Just one mor tumblr to share some drawings. So come discover the little world of a shy 18 years old french girl in Art school and her passion for drawing (THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS)
A ‘Bears walk in to Ilya’s house and see him napping with Shane AU’ where Ilya somehow manages to still keep Shane’s identity a secret.
Ilya always had been a light sleeper, so no matter how lightly they stepped he was awake moments after the first shocked gasp.
Ilya knows it’s over for him. There’s no mistaking that there’s a man asleep on his chest in a clearly non-platonic cuddle. Usually Ilya would be punching the intruder, threatening violence to try and ensure they kept their mouth shut but he has quickly realised something far more important. With the way they are sleeping, Ilya on his underneath on his back and Shane on his stomach on top with his face pressed into the gap between Ilya’s neck and the couch, they can’t see his face.
He quickly pulls Shane’s hood up over his head to hide hair and rests a hand over it to gently discourage Shane from moving it should he start to wake up.
So Ilya just stares down his team and goes “you can be upset, but are going to be fucking quiet about it because if you wake my guest I’m sending all my blackmail on you to your wives, and then start fucking them to help them get over the divorce.”
So the whole “You’re fucking gay!” “No, I’m a fucking bi who is fucking a gay” conversation happens at a furious whisper, with Shane blissfully sleeping on Ilya’s chest as life implodes around him.
Shane may be a deep sleeper - and the argument in whispers - but even he starts to stir at the noise.
Ilya can’t have him moving his face into visibility now, so he just scruffs the back of his neck harshly and pressed him deeper into his shoulder.
Shane lets out a pleased (and not at all quiet) moan, and - worried that he is going to start talking - Ilya realises he needs to shut him up.
So he glares at the Bears to be quiet, while suddenly putting on the softest voice they have ever heard him use as he goes, “shhh quiet time now mоя любовь. Back to sleep.” And then shoves his fingers into Shane’s mouth.
When the Bears leave soon after, some of them have LEARNT some things about themselves. But crucially, none of them have learnt who their captain is fucking.
Once Shane’s on the Centaurs they almost never spend a night apart. They go from only having a few weeks together every summer and catching a day here and there, whenever their schedules align, to living in each others' pockets. They don't even have to separate for road trips. They get to spend every day together and every night in each others' arms. It kind of surprises both of them how easy it is to fit around each other. After years of taking what they could get, they finally get to have every moment and sometimes just the thought of it is overwhelming.
The real kicker comes the first time they spend a night apart. Shane has been booked for a photoshoot that requires him to stay overnight. It shouldn't be a big deal. It's one night. They've spent countless nights apart before.
However, it's nearing 2 AM and Shane still can't fall asleep. There's no deep breathing that boarders on snores filling the room, no one snatching the blankets from him, no cloying warmth of a furnace disguised as a 220 pound hockey player forcing him to stick his feet from under the blanket in an attempt not to overheat. It's awful. It shouldn't be this difficult. They spent years in a long-distance relationship, Shane wishing every night for Ilya's presence. He should be able to do this. But never before has he felt his absence this keenly.
Eventually he gives up and texts him "I can't fucking sleep without you" only for Ilya's face to light up his screen as he immediately calls, having encountered the same problem. They talk for a while and do eventually manage to fall asleep, phones propped up on the pillows on the side of the bed reserved for their husband, just revelling in hearing the sound of the other person's breathing. After that, Shane is reluctant to accept any work commitment that requires him spending a night away from Ilya. It's just not worth it.
Iyla knows that Shane Hollander has two vices: crazy hot sex with his very handsome boyfriend, and gummy bears. Well, any gummy candy really, but the bears are his favourite. It's a sensory thing more than a taste thing. He loves the chewiness, and he can never just have a handful. If there's a packet open he will finish it.
The problem, Ilya has noticed, is that afterwards he always feels guilty about straying from his perfectly constructed diet plan, and he gets all quiet and in his head for the rest of the day.
But that's when Ilya sees them: sugar free gummy bears. His heart is racing as he adds a bulk box of them to his cart. He even buys a cute jar to keep all the packets in and a gift box and everything. He hits 'buy' thinking that he's about to get such a good grade in boyfriend.
And he does! When Ilya arrives at Shane's house ahead of the Montreal/Boston game later that day, he looks delighted as he opens the gift box to see the jar full of gummy bears. And when Ilya explains that they're sugar free, Shane's eyes get all sparkly along the waterline in that way that tells Ilya he's gotten something so right.
Unfortunately, those of you who know what happens when you eat sugar free gummy bears will know that Shane has been handed a ticking time bomb. But as Ilya's kissed against the refrigerator so hard that half of Shane's magnets clatter to the floor, as he's dragged off to Shane's room, Ilya thinks he's absolutely aced it.
He's warming up before the game later and can't help but notice that Shane is nowhere to be found. He's normally the first on the ice. Did something happen to him? Ilya's whole body suddenly goes cold and he feels that awful pre-throwup feeling, but he tries not to panic. He skates over to Pike who's taking the team through their stretches.
"Where's Hollander?" he asks.
"Why do you care?" asks Pike snippily and Ilya doesn't have time for this right now. He just needs to know that Shane's okay. Or, he realises with a sickening new thought, that Yuna and David are okay.
"Oh you would not care if the Boston captain was not on the ice for some reason?" He's rapidly losing patience, but is trying to hold onto his aloof asshole persona. The Metros have abandoned their stretches, watching the drama unfolding above them and Ilya can feel every camera in the arena on them, waiting for something to happen.
"Probably not, no." Ilya wants to punch him. Oh he wants to punch him now more than ever.
"Just fucking tell me, asshole! I just want to know if he's okay."
"He's got food poisoning," says Pike, drawing himself to his full height, clearly squaring up for a fight. All the fight has gone out of Ilya though.
"Is not possible," says Ilya, without thinking. They had the same boring bland premade chicken from the same Tupperware. If Shane has food poisoning, he should have food poisoning too. It can't have been dinner. Unless...
Fuck. The fucking bears.
"I don't know what to tell you, man," says Pike, and something on Ilya's face must read as real worry because Pike has stopped glaring and now seems to be puzzling something out. "He called me about an hour ago sounding fucking awful wondering if he should go to the emergency room with it."
"What?" He poisoned his boyfriend so badly that he had to go to hospital about it?
"He's okay now I think," says Hayden quickly, sensing his panic. "Well, not okay, but he texted me about five minutes ago to say he thinks the worst is over. Had to sit out the game though, so you'll probably be happy about that."
"Sure, whatever, Pike," he says, too fucking worried and guilty to do anything other than skate numbly away. He wishes he could leave right now, take the fines and just rush to Shane's house to check he's okay. But he can't – there would be absolutely no reason for the Boston captain to rush off the ice right now. It would ruin everything for Shane. And anyway, this should be the best possible outcome for the Raiders.
Ilya ends up playing some of the worst hockey of his whole career. The only time he's played worse was the game he had to play after Shane was carried off the ice on a stretcher. The Raiders lose by an embarrassing margin, the press are gleeful, his team are pissed at him, and he doesn't even care because he just wants to know that Shane is going to be okay when he gets home to him.
Forty minutes after the final whistle, he lets himself in with the code and key Shane has trusted him with.
"Shane! My Shane! Are you okay?" he says, tearing through to the living room looking for him. He's not there. Fuck, what if he went to the emergency room after all? What if he's dying in a bed somewhere all alone? What if—
It's then that he hears a small voice from the bedroom.
"Here, baby."
Ilya starts crying as he makes his way to the room. He can't help himself. He's spent the past three hours feeling sick with worry. He immediately crawls onto the bed and pulls Shane into his arms. Shane starts pressing comforting kisses to his forehead. "Hey, no why are you crying? What happened?"
"What happened?" says Ilya, looking up at Shane incredulously. "I fucking poisoned you, that's what happened! Pike told me you had food poisoning and I knew it wasn't the chicken. It was the fucking bears, right?"
"No," says Shane, and Ilya glares at him. "Okay, it was the bears, but it's not your fault. I went to go look it up when I could finally think again and it turns out that the sugar substitute is a pretty powerful laxative. Some of the reviewers only had a few and were already in trouble."
"How many did you have?" asked Ilya.
"Two whole packets," says Shane with a grimace. "So you see, it's not your fault. It's my fucking gummy bear problem."
"Did you throw the rest out?" asks Ilya, wanting those evil little fuckers as far away from his Shane as possible.
"I did," he says. "Sorry, baby. It was really sweet of you, but I can't do that again."
"Of course you can't," says Ilya, pressing a kiss to Shane's chest. "You are okay now though?"
"I'm okay now. They're out of my system I think. Everything's out of my system probably."
Ilya presses another kiss to Shane's chest.
"Come, let's get you a nice warm shower and then into bed for some proper rest."
He helps Shane shower and wash his hair, knowing he always feels better afterwards, then helps Shane into his comfiest sweatpants and the Raiders tee he stole from Ilya. Once he's in bed, Ilya heads downstairs to get him a Gatorade to help him replenish some of his fluids, as well as some pills to help with the pain. As he throws away the little plastic seal from the pill bottle, he sees them – the rest of the motherfuckers that did this to Shane.
Ilya's never had a blood-feud with a candy before, but he can barely look at them. Deciding he doesn't want them to be under the same roof as Shane for a moment longer, he collects the trash bag and takes it to the garbage bin outside. Good fucking riddance, he thinks, while washing his hands of the murder, and makes his way back to bed.
"You were gone so long," says Shane, snuggling up to Ilya as he sips his drink.
"Had to show those fucking bears who is boss." Shane gives him a curious look. "I emptied trash."
And as Shane laughs and snuggles closer, for the first time since warm-ups, Ilya feels himself relax.
Maybe he's still managed to get a good grade in boyfriend after all.
i truly love that shane and ilya shares clothes like .5 seconds into the cottage. like they’re one day into living together and they’re already performing domesticitymaxxing truly no one does it like them fr
i've searched every combination of words imaginable and i still can't find that gif of the german star trek parody where gay spock is quickly drinking coffee and smoking freaking out PLEASE send it to me i need it urgently
