century

[willjulep]

Can you guys watch my fairy tale prince with the lamb motif and my jaded knight who sees himself as nothing more than a starving and desperate wolf while I step out for a moment? And DON'T 🫵 let them kiss.

[willjulep]

I'm starting to think that none of you are taking this seriously

[sandersstudies]

My sister-in-law (husband’s sister) was supposed to get married this fall but due to some immature/concerning behavior by her fiancé, the wedding and engagement were called off. (I don’t want to be too specific, but there were sudden red flags, followed by his sudden decision that he wanted to postpone the wedding months or years despite the fact that most of it was paid for already).

I explained the delicate situation to my mom, as my sister-in-law is letting the news get out by word-of-mouth from the immediate family rather than an awkward “unsave-the-date”. My mom obviously told my own family.

Apparently my dad was so angry by the behavior of this guy that in the lunchroom at work he made everybody listen to the whole story (censoring names and identifying details) and said “I’m not crazy, right? This guy sucks!” And then reported back to me all his different coworkers that agreed this guy sucks, as well as their variety of ages/genders to indicate widespread consensus.

[alexaloraetheris]

Organically sourced AITA reddit thread.

[sandersstudies]

I wasn’t sure if my vibes about this post would come across over text but you all picked up exactly what I was putting down.

[average-smoothie-enjoyer]

My favorite “humans are space orcs” idea is that trope where aliens kidnap some humans for their zoo, except it ends up like Jurassic Park. And the poor Alien Humanologists who were invited to the park are like:

“You mean you locked up a pack of curious, highly competitive persistence predators with NO enrichment in the enclosure? You FOOLS! If you had bothered to throw a basketball or half a box of Legos in there, KE-X9 would still be alive!

“Well of course they climbed the retaining wall! Did you think to study their evolutionary lineage AT ALL?”

[what-even-is-thiss]

The humans would find a way to use the basketball and legos to escape. I mean one time a guy somehow escaped from a prison in Mexico without breaking any laws so his escape would be legal so honestly given enough time the Jurassic park situation is inevitable.

[elidyce]

Jurassic Park would be awesome, but now that I think about it I also kind of love love the idea of humans as the alien zoo equivalent of those octopuses that climb out of their tanks and wander around taste-testing other exhibits or throwing sub-par shrimp at handlers. 

Like they’re totally unable to figure out what’s happening because the cameras keep going out, but every night things get moved, or stolen, exhibits are disappearing, WHAT IS GOING ON, they’ve moved facilities twice and it’s still happening, are they haunted, are the ancestors angry, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

And then a weary humanologist is all ‘… your humans are getting out’. 

“That is impossible.” 

“They’re getting out.” 

“That enclosure is COMPLETELY SECURE.” 

“And yet somehow they’re getting out.” 

“THE HUMANS ARE NOT GETTING OUT.” 

“Oh yeah? I bet you twenty glarks they’re getting out. Stay after closing time with me and I’ll show you.” 

*next day*

“… the humans were getting out.” 

“… why did they keep going back in, then?!”

(In a deeply embarrassed mumble) “They said they weren’t going to escape until they finished their behavioural experiments. Uh. On us.”

[weaselle]

two things come to mind:

1 - at our own zoos the MOST notorious jail breakers are the orangutans, who exploit all manner of methods, including literal lock picking. One orangutan, Ken Allen escaped several times WHILE THE ZOO WAS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC without getting caught by watching Zoo employees, even when they tried to disguise themselves as tourists to catch him at it. While he was being “secretly” surveilled, he managed to escape AND show the other orangutans how to escape. They finally found out he was doing some thought-to-be-impossible rock climbing to escape. To fix it, they brought in a team of human rock-climbers to locate all possible methods of climbing out. So. Humans would absolutely be the worst to try to keep contained. Like, “escape rooms” are currently seen as a fun date idea. I’m sayin.

2 - animals that escape most often return to their own enclosure (after all that’s where their beds and dinners are, and if the zoo is any good it is the place best suited to their species-specific needs for miles and miles) after they have had sufficient excitement. Ken Allen the orangutan would escape and wander around the zoo looking at the animals like he’d bought a ticket. So if the keepers were nice, and formed a bond, and the set up was comfy, once the human knew they could get out if they really wanted, they’d probably go back, depending on how uncomfortable/dangerous the alien environment was.

I mean if they were raised in captivity. Wild-caught humans, all bets are off; depending on age of capture a return home could be a full blown obsession, the sabotage of engineering from mechanisms up to entire facilities is a strong possibility, and they may go on a murder spree with improvised or stolen weapons if desperate.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Humans consider an Escape Room to be a Fun Courtship Ritual

[yehudah]

trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine

[they-were-a-skater-gay]

How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. I’m not saying they can’t be but how would they communicate that.

[yehudah]

:/

[schizm-deactivated]

this is so fucking funny

[specialstarfish]

update:

[fortooate]

we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor

[the-dao-of-the-zerg]

[ineedatumblrforthisshit]

In like 1998 my very femme lesbian friend went to Pride in London and was all excited at the “teddy bears picnic” happening in one of the city parks. She took along a picnic hamper and her cuddly teddy bear. Needless to say, the large hairy gay men all thought she was adorable and she had a great time

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[phantomrose96]

You know the. You know the Femme Fatale "I grew up with 10 brothers so I know how to fight" character?

That's

That's Roy Mustang

Just the opposite.

Roy "I grew up with 10 sisters so I know how to disguise covert information reconnaissance as flirting" Mustang.

"I grew up with 10 sisters so I know how to weaponize my sexual charm to disarm others and win favor."

Roy led every higher-up to believe he was just a fuckboy and a manwhore in this for his own ego and that they shouldn't view him as any kind of violent revolutionary like "no sir I'm just a slut."

Roy Mustang.

[phantomrose96]

I'm surprised I didn't say this in the original post but to specify: Roy Mustang grew up in a brothel, specifically he grew up adopted by a woman running a brothel where, specifically, all the women there are in the business of covert information reconnaissance by playing escort to important politicians.

Which. is an absolutely batshit primary character backstory to mention once, late in the series, and then immediately move on from.

And actually Hiromu Arakawa did it so well that every single fan interpretation of Roy Mustang for the FMA03 anime treated him as an honest to god man-slut. Bought his whole act hook line and sinker.

And you do, in fact, need to get further into the manga/Brotherhood to realize he is just acting like a slut because surely a true and honest hand-to-god slut like this guy wouldn't be overthrowing the government.

[itspileofgoodthings]

one of many (many) reasons I love Austen so much is she makes goodness and virtue seem as sexy as they actually are.

[lydiahosek]

#there is not this false dichotomy of good and safe (but boring) and bad and dangerous (but attractive) #when you strip things down to their essence #bad behavior and un-virtuous behavior. literally vicious behavior #is #so #unsexy #and goodness is so attractive!

[catchyvideos]

OP aycenewman1231 on TikTok ♡