lucretia: it is pride month, reclaimers. you know what that means
taako: what
taako: do you want us to reclaim, like. gay slurs
taako: what
i don't do bad sauce passes

⁂
taylor price
No title available
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi

oozey mess
trying on a metaphor

JVL
Sweet Seals For You, Always
🪼
NASA
h
Misplaced Lens Cap
RMH
cherry valley forever

Product Placement
Stranger Things
Not today Justin
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Romania

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from France

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Peru
seen from Germany
seen from Brazil
seen from Poland
seen from Ukraine
@ducknewton
lucretia: it is pride month, reclaimers. you know what that means
taako: what
taako: do you want us to reclaim, like. gay slurs
taako: what
[ID: an ask reading: “could you draw the voidfish?” followed by traditional art of Fisher and Junior from The Adventure Zone, who are a big and small jellyfish with sparkling galaxy patterns inside. Junior is holding up a carved wooden duck. End ID.]
redrobes more like radrobes amirite
[image description: a drawing of Lup in her red-robed lich form, dabbing as she hovers over her elf body on the ground. Lup’s elf form has light brown skin, freckles and long, curly dark brown hair. Her eyes are little x’s and her tongue is sticking out. The space inside the hood of her lich form is completely dark, and her hands are skeletal. Her lich form is surrounded by little white diamonds, and her unconscious body is circled with a ring of smoke.]
[ID: A comic drawn in black lines against a white background. Barry, a middle aged, human man, is standing in front of Lup, an elven woman with curly hair and freckles. She is seated on the arm of a chair and he is standing before her, wearing a slightly singed cape and holding her hands. He looks down at her as he says, “Right, so Lup, I would kneel and all, but a couple years ago I broke my knee and my doctor said I should avoid doing strenuous activities like that. Did I ever tell you that story? I was rock climbing, or well not rock climbing like the actual sport, but there were rocks and climbing involved. I was in my back yard. I should show you the spot sometime, anyway. I would kneel, but I got a bad knee, so I’m gonna stand instead. I guess you can kneel if you want, but anyway wanna get married?” Lup smiles and nods, tears welling in her eyes. She jumps up and pulls him into a hug, yelling. “Of course! Yes, yes absolutely!” An audience of other elves applaud awkwardly. There are exclamations of “uh” and wow,” and “eh?” One particular elven woman in a shall and many jewelry says, “Oh, Congratulations.” Another elven woman with short, curly hair and big earrings asks, “How long have you two been dating?” Lup and Barry both exclaim delightedly, “Three weeks!” There are sparkles around their faces. Taako’s hands immediately fly up to his mouth to poorly muffle the sound of his pained laugher. His shoulders are shaking and there were tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes. Kravitz asks, with some concern, “Are you alright dear?” End ID]
Based off of The Worst Candlenights Ever by @kravkalackin, which was one of the first fics I read when I got into TAZ and still kills me every time, this scene in particular. Also the first panel is type because I couldn’t get all the words to fit with my handwriting. Happy Candlenights!
merle highchurch is character of all time. chooses to be a priest like some people choose to be accountants but becomes his god's favorite anyway. fucks plants. absentee father who makes it right but knows the hurt will never go away. jealous of a ten year old. relentlessly pesters man who cuts his arm off to save his life simply because he swung the axe. doesn't hesitate to say no when he's offered a fix for that. plays chess with the embodiment of cosmic horror homicidal nihilism. chooses joy. chooses joy. CHOOSES JOY!!!!!
i feel like a lot of people see it as a flaw in storytelling when an actor's personality bleeds into or eclipses the typical characterization of their character but personally i think one of the funniest things abt taako adventurezone is that he is sometimes temporarily possessed by a deeply socially anxious nearing middle aged suburban father . its a core component of the character that i feel cannot be ignored
my irrationally large but fully canonically justified pet peeve about a really minor thing in taz balance fandom is people saying that barry and lup had crushes on each other for 47 years before they admitted it. because that would imply that they fell for each other at first sight, like within the first cycle — but at least to me, the whole appeal of canon blupjeans is that they didn't! when barry, quote, "felt it first," it was "during a particularly challenging year," implying they were past the first cycle by then (because otherwise griffin would just say cycle 1), and most likely, they'd even gotten far enough into the century for the "average" difficultly of a cycle to become at least vaguely established. then lup "wasn't far behind" all the way on cycle 17, the robot world, where she had her realization, and like... her feelings didn't just spring into existence fully formed out of nothing when she saw barry getting zapped by one cute robot one day; there was definitely a gradual buildup, but like. there's nothing in the framing whatsoever that suggests they were "in love at first sight" and "in denial starting from the first cycle," as opposed to just. falling in love slowly. it was a love they cultivated "quietly and cautiously" — because they had all the time in the world, as the people they trusted most were happy to remind them. and i like that because i like slowburns. not policing how people wanna characterize them or AUs or what have you, but the slowburn is canonical and heart-meltingly gooey. they're not love at first sight, because they're something much more uniquely barry and lup about it all, and that's beautiful
the post-hodgepodge bit where angus is crying and the boys bully him is absolutely one of my top-tier angus moments. they’re treating him like the baby of the family. director slap angus for me. someone quick get a picture. now kick him right in the butt. make some spaghetti and push him into his spaghetti. call him some names.
and angus is just like 🥺 i’m so glad that the three of you are alright. and the boys 😬🙄 can we talk to an adult.
i will never ever ever ever ever ever get over the gang's first interactions with lucretia in the first lunar interlude. griffin is playing the Regal and Very Serious and Deadpan Madame Director, and they're all meeting her for the first time. they have absolutely 0 rapport with each other, but she plays along with their jokes, and even makes jokes of her own. other NPCs are actively annoyed by their goofs, but not the Director. shes Regal and Serious and Sarcastic and Familiar.
and griffin probably wasn't planning this far ahead at that point, but knowing what comes next. knowing how it ends... it all just lends itself so perfectly to the fact that these interactions are Lucretia Reuniting With Her Friends. realistically she's a stranger to them, but they get along so well and so immediately, that on re-listens it really does make you think "they are her best friends, there's nothing else it could be. they are long lost friends."
relistening to Taz and I'm really enjoying listening to each arc and relating it to the relevant bird.
like yeah here there be gerblins is about lup it's about you should have thought about that before throwing my dog in the fire, it's about falling in love with Barry Bluejeans, it's about trying to save so many people but failing, it's desperate odds and flying away from a disaster you couldn't avert, it's about being bitten in the back by an earlier decision to trust someone.
murder on the Rockport Limited is about Dav. It's about seeing the truth behind the illusion. it's about a town of people all with the same face. it's about losing the driver and trying to save the vehicle without him. it's about the youngest member of the crew holding a book that catches the truth and stops it reaching its destination. it's about beheading and loss of identity. It's about remembering to get your roommate pringles
petals to the metal is about Merle. It's about don't be chopping on these sweet sweet babies. it's about reaching out to someone you love who has been consumed by a power they can't fully control. it's about dying in the hope they can be saved. it's about racing as fast as you can, with all that you have, in the hope that something can be saved in the end.
crystal kingdom is about taako. it's about loving someone you've lost so much you'd turn the world to crystal to try and save them. it's about Kravitz. its about learning more from thousands of realities to make new and wonderful things. its about walking through your legacy. its about the best sandwich and taako's good out here. its about seven birds being seen, its about the thousands of lives that Boyland touched
the eleventh hour is about Magnus. It's about rustic hospitality. it's about recklessly breaking reality trying to protect people you love. it's about fate and choices you make in life. it is being a small town hero. it is making promises and keeping them. it's about the downfall of a corrupt leader and the people he took down on his way. it's about fallen temples and burnt out buildings. it's about embracing the inevitable and holding the hand of the clock that strikes your doom as the weapon that will save you
the suffering game is about Barry. It's about looping through endless pain again and again in the hopes of reaching a dream. it's about liches and death and love. it's about losing your body and being saved from permanent death by the power of your friends' love. it's about working out how things are working and then pulling them apart to understand them. it's about choosing to lose everything in the hopes that it might let you save something. arms outstretched. trust Barry, love Barry
the stolen century is about Lucretia. it's one hundred years of journals. It's learning world after world and watching them die. It's working to protect those you love by saving the light. It's about running away again and again, and loving only in goodbyes. it's about being alone and dying again and again. It's about bonds growing stronger even as something comes relentlessly to consume them
story and song is about the starblaster flying into, not away from the storm. it's about hear that babe, we're legends. it's about bringing together all the arcs and all the relics into one hope to undo mistakes. it's about the magic in a bardsong. it's about the light of creation being used as a barrier against darkness.
Do you ever think about how Barry died to Lup's relic. Do you think the flames felt familiar? And that Despite his fear there was a sense of safety to them?
you've all been blinded by duck and the firbolg's lying skills that you think taako was a good liar and it's astonishing. he's at max a below average liar. he's a shitty shitty liar but he had confidence and charisma. this is the man that broke down on a train and introduced himself by at least four separate names. this is the man that explained away the sound of stolen gold in his bag by saying he was collecting bottle caps for unicef. this is the man that when asked who he was by a goon invented an entire backstory between him and said goon and when the goon told him "uh that never happened and I don't know you" he just killed him. the greatest lie taako pulled off was that he was a good liar
my favorite thing about lup is that she is a genius scientist and she has enough love for the entirety of existence and she is so transcendently powerful but on a basic fundamental level she lives her life by the dumbass teenage skater logic of "i wanna do dope shit and im never gonna die"
“It would likely be easier if each of you were to give a statement separately.” Jon says to the three men sitting across from him.
They all share a look before the one sitting in the middle replies “No, you’ll need all three of us for this one.” Jon sighs, before reaching over to the tape recorder that hadn’t been there when the three brothers walked in; if they noticed they didn’t say anything.
Jon presses the button on the side of the tape and begins to record, “Statement of the McElroy Brothers, Justin, Travis, and Griffin, regarding a presumably haunted clown doll. Statement taken direct from subjects. Statement begins.”
(*tries to recreate the magic of that one Supernatural/MBMBAM post*)
Griffin: Hey, quick question, is this place…like–legit? Jon: I beg your pardon. Justin: Yeah, Griffin, we beg your pardon? Griffin: I mean, is it legit, is it–how many haunted dolls do you–as an estimate, how many haunted dolls do you archive here on a yearly basis? Justin: Why are you doing this right now. Griffin: I think we have a right to know–how many haunted dolls– Jon: …One. Travis: Just one? Aw. Justin: Well hang on now, one is not bad. Travis: Per year? Justin: I’m sorry, Travis, how many haunted dolls do you archive a year? Travis: Well, none, but– Justin: So you can’t– Travis: –but it’s not my job. Jon, stiffly, regretting everything: Excuse me, but if you could…tell me about the incident.
Keep reading
barry bluejeans lich voice: actually the color red has more positive connotations than negative ones, it's called color theory and
lucretia, a skilled painter who knows what actual real color theory is: i put up lich wards just to make you shut up about this how are you still manifesting in my office
Taz Balance AU where the Reclaimers are constantly wearing graphic tees they’ve owned for upwards of a decade and the Director is Dying. Highlights include:
Madame Director: “And this is my butler, Davenport” All three boys, pointing dramatically at Magnus’s “If found, please return to Davenport” shirt: “EYYYY! :D” (note: there are exactly six copies of that shirt in existence. Davenport has a matching shirt that says “I’m Davenport” He doesn’t wear it anymore)
Carey: “I didn’t know you had a sibling, Taako.” Taako, wearing his third favorite “I’m the cool twin” shirt (the one with glitter but no rhinestones): “What are you talking about I’m an only child”
All three of them show up to training wearing identical shirts with a photo of the entire Starblaster Crew riding a roller coaster screenprinted on the front. Neither rollercoasters nor photography exist on this planet.
The boys try to convince Kravitz that they aren’t death criminals. It’s hindered by the fact that Merle’s shirt says “I’ve had a lot of ideas, and only 50 of them killed me!” with the 0 repeatedly crossed out and replaced with increasingly higher numbers
Somebody wakes Lucretia up in the middle of the night to deal with a crisis and she’s wearing a shirt that says “I Survived the Destruction of my Home Planet and All I Got was this Stupid T-Shirt”. They assume that the staticked out bit is a voidfish joke.
hey are y’all just straight lying about taz becoming heart-breakingly emotional? cause i’m like 20 episodes in and merle just dirty talked a plant
nevermind i don’t remember what happiness is