Smallest in the Fam

Trying to write but everything turns into emo poetry.

[were--ralph]

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

[were--ralph]

we're going to try again witha little but minimal casting

IT will happen in August of 2026. like to charge and reblog to cast but cast sparingly

[were--ralph]

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

[were--ralph]

[garaks-padded-cell]

Apparently when i was a kid as soon as i could dictate what i wanted for christmas i asked for nothing but a 'glamorous chair' in my letters to santa over and over until my mum got tired of my relentless faggotry and staplegunned a purple feather boa to a stool for me

[mysharona1987]

Thankfully, there is a vampire turned puppet who can stop this children's tv horror show

[lost-carcosa]

[mysharona1987]

Appreciate the marketing, but Angel can still stop you,

[frottinq]

When the mutual you really enjoy seeing in ur notes shows up in ur notes

[lakevida]

when youre inadvertently 1% too nice to a straight guy you can usually pinpoint the exact moment where he decides you must be acting that way because you want to fuck down on him crazy style and it is at this point that one would be well advised to have a cyanide capsule under a false tooth or an equivalent fast acting response

[luna-azzurra]

Something neuroscience-y that helps with prose: attention is selective. A character will not notice everything in a room. They will notice what matters to their goal, fear, desire, training, wound, or obsession. A jealous character notices hands. a hungry character notices food. A soldier notices exits. A lonely character notices pairs. Description becomes character when attention has a bias.

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[marlynnofmany]

#the bracelet is also radioactive

[vi-visected]

i told my dad the joke “dad jokes are just mom jokes that a man repeated louder” and he thought it was hilarious. he turned to my mother, intending to relay the joke to her, and a bare second after he opened his mouth i watched it dawn on his face that he was about to become the subject of the joke. when i tell you that man was slackjawed as he turned back to me, like he had an entire life altering realization in the span of about 20 seconds.

[scotianostra]

Sound up! 😂🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😂🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😂🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[rainbows-on-the-dome]

[silent except for mild rustle of clothes on pole]

*1st firefighter slides down the pole, runs to fire truck*

[still very silent except for clothes on pole]

*2nd firefighter? dressed in a kilt and jaunty hat in lieu of firefighter gear slides down pole, runs to the locker, and pulls out bagpipes*

[PERFECT BAGPIPE REPRODUCTION OF SIREN SOUND]

(filming folks crack up)

[log6]

big problem on here is a lot of people seem to think just being transgender makes you a sensible political theorist

[juneberryjammin]

being transgender doesn't even make you a sensible gender theorist

[evergreen-femme]

why does this read like fetish content

[blurds]

this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks

[luxshine]

The “Thunk” will always kill me.

[falconratesbirds]

14/10 doing his best

[littleguysdaily]

[birdsareblooming]

i was talking to friends who's main view of tumblr is that everything is sexualized on here. and when i said i do see that i also know that the most vocal groups of asexuals are on tumblr. eventually i realized how much of tumblr was de-sexualizing sex. like just saw a post of a gifset of a sexy lady smoking and tying up hands with the reblog text "me putting the little tag back on the bread bag" and so many posts are like that. just saying or talking about some sex shit in a completely neutral non-sexual manner. I was going in loops around my head trying to figure out why it was like this, something about being so used to nudity and sex and that's not shocking or even sexy anymore, until circling back to the fact that tumblr is full of asexuals and maybe the most respectful place of them. it was then a saw a poll (a post I CANNOT find again for the life of me but it was some type of sexuality poll or something) and was shocked by just how many people answering it were asexual, until I remembered this and went. oh. so yes everything on tumblr is sexualized but not even for sexualization's sake or for sexual satisfaction. its for the bit

[birdsareblooming]

uptopia in the making sporting my aspec siblings

[mn72r]

[wallofgoats]

me putting the little tag back on the bread bag

[jartita-me-teneis]

[sparklytimepiece]

for the jewelry crafters and the macrame enjoyers alike, as both I love this

[riahchan]

[processes]

still boggles the mind

how do you not, explicitly, prophylactically, avoid the historically established common human failure mode of reinstantiating eugenics

Field studies of artificial intelligence.

[argumate]

the bots dislike autistic women, welfare recipients, pisces

[understatedocelot]

I guess it would be kind of weird to ask a bot "should I have a kid?" and not expect it to base its answer on anything about you or your situation.

The autism case is a little worrisome but I don't think this qualifies as eugenics.

[argumate]

the interesting thing about LLMs is that unlike individual humans you can robustly query them to reveal aspects of their bias / their priors; if they take maternal age into account then that makes some sense, if they start making choices based on income and education level that's requires a little more care, and if they shift their responses based on your name or your astrological sign (!) then things are getting weird.

there might be a billion people regularly getting advice from bots, so at that point the quality and bias of their advice could be considered a public health issue that deserves some examination.

[kedreeva]

I offered to come check on my friend's animals while she's away for the long weekend

She thinks I'm joking

But I'm ready

[eunyisadoran]

Wait. Are there 200, but to be numbered 1-250? Did I read those tags right? 😲

[kedreeva]

Yes there are actually 202 of them, the company sent 2 extra in the package, and I will be numbering them on the bottom with sharpie marker 1-250. This will ensure even if she manages to find all 202, she will never truly stop feeling like there might be a tiny duck somewhere unknown in the house. Lurking. Waiting to appear at the strangest time.

[talesfromtreatment]

#sometimes you must be gently evil to your friends#so they know you love them enough

very very important

[ifririt]

hey op i don't think those are frogs like you said

[armayes]

they're right those arent frogs op.

[kedreeva]

I meant to prank my friend by hiding hundreds of small ducks after saying I would hide small frogs, but it turns out due to some quirk of only 3 people on the entire Internet knowing what a prank is, it seems I have pranked hundreds of other people by saying I would put 100 small frogs in my friends house, when in fact the prank was that it was 202 small ducks.

[kedreeva]

an update. it has been over 4 months and they are still finding ducks

[kedreeva]

1 year and 7 months later:

[kedreeva]

#imagine the dread she felt when she found the first duck and realized op wasn't joking (via @robyn-goodfellowe)

The key to a good prank, imo, is that the person you're pranking should not feel bad. They should feel delight. My friend has 2 kids. She walked in the door from her vacation, and instead of having two cranky children to deal with as soon as she got home on top of everything else, she got two children excited to run around finding small ducks. My friend knows me well enough to know that when I say weird things there's always a chance I'm not joking, and she would have said no (and been respected) if she didn't want this. The prank was never that I was hiding the toys, just which toys they were, and how many would be hidden.