Come one, come all, to the realm of madness

A blog for those who have been forsakened by the gods.

[elderharpy]

So thinking about ships, I’ve come to realize that there’s a fundamental problem with the “enemy x protagonist parent” ship I sometimes see. 

These types of ships require a delicate balance between the relationship with the enemy and the protagonist; otherwise, it will break everything and make the ship a bit toxic. This only applies to canon-ish universes. AUs where the enemy isn’t an actual enemy don’t count since they don’t have the relationship their canon counterparts have, so it can be fine. 

To illustrate this, I’ll compare two ships that exemplify this trope. The first is good old Hanamusa, Aka: Jessie x Delia from Pokémon. The second is Camila Noceda x Beard era Philip Wittabane from The Owl House. In my opinion, Hanamusa works, while Camila x Philip doesn’t, for the core reason above.

To explain further, examine the relationship between Jessie and Ash. Ash and Jessie, along with the TRio, have a Frienemy situation going on. Yes, the TRio tries to steal Ash’sAsh’s Pikachu daily. The three are part of a terror group (although they have been fired in the Hanamusa verse). Still, the general vibe is that the two sides are willing to put their differences aside, usually when a rival team tries to destroy everything. Generally, Jessie is a goofy villain. Vain, haughty, rhyming intro with James and Meowth, the works. It makes bigger villains, like Team Magma, Aqua, Galactic, Plasma, Flare, and Team Rocket Proper, more terrifying. She can be with Delia because deep down, Jessie isn’t a bad person. This allows her to bridge the gap with her stepson, Ash, in this case. 

Ash’s problem with Jessie is threefold. 

 He doesn’t trust her (who can blame him)

He thinks she’s now competition for Delia’s affection (he’s still a kid after all)

He’s still working through his Dad’s absence, so when Jessie shows up to replace him, Ash’s complex emotions find a perfect target.

This may seem problematic, but thanks to their existing semi-positive bond, these obstacles can be overcome. Ash can come to accept a changed Jessie, and the two will become amicable. It also helps that Ash’s love for his mom counteracts any existing grudges with Jessie, meaning that even if he never comes to mend the fence, he will still accept the two. Even if that acceptance comes from giving Jessie the Shovel talk. 

Phillip and Luz, on the other hand, are too broken to even think of mending fences. To start, Phillip isn’t a recurring nuisance or a joke to make an off-screen villain seem powerful. He’s not The TRio, He’s Giovanni himself. Every time Phillip is on screen, he does something horrible. He gaslights Hunter, he manipulates families against each other, and plots to kill all the people in the Boiling Isles to fulfill the goals of the Puritans. Luz is no exception to his cruelty. Whenever they meet, Phillip attempts to hurt her—whether it’s as Belos, forcing her to become trapped on the Isles through a terrible choice, or as Phillip, trying to sacrifice her to get access to the Collector. He later uses this to traumatize her with the idea that she had “helped” him.

Luz’sLuz’s relationship with Phillip is purely antagonistic, and there’s very little that can be done to heal that. It also doesn’t help that, unlike Ash and Delia, Luz and Camila have a strained relationship due to stuff like Reality Check camp and initially trying to keep Luz from the Boiling Isles. That, combined with her sharing Ash’s situation of being fatherless, may result in a Phillip x Camila relationship ending with Luz tolerating the two but remaining distant at best. At Worst? Luz burns bridges and rejects Camila and the Human realm as a whole. Phillip has too many sins on his belt to build bridges with Luz. 

In the end, the enemy X hero’s parent ship needs to hit a balance to make the ship work. The main draw of the ship is how the villain can change and how the heroes will react to it. The issue is that when making it, you need to hit a happy medium. If the villain is too irredeemable, then the ship collapses unless AU factors are used. Hanamusa hits this medium well since the villain in question was more of a nuisance, rather than a cruel figure. Conversely, Phillip x Camila doesn’t work since Phillip has done too much and is too evil to even begin to build bridges. 

[elderharpy]

Rise of Unmasker

The Nature of Man is to control. He does not embrace me. He avoids me, he rejects me, and he tries to destroy me. But that is Impossible. I cannot die; I AM death. I am action and inaction. This town where my creations show new light has its weapon against them: a child of delusion, SuperFlex. He can try all he wants, but fighting against me will only end in catastrophe. 

Leaves crunched against Will’s foot as he walked home from the library. The autumn wind rushed overhead, tussling his chestnut brown hair. Will adjusted his bookbag as he continued the long march home. Today was average: go to school, listen to the town hero Super Flex talk about how to beat back the Unthinkables, and then try and use his learning to make new friends. It was the simple things: just focus on the game, but don’t play too hard to win, that will summon D.O.F., Talk about your interests, but not too much, because that brings Rock Brain, and talk to everyone with a smile on your face, you don’t want to be Grump Grumpaniny, do you? Still, it’s for the good of society. No one wants to be around someone making a scene or something. Still, it didn’t help with making friends. The home wasn’t much better either. His dad, bless his heart, was always on his case, forcing him to keep up the charade at home and school so he didn’t have to worry about his “weird son who can’t make friends.” Walking home was simple: no people telling you what to do, no one telling you you’re wrong, just people going by and into their little world. Fall was always his favorite season; he liked the wind, changing leaves, and everything that changed before the cold winter. Will was so caught up in his little world that he crashed into someone, a boy of similar age and height with long-ish red hair. “Ah, sorry, sorry”. Will said to the boy he ran into. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” the boy said, getting his footing after stumbling back, “I wasn’t watching where I was going, and I was moving pretty fast.” Will rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, “Neither did I, I was looking at the leaves.” The boy’s face lit up in slight joy, “Yeah, me too, they are interesting aren’t they.” Will apprehensively started, this was something he could talk about for hours. “Well, they are the part of the plant that sends oxygen out after-” As Will spoke, the boy joined in, stating, “-the roots absorb the Carbon Dioxide!”. The two looked at each other. With amazement, Will felt like he was finally validated after all this time. The two continued talking about leaves and plants until Will remembered that he had to get home. “Sorry about this, but I have to go home. My dad’s not going to be happy if I’m late,” Will remarked, heading on his way. “Oh, sorry, I never got your name; I’m Will,” he said. As he was about to leave, the boy waved back, “I’m Jake; I hope we can hang out again sometime.” Will smiled and walked towards his home, happy that, at long last, he had made a friend. Both were unaware that this blossoming friendship would set in motion the events that would change their town forever. 

The next day, Will took the same route home as last time, hoping to see Jake again. Like clockwork, Jake came running in from the other side of the block simultaneously and running for fun with a smile. Will waved to Jake, causing him to stop to a dead halt, excited to see his friend again. “Hey, Will! How’s it going?” Jake said excitedly. Will smiled back. “I’m doing good-ish. Class was an utter nightmare”. Jake threw up his arms, his smile decreasing to a slight frown. “Tell me about it,” he started, “they keep getting on my case for no reason.” Jake continued, “It’s always the same: sit still, Jake, stick with the group, Jake, talk about something besides plants, Jake. And then they have the gall to ask why I never hang out with others”, Jake ranted. Jake turned to Will again, sheepish, “Sorry, I tend to talk too much; I hope you don’t think I’m possessed by One-Sided Sid or something.” Will shook his head, amazed at what he heard from Jake. He felt that way and never dared to say it. “I feel the same way. I don’t know why I am the way I am, but I don’t like to think I’m “being taken over by an evil supervillain who likes to drive everyone to madness.” I just want to be understood,” Will said sheepishly. He continued, “I like that you said that; it made me feel like I’m not alone.” Jake said nothing. He just looked on, amazed. The two sat in silence for a few moments before Jake spoke up. “Do you want to head to the library? There are some books there I want to show you”. Will was shocked out of his silence by the offer, mainly by Jake talking to him. “Ah! Yeah, sounds cool, yeah!” He said. “I told my dad I would be home late anyway.” “Cool,” said Jake, leading Will in the direction he was aiming for, “let’s go then.”

The two meet up regularly from then on. They would sometimes hang out and go to the library or the bookstore. Occasionally, they would head to the park and look at all the plants, talking about the facts and knowledge they knew about them as they pointed them out. As time went on, Jake’s birthday approached. Having heard about the date from the two’s many meet-ups. Will decided to get him a book from Charlotte Taylor, a botanist, about which Jake talked a lot. Until the day happened. Jake didn’t show up at their usual spot after school. Will, at first, was worried; he waited and waited and waited. Will eventually went home, figuring Jake got held up at school. The next day, Jake came and was late to the meet-up. He apologized, but when the two went to the park, Jake didn’t follow along with their usual “tree fact” game where one would say a random fact about a tree at the park. Then, the other would guess the tree it was about. Will asked if everything was alright and if he was feeling OK. Jake said he was fine, and the two left early. This continued; sometimes, their meet-ups ended early, and sometimes, Jake did not appear at all. Soon, the day of Jake’s birthday came. Will arrived at Jake’s house when he was requested and was let in by his mom. Inside, a bunch of people were at the party, something Will hadn’t been expecting. Whenever he went to find Jake, he wasn’t around. Instead, he had to drum up conversation with his other guests. Surprising Will none, they didn’t interact with him, and he was ostracized at his best friend’s birthday party. Eventually, it came time for the presents and cake and ice cream. As Jake opened each present, Will was baited breath to see how he would react to his. When Jake unwrapped the book, instead of the joy Will expected from him, he looked at the book with complete indifference. He set it aside, with the crowd murmuring about it afterward. Will couldn’t believe it. When the cake was served, Will took his slice and went outside to Jake’s backyard.

Will sat there in utter disbelief at what happened to him today, with his best friend becoming increasingly distant. He then heard the sliding door open and out stepped Jake himself. “Hey, heard you were out here,” Jake said apprehensively. Will looked at him with a hurt glare. “Why are you out here? Shouldn’t you be inside with your friends”? Will spat with pain in his voice. Jake sighed, “And leave my best friend out on the patio? Not in your life.” Will looked at Jake with tears of sorrow and anger welling in his eyes and stood. “Then where were you? You left me alone this entire party, and these last few weeks, you’ve either been on a different planet or not there at all”. Will argued with him. Jake raised his hands, “I have a perfectly good explanation; just sit down for a minute.” Will sat apprehensively on one of the chairs to hear what was about to happen. 

“So earlier this month, my school had a visit from Super Flex chasing a villain, Rock Brain or something like that.” Will raised an eyebrow as he hung out with Jake; he began to care less and less about the hero. Jake continued, “He started about his experiences fighting the Unthinkables. I ignored it and was reading some plant books.” Will already didn’t like where this was going, with Jake referring to one of his prized botany journals as “some plant book.” Jake returned to the story. “So Super Flex addressed me about staying on topic and paying attention. I didn’t care until he revealed that the Brain Eater had me under his influence. He then told me how to think about others to keep that slimy cephalopod out of my head.” Jake finished the story, and Will looked unconvinced and a bit miffed. “And Super Flex’s tricks are why you left me to the wolves?” “I’m almost there,” he said, “Now then, I used his anti-villain tricks to help make friends, and they worked! They really worked this time. But all that time, I worried about you.” Jake said, approaching where Will was sitting. “I want to help you out of the hole I was in. You don’t have to be a plant-obsessed weirdo servant of those crazy freaks. You can fight them and be a better citizen, and we can be best friends together.” Jake finished, looking Will directly in the eyes. “What do you say, man?” 

Will was enraged at what had just transpired. He just learned that his best friend had just betrayed everything for popularity. The boy who made him comfortable being himself just told him he needed to once again forget about it. But what finally set him off was the “plant-obsessed weirdo” comment. Will said nothing; he just slammed the slice of birthday cake into Jake’s face, shouting, “I HATE SUPER FLEX,” before running out of the backyard, tears running down his cheeks.

It was late when Will stopped running and made it back home. Ignoring any comments from his father, he just went up into his room and slammed his head into the pillow, sobbing. How could Jake do this? ‘No, It wasn’t Jake,’’ he thought, ‘it was Super Flex; he took him from me; he kept me from having friends.’’ With his new hatred for the hero, Will fell into a tearful sleep. Will awoke inside a void of colors, like an art project gone awry. “Hello, child,” a voice sounding like one million ants being eaten by an aardvark boomed out, “I have been waiting for you; turn so I may greet your face.” Will turned and saw the death of hope and the birth of joy. He saw reality become torn paper in a shredder. Will shuddered, “Who are you? What are you?”. The thing breathed in a cacophony of rusting metal. “I am despair and courage. I am what is common knowledge and the unknowable; I am horror, I am safety, I am the hero, I am the villain, I am Mufasa, I am Scar, I am Huckleberry Finn, and I am Mien Kauf.” It continued, "To put it simply, I am entropy, the disrepair guiding the universe; I am Absolute Chaos!” Will shrank back at the eldritch beast, “What do you want with me”? He asked in fear of the creature’s power. Absolute Chaos approached Will with a tendril of madness. “I have watched you from afar, young William,” it said, in a voice from nothing from this world, “and I find your frustration with the falsifier most useful.” Will looked in confusion before realizing who Chaos was talking about. “Are you talking about Super Flex?” he asked curiously. The creature looked (?) in agreement. “Yes, the thorn known as Super Flex.” The beast roared, each sound feeling like it would tear Will apart. “The pathetic boy has chosen to fight the natural order by targeting the uniqueness in the minds of others.” Will’s eyes widened at that last comment, “Wait, what?”. Chaos then manifested visions of the Unthinkables. “The ones you call the Unthinkables are simply manifestations of the effects of conditions of my many deviations from what you creatures would call Order. In their regular form, they are harmless; only in extremes are they problematic.” Chaos stated, causing the visions to change as it spoke with a voice of skeletal decay. “The boy known as Super Flex believes himself to be fighting a great evil. However, he is merely an obstacle, much like his more murderous kin years ago.” Chaos ended the visions before focusing the eyes of the blinded onto Will. “I offer you this: become my champion, gain the power to unleash the power within. Destroy this so-called hero.” As the words left the void, Will transformed into a Black and Orange costume with a black Superman-like top, tights, orange boots, gloves, a hooded cape, and a similar orange belt and superhero pants with a purple buckle. On his face was now a black mask covering most of his face, save for his eyes and mouth. 

Will was apprehensive about the whole thing, and who wouldn’t? The physical embodiment of Chaos itself appears in your sleep and decides to make you the local hero’s new nemesis. Get out of here. But then Will remembered the party and how SuperFlex took away the only thing that mattered to him. If Chaos were right and could use this power to get revenge on the hero, he would no longer sit in his shadow. No longer would anyone have to put on a fake version of themselves for this creature. Will looked up at Absolute Chaos and said three words, “I’ll do it.”

Will awoke in bed, still unchanged from when he fell asleep after the party. Will approached his dresser mirror and looked into it. There was no change, no costume, nothing. Will began to believe it was all a dream when he decided to try one more thing. He began to focus on his costume, and sure enough, in an implosion of color, He transformed into his costume. Will looked in the mirror and smiled to himself. “Well, if I’m going to be that lunatic’s villain, I’ll need a new name.” He thought for a while before deciding. “Behold, Superflex, your destructor, I am UNMASKER!” Unmasker opened his bedroom window before slipping out, “Now let’s see what these new powers can do.” 

In its realm of entropy, Absolute Chaos looked on at Unmasker’s first steps into the dark path. The creature looked on Super Flex, helping out at a local school. “Two pawns march to battle, both on the path to damnation.” The creature cackled with the laugh of the souls of the slaughtered and looked on at its new pawn’s first actions. 

[elderharpy]

I have gotten so tired of these idiotic bots! It's time we hit them with the ultimate power!

Aces of Tumblr, Ace Council, I pitch to you THE ACE-STARTES PROGRAM, our bulwark against the bot terror!

[elderharpy]

Alrighty everyone. I'm establishing this place as an official rest spot for the Ace Front against Spam bots.

If you've arrived here in my airfield, feel free to take a rest before going back on the hunt. May the Parthenos watch over y'all

[illymation]

HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE TUMBLR???? This is so damn cool I'm sorry-- you're awesome!!

hi!!! thank you!!! now’s probably a good time to inform you all i grew up on tumblr 🫠

[elderharpy]

Let's all be honest, are we at all surprised that this chaotic cat theatre gay didn't grow up on this hell site.

(P.S: If you're reading this illy, Hi! I love your videos!)

[elderharpy]

Time to settle this

Who is the best Three Houses Dad

Jeralt Eisner (Byleth)

Seteth (Flyan)

Alois Rangeld (Unknown Daughter)

Lord Rodrigue Fraldarius (Felix)

Count Leopold Bergliez (Caspar)

Voting ended onFeb 11, 2023

[elderharpy]

Most Important Question of all

You have two buttons in front of you, which button do you push

A) Retroactively makes Pokemon Real. (as in pushing this button will rewrite history so that Pokemon evolved alongside humans.)

B) Retroactively makes Superpowers real (as in pushing this button will rewrite history so that humans have always had superpowers)

Neither of these buttons can end the world, pushing either will make its effect real, universe consequence-free. Some historical events might be different, but everything will remain the same for the most part. the only issue is that you can only push one.

[elderharpy]

Ever have that moment when you're overthinking something and you can't find the appropriate theme music for your thoughts

[chess-blackmyre]

Explaining the plot of a Fire Emblem game almost always sounds like you’re lying about the plot of a Fire Emblem game. I was explaining FE3H to a friend the other day, and described the CF route as “a bisexual princess-turned-emperor with religious trauma schemes with the mole people to overthrow the aristocracy and also the immortal lizard-people who secretly run the Church–including the Pope who is actually a dragon”

I love these games

[elderharpy]

the AM route is: Twink Prince goes insane from trauma and attempts to kill his bisexual princess-turned-emperor with religious trauma sister, while the mole people disappear. VW is: Biracial Memelord prince who decides to end racism by letting the insane prince fight his bisexual sister. ends up fighting Dubstep mole people.

Nothing makes sense in these games.

[elderharpy]

Hello

Kronya here, I have taken over Thales' Tumblr account to tell everyone to be gay, and do crime. No one in Shambhala knows what this blog is going to do so... be prepared for anything