The Eggy DM

I'm just a little jester telling tales and wailing into the Abyss. Demogorgon sometimes wails back :3

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

I asked my friend Owen to make this for me a few months ago, and every now and then I get mentally flashbanged by it. Unfortunately, I now think of Sam Reich as, "the guy who killed Lincoln," and that makes no sense outside my very specific friend group. So now it's your problem, too.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

The only ending I'll accept to Good Omens is if Aziraphale gets promoted and we pan out to realise the narrator is just him doing a voice like the end of the Mike Myers cat in the hat movie, and the actress who does the narration dubs over him saying (in a MatPat-esque tone): But that's just an Omen. A GOOD OMEN. Thanks for watching!

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

Batman's secret identity would be completely unravelled if the city of Gotham ever held a charity frisbee competition (possibly even in his honour). Cause no way it wouldn't be funded by some Wayne charity, meaning Bruce Wayne would be invited.

And since Batman puts no effort into his Bruce Wayne persona, he'd forget to play fool and by the time he stopped making perfect throws, it'd already be too late. Someone jokes that he's got a better arm than Batman and suddenly everyone knows.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

Bard: You've peaked my interest.

Wizard: You mean piqued?

Bard, walking away: No, my interest peaked five minutes ago.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

BBEG: -and that's how I lost my wife...

Bard: I'm sorry to hear that.

BBEG: So you see, I'm not the vil-

Bard: *casts Silence*

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

I like to think of life as a trade: you give your body food, it gives you energy

Unfortunately, my body is a loan shark. It demands medicine but won't tell me what type or how much, and everyday that I don't provide it my joints get crunchier. What hell is this?

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

Water cooler? No actually this water is pretty fucking stupid.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

Mr. Brightside cover where instead of saying "my eager eyes" he says "my e-girl eyes" but all the other lyrics are unchanged so people get really fucking mad and argue about it.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

Imagine the different spider folk thinking they have major differences in their universes but its just someone misremembering. Like

Gwen: I really like Guns N' Roses!

Noir: Me too. Axel Rose and James Gunn are so talented together.

Gwen: Wait JAMES GUNN IS IN GUNS N' ROSES IN YOUR WORLD?!

But Noir is so wrong and just totally misremembering it.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

Normalise making a playlist for your DM so they have something tailored to them while they're planning.

And before anyone asks no I do not encourage my players to make me two, one which is actually helpful and one that is designed to manipulate my vibes and create totally unhinged session planning.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

These days we get flashbacks in comics about everything, like that time they showed Batman actually being a good dad and staying home with Jason.

So I want a flashback comic showing one time when Bruce was a kid his dad almost dying of Pneumonia because he kept insisting it was "just a bad cold" and refusing to see anyone. He was a medical professional, and EVERY medical professional does that shit.

[flyin-shark]

I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

[catchymemes]

[charlesoberonn]

Which path should he choose?

The path of the warrior, the path of the scholar, or the path of the artist?

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

Soldier, Poet, Bling.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

So today my D&D party spent half a session with the rogue's dad and not only did his first impression of them involve everyone but the rogue getting chased by guards, I had to actively spend like ten minutes dropping hints about this dude's "troubles back home and family he wanted to catch up with" before someone asked where he was from and started the ball rolling on the "I'm ur dad" talk.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

We love this. Funnily enough, I was so unsure whether to name my tumblr dungeons-and-dramaqueens or dungeons-and-dragqueens that when I saw this just now I was fully convinced I accidentally stole their title.

[dungeons-and-dramaqueens]

In my dnd setting the halfling war god is an eldritch beast with a human name. So if a halfling ever has to go to war they're like, "Hail to the great devourer, destroyer of nations, eater of souls, he with a hundred watchful eyes and ten thousand gnawing teeth. May he watch over me and protect me. He is... Davin."