Dwoality

Sometimes a writer, sometimes an artist, most times a reader, always a dumb bitch

[dwoality]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[beifong-brainrot]

I am definetly in the minority here, but I was always so deeply touched by Mai's confession during that scene.

There's just something about Mai's confession that makes me feel so unbearably sad. I think the first thing that hits me is just how... empty she seems in this situation compared to the rest of the Firesome Foursome. Zuko is angry™️ and lashing out, Ty Lee is sad and concerned and Azula is posturing. But Mai is just so devoid of even sadness around her chidlhood trauma.

It's sort of like she shut down emotionally to some extent, (even more than usual) especially after her fight with Zuko.

This is quite a common reaction to arguments from someone who was raised to be obedient and non-confrontational, so I'm not surprised she was acting like this.

Analysing Mai's behaviour on the beach is interesting.

She seems to try to reach out to Zuko in her own, tepid little way by greeting him, but clams back up when he asks her where "her new boyfriend" was. This leads to her smacking his hand away when he tries to reach out to her by asking if she's cold. They're both trying to mend the bridge, but end up escalating the conflict further.

She remains silent for a good while, but does speak up in order to defend Ty Lee from Zuko lashing out. Despite this, when Zuko persists, Mai doesn't push the issue, perhaps due to her upbringing to be placid.

Due to this, I find it intriguing when Mai mocks Ty Lee for attention seeking, since she had attempted to defend Ty Lee from Zuko's ridicule. But perhaps its due to jealousy or frustration by Ty Lee's freely expressed sorrow and trauma that made Mai lash out in her own way.

Or it's just because the writers didn't know how to jump from Ty Lee's traumadump to Mai's lol

This is where we get into the meat and potatoes of Mai's confession.

Ty Lee bites back at Mai and parrots Zuko's opinion of Mai being "a big blah" as he said.

Ty Lee : Well, what's your excuse, Mai? You were an only child for fifteen years, but even with all that attention, your aura is this dingy, pasty, gray ... Mai : I don't believe in auras. Zuko: Yeah, you don't believe in anything. Mai : Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't be as high-strung and crazy as the rest of you. Zuko: I'm sorry, too. I wish you would be high-strung and crazy for once instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up inside. She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?

I think what's interesting here is that while Ty Lee saw Mai as recieving the attention Ty Lee had craved, Mai seemed to receive less loving, parental attention, and more scrutiny. Mai's parents also seem to be actually rather neglectful emotionally towards Mai and them just leaving Tom Tom unsupervised behind a screen in Omashu leaves me questioning if they actually cared that much.

Mai deflects, not adressing Ty Lee's question, but rather focusing on the nebulous concept of auras instead. When Zuko butts in, trying to rile her up, Mai gives a sarcastic apology. I find it very interesting that she sets hereself so aside from the others in terms of her not being "high strung and crazy", because it really shows the difference in Mai's upbringing and that of her companions. Azula and Zuko were raised to be leaders and fighters, and their "firebender instincts" were encouraged, while Ty Lee persumably had to compete for attention with her siblings. While Mai was raised with the :be seen and not heard" mentality.

Now is also a good time to mention that I think Mai has almost comically obvious signs of depression, which wouldn't be a stretch.

Zuko calling Mai out for not getting angry over Ty Lee insulting her aura leads me to my next point. Persumably, being a child raised by parents like Michi and Ukano, Mai wasn't allowed to voice her discomfort, offence or upset. Hell we see this in Omashu when Mai complains about being bored and Michi basically shuts her down and tells her to enjoy it.

I mean look at the expression Michi gives Mai when she starts complaining about being bored, a very normal teenager thing to do.

And when Mai finally does speak her mind, it is no less heartwrenching.

Mai : What do you want from me? You want a teary confession about how hard my childhood was? Well, it wasn't. I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted... as long as I behaved and sat still, and didn't speak unless spoken to. My mother said I had to keep out of trouble. We had my dad's political career to think about.

The first thing that jumps out at us is how Mai presents her trauma. She doesn't explicitly express any pain or sadness, despite it being rather obvious to us. This is in stark contrast to the rest of the group. Ty Lee and Zuko are both very open about their negative emotions, hell, even Azula admits that Ursa's actions hurt her.

But Mai? Mai kneecaps her complaint. This can also be seen as an effect of her upbringing. No complaining, no making herself inconvenient for mom and dad.

We also see the theme of conditional love, an implied idea that Michi and Ukano would only give Mai affection or gifts if she acted the way they wanted her to. Now conditional love from people who are meant to raise you will fuck you up.

The comics also add that Michi actively told Mai scary stories about the Kemurimage to keep her in line. Now, telling kids stories about magical beings to get them to behave isn't anything new, but it appears to be so bad that Mai had nightmares over it. Also we're in a world where spirits actually exist, evil chidnapper spirits don't seem too far out the realm of possibility.

Also as someone who got raised by a heavily Catholic mother who made me believe I would burn in hell for an eternity if I even mildly displeased her, I do sympathise

Azula: Well, that's it, then. You have a controlling mother who had certain expectations, and if you strayed from them, you were shut down. That's why you're afraid to care about anything, and why you can't express yourself. Mai : You want me to express myself? [Stands up and yells.] Leave me alone! Zuko: I like it when you express yourself. [Approaching, attempting to put a hand on her shoulder.] Mai : Don't touch me! I'm still mad at you. Zuko: My life hasn't been that easy either, Mai. Mai: Whatever. That doesn't excuse the way you've been acting.

I love when Mai yells at Azula for frying to psychoanalyse her. Like Azula was right, but it understandably upset Mai, and it's a good thing she expressed that. It means she's growing.

I also do adore that Mai does not let Zuko get away with acting out, particularly towards her. I like that the writer's didn't just have Mai give Zuko a free pass because he had a shitty life and she actively called him out on his actions. It's probably my favourite part of their relationship. And Mai expressing so much anger and upset is a perfect crescendo to her little scene.

I don't know why but Mai confession scene just holds so much weight and emotion for me, I can't help but feel something whenever I watch it.

Also, side note, I find it an interesting detail that Azula's confession only came after the fire was extinguished. Perhaps it wasn't intentional but it kinda feels like its symbolising that the light "went out" for Azula (at least narrativewise) and that while Zuko, Ty Lee and Mai would be able to get out of their shitty situations and from under the Fire Nation's influence, she would not.

[wordpress-blaze-252224522]

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[dwoality]

Every time I see shy smile Todoroki, I see Cha Eun-Woo. I know Eun-Woo's Korean but if there's ever a Korean LA BNHA, I feel like the man could play Shouto

[dwoality]

[remanence-of-love]

[dwoality]

It hurts when you're trying to keep your light shining but people don't realize that and try to dim your light.

[dwoality]

Sometimes, in the twilight of despair and the gradual ceasing of my tears, while my heart still clenches and my chest aches with all the sadness I carried through the night, things felt better. It's odd. Nothing about it should have made me feel better; I was still crying, my cheeks are wet with drying tears, my chest hurts, and I feel raw around the edges and I am scrolling through Tumblr to feel something else and to distract my mind so that, even as I am curled in despair, my mind cannot run wildly, so that even as I am crying, my mind cannot add firewood to the pyre that was my being. But I did...feel better. Maybe it's because I've cried myself raw after crying since 2 AM, and now it is 7:30. Maybe it's all the fake scenarios that I ran through my head with my best friends that don't exist and a version of me that's hopeful for a better future despite being in the trenches of depression and maybe it's that JetKo fanfic that I read that was bittersweet that was unfinished and without a definite conclusion except that they were two people who had loved but weren't good for each other in the end and they had to accept that fact and move forward with their life. All I know is that—with my puffy eyes and the dried streaks on my cheek and the tightness in my chest and the dampness of my pillowcases—in a small moment in time, I felt good about myself. Like I was healing. And I know it's a tiny step that covers not even a quarter of the step that I stood on and that the journey is so long that I can't even see three months into it. But just for a fraction of that time, I felt better about myself. I felt pretty. I was crying and I didn't feel pathetic. I found a sliver of peace. Maybe I will be okay. In the future and it's not today, but I will be. Someday.

[dwoality]

I'm a hoarder and I'm not big on gifts because I grew up in a family that doesn't really care for it and I never really cared for it either. But I'm also someone who treasures books more than I read them (mostly because I won't get off my phone), but it just occurred to me how many people that I don't talk to anymore own a book I gave them.

[rimonoroni2]

my general opinion on what people should be "allowed" to portray and what topics they should be "allowed" to explore in fiction is that you can make whatever art with whatever themes you want but i'm also allowed to think the way you handled it was tasteless and should've been done differently. my negative opinion on your handling of sensitive topics is the price of admission for publicly showcasing your work. this is not a pro-censorship stance because i am not The Government

[dwoality]

No effing way there's a community for AI Art, Videos, and Music to celebrate generative creativity ✌️😭 gng, that shii wild af.

[dwoality]

I am a multi pro-shipper (is that what you call a multishipper proshipper??) and I fully believe in DL;DR and SALS...BUT, it's so annoying when people downplay another ship or hate on another ship because of how delusional they are about their ship. Moreover, when, in the attempt to justify their ship and gush about how much better it is and how it makes more sense (even if it doesn't), they ignore, hate, and mischaracterise canon so much. Yes, I'm talking about a certain fandom but this applies for a lot of fandom, I would say. Like, yes, fandom is for expressing and all, f canon, have fun. But I don't like it when those critiques of the canon material are outright incorrect and not understanding the canon material just to make your ship sound like the right ship and should have been canon if the creator had any spine. You can have your ship and have fun with it, that's the point. Stop bashing on another ship just because you're delusional about your OTP. I hate this especially when it's an amazing material and people twist it to make it sound like it's the better ship, completely disregarding and mischaracterising characters.

[dwoality]

Someone make a Potter!Harry AU ✌️😔

[dwoality]

In the end, everything changes. But the funny thing is, people like things that don't change. Like you've seen, so far, things that have an eternal nature. Like a painting from one hundred years ago. But everything changes so easily and so quickly. It keeps accelerating like this. We hate change but we're changing and we seem to love it so much. It feel so contradicting. Things change, people change, everything changes. In the end, everything changes even if they don't want to.

— Kim Nam-Joon (BTS)

ㅤ

[dykesynthezoid]

Lowkey I wish I liked Sokka/Zuko more bc it’s so popular… it’s frustrating what fandom has done w it tho. Ppl always love to pick the least interesting options… Granted ppl in fandom are always annoying ofc, we’re all clowns at the clown convention. But the fan interpretations of su/kka and the triangulation with Jet as a character are especially vexing 2 me. Case in point; a bunch of the jetko tag on ao3 is not actually jetko, it’s su/kka where Sokka suddenly appears to rescue Zuko from an abusive relationship (with Jet) or Jet is an abusive ex, etc. (almost always with bottom Zuko too! interesting!)

And it is soooo hard not to be like. Hey you know Sokka’s problem with Jet was always that Jet held up a mirror to Sokka’s own ideas about masculinity? Jet’s inner narrative forces Sokka to confront his own ideas about himself. And Sokka’s disillusionment with this particular narrative of masculinity at Jet’s hands is very important to his development, and it’s also meant to directly foil Katara’s disillusionment with the romanticism of sacrifice. Also worth nothing that in Sokka’s altercations with Jet, he is a. often dismissed outright by the people he trusts, even when he has legitimate reasons to be calling Jet out, and b. actively and literally outnumbered and at a disadvantage.

Jet and Zuko on the other hand are engaging with each other on pretty different terms. They recognize themselves in each other and feel kinship over it, but this connection is hampered by the political context around them and their personal struggles with identity. The reason Jet ends up attacking Zuko and not Iroh, even though it’s Iroh he knows is a firebender, is because Jet’s sense of connection to Zuko makes him feel especially betrayed and repulsed; if he is Like Zuko, then there is also something to be hated and destroyed inside himself.

Both have very clear ideas of the danger the other represents, they both at some point see each other as an existential threat (although for Zuko I’d say it’s much more brief); Jet bc he’s traumatically hardwired to react that way to firebending, Zuko bc Jet threatens his safety and hiding in Ba Sing Se. But then! The show also basically tells us outright that Jet was unlikely to have become a legitimate threat to Zuko bc Zuko is a better fighter even without his bending, and the Dai Li would likely not have taken Jet’s claims very seriously even under different circumstances. Zuko also, of course, would’ve been unlikely to cause any harm to Jet if left unprovoked, even though he actually had greater means to do so.

(Basically: between Zuko and Sokka, only one of them gives the vibe of having possibly been in an unequal power dynamic with Jet to me, and it’s not Zuko. [And btw, if anyone ever came to “save” Sokka from a bad relationship, it would be Katara.])

Granted I also think a lot of people are simply not equipped to handle Jet as a character (skill issue tbh!). His complexity is too much to stomach, and ironically his black-and-white way of seeing the world actually reflects the very same mindset held by a lot the fans who hate him and insist on casting him as a villain. The mirror is mirroring and people do NOT like it. He’s too real for them in that respect.

[dwoality]

[sea-muffin]

Everyone shipping zukka rn is funny, bc every time I see it I’ll like the post bc it’s cute! But little do they know im a secret jetko shipper. We lurk in the shadows, but we are still here~