I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide
Star Trek Captains in order of how fast they kill Tuvix:
1. Archer (does not feel bad)
2. Burnham (feels a Little Bad)
3. Janeway (we personally witnessed the devastation in them big ol I Had to Kill Somebody eyes, but she recovers quickly due to personal love of Tuvok and Neelix)
4. Sisko (spends awhile confirming every single possible alternative, does Not Feel Bad except when Tuvix directly calls him murderer)
5. Kirk (tries to Kobayashi Maru it. Dealer’s choice on if this results in a Tuvix AND Neelix and Tuvok live, or if it becomes one of those things that he carries foreverrr)
6. Picard (this could be a two parter episode with how much he would need to soliloquize on identity and the rights of the individual and the authority limits of a captain. But yeah, he’s killing Tuvix).
This doesn’t even touch on how the non-Janeway captains would react if their Tuvix was ALSO made up of one half Their Best Friend and Moral Compass.
I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
If you have children together, you BOTH need to be on the birth certificate/adoption papers. Some states don't automatically put both parents on there, and you may have to adopt your own child. This is REALLY important.
speaking of garak’s political career, ”legate damar died in my arms” is pretty unbeatable as a conversation ender. he could keep pulling that card for the rest of his life
”… and as he lay dying in my arms he managed a few final words, telling me that the 2379 motion for education reform needs to carry majority in the Assembly.”
”… and he told me with a final, shaky gasp that Gul M. in particular needs to be fired for incompetence effective immediately.”
”… and with his last breath, as the light was leaving his eyes, he declared that the combination of purple and red you’re wearing right now should be outlawed throughout the Union."
I recently went down a rabbit hole on sociological norms and phenomena in figure skating, and one passage I found particularly interesting was from a 2023 thesis by Sami Winawer who, in addition to being a student of political science and American studies at Brandeis University at the time, was also a member of the synchronized skating team Hayden Select. Here's the passage:
“While figure skating music has generally been more diverse since [music with lyrics became allowed] in 2014, the WSJ study found that American medal contenders tend to lean more heavily on classical music and soundtracks than skaters outside of medal contention. For instance, from 2009 through 2018, well over half of Nathan Chen’s programs were set to classical music. Figure skating judges are notoriously conservative, so it is not surprising that skaters in medal contention choose to err on the side of caution by sticking to the more traditional choice of classical music when deciding what the skate to.” (Winawer, S. "Breaking the Ice: An Analysis of Figure Skating and American Culture." 01 May 2023.)
It got me thinking about music choices by men's medal contenders at the 2026 Olympics and how it might or might not reflect a cultural shift in figure skating since this data was collected in 2014-2018. Are the top male skaters still "[erring] on the side of caution" with their music selection? Let's look at the music choices of a couple of men who were considered "medal contenders" going into the 2026 games.
Note: I'm counting music as "risky" or "interesting" choice if does NOT meet the definition of "classical", "warhorse", or "soundtrack" (including musical theatre) – that is not to say that programs done to music in these genres can't be interesting (they're some of my personal favorite programs!) or that skaters using that music aren't taking other kinds of risks. Just that it's not a departure from traditional figure skating culture. Obviously there's nothing wrong with "erring on the side of caution" by choosing to skate to more classical music – this music is "classic" for a reason. I doubt many of the skaters who choose classical/soundtrack music were even consciously "playing it safe". Warhorses wouldn't be warhorses if they didn't work.
ILIA MALININ: The music choices that most stuck out to me and led me to writing this post. SP to "Dies Irae" (classical music) and "The Lost Crown" (rap music). Rap was specifically called out by Winawer as a genre of music that was conspicuously absent from figure skating even after the legalization of lyrics in 2014. FP to several instrumental pieces by Asaf Avaidan, Alan Meyer, and Sergiu-Dan Mersan and "lyrics" written and read by himself.
MIKHAIL SHAIDOROV: SP to selections from the "Dune" soundtrack (note that soundtrack has always lagged just behind classical/opera in the most popular genre of music used by figure skaters). FP "Confessa" by Dimash and "The Diva Dance" from "The Fifth Element" soundtrack by Eric Serra. An interesting choice because, not only is it pop music, it's non-Western pop music with lyrics that are not in English. Take this quote from Winawer's thesis: "When skaters choose to skate to music with lyrics, the songs they choose are often in English, presumably so that the judges can understand the lyrics; therefore, skaters from English-speaking countries are more inclined to choose music with vocals than their non-English-speaking counterparts." Misha's music was a departure from tradition in this way.
YUMA KAGIYAMA: SP to "I Wish (Figure Skating Remix)", a Jazz piece by Stevie Wonder (lyrics conspicuously removed), arranged specifically for Yuma's program. Jazz, like other predominantly Black genres such as rap and hip-hop, is also less frequently used in figure skating due to the racist and elitist roots of the sport. I did not miss y'all calling this "elevator music". FP to "Turandot". Classic warhorse here, nothing too risky.
SHUN SATO: SP to orchestral "Ladies in Lavender" soundtrack by Joshua Bell. FP to "Firebrid". Both safe, classic choices.
ADAM SIAO HIM FA: SP to "La terre vue du ciel" soundtrack by Armand Amar. Orchestral soundtrack music – an interesting and unique interpretation, for sure, but still nothing out of the ordinary. FP to "The Creation of Adam" by Philip Glass. Same thing.
DANIEL GRASSL: SP to "Tango per la Liberta" by Stefano Letini. FP to "Conclave" – instrumental soundtrack music.
3/6 of these skaters used music from an unusual genre/language or an otherwise "risky" choice for at least one of their programs (4/12 in terms of total program count). So does this indicate the culture of figure skating and the tendency to "play it safe" and stick to the historical and cultural norms of figure skating has faded over recent years? Are skaters like Ilia, Yuma, and Misha actually pushing figure skating forward in this way? Let's compare this to some medal contenders from the 2018 games:
YUZURU HANYU: SP to "Ballade no. 1 in G minor" by Chopin – classical music. FP to "Seimei" from "The Yin-Yang Master" film soundtrack.
SHOMA UNO: SP to "Winter" by Vivaldi, another classical piece. FP to "Turandot".
JAVIER FERNANDEZ: SP to the "Modern Times" soundtrack by Charlie Chaplin. FP to selections from "Man of La Mancha" – the first musical theatre composition on this list. Although interesting and somewhat less common, both these choices do fall under "soundtrack" music.
NATHAN CHEN: SP to "Nemesis" by Benjamin Clementine, which wikipedia calls "rock opera" and "champer pop" – definitely a unique choice. FP to the soundtrack of "Mao's Last Dancer" and "The Rite of Spring" by Igor Stravinsky.
PATRICK CHAN: SP to "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas – the first pure rock music selection on this list! I'm of the opinion that more figure skaters need to explore the world of rock, so yay Chiddy. FP to "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen – while this is not classical and does have lyrics, it's also the most warhorse warhorse to ever warhorse, so I'm not counting it.
MIKHAIL KOLYADA: SP to "Piano Concerto No. 23 in A minor" by Mozart. Note that Winawer does say that Russian skaters specifically tend to be "particularly conservative" with their music choices, in part because art forms like ballet and opera remain culturally relevant in Russia in a way they do not in the United States, Canada, or Japan. FP to an Elvis Presley medley – a departure from tradition for a Russian athlete!
In comparison to 2025, we still have 3/6 skaters (but only 3/12 programs) skating to non-traditional selections. Now, lyrics in singles have only been legalized for about twelve years, and I wouldn't expect there to be a massive cultural shift away from classical and soundtrack music in that time, nor would I want there to be. I like that a lot of figure skating is still performed to instrumental music. And obviously, more than twelve skaters from two Olympics would need to be analyzed to actually establish any evidence of an actual paradigm shift since 2014. Are certain skaters/coaches just beginning to care less about what judges think of their music choices, or are the judges themselves catching up to the 21st century, thereby making it less risky to choose non-traditional music when you're in medal contention in the first place? I don't have answers to these questions, but I do look forward to see how music and artistry evolves in men's skating over the next quad and beyond!
I might regret throwing my hat in this ring, but I don't think Job's children is the only thing the new universe in the finale can be compared to. The first thing that came to my mind was Adam. He made it so his human father was his real father. And always had been. The finale creates a new universe without heaven and hell, god and satan, angels and demons. And it had always been that way. Notice in the dinner scene, all the human characters are dressed exactly the same way they did in the rest of the series.
Now, you can argue that it's still a copy, if a convincing one, and maybe I've just been in the star trek fandom too long to care (the old "do transporters kill people?" question), but I really do think this is the only way it could end. Not heaven incarnate, not hell incarnate, but human incarnate.
Honest (SPOILER) thoughts regarding the GO finale, I think a valuable piece of writing people are kinda overlooking is the INCREDIBLE subversion of their main motivations
Like we as the audience are lead to believe from the start that Crowley is this jaded, cynical little fucker who’s fond of one person and one person only. The typical “nothing in this world matters except you” grumpy who doesn’t give a shit about a universe that rejected him. Aziraphale, likewise, is pretty easily seen as the bigger picture guy, it’s obvious he loves Crowley deeply but it’s the mission of the larger world, the good of the people, that draws his time and energy- he chooses that responsibility more than Crowley. These are the roles we’ve seen them play and the archetypes we’ve kinda locked them in to. It matches with their grumpy vs sunshine attitudes, their aesthetics etc
Then in s2 we started noticing some cracks in it. We’ve met Angel Crowley who is a beautiful sunshiny dreamer who cares so deeply about the gorgeous world around him. Aziraphale starts to get a bit wrapped up in his own self interest from time to time, caring more about his bookshop or Crowley or even Jim than his larger mission. These little moments added depth to their characters, but ultimately didn’t shake our ideas of them. But THEN-
When they were asked by God what they would save, everything in the world has been stripped from them. The universe is lost- all that remains is each other and the final question of “what in the whole of existence matters to you most?” And we think we know what they’ll say, we think the way we’ve been taught all this time- Crowley is the selfish lover and Aziraphale is the heartbroken rejector.
But instead we meet their cores. We meet the truest stripped down versions of themselves and we learn the truth. Aziraphale picks Crowley. His lover, his life, the being that completes him. He makes the selfish, or loving, choice, no matter what it means to the world. And Crowley- Crowley is crying for the world. He is so utterly helplessly desperate for humanity to have their chance that he’s willing to throw away everything out of his sheer love for them. We’ve met the old part of him again, the artist and the lover, the selfless one he’s had within him all along. And for Aziraphale we’ve finally met the lover in him too, the one who’s finally willing to put his love for Crowley above all else.
I don’t know but I think it’s absolutely beautiful to get to know characters that you thought had these black and white motivations, only to discover that when it all comes down to it, they are capable of throwing everything we assumed about them out the window. There’s no black and white or even grey, but a whole world of mixed up colours and choices that make them whole. The sinful Angel and the selfless demon to the last.
Imagine finding out you have 90 minutes to tie up a love story that's developed over thousands of years. You create something beautifully in character and completely on point for the plot. You pay homage to the original writer's legacy in a fitting and poetic way and create an ending that not only shows the depth of two people's love for each other but the wider love they have for the thing that brought them together in the first place.
And then you go online to find the loudest outcry is that everyone hates it and "THEY DIDN'T EVEN KISS!"
I feel sorry for people who didn't get anything out of that stunning finale.
