Ao3 ❀ Wattpad ❀ Ko-fi Hello I'm a fanfic writer who is fairly new to tumblr so please be patient and inform me if I mess something up. I'm excited to learn and to have a new site to post my fics on. As always, thank you for reading!!
A/N: There is more details when you open the link for the fics, along with other sites to read them on if tumblr is not your preferred choice. This is my first time doing a masterlist so any advice would be helpful. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! <3
Mini-Masterlist
Stray Kids
Misc.
Love is a risk, but what's the alternative?- (Catra x Adora) Now that Catra's finally twenty it's time for her to follow the strings of fate. It’s been a mission from the Horde since birth that she’d follow the right handed string leading her to her greatest enemy. Yet, Catra feels pulled to figure out where her left handed love string will lead her. She only has one day to find both of them. Inspired from the song, The Alternative by Lyn Lapid.
The reblog chain is one of the things that makes Tumblr unlike anywhere else. All the notes on reblogs are attributed to the original post, no matter which branch people actually liked or reblogged. We want to keep encouraging conversations, and give contributors the recognition they deserve.
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If a reblog doesn't add anything, the love flows up to the last person in the chain who did. Your post doesn't lose notes just because people spread it quietly.
Past notes will stay on the original post — we're only changing what happens from here on out. Retroactively re-attributing all of them would be... a lot.
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Guys why was I obsessed this with ship as a teen? I think this is one of my first times shipping the unborn children of characters. Also sorry to anyone I jump scare reminding them of their youth.
current fan creation landscape is kinda like if you went to a party with a homemade cake and everyone takes a slice and silently thumbs up at you with no attempt to start a conversation except for occasionally some guy sits in the corner with a tape recorder critiquing the cake as though he was a restaurant critic and another guy is handing the cake to an uber driver like "yeah i need you to find a restaurant that makes cake like this so i can have more of it" and the only person that's talked to you in 30 minutes is a very sweet little guy who was like "hey i liked your cake" and then ran away apologizing for bothering you the moment you said thank you.
someone brought a cake analysis robot to feed the cake into to determine the exact ingredients and supposedly it can spit out the exact same cake. and if you're like dude. what. then they're like well if it bothers you you should have made more cake. i'm hungry and i deserve cake. and you're like dude we're at a party.
Three months later you find out that fifty people locked themselves in a room to discuss how much they loved your cake and how they wished you made more. None of them ever told you.
With the rise of AI and the well known epidemic of AI companies scraping Ao3 for training data most authors on Ao3 have locked down their fics to logged in users only. This is unfortunate for authors and readers. As an author I've noticed a steep drop in readership on fics restricted to logged in users and when recommending fics to my friends I've noticed that the folks without an account can't find the fics. The logged in users only toggle, not only keeps people without an account from reading a fic, but also from seeing its listing at all. More than 50% of fics I come across have this setting turned on.
So, you should get an AO3 account. I know this seems daunting and unfair because it's an invite only system but, you can invite yourself through the homepage if you don't already have one, and in the past few years I've never heard of someone who requested an invitation through this method, not getting one.
And for those of you who are hesitant because you don't write, that's okay. It's not weird at all to click on a commenter username and find that they have 0 works and 10,000 bookmarks. It might take a week for the invitation to actually show up, but I can almost guarantee you will get one, just keep an eye on your email.
It's free to join and donations are optional. You'll have more to read if you have an account and maybe give your favorite author the chance to protect their work from AI without a loss of readership and feedback.
Tags: Mafia Au, Humor, Injury, First Meetings, Fluffy Ending
Other Sites to Read on: Ao3 or Wattpad
Words: 3,830
Seungmin leaned his head on the window of the bus, while on his ride to work. It was the same path as always, passing by the same boring lifeless buildings and streets. There had been a time when the city felt new and exciting, but that seemed like ages ago to Seungmin. For the moment he continued on the same path as always, working his life away.
When he first arrived in the city he had big dreams, but having to support his family and pay for his necessities left little funding for Seungmin to continue dreaming. He had been working three jobs while in University. After finishing his senior year he still had yet to get hired full time by any company. His standards kept getting lower and lower after each failed interview. He’d take just about any offer, but it seemed that he still needed to save up for better clothes to pass the interview process. It wasn’t hard to notice that the people who always passed had shiny black dress shoes. Seungmin looked down at his raggedy tennis shoes with holes starting to form at the toes and let out a sigh.
Out of his three jobs, the one he was on the bus for was definitely the most boring. However, that was part of the reason why Seungmin chose it in the first place. Working late at a convenience store meant less customers to deal with, while getting more free time. He originally got the job to have time for studying while still working, but after graduation he switched his free time to job searching instead.
The bus made the familiar turn that snapped Seungmin from his thoughts. He pressed the button next to his seat, letting the driver know to stop at the next station. His other jobs included waitressing and house cleaning. Both were more interesting than the convenience store, because he had a goal to do and less down time. The bus’s breaks let out a shrill squeak as it came to a stop.
Getting off the bus, Seungmin looked up at the night sky. He remembered dreaming about photographing its beauty. It was definitely a challenge with the cheap camera he owned back home, but the stars were also more vibrant there than the ones above him in the city. The bus let out a hiss as it began to move again and Seungmin agreed that he should do the same as he started walking towards his job.
Seungmin tended to listen to music on his journey, but his earbuds had been murdered after his recent laundry expedition. The loss was definitely taking effect on his far too quiet walk. He couldn’t help but speed up as he approached the second to last corner he needed to round.
There was a group of guys waiting around the corner. Seungmin’s body pulled back out of reflex. They didn’t look like the most friendly type either, face tattoos and all. Still, Seungmin had places to be, so he continued moving forward.
A hand grabbed Seungmin’s elbow causing him to halt. “Is there a problem?” Seungmin raised an eyebrow to the intruder of his personal space. Quickly scanning the group for any familiar faces, he couldn’t place a single name. He was having a hard time figuring out what their deal was. Blank faces stared back at him. Seungmin rolled his eyes, if they wanted a fight they picked the wrong person. He was far too tired to care about anything they had in mind.
He attempted to shrug off the hold on his arm, but the other guy didn’t budge. Apparently the action had woken the rest of the guys from their bewilderment as snickering came from different members. They all put on grins with varying amounts of menace. Seungmin drew back, but the arm kept him in place. He inhaled to scream, but a cloth blocked any fresh air from getting through. His eyes rolled back as his body went limp, passing out on the spot.
Waking up, Seungmin didn’t know quite what he expected, but being tied to a chair wasn’t on the list. It was a classic move he’d seen in plenty of movies, but normally the people tied up would have some idea of what was going on. However, Seungmin could only sit around and wait for a semblance of an explanation.
The room was small and dark with gray brick walls and a concrete floor. Although he knew it was pointless, Seungmin still pulled on the ropes tying his hands together behind his back. The ropes failed to budge. Whoever these guys were, they seemed professional. Seungmin didn’t have anywhere to lay his head back so he let it hang forward
After some time of deadly silence, Seungmin heard the door's lock behind him click open. By the way it opened Seungmin could tell the door carried a good amount of weight and that it was probably made out of metal. Multiple footsteps surrounded him. When they stopped moving, Seungmin finally raised his head.
He was greeted with the sight of a man in a bright red suit gazing down at him. “Gold rings, how classy.” Seungmin thought sarcastically. Still, the black suited men behind the red one kept him from speaking up too much.
The red suited man pumped his fists in the air. “I’ve finally outsmarted Han and taken a piece off of his chessboard.”
“What the hell is this guy going on about?”
Seungmin could gather that the man was the leader of whatever operation they were running, so he decided to let him in on the truth. “Listen, I hate to burst your bubble, but I think you’ve got the wrong guy. I don't even know anyone named Han.” There was an instant stillness that fell over the room. Seungmin was definitely intimidated with everyone’s eyes on him. He had to think of something fast to defuse the situation.
“Just like you guys have your job, I have mine and I’d really hate to miss it. I haven’t seen anything so, if you could just let me go I’ll be on my way and out of your hair.”
The leader cracked a smile. “You’re good, I’ll give you that kid. If I didn’t know any better you’d have me convinced.”
Seungmin furrowed his brow. “Maybe this guy is stupider than I thought.”
The man sighed, snapping his fingers. One of the men in the back pulled an envelope from his suit. The man ripped it open, pouring the photographs out into his hand and flashing them in front of Seungmin.
“Ring a bell?”
Seungmin grimaced. “I wish it did.” Seungmin kept the thought in his head as he looked for details in the photographs. Sure, it definitely was him with his convenience store vest and all, but who was he talking to? From what Seungmin could gather, it was just a man in a tank top with a very prominent tattoo of a cheesecake located on the back of his shoulder just barely peeking through his muscle shirt.
Seeing no reaction, the man spoke up. “Not just anyone can walk around with a tattoo like this.” He jabbed his finger at the cheesecake body art for emphasis. “The man who tattooed that is dead after all.” Seungmin squinted at the inked arm. While he was certain the suited man in front of him had no reason to lie, he couldn’t really figure out what was so special about it.
“Because I talked to a random guy at my job I’m now being held hostage, seems fair.” Seungmin couldn’t help the bitter thought. The suited men held stoic stone cold faces different from the guys who kidnapped him on the street. Seungmin let a sigh escape his lips.
“So, you think just because I talked to him he’s going to save me?”
The man shook his head, smirking. “Listen. Han has been stifling my shipments, slowly pushing my men outside of the city. He has this whole legal movement he is going for. Trying to go above board has never been my thing. I’m not sure why you get into this industry if it is.” He took a pause flipping his wrist to look at his gold watch. “I just want to talk to him and with your help, he should be here soon.”
Seungmin recounted all the information he received in his head. “So a man who wants to switch the business to legal is the reason I got kidnapped? Does he have a justice boner and helping out random people gets him off? Why else would these stupid suited men choose me?”
The red suited man didn’t wait for Seungmin’s reply and gave a simple nod to a man in the back. Everyone but two suited men followed the leader. Seungmin looked at the stragglers for any idea of what to do. He didn’t have to sit in awkward silence for long as a black bag covered his view.
The hood was ripped off of Seungmin’s head, causing him to squint his eyes as they adjusted to the light. A glance around the room found an office, desk included on one side, and a couch-like waiting room on the other. Sure enough, in the giant leather chair behind the desk sat the leader from earlier. Seungmin was seated in the middle of the room, tied up in a square metal chair. He had nothing else to do, so just like the other six suited men in the room, he listened to the leader’s one sided phone call.
“What do you mean he blew open the door?
“The convenience store boy was supposed to leverage so we could talk.” Seungmin didn’t miss the pointed look the red suited man gave him at the end of that statement. The man appeared baffled as he continued. “Not for him to plan a full attack.
“Yes, I know he used to be miraculous, but the keywords are ‘used to be’ I didn’t think the man still had it in him.” Seungmin could hear the practical pride and smile as the man spoke. An enigma was the only way to describe the leader. He placed his phone down as loud footsteps approached the door.
Seungmin squeezed his eyes when the door burst open with a blast of a shotgun on its lock. “I just wanted to talk, there’s no need for all this bloodshed. I thought you wanted to turn over a new leaf.” The leader threw his hands up in defense as he calmly stayed seated behind his desk.
There was a man with a shotgun that made way for an intruder to enter the room. The intruder whipped his head pointing his pistol towards the leader. Guns were pointed in return by the black suited men in the room. Seungmin’s eyes caught on the tattoo peaking through the intruder's black tank top. It was the same one from the photos shoved in his face prior. He was the reason why Seungmin was missing his mundane job. Han.
Han turned his head slightly towards Seungmin as if he was making sure he was really there. He stood with sweat dripping down his neck as evidence of the hard work it took him to get there. Smirking, Han gave Seungmin a wink.
“Looks like I’m going to die tied up to this stupid chair.” Seungmin hopelessly thought.
Not wasting much time with Seungmin, Han instead turned his attention back to the red suited man. The leader stood up with a cocky expression as Han swiftly moved towards him. Han gripped the leader’s shirt with one hand while the other held a pistol to the side of his head. The surrounding suited men tightened their guns in response, but Han didn’t seem to mind one bit.
Han looked the leader dead in the eyes as he spoke. “I came here today to tell you two things. One, to make sure you know I’m not scared to go above the law when it matters. Two, to warn you. I know your businesses in and out. One phone call to the police and you’ll be behind bars. It doesn’t matter which cops you’ve got in your back pocket, because keeping me off the streets is ten times more desirable to them than keeping you free.”
Air from the office chair’s cushions sounded as Han pushed him down with the hand that once gripped his suit. Han tucked his gun away and moved towards Seungmin, untying him. The ropes fell to the ground with a thud. There was a hesitance from Seungmin once he was finally free. The red suited man took it as an opportunity and placed himself in front of the door.
Seungmin couldn’t help himself as he got up to slightly hide behind Han. Although he was scared he knew which one was the safer option at the moment. One of them had placed him here, while the other one was trying to set him free. It wasn't a hard decision.
Hovering his hand over his gun, Han stared daggers at the man as he spoke. “Is there a problem?”
“Listen, I know I messed up. You’ve clearly shown me that now. I won’t hold it against you.” There was almost a pure like smile that came over the leader as he spoke. “I didn’t know you still had the fight in you.”
Han gripped his gun much to the dismay of the other suited men in the room who tightened the hold on their guns once again, but just like before this didn’t seem to phase Han in the slightest. “What are you getting at?”
The leader held up one hand letting the suited men know to loosen their grips. “I want a meeting, just one so we can discuss things and come to an agreement so we stop stepping on each other’s toes.”
Han tilted his head from side to side almost like each side was a different option. He stayed on one side before sharply inhaling.
“Alright, you’ve got yourself a meeting.” Han pulled his gun out in an instant, pointing it at the man. “If any funny business happens in your neck of the woods before then, I won’t hesitate to follow through on my earlier threat.”
The red suited man backed away from the door with a slight smirk as he held both hands up and Seungmin could only assume everything was mutually agreed upon. Han reached his hand behind himself towards Seungmin. Before Seungmin knew it, he was gripping Han’s hand as he was pulled out of the room.
Any possible wounds from Seungmin’s kidnapping incident had long since faded. Seungmin was wiping down a table as the chimes of the door rang throughout the convenience store. He gave the table some last few swift wipes so he could stand behind the cash register and ring up the customer.
Mindlessly swinging his rag while walking, he saw the customer hovering his hand over some steri strips. A smile washed over his face once he spotted the familiar cheesecake tattoo.
Seungmin had a skip in his step as he approached Han.
“What’s a guy like-” Seungmin paused. Panic covered his face at the sight of Han with a cut on his forehead and a gash on his arm. “What the hell happened?”
Han chuckled. “Come one, doesn't this bring back memories?” Seungmin stared puzzledly at the man. “You know, like the first time we met?”
That’s when the memory came to Seungmin.
Seungmin ran his fingers through his hair. He was truly miserable at work. When he was studying he could always look busy, but with job searching he was always using his phone which just made him look lazy. He normally didn’t mind the way he looked too much, but he wasn’t currently alone in the store.
A guy had wandered in, picking up some medical supplies. Seungmin hadn’t even glanced up at the man, simply scanning the items he laid out on the counter. He expected the guy to take his items and leave, which was what most people did. Especially late at night, but the man had caught him off guard when he took one of the metal tables in the back. Seungmin mentally debated whether it was a good or bad thing that he'd end up having some work to do by cleaning the table when the man left.
Seungmin sent a passive glance in the man's direction. He couldn’t really tell what he was doing as the man seemed to stay hidden from Seungmin’s view using the shelves as a buffer. Being bored anyways, Seungmin decided to make it his mini mission to figure out what was going on. He took a clipboard deciding, pretending to do inventory would be his best bet.
Peering between the shelves, Seungmin could finally get a good view of the man. He was making strange faces with an exaggerated bottom lip in the reflection of his turned off phone. Seungmin's eyes finally caught on the cause of everything, a scratched up cut along his bottom lip.
“Do you need some help?” Seungmin wasn’t sure if he offered help because he was truly that bored or if it was because he felt especially bad for the man. He knew on a good day he might not have even sent the man a second glance.
“Please, if you wouldn’t mind.”
Seungmin took the iodine solution given by the man, and poured it on a cotton swab. Staring intently at the cut, Seungmin lightly tapped the solution on the cut, disinfecting it. He was a little shocked by how stoic the man in front of him was. He knew the sharp sting caused by iodine on a fresh cut, but the man merely stared back at Seungmin as he worked.
The man appeared a little dazed as Seungmin finished touching up his cut. Seungmin couldn’t help but to sniff the air out of the possibility that the man before him was drunk. He couldn’t smell any alcohol and instead smelled his cologne, a well blended mixture of lilac and citrus.
“Would you mind also touching up my right hand? I can’t really fix it up well, as it’s my dominant hand.”
Pulling himself from the citrus haze, Seungmin answered back. “Sure. No problem.”
Seungmin took the man’s hand into his own as he touched up the back of it. The hums from the refrigerators were the only constant sound in the store as Seungmin quietly worked. Silence surrounded the men like a peaceful bubble protecting them from the outside world. Staying in the bubble seemed to be something both of them deeply yearned for.
However, once Seungmin had finished patching up the other, it left little reason to keep the bubble intact. “Thank you for helping me.” It was the first time Seungmin had seen a strong emotion from the man. He appeared generally happy as his face lit up.
Seungmin went to gather the materials he used, but the man stopped him. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean this up. I’ll make sure to get it spotless.” Giving a simple nod, Seungmin took his place back behind the register.
As the man passed by the register walking out of the store, he gave Seungmin a wink. “I’m Jisung. It was nice meeting you.”
Seungmin and Han sat at the table as Seungmin finished patching up the gashed arm. “Why did you tell me your name was Jisung?”
“Because it is. I just go by Han on the field. It’s not as common a name and it sorta just stuck when I was out on the job.” Jisung gave a simple shrug not seeming to mind the use of either name.
Seungmin gave his work on Jisung’s arm a once-over, making sure his injury was secure from all sides. Seemingly satisfied, Seungmin moved on to the cut along Jisung’s forehead. It wasn’t as big as the gash on his arm, so Seungmin saved it for last. He may have also saved it for last because of the position he was in now.
Jisung had doe eyes as he looked up into Seungmin’s eyes. The sight was breathtaking. He seemed so small at that moment, like a little flame Seungmin could grasp with both of his hands if he tried hard enough. Seungmin couldn’t contain the warmth that seeped into him. It poured out in a loving smile as he gazed down at Jisung. He truly adored this man.
Jisung gave a cheeky grin. “Careful with a look like that, I might have to steal you to keep you all to myself.”
“Won’t hear any complaints from me.” Jisung moved his face up, now parallel with Seungmin’s. His gaze trickled down from Seungmin’s eyes to his lips. A tongue peeked through Jisung’s lips as he wet them.
“Can I…”
“Yes.” It was a simple answer to an incomplete question, but that didn’t stop both of the men from moving forward towards each other. Their faces were inches away, both feeling the other’s shallow breath.
The close hovering was shattered when their lips finally met. They could practically feel the fireworks going off above them, but that didn’t stop them from keeping their eyes closed so they could give all their attention to feeling the other. The initial press didn’t last for long as they both opened their mouths, inviting each other in. Tongues brushed past each other as they looked forward to tasting more. Seungmin let out a tiny gasp of air before diving back in, pulling Jisung closer by the beat-up tank he always seemed to wear.
He could feel Jisung’s smile as they continued moving their lips. If kissing him could ever stop his smirk, Seungmin would find out. His grip slowly turned into a caress of Jisung’s chest as he savored the taste of Jisung’s lips. Jisung pulled back with the same smirk as always, and it looked like Seungmin would have to try again later, to finally kiss that smile off his face.
After they separated Seungmin gave a light laugh as he spoke. “You always ask like it’s the first time.”
“It always feels just as nerve wracking as the first time,” Jisung confessed without taking his eyes off of him.
“Come on, let's get to that cut on your forehead.” Seungmin looked away, raking his eyes over the laid out supplies they used for Jisung’s arm.
Jisung let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine.” It didn’t take long for a playful grin to spread across his face once again. “Don’t forget I still plan on kidnapping you away from here.”
Seungmin started opening the iodine solution for Jisung’s cut. “Is it really kidnapping if I go willingly?”
Jisung couldn’t resist his lover, placing a small peck on his lips. “You make me look forward to waking up tomorrow.”
“You make it worth waking up today.”
➤ Masterlist ❀ Ao3 ❀ Wattpad
A/N: Originally I was going to explain that Seungmin got kidnapped because Han had been sending his guys to tail Seungmin. It was a combo of making sure Seungmin stayed safe along with making sure Seungmin wasn’t a spy. However, after writing the ending I just couldn’t seem to find a place for it. As always make sure you are doing the best you can to take care of yourself, and thank you for reading!! <3 <3 <3
I keep seeing posts and comments about how "it's so hard to leave comments on a fic" because either readers don't know what to say, or it's just too much emotional/mental work to come up with something.
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I can’t believe how much Yuri on Ice broke containment for MAPPA to shut it down. It was in the Steven Universe, Adventure Time, and in the actual 2018 Olympics. Like they started a movement...
I think at the beginning they had nothing to lose, so why not take a risk? Now that they have something to lose and they're afraid. It's sad when companies start playing it safe and forget their routes. They really made waves, I wonder if they'll ever be able to make anything like that again.
Born to make history, forced to become a part of it.
Pairing: Felix / Hyunjin (Minor or Background, Han Jisung | Han / Lee Minho | Lee Know)
Tags: Smut/18+, College/University AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Non-Linear Narrative, First Meetings, Old Money
Other Sites to Read on: Ao3 or Wattpad
Words: 15,070
Part: (2/2)
⤷ Back to Part 1
Hyunjin couldn’t look at the man in front of him. He thought that the business deal he was sitting on with his dad would be like any other. He had terribly miscalculated. In front of him was one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen. He tried to focus on the deal going down, but it was frustratingly hard with the man sitting directly across the table from him. He simply elected to ignore the man altogether, centering his thoughts on the papers in front of him.
When he finally got the nerve to look up at the man he had disappeared. He quickly excused himself from the meeting. He looked all around the building, but there was no sign of him anywhere. Only a memory in his head, he worried it would soon fade.
The grass resembled triangles thanks to the intersecting sidewalks. Hyunjin and Changbin continued walking straight on their paved path. Sunny skies above made the day feel like a warm blanket when Hyunjin walked outside. It felt comforting. Hyunjin would probably end up asking Changbin if they could study outside for a change rather than spending time in one of their friend’s dingy dorm rooms.
A swift wind blew by the pair as the man from the meeting suddenly approached them. He was clearly out of breath, but trying to play it off. Hyunjin looked around wondering where he had run from, yet he only saw the vast open space of the campus around them.
“You’re Hyunjin right?” Hyunjin’s eyes grew large at the man remembering his name. “Well, I’m Felix. I'm-not-sure-if-you-remember-me-from-our-parents' business deal but…” Felix paused to catch his breath from speaking way too fast. A smile crept on Hyunjin’s face at the heavy breathing. A desire to see him flushed and out of breath on his bed flourished inside Hyunjin. His mind soon wondered how the man would look without his clothes. What areas could Hyunjin touch to make him the most sensitive? Was he loud in bed? He hoped he was loud.
“Is that something that interests you?”
Hyunjin was taken aback by the question. He wished he could supply an answer, but he couldn’t even come close to figuring out what Felix was trying to ask him.
Felix continued. “Er I guess not, sorry for asking.” Felix let out an awkward laugh as he waved him goodbye. He then sprinted off in the opposite direction. Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows. “Does he run everywhere?”
“He seems…” Changbin trailed off.
“Cute?” Hyunjin attempted to supply the answer to Changbin’s unfinished sentence, while also stating what he was on his mind.
Ignoring the remark, Changbin elected to finish his original sentence. “Nice.” He paused, then continued in an exasperated tone. “Don’t try to ruin him.”
Hyunjin playfully rolled his eyes at the statement then gave a simple shrug as he attempted to defend himself. “I just wanna have some fun.”
“I don’t mind what you want, but he doesn’t seem like the type who usually goes for hookups.” Changbin worried that the boy he just met was way in over his head. Hyunjin wasn’t the type to go easy on someone. Yet, oddly enough when they spoke Hyunjin seemed just as naive as the boy to Changbin for a moment.
“Oh and you're the expert on hooking up and not me.” Hyunjin knew he was being snarky, but couldn’t help it when he knew Changbin didn’t know anything about sleeping around.
Changbin raised his hands in defense. “I’m just saying.”
“I know that you might be right, but I’m going to at least try.” Hyunjin gave a playful pout as he spoke. “I just want to taste.”
“Eww keep that stuff in your head or with whoever you take to bed. I just don’t wanna hear it.” Changbin started running towards their next class. He avoided Hyunjin like they were five and Hyunjin had cooties.
“Come on, please.” Jisung was on his knees begging Hyunjin to go to his stupid yacht party. Hyunjin was planning on going anyway, but Jisung had informed him there was a catch. He’d have to explain to his boyfriend that they were just friends.
“I don’t want to be involved in your stupid lover’s spat.” Hyunjin didn’t want anything to do with Jisung and his complicated relationship with Minho. He knew things could go south so fast with that man, because Minho was simply crazy.
“But you are already involved.” Hyunjin glared at him. It wasn’t his fault that Jisung had a crazy boyfriend. If Hyunjin had an insane boyfriend he would have never sent the massive amount of heart texts Jisung did. Jisung continued trying to coax the man. “I just need you to back me up.”
Hyunjin spoke through clenched teeth. “I’m not the one who sent all the heart messages. It was all your doing. I shouldn’t have to say anything to him.”
“Which is why I’ll do all the talking.” Jisung placed his hand on his chest to emphasize that he would take the brunt of the situation.
Hyunjin gave him a side eye. “All the talking?”
“Of course.” Jisung gave an innocent smile. Hyunjin wondered if Jisung himself believed his own lie.
Hyunjin knew it was better just to say no and not get involved. Even though Jisung promised he’d do all the talking, Hyunjin would still have to end up having to do some explaining. However, Hyunjin let out a sigh, “Alright”.
Jisung lit up and ran to hug him with open arms. Hyunjin simply put his hand up blocking him from the action. “Do you really want your boyfriend to be more mad?”
“Oh right. You think a high five would be cool?” Jisung raised his hand. Hyunjin couldn’t believe Jisung was so smitten with a guy like this. He gave Jisung his high five. He only supported their relationship because of how happy Jisung seemed by it, plus when Minho got jealous Jisung never seemed too terribly worried. Hyunjin sometimes thought that Jisung enjoyed making plans for wooing back Minho more than he enjoyed the actual relationship itself. Going around in circles like that seemed exhausting to Hyunjin. Still, whatever it was, it brought Jisung joy.
Hyunjin’s head seemed to slowly sway side to side along with the yacht. When he, Chan, and Changbin had entered the boat, the water was calm and still. After a while of sitting Hyunjin had begun to feel all the tiny little movements the boat made, around the time his leg had started bouncing quadruple time of the motions.
Jisung was lounging on the longest couch in the room while Chan, Changbin, and Hyunjin were squished into the smaller couch. The boys had chosen their couches without much thought and didn’t mind being packed tightly together. It was much better than being in the middle of a possible warzone. Hyunjin pictured how the lovely room would turn into a battlefield as soon as Minho stepped in front of the security guard by the doorway.
At the thought of Minho’s arrival, nightmares Hyunjin had last night flashed in front of him. The vivid taste of tissues entered his senses. Hyunjin almost scratched his arms at the memory of being cooked in an airfryer at 180 degrees. In all of them he could see Minho’s menacing smile looking down at him. He was sure that if Minho wanted to he could make his nightmares reality. He shivered, trying to get his thoughts away from himself.
Changbin must have noticed one or all of Hyunjin’s actions for he placed a drink in front of him. “Come on. Just a sip to take the edge off.”
Jisung’s voice rang out. “Nope. We’re not doing that. The last thing you want Minho to think is that you’re some sloppy drunk that does stuff like this all the time.”
“Says the sloppy drunk who caused all this,” Hyunjin mumbled.
Jisung tried to defend himself, but Chan beat him to it. “Even if he did cause this mess, he’s trying to fix it. So, as his friend you should be doing your best to support him.” Chan narrowed his eyes on the drink. “That means having a clear head when doing so.”
Changbin shrugged them off, taking the drink in his hand for himself instead. Hyunjin sighed at the conclusion everyone agreed on. He didn’t think his head was clear with all his thoughts bouncing around jumbling up his mind. Just half a glass would clear some of his nerves.
Yet, Hyunjin raised his hand in defeat. “Fine.” Changbin moved past Chan to check out what other liquor Jisung had stashed around. As Chan sooted over to sit close to Hyunjin giving him a warm smile.
Clearing his throat Chan put on his classic parental voice. “Listen as someone who's literally been there, it will be over before you know it. Plus, Minho might jump ship.” Hyunjin perked up at the thought.
Jisung had a devilish smirk. “That won’t happen this time. Even if it does, I have precautions in place.” Hyunjin deflated back into the mess he was before, leg tapping and all.
“Even so,” Chan continued. “It’s all just anticipation, right now.” He then leaned in close to Hyunjin’s ear so Jisung couldn’t hear. “Plus in no time they’ll probably only have eyes for each other and could care less if you were even in the room. You’ll wanna book it fast if you see Minho’s sex eyes though.” His body seemed to shake at the thought. Hyunjin was glad to have someone with experience here with him.
The security guard’s radio boomed through the room. “Code Bunny.”
Jisung lit up. “Well, he’s here so that wait will soon be over.” He seemed to practically waltz out of the room. Hyunjin could only assume he was making sure the precautions he mentioned earlier held up. If they failed, he was sure Jisung would simply take his helicopter to track down Minho.
“Love makes you crazy.” Hyunjin kept the thought private. He briefly wondered if love could make himself crazy. A jarring ping fill Hyunjin’s ear before he could dwell too much on it.
Chan gave a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that. Let me go text them back.” Chan went towards the window with phone in hand. The empty space next to Hyunjin was filled by Changbin once again.
Giving out a cheeky grin, Changbin shook the bottle in front of Hyunjin. Hyunjin glanced around to check that Chan was immersed in his phone. He was dumbly smiling at whoever he was texting back and forth with. The perfect distraction for Hyunjin to get wasted.
He was on his third cup when Chan loudly screamed. “YAH!” Hyunjin, knowing this would be his last opportunity, quickly moved his hand towards his mouth. The action was halted by Chan’s faster hand. The liquid spilled towards the carpeted ground, ignoring Hyunjin’s open mouth completely.
Frustrated, Chan spoke, “I thought we agreed on no alcohol.”
“I never agreed to such a thing. Changbin, did you hear me say that?”
“I don’t believe you did say such a thing.”
Chan rolled his eyes at their antics. He pulled the glass out from Hyunjin’s hand, finally resting easier now that the glass was away from him. There was much left inside of it anyways after the majority of the liquid landed on the floor. He sent a warning glare towards Changbin as Changbin grabbed the bottle, only softening when Changbin handed it to him. Everyone turned towards the door when it slammed opened.
Jisung stood in the doorway in horror. “I leave the room for one minute and come back to see you’ve messed up the place? I’m not so surprised by you two.” Jisung pointed at Changbin and Hyunjin. Then he shook his head disapprovingly. “But Chan, how could you let me down like this?”
Chan's mouth hung open in shock. “You think I wanted any of this to happen?” He gestured to the mess while Hyunjin and Changbin were in a fit of giggles.
“Either way Minho is on his way up so if you guys can’t clean it up, at least cover it.”
“You guys are just gonna make a mess in here anyways,” Hyunjin sarcastically spoke. He was a bit shocked at how his nerves had dissipated so quickly. Maybe, Changbin did give good advice. Was alcohol really the cure to nervousness?
“Be that as it may, Minho tends to only like the messes he causes.” Jisung spoke nonchalantly as if it was a normal thing to say. The rest of the room reacted in pure horror or shock.
“Ew, too much info. How do I delete memories again?” Changbin shivered from disgust at the new information. Hyunjin smiled at his friend’s pain receiving a warning glare in return.
Chan cleared the tension. “Alright, let’s try to get the stain out. If that doesn’t work we’ll move that rug on top of it.” Jisung stood behind the group tapping his foot impatiently as they cleaned up the spilled alcohol. After they were done a peculiar rug was placed under the small couch.
Jisung was more at ease with the mess out of the way. “Minho will be here soon so, if you guys wanna head out now’s your chance.”
“Alright, then,” Chan spoke. Both he and Changbin stood up to start heading towards the door.
“Wait, they aren’t staying?”
“No, why would we want to stay?” Changbin furrowed his brow.
“Because you want to support your dearest friend.” Hyunjin gave puppy dog eyes while lightly pulling at the oldest’s arm.
Chan indulged him. “As dear as you may be, we are far more scared of Minho and Jisung in the same room after having a fight.” Chan seemed to recall memories. Hyunjin had only heard the stories from when Chan had tried to step in the middle of the couple’s relationship. Chan thought they were becoming unhealthy and wanted to change things, needless to say it was one of Minho and Jisung’s longest fights. Chan learned his lesson of stepping in between the two of them. He more or less supported the couple now.
Changbin patted Hyunjin’s back. “Good luck pal.” Hyunjin could only cross his arms and pout like a child who heard no for the first time.
Chan held up his phone, shaking it towards Changbin. “I have intel that says beer pong is going on two floors down.”
“Perfect.” Changbin gave one final glance at a disappointed Hyunjin before finally exiting the room with Chan.
Hyunjin moved to the middle of his couch rather than being on Jisung’s. The new space next to him allowed him to breathe easier, but at the same time made him feel more exposed. Minho could easily jump him if wanted.
Jisung seemed to grow more and more eager for Minho’s arrival while Hyunjin only wanted to curl more and more into himself. Maybe Minho wouldn’t be able to see him if he was small enough.
The door made a high pitched squeak as it swung open. “I said I got it.” There was no mistaking it, that was Minho’s voice. Hyunjin studied Minho as he made his way to the center of the room followed by one of Jisung’s guards. His arms were crossed like Hyunjin had done earlier, but Minho wasn’t pouting, he was annoyed. He already seemed over everything before Jisung even had the chance to explain.
Jisung cleared his throat just to speak timidly. “Well… Hyunjin can explain.” Hyunjin knew this would happen, but it didn’t change his overwhelming disappointment any less.
He spoke through gritted teeth. “I’d love to explain.” Hyunjin really should have prepared more, but thought maybe just explaining the situation as it was would be the best. “You know how Jisung gets when he’s drunk…”
The room was void of any guards and the couple was now sitting on the same couch talking amongst themselves. The murky air around when Minho had first entered the room was almost cleared. Yet, Hyunjin hadn’t quite found the right time to leave. He didn’t want to ruin the moment between the two of them or make things worse, so he silently watched the couple from his couch. They hadn’t been paying much attention to him regardless.
Minho finally turned to look at Jisung. “But there’s one thing you must promise to never do again.”
Jisung grabbed both of Minho’s hands with his own. “And what is that, my love?” Hyunjin turned away from the scene completely at the pet name. He found it far too intimate to be uttered when not in private. He was close to gagging, but kept quiet and unseen by the love birds.
“Never let Seungmin best me in anything again.” There was a certain bite to his tone that would send most people into a panic, but Jisung gave a simple pout.
“I only used Seungmin because I was desperate to see you.”
Minho rolled his eyes. “Desperate or not, if you still want me around then you won’t even think about ever using him again.” Jisung immediately nodded his head with understanding. Minho straddled Jisung’s lap, leaning in, lips hovering over Jisung’s. Hyunjin abruptly cut off the situation.
He leapt from the couch loudly clearing his throat. “If you guys are good now… Can I leave?” He couldn’t see if Minho had the so-called sex eyes Chan talked about, but he also wasn’t eager to find out. He pointed back and forth between the two boys. “I’d rather not see what I think is about to happen.”
Minho’s eyes were blizzard-like when he turned his head to look at Hyunjin. “Why are you still here?” It sent shivers down Hyunjin’s spin. Definitely not sex eyes, but it could still give Hyunjin nightmares nonetheless. He promptly left the room. The chilly night air filled his lungs as he attempted to head down to where the party was at. He paused at the top of the stairs, recognizing the man at the table from earlier in the day. He did a quick check through the reflection of a window. Pleased with his mirror image he straightened out his shirt and stood tall at the top of the stairs.
“Just my luck.” Hyunjin smirked as he made his way down the steps to Felix. “I never took you for a vodka type of guy.”
Hyunjin glanced at the time on his phone. He definitely had some extra time to kill. He scrolled through his text hovering over some of his usuals hook-ups before shaking his head. Although he wanted to pass the time, he wanted something a bit more fresh. A gust of wind passed by him reminding him of chilly night air on the boat, from a few days prior. That’s when he decided to text Felix.
You doing anything rn?
No, do you need something?
I was looking to kill some time. You at your apartment?
Yes
Mind if I come over?
Hyunjin tapped the side of his phone as he watched the three dots on his screen pop up and go away. Maybe it was too soon. It had only been three days since they hooked up. Normally Hyunjin would wait at least a week, but his mood was different this time around.
Hyunjin would also normally go hard in bed. It took a lot for him to get off, teasing, orgasm denial, and roleplay were common. However, when he and Felix had sex it was quite plain and vanilla, refreshing, but different from his norm. Although he had done quite a bit of teasing, he still was bewildered at the normalcy of it all. It wasn’t caused by the alcohol. Hyunjin had plenty of sex while being a little tipsy and it never felt like that. Hyunjin felt like it was time to see if Felix was the cause.
With a ding from his phone Hyunjin smiled. A warmth bloomed in his chest when he made his way towards Felix. He wouldn’t have to wait long for the answer.
Hyunjin had been on his way home when he passed by Felix’s apartment building seeing the lights still on he froze. Chan had said that Felix looked like a zombie earlier during the day in the library. Could it be that he was still working? Even when the stars have been the only thing shining in the sky for hours.
Around three months into their arrangement, Hyunjin stood outside of Felix’s door. He raised his fist up and knocked lightly. It was late and he didn’t want to disturb any of the neighboring apartments around Felix’s. He heard some rummaging then the sound of a turning lock.
The door opened just a crack to expose a hunched over dead-eyed furrow-browed Felix. “What are you doing here?” At the sight of bags forming under Felix’s eye and the disarray of the apartment from what little Hyunjin could see of it, he knew he had made the right call.
“I heard you could use a distraction.”
“From who?” Felix squinted clearly not ready to think about anything else but the assignment he was working on. His hair was sticking up in places Hyunjin had only seen after a hot and heavy night with him. The scowl he seemed to default to in this state was also new to Hyunjin.
Hyunjin shrugged. “I have my ways. Now, why don’t you let me in?”
“I look like a mess.”
Hyunjin couldn’t deny that he didn’t look like his normal put together self. His hands had marks from where he had been gripping his pen. A small cut on one of his pointer fingers looked like it came from flipping through too many pages. After examining everything Hyunjin only needed one word to perfectly describe him: endearing.
“You look like you’ve been working hard.” Hyunjin recognized that lying wouldn’t help the man in front of him in the state he was in.
“Is that a complement?” Felix was normally quite reserved with Hyunjin. It was a breath of fresh air for Hyunjin to get to experience Felix with less of a filter. He was amazed with the sunshine-like realness that poured out of Felix
“It is. Hard work is a wonderful thing, don't you think? Plus it gives you an excuse to slack off.” Hyunjin tried to steer the conversation back on track. He was here to give Felix his much needed rest.
“I don’t know, I think I should at least start to copy down my essay for the final draft.” His next words came out in a grumpy mumble. “Stupid professor not allowing essays to be submitted online.”
“Well…” Hyunjin tapped his chin with his pointer finger acting like he was in deep thought. “As an expert in essays I say you need a break.”
“An expert?”
Hyunjin placed his hand on his upper chest. “I’m the best.”
Felix looked side to side on the floor. “What does break time entail?”
“Shall we meet in the bedroom and find out?” The comment seemed to be all Felix needed to get his energy back, for he sprung up standing taller. The sweet sunny smile Hyunjin remembered returned to Felix’s face. It made a smile spread across his own face as well. Hyunjin was happy to supply Felix with his new vibrancy.
“Sounds good to me.” Felix pulled Hyunjin inside, locking the door behind him. Hyunjin let out a giggle at his eagerness, halting when Felix kissed him. It was a simple peck at first, but they quickly melted into each other. Their lips locked on to each other hungrily wanting to taste more.
Hyunjin chalked it up to Felix being tired, as he was hardly ever the first to initiate physical intimacy. Once, Felix drunkenly asked Hyunjin to never kiss him. He was a mess that day and was pulled away by Minho. It probably made Hyunjin look worse in Minho’s eyes, but Minho never said anything to him. Hyunjin always assumed Felix never quite told his friends what they were doing behind closed doors and it only got confirmed by the surprise look on Minho’s face that day.
They seemed to be fine afterwards and Felix never brought up the incident. Hyunjin figured it was either because he wanted everyone to forget about it or he'd actually forgotten about it himself. Either way Hyunjin assumed if there was a problem Felix would come to him about it. When nothing came of it he chalked up the whole thing to Felix being wasted and saying random shit.
Needless to say, Hyunjin was starting to enjoy filterless Felix’s liveliness, reciprocating every action with his own matching fire. When Felix tightened his grip on Hyunjin’s shoulders, Hyunjin trailed his fingers down the other’s arm. The air had an intense, heavy heat. If flames were to spring from their passion neither one would notice. They were too busy trying to get their bodies as close as possible.
Lube from Hyunjin’s pocket
Hyunjin gets some for him stroking Felix off
Felix uses up the last of the pocket lube
Felix took off his shirt rapidly talking off Hyunjin’s after. Lips danced across each other as they achingly made their way to the bedroom. Pausing at the bed, Hyunjin took off Felix’s pants and underwear in a swift motion. Hyunjin placed his hands on the underside of Felix’s penis gripping it, the other hand kept a firm hold on Felix’s hip making sure he wasn’t going anywhere. He took out pocket size lube out of his pants and spread it across Felix’s dick. Leisurely he supplied probing pulls while monitoring Felix’s reactions. He was so caught up in trying to hear any little noises that escaped Felix’s lips that he didn’t notice Felix taking off his own pants. He only realized it when Felix had grabbed his dick sending a rushing spike through his body. Felix was eager today and Hyunjin was in no mood to slow him down.
Hyunjin heard the last of his pocket lube being used as Felix squirted it out. The cool liquid from the lube cascaded over his dick. Felix gave an experimental tug to Hyunjin’s dick causing the man to let out a gasp. Hyunjin rested his head on Felix’s shoulder attempting to recover. Felix didn’t give him very long before stroking the dick once again. Sparks played across Hyunjin’s eyes at the blaze of Felix’s actions. Hyunjin placed a simple kiss on Felix’s neck before returning his movement's full force. It seemed to slowly turn into a competition of who could jerk off the other the fastest.
Hyunjin slowed down for a short moment, enthralled with his own pleasure. However, it was long enough for Felix to give up on the idea of him keeping up with his pace for he took both of their dicks in his hands, repeating the tugging motion from before. The shocks of pleasure came in crashing waves for Hyunjin. He bit his hand to stifle his moans. He could hear the light snicker Felix made at his cover up.
Felix was so alluring Hyunjin was starting to find it hard to focus. Sex with Felix never resulted in something like this. It was a new rush that Hyunjin was having a hard time keeping up with. Lost in the motions of everything Hyunjin let a moan slip through without properly muffling it. Felix just kept moving faster and faster, no signs of stopping. Hyunjin felt the familiar bundle of nerves growing in his stomach. He was so close to release, just a few more tugs.
Right when Hyunjin was lost in the idea of coming off of just a handjob, the hands disappeared from his dick landing on his shoulders. Felix abruptly pushed him down onto the bed. He didn’t leave him alone for long taking out the condoms and lube from his bedside drawer tossing them on the bed. Hyunjin took the condom and lube, setting them aside for later. There was quite a bit of teasing he still wanted to do with Felix now that he was out of his lust state.
Hyunjin pulled him down to the bed, laying his head on the pillow as he laid beside him. Hyunjin rotated his neck to the side landing on Felix’s. He had an awful addiction to attaching himself to the neck during sex. It always sent a rush down below. Hyunjin moved to where Felix’s neck met his collarbone, running his tongue over that spot. He left open mouth kisses while sucking on the spot as his hand wandered close by. His palm lightly rested atop Felix’s Adam’s apple feeling it bob up and down when he swallowed. Hyunjin smirked at the realization Felix was just where he wanted him.
He licked his way up Felix’s neck and nibbled on his ear. He could hear Felix’s shaky breathing at the action. It was a drug Hyunjin wanted more of. He traced down the middle of Felix’s chest watching the action from Felix’s perspective, making sure he was being alluring as possible. He was going to make sure Felix’s mind never wandered to work during this break. His eyes would remain on Hyunjin the whole time.
Hyunjin continued moving his hand lower. When his hand trailed along Felix’s waist he gave an involuntary thrust. Hyunjin kept his hand moving around Felix’s dick, but never touching it. He wondered if he could get Felix off on this alone, with the way Felix’s breathing came out in puffs on his ear it didn’t seem too far fetched. Thrusts would come from Felix now and then, but only when Felix finally gave in letting out an aching whine did Hyunjin finally touch his dick.
He littered a few kisses on Felix's neck while giving out a couple of mindless tugs before moving away. He picked up the lube from earlier and saw Felix pout.
“Hey don’t be like that.” Then he held the lube up for Felix to see, he said. “Look what I had to get.” The thrill of arousal was evident on Felix’s face. He pulled Hyunjin into an electrifying makeout session. The charged power traveled straight to Hyunjin’s passion, giving it more energy.
Ever so slightly Felix was starting to move his legs. Hyunjin wondered if the man purposely spread his legs leaving his hole wide open for Hyunjin to put his finger inside. Purposely done or not it didn’t stop Hyunjin from spreading lube across the other’s entrance. He put a bit more on his fingers before setting the lube back down.
With one finger inside him Felix broke his lips from Hyunjin resting his head on the man’s shoulder. “Just like that and you’re already done?” He moved his finger little by little, slowly losing up Felix.
“No…” Felix mumbled out the word before continuing the rest of his thought. “I just think, I really needed this.”
Hyunjin smirked. “I told you. Everyone needs a break every once in a while.” Felix stayed quiet. Hyunjin wondered if there was something else he wanted to say, but decided to pull him away from whatever it was so he could focus on the now. “I’m about to give you what you need and more.” With that Hyunjin added another finger.
By the end of prepping Felix was a panting mess. “You ready?” Felix nodded in response. There was a haze in his eyes, but it was nothing Hyunjin hadn’t seen before.
Hyunjin ripped open the condom with his teeth, throwing the wrapper away while blowing off the piece stuck to his lip. He had kept eye contact with Feix throughout the whole thing. He didn’t want him to miss a single sultry action. He rolled the condom around his dick.
He checked Felix’s eyes one more time making sure this was what he wanted. Receiving a nod once again from him, Hyunjin continued. He lined himself up with Felix’s hole and pushed into him in one fluid motion. Felix sat on him holding him tightly. Hyunjin placed light kisses around his shoulder area attempting to ease the pain of it all.
After a while, Hyunjin noticed that instead of telling him that he was ready Felix had begun to move on his own. Hyunjin gave him an inquisitive look before laying down to let the man do his work. Felix placed both his legs on the sides of Hyunjin. At the start Felix more sat up to fall on Hyunjin’s dick before finding his rhythm. He practically glowed, finding the perfect spot to pound Hyunjin’s dick into. They both felt the rush from Felix’s blazing speed. Hyunjin wondered if his thighs would end up killing him tomorrow as he watched them start to wobble.
When the pace had started to slow down and Hyunjin thought the cries coming from Felix were more from frustration than pleasure he took a hold of the situation. He gripped Felix’s wobbling thighs lifting him up. In their new position Felix wrapped his legs around Hyunjin as he pounded into his ass. The air was filled with moans of pure pleasure from both of them.
Hyunjin tensed as he felt cool fingers on his back, he knew what was coming next. Felix always clawed his back to shreds. This time he decided to be proactive before the pain could worsen, and flipped Felix around. He could see the slight frown Felix made at the new position. I wasn’t what Felix preferred, but Hyunjin didn’t want to deal with patching himself up tonight. He would just have to be extra delectable for Felix to make it up to him.
After Felix let out a moan, curling his toes, Hyunjin knew he had found the spot he was looking for. He continued to abuse the area. Felix's moans got louder and higher as Hyunjin kept up his rapid speed. With the way Felix tilted his head up Hyunjin was sure it was from seeing stars. Hyunjin decided to give him an especially harsh thrust making Felix’s eyes roll back.
Ragged breaths escaped Hyunjin’s lips as he admired the scene he had created below him. The expanse of Felix’s back with the grip he held on the sheets he had below him. Hyunjin looked towards his own hands seeing how they gripped Felix’s waist. Noticing how white his fingers were from holding Felix in place he decided to readjust. He checked on Felix’s stomach feeling that it was wet. Pulling his hand away he inspected the liquid. Felix had definitely come.
“Shit, I’m not even close yet.” Hyunjin would have to try to be fast in order to not over stimulate the already tired man. Felix already crashed his head into the pillow below him. Hyunjin wondered if it would be better to rush in full force or ease into things once again. He decided that he was too close and didn’t want to let the opportunity slip him by.
With a long pull back that probably made Felix think was the man exiting him. Hyunjin gave a silent apology, as he rammed back into the man full force and hurriedly chased his high. Felix was much tighter, squeezing his hole around Hyunjin’s dick. Still, the pained whimpers and cries that came from the man below him were hard for Hyunjin to block out.
By the time Hyunjin had finally released Felix a pool of tears on his pillow. He was gentle after he took his dick out this time. He looked back at the red angry hole and felt immediate remorse. Felix was still and unmoving while Hyunjin tied off the condom.
“I’m sor–”
“It’s fine.” Felix spoke harshly before looking at Hyunjin and softening. “I’m really fine. I’ll go clean up.” Felix gestured towards his cum covered stomach. Before scanning his eyes up and down Hyunjin. “You should do the same.”
Then Felix left for the main bathroom while Hyunjin decided he would take the one connected to Felix’s room. It wasn’t normal, but with the messy living room Hyunjin couldn’t blame the man for not wanting him to be there unsupervised. Hyunjin cleaned up the condom wrapper and placed the lube back where Felix had gotten it from. Picking up the clothes he left from last time he was here, nicely washed by Felix. He gave one last big stretch before finally heading into the bathroom.
Hyunjin came out of the bathroom surprised to see Felix already back to work on his essay. He had only come here to be a short break for the man so he shrugged it off. He sat at the edge of the bed putting in earbuds as he tapped on a video from his subscription page. It was time for some mind numbing content. He didn’t want to distract Felix so, he kept to himself waiting for the man to be done.
Hyunjin let out an amused puff of air. He glanced at the pillows on the bed wondering if maybe he might stay over this time. Checking in on Felix he saw the man staring back at him. Felix quickly turned away when his eyes met Hyunjin’s.
Hyunjin looked around wondering if he had broken some unspoken rule. He briefly worried that Felix was silently mad at him for chasing his high earlier, but let the idea fade when he remembered the smile the man had given him afterwards. He looked back in the man’s direction just to see him trying to sneak more peaks of him. Felix was no longer working on his paper and instead more interested in him. It was clear while Hyunjin came here to be a brief distraction he was being more of a vexatious disturbance to Felix’s work.
Hyunjin let out a sigh as he took his earbuds out. It was really late and the apartment had a certain mellowness that made it hard for Hyunjin to stand up. He wanted to be lazy and fall on to the bed, but knew that wasn’t right. Felix clearly needed to finish this assignment and if Hyunjin was just getting in the way then he had to leave.
As he stood in Felix’s bedroom doorway he spoke. “I think I’m gonna head out.”
“Oh, really? You don’t have to.” He did have to. Hyunjin had some homework he could start working on as well if he couldn't sleep. It was probably better for both of them if he left now.
“I appreciate that, but I should go.” He then turned to face the other. “Message me when you finally finish all this, and maybe I’ll give you a reward.” He winked before he walked away to the apartment door. Hyunjin furrowed his brows at the strange pull he felt to stay. He lightly shook off the thought.
He had done his part. “I came here to support Felix. If I stay I’ll just be getting in the way. Besides, I gave him some extra motivation. I’m sure he’ll message me as soon as he is done.” With that thought Hyunjin could finally move the door knob.
The warmth from the apartment faded with each step Hyunjin took. It was hard not to look back, but he didn’t want to be selfish. This assignment was important to Felix and he had only shown up to help him. Now that his job was done it was time to move on.
Jisung sighed for the tenth time. Hyunjin and Changbin had both silently agreed not to ask about it, knowing the cause was probably something to do with Minho. Jisung had invited them to his penthouse apartment under the pretense of studying. Hyunjin had a big project coming up with Changbin so they were determined to use their time wisely. They hoped to get it finished by the end of today, but realistically they’d probably need to do another additional day of work.
They were in a good groove even with Jisung’s sighing as a slight hindrance. Hyunjin had faith in the end being just around the corner. As long as they didn’t ask Jisung, Hyunjin knew the project could get done, tonight. Hyunjin and Changbin were pulled from their thoughts from a knock on the door. They both shared a look of fear. Their perfect plan was crumbling right before their eyes as Jisung gleefully skipped towards the door.
“Hello Chan.”
Hyunjin had hoped Chan wouldn’t come over because he knew he’d want to help Jisung. Chan was like the moral compass or dad of their group and would often advise them on their problems. He also liked for everyone in the group to help think of solutions.
Changbin turned to Hyunjin. “I guess the project will have to wait.”
Hyunjin let out a sigh. “I thought he said he wasn’t coming.”
Chan was puzzled as he glanced around the room. “Why is Jisung the only one that seems happy to see me?” Jisung almost resembled a puppy as he waited for Chan by the door with a happy smile.
Hyunjin had given up. “Because he has a problem he wants to talk about, while we don’t.”
“Well every one’s problems are important especially if they are looking for help,” Chan reasoned as he took off his shoes. The boys on the floor knew Chan was right. They just preferred to be in their fantasyland where this would be the last day they had to work on the project.
Changbin sarcastically said, “Even if it’s about Minho?”
Jisung was taken back. “I never said it was about Minho!”
“Is it about Minho?” Hyunjin wasn’t convinced for a second.
Jisung was reluctant to speak, but knew there was no avoiding it. “Yes.”
“What happened this time?” Chan asked as he made his way towards the group.
“I don’t really know...” Jisung fumbled with his fingers. “I don’t really want a solution right now. I just want a distraction to cheer me up.” Everyone seemed to sigh with relief at that. Jisung was always the best at plans, so when he asked the groups for help their ideas were often not good enough. It was painful on both ends. The group was better at helping Jisung talk through things or cheering up his mood.
Chan placed his bag down and joined their work space. “Hyunjin, have you got any new drawings? That normally cheers him up a bit.”
“Yeah I think I have something.” Hyunjin dug through his bag. He opened up a folder revealing condoms. “Oops wrong folder one sec.” He rummaged around a bit more, finding the folder. “You’re lucky I got a head start on this assignment, it isn’t due for another month. Let me know what you think?”
Jisung delicately took the drawing as Chan glanced at it from behind him. “Woah this is really pretty.” There was an awe struck smile on Jisung’s face as he examined the artwork.
The drawing was a yellow pencil sketch of sidewalks making triangular grass patches. The outlines were defined with an almost brown dark yellow. The details of the tree were easy to see, the bumpy cracked bark was almost life-like. There was a giant sun in the sky. Light yellows seemed to flow down from it, scattering the warmth towards every inch of the drawing.
Chan nodded his head. “Yeah you did a really good job. I’m sure you’ll get a good grade when you turn it in.”
“Well, that drawing is just the first half of the first part of a much larger assignment.” Hyunjin didn’t feel like explaining the whole thing at the moment. He just wanted to help out Jisung’s dreary mood.
Changbin finally got a glimpse at the work and noticed something no one else had. “It’s our campus, right?”
Chan looked it over once again, but something was different about his expression. “What was the assignment?”
Hyunjin’s will at not explaining faltered. “It was to draw a scene of warmth using only one warm color. The other half is making a cool tone drawing with just one cool color. Then there’s a bunch of other color wheel stuff I have to make after that.” Hyunjin gave out his boring explanation as the other three continued staring at the artwork.
Jisung squinted his eyes. “Why yellow?”
“Why not?” Hyunjin joked before supplying his real answer. “It was the first color I picked up and I thought it might be challenging. Art gets boring when you just go the easy route.” Jisung nodded his head in agreement although the only drawing he ever did were doodles in class instead of paying attention.
“It was to draw warmth and you chose our campus.” Jisung pulled a disgusted face. Chan smiled at Jisung, no longer being weighed down by his problems.
“I’m not sure why, but it was the first place that came to mind.”
Changbin tilted his head at the image. “Is that where we first saw Felix?” Changbin had finally recognized where the strange sense of familiarity the artwork had on him was coming from.
Hyunjin briefly took the artwork to see for himself. “I guess it is.” He gave a simple shrug, handing the scene to Jisung to distract him once again.
Chan’s dad's senses were tingling. “So for a drawing about warmth you drew your first meeting with Felix?”
“Well that wasn’t where we first met, but it was when I knew he’d be in my life for a while. I mean that’s when I learned we go to the same school.” Hyunjin tapped his chin. “It was also quite warm that day so, maybe that's why.”
Jisung took his eyes off the work, the conversation in front of him was far more entertaining. “And you're still hooking up with him?”
“Yeah why?”
“You're just hooking up, nothing more?” Changbin raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah. Why are you guys being weird?” The group except for Hyunjin shared a certain look between themselves. They wondered if saying something would make it worse. Instead of coming to a conclusion they simply turned to Chan. It always came down to him, and Chan accepted defeat with a long sigh.
“Do you want to be something more?”
“More?”
“Then what you are now with Felix.”
Hyunjin frowned. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”
“And how long have you been hooking up?”
“About five months.”
“Well how many people are you currently hooking up with?”
“Right now…” Hyunjin was starting to get what his friends were trying to insinuate. He wasn’t sure if he liked where this was going. “I’m only hooking up with Felix.”
Chan had a sympathetic look as he continued to coax the answers out of Hyunjin. “And why is that?”
“People just haven’t been giving me the same… feeling as before.”
“But Felix does?”
“No, not really the same, it's different. I feel more… motivated, rather than distracted momentarily.” Hyunjin let out an awkward laugh attempting to clear the air. “This probably all sounds weird.”
Changbin was quick to step in. “It doesn’t sound weird, so much as it sounds…” he trailed off, unsure if he should outright tell his friend what seems to be going on from an outside perspective.
Jisung, speaking from experience, swiftly supplied the answer. “It kinda sounds like love. I know you all hate my relationship with Minho, but at the end of the day he motivates me to do better. When I think of him I feel warm.”
“That may be how it works for you, but what if that’s not the case for me?”
“Well, how do you know?” Chan came in with the killer of all killer questions. Hyunjin didn’t have an answer.
“I guess I don’t know, but that doesn’t mean you guys are right. I mean wouldn’t I know if I was in love? Especially if I was already sleeping with them.”
Changbin placed a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder. “If it’s not a no it could also be a yes.”
Hyunjin shrugged him off like he was made of fire. “Does everyone here think I like him?” No one said anything. The room fell quiet and that gave Hyunjin the answer he was looking for. “Well I’ll prove it to you guys.”
“Oh and how is that?” Changbin smirked, challenging Hyunjin. It was possibly his revenge for the man shrugging him off.
“I’ll…”
Chan decided to save the man. “Listen, we don't want to pressure you or speak for you. It just seems to be looking a certain way that we aren’t sure you’ve properly considered.”
Changbin chimed in. “Yeah that’s all this is. We just know you and are looking at the situation with different eyes.”
Hyunjin crossed his arms, relenting a little. “You might be right.”
“We want you to be happy, and knowing if you like Felix or not will definitely help with that.” Chan placed a comforting hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder.
Hyunjin didn’t shrug his hand off like he had with Changbin feeling much more at ease now. “I’m not sure what to do. I don’t even know how to come up with a lovey-dovey plan for this.”
“Listen if we need a romantic plan I’m your guy.” Hyunjin couldn’t argue with that. Even with all of the couple’s fighting Jisung plans never seemed to fail in getting Minho back.
“Fine! Plan away.” Hyunjin threw his hands up in defeat. He completely surrendered himself to Jisung’s plan. He trusted his friends. In all honesty he was also curious what he might learn about himself along the way.
Hyunjin pulled out the drawing that had turned into something bigger than he could have ever predicted. He had always tried to not put too much thought in his drawings before he started working on them. He found that it usually produced better art, but now it was affecting his life outside of just getting good grades.
Changbin leaned on him looking at the picture. “You haven’t turned that in yet?” It was really Changbin’s fault that it had twisted into something much greater. He's the one that connected it to Felix in the first place. Originally it was just an assignment for class.
“No, I was gonna turn it in soon.” Hyunjin gave a simple shrug, putting it back in its folder, next to a blue pencil sketch of an ice cube. It had been a week of waiting. The wait was due to Hyunjin being scared of the rest of the world seeing what his friends saw in his drawing.
“Did you take so long because you wanted to show it to Felix?”
“No. I’m still waiting for Jisung to tell me his master plan.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “What would even be the point? I know you all think I’m gaga for him, but as someone who slept with him last night, I’m not sure. I can confidently say I love sex with him.”
“Right, but you do think of him outside of sex. The picture is proof of that.”
“The drawing is just an assignment.”
Changbin let out a sigh. “We all know you aren’t best at recognizing when you are in love. You normally figure it out a little too late and the person already has moved on.”
“That’s different.”
“Maybe, but maybe not.” Changbin placed a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder. “It won’t hurt to try, right?”
“Yeah I just don’t want to lose a good sex relationship.”
“Jisung said he’s accounting for that,” Changbin reminded him.
“Do you really think I like him? Am I just so dense that I can’t see it when it’s right in front of me?”
“I think the drawing is more than just paper. I think you have a bad history with love. Which makes it all a possibility that Felix means more than you think.” Changbin looked at the uncertain Hyunjin. “It doesn’t have to be romantic love, but I think some type of love is happening.”
Hyunjin seemed to relax at the statement. “I promise I’ll give my all to Jisung’s plan.”
“I know you will.”
Hyunjin squinted his eyes, taking in the light from the room. As he started to shuffle around on the bed he heard footsteps pattering away from him. He stretched his head trying to remember where he was. That’s when his eyes abruptly shot open.
He was in Felix’s room. He chickened out of going through with Jisung’s plan last night. He made the decision to have one last hurrah with Felix in case everything blew up afterwards. It was probably silly, but Hyunjin wasn’t ready to lose Felix yet. However, the time had come where he could no longer avoid going through with the plan.
As Hyunjin sat up in bed Felix spoke from across the room. “You slept over here for the first time.”
Hyunjin’s morning voice cracked as he spoke. “Did I?” He never noticed until Felix brought it up. He tried recalling a time where he had to see if he could prove Felix wrong, but gave up due to having just woken up. He trusted Felix regardless.
Hyunjin peered at Felix fumbling around with his bag as Felix coldly spoke. “Was there anything you needed?” Hyunjin’s eyes widened. He was starting to feel intimidated by the back of Felix. He wished he could read the expression on Felix’s face to see if it was just the morning making him seem cold or if it was somehow his own fault.
Hyunjin swallowed down his rising fear. “Yeah, I had a question.” He fumbled with his fingers as he kept his voice stable. “I kinda need a date for my mom’s charity fundraiser, and I was wondering if you’d wanna go?”
“Are you asking me to be your date?”
Hyunjin was set into full panic at the question, his brain quickly went on the defense. “Uh yeah just ‘cause you also come from old money. My friends just don’t get this kind of thing.” He wasn’t sure why the lie came to him so quickly. It was also a pretty bad lie as most of his friends were pretty well-off for college students. Not to mention he was friends with Jisung who constantly showed off his wealth. Still, technically they weren’t from old money, they were more from new money if anything. He wanted to hide himself away. “I’m so lame.” He thought as he pulled the covers over his face.
“Oh.” Felix paused. “You’re asking me to be your fake date?”
This wasn’t part of Jisung’s plan, but Hyunjin couldn’t help himself. “Yeah.” He gave the simple reply while still being under the covers. He hoped Jisung wouldn’t be too mad. Hyunjin lifted his head from the covers hoping to see some sort of sign from the other. He couldn't tell anything with Felix’s back turned so he asked. “Is there a problem with that?”
“No, not at all,” Felix gave a monotone reply. Hyunjin watched as Felix picked up some papers off of his desk, staring it down. Hyunjin felt like he had missed something. He was just uncertain what it was. He hoped Felix didn’t think he was asking too much of him, inviting him to the event. He didn’t want to put Felix out or ruin their relationship. Jisung had promised him everything would be fine in the end.
Maybe he had made the wrong step. Wrong step or not Hyunjin had taken it and he knew there was no going back. He decided to just continue moving forward. He messaged his friends how he had sort of asked Felix out. He hoped his friends would be supportive of his effort.
“I’m sorry!” Hyunjin gave a bow in his all black tux. His outfit was all black from the undershirt to the shoes. The only color stemmed from gold accents like his necklace and small rectangular belt buckle. The look fit him overwhelmingly well.
“Oh come on. None of that.” Jisung brushed off the action with a shake of his hand. “I told you before that it’s fine if Felix thinks it’s a fake date. This plan is for you to figure out how you feel. So you just have to treat it like it’s real.” Hyunjin pouted. “Plus I think it will help you to go back to being…” Jisung paused, trying to find the right words. “What you two were before.”
Hyunjin smiled at Jisung’s effort. “Still, I am sorry.” He took off his shoes so he could enter Jisung’s living space.
Jisung placed his hands on Hyunjin’s back and pushed him deeper into his penthouse apartment. “That’s fine you can be sorry. Just know that it’s not an issue though.” Hyunjin nodded in acceptance. Jisung clapped his hands together at the resolution. “Now, let's get you into some makeup for today.”
Hyunjin sat in a chair from Jisung’s dining room placed in the bathroom. Even with all the money Jisung had he still hadn’t bought everything. The duo was mostly silent as Jisung applied his makeup. He was giving Hyunjin a once over look when a text popped up on his phone.
He read the text then spoke. “It looks like Minho will be here in fifteen minutes to pick us up for the charity event.”
“You’re going to the event with Minho?”
“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?” Jisung eyebrows raised with confusion. Hyunjin briefly wondered if it was because he thought Minho was mad at him again.
“I told Felix that I couldn’t find anyone else to go with.”
Jisung shrugged it off. “Just tell him that you needed a date to the event because of your mom if he asks.”
“But–”
Jisung cut Hyunjin off by spraying setting spray for his makeup on him. “Say it’s because your mom cares about appearances in front of investors or something.”
“I guess that works.”
“Yes, now be quiet as I do your hair”
A moment passed by before Hyunjin realized the problem with Jisung’s sentence. “You can still do that while I talk.”
“I can, but I don’t want to.”
Hyunjin faked a sad pout.
“Oh hush, it’s just easier for me, nothing to do with your talking.”
Hyunjin smiled back at Jisung, letting him continue his work.
After Jisung was done, they made their way outside to wait for Minho. The temperature was the same as Jisung’s apartment so it didn’t make much of a difference to the duo. The sidewalk was made out of red brick with squares cut out for trees. The inviting atmosphere made it seem like talking about anything was possible.
“Do you really like Minho?” It wasn’t a question Hyunjin had ever dared to ask before, but something about the moment they were in made it feel right.
Jisung didn’t hesitate for a moment. “Yes. I’m not sure how to explain it, but when a fight is serious we don’t run away from each other. We make sure to work it out then and there.” Jisung scratches the back of his neck. “I guess, we just like the cat and mouse game of chase. We try not to evolve unwilling participants, but sometimes it happens. I’m sure one day we’ll grow out of it or it will seem all too boring, but for now, having time away from each other, just makes the time together all the more thrilling.”
“Do you ever get scared of Minho?”
”Not at all. I think Minho likes being able to show all his feelings and get his emotional outbursts out there rather than hold on to them. He gets to be himself and I love coming up with plans to woo him.” Pure love and adoration shone through Jisung’s eyes.“I get to show him how much I love him every time.”
”What do you love about him?” Hyunjin realized the boldness of the question and added. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I love him. Who he is as a person, but if you want me to get more descriptive…” Jisung trailed off to think, but it wasn’t long before he continued. “I love it when he smiles so big that his top lip creates a dip in the middle. When he gets mad on my behalf because a restaurant got my order wrong. I love the way he makes me strive for more, for better things, if not for myself then for him. I want the very best for him.”
Hyunjin could sympathize with wanting better things. This whole plan seemed selfish that he was trying to figure out his own feelings when Felix didn’t deserve to be an experiment.
"Is this whole thing kind of stupid?" As soon as Hyunjin said the words out loud, like a confessional, he wanted to take them back. Jisung wasn't his priest, and wouldn't be able to ease his guilty conscience.
“The plan?” Jisung tilted his head.
Hyunjin nodded. “Yeah, and me not knowing how I feel.”
Jisung let out a tiny sigh. “Feelings are complicated and weird. It can be hard to figure them out. At the end of the day the plan is basically just trying to get you to test run dating Felix. If you start to feel like going out with Felix is something you want to keep doing, then you have your answer.”
“I guess it just feels kind of wrong.”
Jisung tapped his chin. “Do you wanna back out?”
“No, I think… I can’t keep wondering and being lost with how I feel about him.”
“Felix agreed to everything. He doesn’t think it’s a real date and neither do you. You are both on the same page. It might feel a little bit wrong because you are going in with intentions he doesn’t know about, but isn’t that how approaching people you’re into normally starts?”
“When you first meet someone, you don’t really know anything about each other.” Hyunjin knew how Felix normally operated. He was pretty sure Felix knew quite a bit about him as well
“Right, but lots of people end up asking someone out after being friends.”
“You’re right…” Hyunjin trailed off, still not fully convinced.
Jisung smirked. “Did you know when Minho first asked me out we had been friends for around three months?”
“I didn’t.”
Hyunjin listened with open ears as Jisung spoke. “I was a bit surprised at first, but he explained that one day when he looked at me it felt different. He started to get scared to lose me, when he felt that, he knew he had to hold on. He had to try to make a move, because it would be more painful to watch me find someone worth more than he currently was to me.”
“You weren’t mad?” Hyunjin said the words so softly that Jisung almost didn’t catch them at first.
“No, not at all. Even if I didn’t want to progress the relationship I was happy for the honesty. He was also prepared for me to reject him and I knew that he couldn’t control his feelings.” Jisung placed a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder, comforting him. “Felix is a great guy so he will understand where you’re coming from. If you want romance and he says no, he’s the type of guy to keep being friends.”
Hyunjin hoped that was true. Still he wasn’t entirely certain what was currently on Felix’s mind.
Minho’s car pulled up in front of them. Jisung greeted his boyfriend by kissing him through the open window, then got into the passenger seat next to him. Hyunjin slid into the back seat. He was alone with his thoughts as the couple in front of him bantered back and forth.
“Am I a fool?”
Hyunjin tapped his foot impatiently. He was starting to get nervous because Felix was running late. It wasn’t the kind of fashionably late that Hyunjin was used to from most people. It was thirty minutes past the designated time. Hyunjin didn’t want Felix to enter the event alone so he had been standing outside the palace-like venue for just over forty-five minutes.
He hit the top of his legs to stop them from numbing. “What if he doesn’t show up?” The thought made Hyunjin’s blood run cold. There were a million reasons why Felix could end up not showing up, but there were only a few reasons why he wouldn’t tell Hyunjin. There was the possibility Felix figured out the plan and was disgusted by him, or he simply thought Hyunjin wasn’t worth the effort. Hyunjin wondered if he should just reach out to the man himself, with a call from his phone, but shook off the idea out of the fear of making everything worse.
“Maybe he just hates me.” Hyunjin sighed. If that was the case he was sure Felix would have a good reason. Felix had seen more of him than most people. It would be no surprise if the man resented Hyunjin for his true self. Deep down, he trusted that Felix would be better than just ghosting him out of nowhere. He decided he would give the man another thirty minutes before he went inside.
Felix got out of a black car dressed in a black silk shirt with gold buttons as accents in the two columns down the middle. He wore a gold necklace, belt buckle, and pointer finger ring matching the same shade. The rest of his tailor-made outfit was all black. Felix leisurely walked up to the venue sending a mindless greeting Hyunjin’s way. A look of disbelief played across Hyunjin’s face at the action. If Felix was going to be an hour late, the minimum he could do was to act like he was sorry.
“So, you finally decided to show up.” The rude remark slipped through Hyunjin's lips. If that wasn’t enough to tip off Felix, the irremovable scowl that had grown on Hyunjin’s face after waiting an hour for the man certainly did.
Felix took a step back from him. “I thought we agreed on seven?”
Hyunjin narrowed his eyes. “Yes, we did.” Felix stared blankly at the man. “It’s eight.”
“No, that can’t be right.” Felix glanced at his phone showing the time as seven o'clock exactly. Hyunjin pulled out his own phone to see if he was in the wrong, yet Hyunjin’s phone displayed the time as eight o’clock. “Oh shit.” Felix let out a frustrated sigh. ”I know what happened. Minho probably changed the time on my phone.”
“Why would Minho…” Hyunjin mentally gasped at the realization. “Is Minho testing me?” If it was a test he was sure he had passed by waiting for Felix. A devilish smirk slid onto Hyunjin’s face. “If Minho can have his fun maybe so can I.”
Felix was rambling out an apology as Hyunjin cut through it. “You’ll just have to make it up by being the best fake date you can tonight.”
Felix’s face fell. “I‘ll try.” There was a certain sadness to Felix's tone that Hyunjin couldn’t quite place. It made Hyunjin want to take back what he said. He’d meant it as a joke, but it seemed that Felix had taken it to heart. The tension in the air had turned into a gloomy smelling mess. Hyunjin pulled them both away from the stench as he dragged Felix into the venue.
When Hyunjin opened the doors he saw the usual sights of his mother’s charity event. Circular white-clothed tables and chairs formed a U shape, the tables clumped together at the entrance, then tapered off towards the stage on the opposite side. The vast open space in the middle was reserved for dancing. There were guests scattered around the tables chatting amongst themselves. Most of them were dressed in various style suits, trying to show off their wealth without looking like they were trying.
The other vast open space was above their heads as the place had thirty-foot tall ceilings. With the addition of ten-foot tall chandeliers adorned with crystal beads and candle lights that couldn’t be real. The walls were like little tiny golden frames with their detailing. Hyunjin had to admit his mom did pick out a pretty nice venue this time around.
Felix gawked at the space. “Wow.”
“Nothing too out of the usual.” Hyunjin had to admit it was nice to have someone around that was still impressed by this sort of thing. His mom tended to host an event like this every six months or so, causing him to view the events as more mundane rather than the remarkable display it truly was.
“Still…” Felix trailed off as he looked for something that could prove it was an impressive setting they were in. “I’m pretty sure the table bouquets are half my height.”
“I can’t argue with you there.” Hyunjin wondered how Felix, coming from a wealthy family himself, was still in awe at the sight before them. “Does your mom not normally host events like this?”
“No, she puts most of her time into her job.”
Hyunjin frowned.
“Oh, don’t worry. She still had plenty of time for me. She has a good work life balance. She just tends to stay away from this type of thing. I guess that's a better way to word it.”
Hyunjin noticed Felix often did this when conversing with him. Words practically spilled out of his mouth, yet it still felt like Felix was holding back or covering up something. The two seemed paradoxical, but Felix had a way of making it happen over and over again. It made Hyunjin feel strangely detached from the man right next to him.
“You’re fine, no need to explain it all to me.” Hyunjin attempted to comfort him with a warm smile.
“I guess I’m just nervous.”
“About what?”
Felix looked into Hyunjin’s eyes in a flash of fear before he regained his composure. “I think I might be a little underdressed.”
“Underdressed or not, you still look dazzling. Plus, there are plenty of people here who look like they haven’t even brushed their hair.”
“Yeah, but next to you...” Felix’s eyes grew wide in shock. He moved his fingers to cover his mouth, clearly not intending for those words to slip through it.
“Oh.” Hyunjin was almost speechless. He hadn’t really noticed Felix’s action, too worried if the man noticed the heat flushing to his cheeks. “Thank you.”
They were both saved from the moment as a guest stepped between them. The guest instantly placed a firm hand on Hyunjin's shoulder. Hyunjin glanced up to see one of his mom’s prize donors. Hyunjin made the awful mistake of sleeping with him without knowing who he was. His donations were too good for his mom to lose, but the sex was too bad for Hyunjin to ever look at the man with lust again. Ever since then the guy was always overly touchy with Hyunjin, trying to get him alone to catch up. It made Hyunjin want to squirm away; after all, he barely even knew the guy. He had only ever had surface level conversations with the man and yet the man was persistent in finding him at everyone of his mom’s charity events.
“Hey.” Hyunjin tried to fake a comfortable smile, but it was getting harder and harder with the man’s hand trailing down his back. The sound of someone clearing their throat made both of them halt. It came from none other than Felix himself.
Felix gave a worried glance towards Hyunjin, before replacing it with a vexed expression directed at the interrupting man. “I’m sorry, but may I ask what you’re doing with my date?”
Hyunjin blinked a few times before committing himself to the act. “Ah yes, my boyfriend. Let me introduce the two of you.”
The man pulled back from Hyunjin, a bit flabbergasted at the situation in front of him. As soon as he was off of Hyunjin, Felix quickly took his spot, hand placement and all. He quickly glanced towards Hyunjin to make sure the action was okay. He was met with a grateful smile dancing across Hyunjin’s lips.
The man regained his composure. “I’m sorry I didn’t know Hyunjin was seeing someone.” There was a moment of silence between the three of them.
Felix gave him an unamused stare. “Well, now you do.” Hyunjin covered his own mouth to stop from laughing at the comment.
The man blinked while he processed everything. “Yes, I do.” He looked off in a direction away from the group. “Well, I’ll be off then.”
As soon as they thought the man was out of ear shot they burst into giggles. They attracted some looks from the other guests, but Hyunjin didn’t care. Not when Felix was beside him. Not when this was the most fun he was having at one of his mother’s events in a long time. Not when he wished to stay in this moment for a little bit longer.
Felix’s eyes shot open. “Is that…” Hyunjin followed his gaze, spotting Jisung and Minho across the room behind a collection of tables. Jisung made eye contact with Hyunjin, his eyes and mouth opened wide enough for Hyunjin to see from across the room. Jisung was clearly pretending to drop something as he hid from Felix’s view behind the clothed tables. Minho soon went down as well after a hand that could only belong to Jisung pulled him down. “What the…” Felix was squinting at what had just happened. Hyunjin gave a unasuring shrug as he racked his brain for an answer.
Another person had come to save a situation between him and Felix, this time in the form of Hyunjin’s mom. “Hyunjin sweetie, I need you to lead the dance in five minutes.”
“Of course.” At Hyunjin’s answer his mother pulled away to greet a nearby guest. The two boys watched as his mom chatted up the guest, praising them for their generous donation. Hyunjin wondered if he’d ever become like that, hosting event after event in the name of charity. “It doesn’t seem impossible but…”
Felix turned towards Hyunjin. “Does that mean I’ll have to dance?” Hyunjin recounted the previous conversation as he thought of a reply.
“You don’t have to. I’m used to doing it by myself,” Hyunjin sheepishly confessed as he scratched the back of his neck. “Although it would be nice. It can get awkward to dance alone if no one joins.”
“You normally dance alone?”
“Yeah, just to get people started.” Hyunjin wanted to lessen the pressure on Felix with his next statement. “Sometimes someone from the audience will take pity on me and become my partner.”
Felix hastily spoke. “I’ll do it.”
Hyunjin wasn’t sure why Felix had suddenly come to a decision, but was grateful to not be left alone on the dance floor. Whether or not someone would come to save him he much preferred to have Felix there at the start.
Felix scanned the venue, taking in every detail he could. Hyunjin spotted the way the light caught on Felix’s eyes, making them shimmer. Today was meant to be a test to figure out his feelings for Felix. “I like hanging out with him, but is that love? Is love just wanting to see a person more? If that’s the case then maybe I’ve been in love with Changbin this whole time?” Hyunjin let out a deep sigh glancing around the room. “If you’re supposed to know when you’re in love with someone then maybe I just don’t love him.”
Hyunjin spotted his mother across the room letting him know it was time to start.
He turned towards Felix. “You ready?”
Felix had determination in his eyes as he spoke. “As ready as ever.”
The duo made their way to the center of the dance area. “Please clear the floor unless you are my son and his date.” His mother’s voice rang in his ears. There was a type of feeling Hyunjin got when his mother had called Felix his date. He tilted his head in thought trying to figure out what it was.
“Pride? No. Loneliness? That doesn’t seem to fit either.” He couldn’t think about it for long as Felix cleared his throat. Just a few glances around and Hyunjin could tell everyone had vanished from the floor and instead was waiting on the outskirts for them to start. Hyunjin gave an apologetic smile to Felix and then to his mom. She playfully shook her head at the action and started the music.
The music that played was a classic waltz song that almost every young gentleman is forced to learn forwards and backwards. It was of no issue to the two men to find their positions. It didn’t stop Hyunjin’s slight surprise when Felix took the lead by placing his hand on Hyunjin’s waist. He should have expected it as it was probably a default move from Felix. Hyunjin placed his hand on Felix’s upper bicep, ready to follow Felix’s lead.
Their other hands intertwined outwards pointing towards the direction of their movements. Felix guided them along the dance floor in a circular motion. Hyunjin gazed into Felix’s eyes, knowing they were on the same page. Felix lifted his outward hand above Hyunjin’s head. Keeping their hands together Hyunjin followed suit and then spun around. He almost started laughing out loud. He had forgotten how fun spinning while dancing could be. He looked towards Felix, seeing the same pure bliss. Hyunjin felt like this moment was made for the two of them. There was no other way to explain how connected he felt to Felix, how right he seemed in Felix’s arms.
Hyunjin felt like thousands of butterflies were passing around the two of them as they twirled and circled the dance floor. It was like their wings had created winds flowing around them. The chaos of the butterflies’ outside movements couldn’t touch them, not while they were in their own world. He was sure if he looked around at the fluttering butterflies it would be a once in a lifetime sight, but he already had an extraordinary sight in front of him. He admired Felix’s summery smile, and the way it heated up his insides. To stay like this would be a dream for them both.
Moments don’t last forever. When a passerby’s dress brushed Hyunjin’s leg he was brought back to the charity event. His head tilted upwards trying to see if he could spot at least one butterfly flying away, but there were none. They had all vanished, not a trace left behind. Felix lifted his hand once again.
With a spin Hyunjin spotted his mom for a brief second. “If I end up like her, could I be happy?” Then his eyes caught on Jisung’s. “If I had…” The spinning stopped, leaving only Felix. “That’s it.”
“It doesn’t matter. If I’m with him I don’t care where else I go.” Hyunjin made a small slip at the thought. He closed his eyes preparing to hit the cold hard ground, but there was a gentle caress catching him. When he opened his eyes, he was met with Felix, smiling down at him. “Fuck.” He gripped Felix a little tighter as he brought him up half way. “I can’t let him slip me by.”
They both were a little bit out of breath as the dance finished. The other people who joined in now watched as Hyunjin started to lean in. He felt Felix tense, but he had to make his feelings clear to everyone.
“You matter too much to me to let this moment slip by.” Hyunjin kissed Felix in front of everyone. Immediately Felix made a muffled sound of struggle as he attempted to break free. It all melted just as fast, both men turning their heads to deepen the kiss. Felix looked like he was still in a bit of a daze as Hyunjin brought him back up to standing from the dip.
When the next song played the crowd moved on dancing to the new rhythm. They both could do nothing but stare at each other. Felix seemed to shake free from his daze as his eyes grew large. He pushed Hyunjin away as he elegantly weaved through the crowd. Hyunjin caught a glimpse of his head popping up here and there through the masses. Hyunjin figured out Felix’s direction was going towards the restrooms and dashed against the crowd after him.
Hyunjin looked around trying to figure out what he missed, after spotting nothing he ran after Felix.
He caught up to him in the area just outside the restrooms. The noise of the party was sharply muffled, even with the open archway still connecting them to the ballroom. Felix was turned away from him. He wondered if Felix would break off running again. He let Felix decide.
There was a venom in Felix’s voice as he spoke. “You can’t just do that.” Felix finally turned to face him. The only thing Hyunjin could focus on were the tears in Felix’s eyes. As soon as a tear fell from his eye, the fight instantaneously left Hyunjin’s body.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”
Felix frustratingly yelled over his tears, “No, you never mean to!” He sighed in exasperation. “God, why do I get my hopes up everytime.”
“Felix, I–”
“I don’t care about what you want or what you think.” He blinked back his tears. “It’s just too much for me. I can't keep doing this to myself.”
“What do you mean?” Hyunjin was getting more and more lost.
“It hurts too much, Hyunjin. Getting my hopes up.” Felix paused to steady his breathing from all the yelling and crying. He soon became stoic. “I don’t think we should talk anymore.”
“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing Hyunjin could think of to say.
Felix snapped. “For what?”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.” Hyunjin spoke quieter. “Not in front of everyone.”
“Is that it?” It was a snarky reply. Felix crossed his arms. “I’ve wasted so much time and energy on you. There’s so much I gave, that I’ll never get back.”
“What are you talking about?”
There was a hesitancy from Felix.
“Tell me clearly.”
“I’ve been in love with you from day one.”
Hyunjin felt his blood go cold.
“Everytime I try to get out you pull me back in. I know you don’t mean to, but this time could you just let me go?”
Hyunjin moved to hug the man, but halted after taking one step. He had hurt Felix. He had hurt him so bad that he had tear-stained cheeks as he hugged himself from the pain. “Maybe it would be better to let him go.”
Hyunjin took a deep breath. “I’ll let you go if that is what you want, but let me explain why I kissed you. After I’m done, if you still want to go, I won’t…” It pained Hyunjin’s heart to say the next part. “I won’t stop you.”
“I kissed you because dancing with you made me realize I want to dance with you forever. I just never realized it, because we’ve only been alone when we spend time together, but in front of everyone else I want to be by your side. Dancing is what made me realize it, but I’ve probably felt this way for a long time. Longer than I’ll ever know.
“Tonight you saved me, not just when that guy came over, but also from my own thoughts. I’ve been wondering about my future a lot, but when I look at you the thoughts fade. I feel like with you I don’t need to worry.” Hyunjin looked down, unable to meet Felix’s eyes. “It pains me that I hurt you so much.”
Hyunjin waited for any movement from Felix, but the man stayed still. “Could you give me one more chance? Because this time I want to date you for real.”
“And just like that–”
Hyunjin waited with bated breath.
“I’m pulled back in again.” Felix smirked, grabbing Hyunjin’s tie pulling him into a kiss. A real kiss. Not one for confessing or one for foreplay, it was a kiss to express his love. It was acceptance allowing Hyunjin to be a part of his life, always.
The pure happiness Hyunjin felt came out in a laugh. “That was a lot, but thank you for believing in me.” Hyunjin fumbled with the buttons on his sleeve. “I’m sorry.”
“No, there’s no need to apologize. It probably wouldn’t have gotten this bad if I just had the courage to speak up sooner, luckily you did.”
“Still, I should have done it better.” Hyunjin wished he could apologize a hundred times for his actions, but he knew Felix wouldn’t let him.
“True, but I’m glad it happened nonetheless.” Felix glanced downwards. “I’m also sorry for not doing something myself. I should have–”
“Let’s stop worrying about the should haves and could haves. Let’s just enjoy this moment.” Felix smiled up at him. There was no need to worry about how they got together. The important thing was, they were together.
Although it had just been a month since they officially became a couple, Felix’s room quickly morphed into their room. Little traces of Hyunjin were spread across the place, from his makeup on the desk to his works in progress on the floor. A special yellow pencil drawing of their college campus hung above their bed.
Hyunjin stretched as he finally woke up. Felix had gone particularly hard on him last night and he was definitely feeling it now. He had big plans for today. It was a month since the two had officially gotten together, and he hoped that Felix would enjoy his surprise. He turned to watch the other laying in bed next to him and it was a sight to behold.
If he wanted to, Hyunjin could probably take the time to count out all of Felix’s eyelashes. His eyes moved towards Felix’s cheeks. “Perhaps counting his freckles would be better.” The room’s quietness allowed Hyunjin to hear Felix taking in a breath as his chest rose and exhaling as his chest fell. “One, two, three…”
He had gotten to forty before Felix’s nose scrunched up. Hyunjin could only assume he would soon be waking up. His assumption was confirmed when Felix peered at him through hooded eyes before closing them once again.
Hyunjin let out a laugh at the sight. “You know I saw you.” Felix shook his head in response and then scooted closer to the other.
“I just want to stay in bed and hold you.” Felix placed his arms around Hyunjin's body hugging him tightly. “You know, I always hated how cold the bed was when I woke up and you were gone.”
Hyunjin patted Felix’s head. “I’m sorry for that, but I couldn’t get comfortable in your bed.”
“Why is that?” Felix pulled back to look at the other.
“Can I be honest?”
“Always.”
“You used to claw and leave marks on my back, so I never felt comfortable sleeping unless I was holding a pillow. Your bed doesn’t have that many pillows.” Felix's face showed immediate concern as he got off of Hyunjin and pushed him to look at his back. Felix checked out Hyunjin’s back, seeing all the marks. Some were faded however after last night there were quite a few untreated marks.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Honestly, I didn’t mind plus with others I sometimes went that hard. Why would I dish it out if I couldn’t take it?”
Felix rushed to the bathroom getting ointment for a cabinet.He gave a light kiss where his fingernails had drawn blood on Hyunjin’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t have done that if I knew your back looked like this.” Felix started to apply ointment in order of how bad the marks were. When he only had a few left Hyunjin turned around.
Hyunjin held Felix’s hands. “It really doesn’t bother me especially now that I get to cuddle you through the night.”
“Are you sure?” Felix couldn’t believe that he had been unintentionally hurting his lover. Felix glanced at the drawer next to his bed side. He remembered a gift he had bought long ago. “You know what, I have a gift to make it up to you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, but close your eyes first.” Hyunjin could hear the sounds of Felix rummaging around in the drawer. “Listen, this is also our one month anniversary gift. I was going to give it to you later, but I think now is a good time.” Hyunjin felt a tiny felt box placed in his hand. A small ounce of dread seeped in. Felix smiled as he spoke. “Okay you can open your eyes.”
Hyunjin glanced down at the box and his fears were confirmed. “Oh wow,” he said flatly as he opened the box. Inside was a mostly gray with white marble detailing ring. A smile crept up on Hyunjin’s lips.
“I also have a matching one for myself. I hope you don’t mind.” Felix could see there was something Hyunjin was holding back from. “I know it might be kind of lame, but I bought them a while ago when I was first planning on confessing to you.” Felix then uncertainly asked, “Do you like it?”
Hyunjin erased his bad energy, pushing it aside to answer Felix. “I love it.” Hyunjin glanced at the drawer on his bedside. “In fact I think this is a sign we were meant to be. Because…” Hyunjin pulled out a tiny box similar to the one Felix had given him. “Well, you should open your gift now as well.”
“What?” Felix gave a confused smile, but opened the box. His mouth dropped as he saw the contents. Inside was a white ring with a gray marble pattern. It was a perfect match for his gift.
“I thought white really represented you. I also got a second pair to match as well.”
Felix bloomed with warmth. “I guess we really do go well together.”
They placed the rings on each other's fingers. As Hyunjin stared into Felix’s eyes, it felt good to know they were on the exact same page of things. Felix pulled Hyunjin down for a kiss. As their lips brushed against each other Hyunjin closed his eyes, feeling the flaps of butterflies swirling around them.
A/N: You made it to the end congratulations! Thank you so much for reading, make sure to stay hydrated and rest well. I'll see you next time!! <3 <3
Pairing: Felix / Hyunjin (Minor or Background, Han Jisung | Han / Lee Minho | Lee Know)
Tags: Smut/18+, College/University AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Non-Linear Narrative, First Meetings, Old Money
Other Sites to Read on: Ao3 or Wattpad
Words: 6,221
Part: (1/2)
Felix stared up at his ceiling. This wasn’t what he had planned. When he first met Hyunjin he thought they’d end up in a nice, happy, normal relationship, that he and Hyunjin were destined to become an envied couple by all. Instead they became friends with benefits. Felix knew he was one of many. He briefly wondered if there was ever a side to Hyunjin that only he had seen. Just one part that was his, and his alone.
He sighed as he went to collect his clothes from last night, not bothering to check if Hyunjin was still in the bed. It was always cold and empty when he woke up. Placing his clothes in his dirty hamper, he moved into his bathroom to take a shower. He paused in front of the mirror and wondered if he was really deserving of Hyunjin. Even if he didn't get everything he wanted, he knew others were envious to be in his place. Yet he wasn’t satisfied, when he should’ve been grateful for what little of Hyunjin he got.
What was worse than Felix being utterly entrapped by Hyunjin, was that the man often treated him like he was nothing. Always leaving before Felix woke up. In front of everyone he’d pretend not to know Felix. When it was just them two, sex sometimes felt like a transaction. Yet when Felix would discover something new about Hyunjin it all seemed worth it. Every time he saw a new side he fell deeper.
One time when Hyunjin told him to grab a condom from his bag Felix accidently opened the wrong folder, finding a drawing inside. It was colored with only yellow pencils; the tree felt life-like even though it was made from only a dark yellow color. He hovered his pointer finger above the paper as he traced the outlines of the tree. The tree reminded him of the ones on campus. He was certain he had visited this place before, but Hyunjin’s drawing made it magical. He wanted to be transported there. However, Hyunjin had beckoned him to bed so Felix quickly rushed over with condoms in hand.
Once sex started, Felix’s mind often worried about how it would soon end once Hyunjin was satisfied. Hyunjin would still satisfy Felix plenty, but Felix was starting to need more than just sex to fill him. He wanted their relationship to be more than just friends with benefits, but he worried if he tried to make that change Hyunjin would run away, and that seemed so much worse. If that were to occur, it would be proof that he had just wasted his time pining for someone who didn’t care for him. He wasn’t ready to face that reality.
Felix hated how wrapped around Hyunjin’s finger he was. He couldn’t bear to leave him, but it always seemed like he was at an arm's distance. So close to being able to touch, but still out of reach. Felix had yet to see Hyunjin make any effort. Eventually he gave up his dream of wanting something adventurous with Hyunjin. For the moment they were stable and Felix decided to be content with that. Still, while the nights were fun, the mornings were cold and lonely.
During his shower many thoughts raced through his head. He remembered how they first met at a business arrangement between their parents. After seeing Hyunjin sat on the other side of the table Felix was immediately smitten. Later on he saw Hyunjin at his university. Upon spotting him, Felix had run up to him to introduce himself. Hyunjin didn’t seem to remember him, but Felix hadn’t been able to stop thinking of him.
Felix felt heartbroken wishing nothing more than to have the earth swallow him whole so there was no proof of his existence anymore. He had just thoroughly embarrassed himself after trying to have his first conversation with Hyunjin. He was caught so off guard seeing him at his university that Felix had chased him down, just to ramble about a documentary. The documentary was about paper production. It was quite boring, but his professor wanted to make sure they understood the importance of paper. Saying that was why his class wouldn’t be done online. Felix even had the nerve to ask Hyunjin if paper was something that interested him. Meaningless to say, Felix never got a reply from the man and instead opted to spirited the other direction where he knew his friends would be waiting.
The university's sky was sunny, breathing comfort which contrasted Felix’s rather embarrassed and slightly dreary mood. He rushed up to the table his group of friends were studying at. Minho and Jeongin were working on a group project with a laptop, while Seungmin had his nose deep in a book studying. The spot was the usual place they would meet, as it was in between most of their classes. He hoped his friends would ease his unpleasant mood and give him some form of comfort.
He sat in his normal spot across from Minho
“Why didn’t you guys tell me Hyunjin goes here?” Felix whisper-shouted as he took his spot at the table, setting his backpack down.
Minho sarcastically spoke, pulling his head up from the project. “Hello to you too.”
“Who?” Jeongin asked, ignoring Minho’s remark, more focused on the project. Minho simply rolled his eyes at the lack of care.
“Hwang Hyunjin of course.” Felix couldn’t get this guy out of his head and he’d just found out that he attended the same university as him. Felix still remembered how sophisticated and reserved he was from across the meeting table. How his feathery voice floated around the room. How Felix’s cheeks felt hot after their parents passingly joked about their boys dating. How he wished Hyunjin would have looked at him just once during the meeting.
“Oh you mean the guy that sleeps around a bunch?” Minho spoke, rather displeased. He had fully switched his focus to Felix instead of his and Jeongin’s project. Knowing Minho, Jeongin finished some last minute details before eventually closing the laptop. Minho went on with the conversation. “Why would you care about him?”
“He’s the guy I’ve been talking about for the past month.” Felix spoke in a hushed tone as he leaned in closer to the middle of the table. He didn’t like eavesdroppers.
“The guy from your mom’s business deal?” Jeongin was shocked, not quite believing his ears. He never considered a nice proper guy like Felix would go for the money-flaunting playboy type. Felix simply confirmed his thoughts with a nod as he positioned himself back into his seat.
“I thought you said that guy was boyfriend material.” Minho looked Felix up and down, almost like checking to make sure he was okay in the head. “Hyunjin is not boyfriend material. He’s barely even friend material.”
Seungmin finally pulled his nose out of his book just to nudge Minho’s side, silently telling him not to continue. “So, did you talk to him?” said Seungmin as he placed his book down.
“Yes and no?” Felix let out an awkward laugh rubbing the back of his neck. “Listen, I tried, but I only ended up embarrassing myself.”
Jeongin glanced around the table making sure no one else had something to say first. “So, do you have a plan for how you’re going to win him over?”
“Honestly, I have no clue.” Felix frustratedly sighed as he laid his head on the table. The rest of the group looked around as if they all had the same idea.
Seungmin cleared his throat and put on a devilish smile. “Felix, it sounds like to me that you need a pick-me-up.”
Felix gave a knowing smirk back as he lifted up his credit card. “I could go for an escape.” The group broke out in cheer. Last time they went on an escape sponsored by Felix, they ended up in Paris. The group was more than happy to go on another adventure rather than staying stuck on campus studying.
They visited several luxury brand stores, picking out a light blue and white striped sweater they collectively agreed was made for Jeongin. Of course Jeongin adamantly tried to talk them out of it. However, the group eventually wore him down. Seungmin was still reassuring Jeongin about the sweater as Minho tried on a white pair of pants. Felix was wandering around the store glancing around to see if anything could catch his eyes.
He paused in front of some display cases taking a peak at the rings they had in stock. His eye caught on one ring in particular. It was gray mixed with white creating a marble like pattern. He couldn’t help but to think of Hyunjin. He searched the room making sure his friends were busy, so he could quietly purchase the item without being talked out of it by them. He asked the person to add in another of the same ring. It had always been a small dream for him to have matching rings with his significant other, and now he was one step closer.
He imagined how Hyunjin’s face would be upon receiving the ring. He wondered about how he could confess with the ring in hand asking Hyunjin to be his. His mind abruptly changed course thinking about worst case scenarios. Would Hyunjin see him as outdated for giving a gift for courting? Or worse, Hyunjin could think he was some sort of creep? He quickly had the person behind the counter box up the items before his thoughts could get any worse. He placed the bag in his backpack then met up with the rest of his friends.
Minho sighed at Seungmin. “No, we are not going there.”
“Come on, it looks really fun,” Seungmin defended.
Felix turned to Jeongin. “What are they arguing about now?”
Jeongin seemed over the pair’s arguing as he explained the situation. “Seungmin wants to go to this yacht party, but it’s being hosted by Jisung so Minho doesn’t want to go.”
“I thought you guys were back together?” Felix questioned tilting his head to the side.
“We were until I saw his messages with Hyun– '' Minho got cut off with a slap to the stomach from Jeongin. Jeongin’s eyes motioned to Felix. Minho knew he shouldn’t mention the name. The whole reason why they were here was to help Felix forget about him for a bit. Minho glanced at Felix finishing his sentence, “with another guy.”
Seungmin huffed out, “Hyung people send hearts and talk like that to their friends all the time”.
“If I go to that party he’ll think I’m not mad anymore.”
Seungmin smirked. “Well, if you don’t go, I’ll tell him you’re not mad anymore.” Jeongin couldn’t help the gasp that escaped his lips. Seungmin had won the game and there was no way Minho could change the tides. It was the perfect checkmate.
“Fine, but I’ll just stand in the corner.” Seungmin gave a proud smile at finally beating Minho.
Felix cooed at Minho’s tiny defiance. “Awww. To make it up to you, how about I buy those pants?” Minho broke out into a smile as he headed back into the dressing room.
“Are we going then?” Jeongin asked.
“Yes, you heard him.” Seungmin nudged Felix. “and as long as we have Felix, we can get in anywhere”.
Felix playfully rolled his eyes. “Wow, I love you too.”
“You’re not on the list.” The buff bouncer towered over the group standing in front of the velvet rope.
“Oh come on.” Seungmin pouted.
“Well I guess we can’t get in, oh well.” Minho shrugged, walking away from the entrance. Felix grabbed his arm pulling him back.
“Well if I’m not on the list–” Felix turned to Minho. “Then you certainly are.”
“Name?” the unamused bodyguard asked.
“Lee Minho,” answered Jeongin. Minho clicked his tongue at his friends for giving out his information so easily.
The bodyguard seemed to pause for a moment, recognizing the name. “ID?”
“Here.” Seungmin gave the ID he’d taken from the older’s back pocket.
Minho narrowed his eyes. “Are you guys for real?”
“As real as it gets,” Felix joked, turning his attention back to the guard.
The bodyguard offered Minho back his ID. Minho harshly grabbed it, putting it back into his wallet, this time opting to keep the wallet in a front pocket instead. The guard moved to the side, letting the crew head into the party. Seungmin seemed thrilled to finally be let in, dragging Jeongin and Felix inside as well. However, the bodyguard placed his hand in front of Minho, not letting him pass. The group turned around to see what the problem was.
The bodyguard spoke. “Boss wants to see you.”
“Well I don’t want to see him.” Minho turned his head away.
“He’s expecting you.”
“Expecting me?” Minho raised an eyebrow.
Seeing Minho’s confusion, Seungmin let out a small laugh. “Sorry Hyung, but he offered me the camera I’ve been looking at for the past month.”
“You traded me for a camera!” Minho attempted to lunge at the man, but was stopped by the guard. Who then radioed something inaudible over his walkie talkie. Seungmin, seeing he was free from being attacked, took Felix’s hand and ran away deeper into the crowd of the party.
Jeongin spoke to Minho before joining the rest of the group. “Listen, it's really dumb to stay mad at him. I hope you guys make up by the end of the day.“
“Did you know about this too?” Minho yelled. He never got his answer. Instead two more bodyguards showed up. Minho knew the drill and went with them willingly. Last time, he opted to dive into the water rather than deal with Jisung but running away wasn’t something worth dirtying his new white pants for.
The rest of the group didn’t really know too many people at the party. Normally Minho would keep his boyfriend to himself, so even though the group hung out through trips and outings they never really met Jisung or his friends. Minho would always claim that Jisung’s friends were annoying anyways so there was no point. They honestly wondered how the two lasted as long as they had. Even though they were on again off again they were only ever really off for a day or two, so the group felt like it didn’t really count as being broken up. Seungmin might not understand their relationship, but he was glad to get a free camera from it.
The boys decided to dance around for a bit, having a blast simply enjoying the blaring music and the pulsing lights. They had a couple of drinks in them, but not enough to be considered drunk. After all, this was far from their first party. Memories of Jeongin’s first drink passed through Felix’s mind. He still remembered how the boy ran to the sink thinking he was going to throw up.
“I hear they’re playing beer pong down stairs. I wanna join,” Jeongin yelled over the music, begging Seungmin while pulling on his arm. “Please. I know we’ll make the best team.” It came from some truth as they had won at parties prior. Seungmin gave a simple nod and then was dragged away by the younger. Felix gave them a light wave goodbye before continuing to dance, solo this time.
After a while, he placed his hand on his throat feeling like it was getting quite dry. He searched for where the non-alcoholic drinks were, hoping some plain water would help clear up his throat. His eyes finally found a small table next to some stairs leading upwards. It held snacks and what Felix hoped was some bottled water.
Felix made his way to the table. He was on the hunt as he looked through the items, finally spotting the water in tiny glass bottles. He reached to grab it, ready to down it, but a voice spoke up before he could enjoy his drink.
“I never took you for a vodka type of guy.” A man spoke from the steps.
“Huh?” Felix was confused by what the guy was talking about and also who he was. When he turned to face him his eyes widened with recognition. It was Hyunjin.
Hyunjin attempted to clear the confusion. “The drink you’re holding? You do know that’s vodka, right?”
Felix glanced down at the drink in his hand before politely setting it down. “Oh no I didn't know. I was just looking for some water.” He tried to give a reassuring smile, but feared it looked more awkward than anything else.
“Are you staying sober because you're the designated driver for your group?”
“How did you know–” Felix shook off the thought. “I’m not. We’ve got a different driver.” Hyunjin raised his eyebrows. Felix giggled. “We were just going to call a Substitute Driver.”
Hyunjin lit up with understanding. “Ah, well that’s good then.”
“Oh, and why is that?” Felix smirked.
Hyunjin seemed to be a little taken back at Felix’s bold question, but then once again regained his composure. “It means I can have you all to myself tonight.”
“Shit,” Felix thought. “Was this really happening? Once Hyunjin was a man who couldn’t even look at me, now he has me against my bedroom wall.” Needless to say, Felix was on cloud nine. He could feel Hyunjin’s hot breath as Hyunjin’s lips worked around his neck. His hands lightly picked at Felix’s shirt. Felix could tell by the action that Hyunjin wanted the shirt off. Felix obliged by unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt, halting when Hyunjin’s lips moved to his collarbone.
A sharp inhale came from Felix as Hyunjin lightly bit his collarbone. This wasn’t Felix’s first time doing things. However, it was his first time having sex with someone he barely knew. Yet he was so enthralled with the person in front of him. When he looked in Hyunjin’s eyes he felt like they were on the same page, that Hyunjin felt the same lust he did. Fantasizing about this moment was one thing, but reality was turning out to be much better.
Felix separated from Hyunjin for a moment only to tug his hand leading him to the bed. “I hope you don’t mind staying at my place.” Felix could be silly at times, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew the other boy had a habit of sleeping around, that’s why Felix had asked him to come to his place. To stay in his bed. He hoped maybe being in a different location would set him apart from the others. That he could make it special for him. After all Hyunjin’s eyes seemed so full of want when he was looking at him. Maybe a change of setting would show Hyunjin that he was different from the rest.
Hyunjin simply replied with, “sounds good. I sleep over at other people’s places all the time.” Swing and miss. Felix had struck out. He was just like the others. Felix’s gloom must have shown on his face for Hyunjin turned towards him. “If you’re not okay with this, we don’t have to do anything. If you just want to talk I’m down for that as well.”
“No! No. I want this.” Felix desperately wanted this, although he preferred it under different circumstances. It would be better if he had gotten to know the man a little more. However, he wasn’t going to let a chance like this pass him by. A chance to go wild for once and have sex with someone he barely knew. While it didn't sound like him, college was a place for figuring out one’s self, so what was wrong with him doing the same? Was it really that wrong for him to want something that was so close?
Felix’s hand traveled to the back of Hyunjin's head, lightly gripping his hair. He pulled his head closer as he pressed their lips together. Butterflies swarmed around in his stomach. He opened his mouth, tasting the alcohol from Hyunjin’s tongue. It told him that he wasn’t the only one who had drank. Felix gripped Hyunjin’s hair tighter, not wanting him to run away. He wanted to hold onto this moment, for just a little bit longer. He worried if his grip loosened then Hyunjin would fall through. He’d be back to spending his nights alone in his cold room. He urgently needed a body to heat his bed tonight.
Hyunjin smirked at the pull of his hair. He had no idea such a sweet looking guy liked it rough. Hyunjin was more than down to play along. He placed his hand on Felix’s shoulder and lightly pushed him away, just to stare into his eyes. Felix couldn’t hold the shared gaze for long, eyes wandering around the other’s body. Even with that Hyunjin kept his eyes focused and concentrated on Felix’s, giving out a little smirk when their eyes met once again.
“How do you want me?” Hyunjin questioned. Felix could feel the routine in his actions. He could only wonder if Hyunjin had bad experiences that led to this becoming a default question. Maybe he asked it to add to the overall experience. Felix had never really thought about boundaries when it came to sex.
Felix was still uncertain how to answer the question when words seemed to tumble out of his mouth. “I just want you.” Immediately a deep blush spread across his face after the words left his lips. Hyunjin simply smiled looking down at him. Felix started stuttering. “I- I- I want…” He trailed off unsure of how to finish his sentence.
“If you don’t know what you want, that's okay too. We can just play it by ear. Tapping your finger three times will be our safe action. I’ll pull back and make sure to check on you when you do that. Do you think that’s a good action?” Felix gave a simple nod and Hyunjin gave a small smile at the cute gesture. ”For now let’s just take things slow and steady.” Hyunjin stared deeply into Felix’s eyes. Felix stared back hoping to communicate that he was more than ready. After Hyunjin got whatever answer he was looking for he continued his movements from earlier.
Leaning in he let his breath cascade over Felix’s exposed neck. The next sensation Felix detected was Hyunjin’s soft lips, then the tongue that eventually peeked through them. Felix’s breathing started to shorten. He was enthralled with the sensation. He didn’t believe it could get better, but Hyunjin proved him wrong when he dragged his finger over his nipple through the thin fabric of his shirt.
That’s when Felix remembered he was wearing one. The material had roughly rubbed his nipples, but Felix wanted to feel Hyunjin’s delicate hands. He kept his neck exposed as he glanced down, noticing Hyunjin was also still fully clothed. Felix didn’t like that idea. He wished to see more of Hyunjin. All of Hyunjin. He reached for the bottom of Hyunjin’s shirt, pulling up. Hyunjin finally broke away from Felix’s neck to help lift the shirt over his head. Once the shirt was free, Felix took off his own.
Hyunjin halted, taking in Felix’s exposed upper body. His eyes seemed to be taking in every detail. Felix almost started to feel embarrassed from all the staring, when suddenly Hyunjin's eyes locked with his. His eyes seemed to ask, “Can I?” Felix wasn’t one to say no offen so he gave a nod. Hyunjin immediately let his tongue slide out of his mouth and onto Felix’s nipple. The sensation sent sparks through Felix’s body. Hyunjin’s tongue outlined the nipple then went straight over it. When he wasn’t using his tongue on the nipple he was using his mouth to suck on it. He traded in between the two as Felix had begun to dig his nails into Hyunjin’s shoulders at the feeling.
Hyunjin’s hand played with the nipple he wasn’t sucking on, flicking and rubbing his knuckle on it. His other hand seemed to have gotten bored and he trailed along Felix’s stomach getting lower and lower, until it halted right at the top of Felix’s pants. His fingers traced the rim of the pants, ghosting along Felix’s skin, before moving away completely. Felix was saddened by the sudden loss, but the feeling soon got replaced as Hyunjin groped his dick from the outside of his pants. It was shocking and Felix let out a moan at the feeling, but quickly covered his mouth.
Hyunjin abruptly lifted his head up at the noise, pulling Felix’s hands away. “Don’t be afraid to make noise.” Hyunjin’s eyes scanned Felix’s face. “I think you sound really pretty.” Felix felt the remark pour over him filling him with desire. He desperately wanted to be noisy for Hyunjin’s approval. Hyunjin took the opportunity of their separation to take off his pants, getting up from the bed to do so. Felix, trying to follow suit, fumbled with his clunky belt that refused to become undone.
Hyunjin must have heard his noises of struggle for he kneeled down on the floor in between Felix’s legs. Felix’s eyes widened at the sight. Hyunjin slipped the belt off with one swift motion, not losing eye contact with Felix. A speck of doubt fell into Felix’s mind. “How was that so easy for him to undo my belt?” He wondered how many times he had done that for someone else.
“Could you lift up your hips?”
“Oh right,” Felix gave a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asked as he stroked the side of Felix’s face. Felix leaned into the touch. It didn’t matter how many times Hyunjin had been in this situation before. He was in front of Felix ready to have sex with him. He chose to be with Felix in the moment, and Felix should respect that choice by staying in the moment as well. He shouldn’t be worried about Hyunjin’s past.
“Yeah I’m fine. My mind was just elsewhere for a moment, but I’m here now.”
“I’ll make sure to keep you here then.” There was a shuddering determination in the way Hyunjin spoke those words. He moved up the bed pushing Felix further onto it as well. Hyunjin hovered over Felix’s dick causing him to grip the sheets below him in anticipation. Hyunjin leaned in closer, placing a kiss on Felix’s pelvis sending chills throughout his body.
Hyunjin used his pointer finger to trace the outline of Felix’s dick. The sensation caused Felix’s breath to stutter for a brief moment, stopping completely when Hyunijn harshly gripped the base of his dick. Hyunjin was fascinated with the man 's reactions. There was so much more he could do to tease him with anticipation. However, when his eyes fell onto the man’s hands gripping the bed he let up a bit. He gave a light kiss on the tip to amend for his previous teasing.
Felix’s eyes rolled back when Hyunjin ran his tongue along the bottom side of Felix’s shaft. He held Felix’s dick circling his tongue around his tip. Felix sighed at the feeling, his toes curling with pleasure. Hyunjin expertly lowered his mouth on Felix’s member in one swift motion. Using his free hand, he pressed against Felix’s hole. Felix moaned at the pleasure of having the two areas be appreciated. Hyunjin began to bob his head up and down Felix’s dick as Felix’s knuckles started to turn white from gripping the sheets.
They stayed like that for a while, Hyunjin sucking him off as Felix’s moans got more frequent. Hyunjin pulled away after a particular loud moan came from Felix. Felix worried for a moment that he had been too much, but soon he felt a cool liquid sensation in his back entrance. Instead of simply teasing from the outside, for the first time, Hyunjin’s finger had finally entered him. He glanced down through his legs to see Hyunjin placing a condom on his dick with the hand that wasn’t in his ass. The sight undoubtedly sent Felix spiraling deeper into his sex filled mind. He let his head fall back onto the bed, closing his eyes, too focused on the feeling of being spread open by Hyunjin’s lubed fingers.
Hyunjin’s expert hands slowly added another finger to Felix’s hole. As Felix felt himself being stretched more and more he craned his neck backwards. Familiar lips landed back on Felix’s neck leaving open mouth kisses as Hyunjin stretched him wider and wider. Felix’s nails dug deep into Hyunjin’s back in an attempt to feel some stability. As Hyunjin pulled his fingers out of his ass, Felix couldn’t help but to whine at the loss.
“Don’t worry pretty,” said Hyunjin lustily. He was right not to worry because the loss was soon replaced with Hyunjin’s member filling up Felix’s hole. The feeling of Hyunjin’s dick swarmed through his brain, as he perfectly filled him. Hyunjin stayed still, allowing Felix to adjust to his size. He gave light kisses around Felix’s chest as he waited. His hands were placed next to Felix’s sides. Hyunjin had affectedly caged him with his body, giving Felix reassurance. There was Hyunjin everywhere and Felix no longer wanted to live in a world without him.
Once Felix knew he could take more, he spoke. “You can move now.” He felt a little strange speaking the words out loud, but felt a rush of pleasure soon after. Once Hyunjin had registered the words he started pulling out just to ram back into him full force. Everytime he did so, Felix’s moans would grow, which only seemed to fuel Hyunjin more. The constant in and out repetition was mesmerizing. It had caused Felix to claw his fingers down Hyunjin’s back from the pure satisfaction it was giving him.
Hyunjin maneuvered Felix onto his knees with his hands on the bed. Now Hyunjin had a view of Felix’s muscular backside as he spread his ass wider trying to get Hyunjin deeper inside of himself. Felix gripped the sheet underneath him as Hyunjin hit new places. After hitting a particular spot, Felix let out a scream of pleasure arching his back. Hyunjin seemed to let out a small chuckle and then abused that spot. Felix started to see stars as the pace quickened faster and faster.
Felix’s moans got louder and higher as he felt his climax approaching. He didn’t want to hold back or pretend anymore. He tightened up his hole as he came on his stomach and the bed. Felix’s arms gave out as Hyunjin continued thrusting into him. He quickened his pace to chase his own high, enjoying the new tightness of Felix’s hole.
Hyunjin came with a groan, finally releasing his load into Felix. They panted heavily. After a few more moments Hyunjin pulled out of Felix. A strange sense of voidness crept up on Felix at the loss of the other inside him. Hyunjin took off the condom, tying it up and throwing it into the bin nearby. Felix simply gazed at him through heavy eyelids. Hyunjin curled up next to him, resting his head on Felix’s chest, still attempting to catch his breath. Warmth seemed to bloom in Felix’s core at the action. This was the start of something beautiful.
Hyunjin spoke out of breath. “That was amazing.” He looked up at Felix and smirked. “I’d love to do that again sometime.”
“Oh. Oh. This was a–” Hyunjin gave him a confused look. Felix let out a small laugh trying to cover up his mood. “Never mind.” He then plastered on the best smile he could muster as he turned to Hyunjin. “Yeah I’d love that!”
Hyunjin glanced down at Felix’s stomach. “Here let me get that.” Hyunjin abruptly headed towards the open bathroom door. After hearing him stumble around for a bit, Hyunjin returned with a damp washcloth. Felix sharply inhaled at the coolness of the cloth. “Sorry, is it cold?”
“It’s fine.” Felix turned his head to the side. He couldn’t look at the man in front of him any longer. Felix wished he could tell Hyunjin to stop. The cloth was too cold, but he kept quiet. Hyunjin didn’t know his feelings and Felix knew telling him now would only ruin the night.
The warmth from before had vanished and suddenly the whole bed seemed much colder than normal. Instead of being the start of their relationship as boyfriends it was the start of their relationship as hook up partners. Felix was just like everyone else. He felt stupid for thinking he could ever be more than that. His friends were right, Hyunjin was just a guy who hooked up with people. Yet when Hyunjin would call, Felix always came. That’s how it was and that’s what Felix fears it will always be.
Felix shook off the memories. He wished it didn’t end with him always waking up alone. He was dazed in the bathroom feeling the water from the shower drip down his body. He has long given up crying or feeling upset about his situation. He was mostly just frustrated with himself. He was too weak to break it off, yet keeping things the way they were was only making him suffer more. He always felt like he was a spy or a liar, sleeping with Hyunjin under the false pretense of it being casual when it always meant the world to Felix.
Felix let out a huff of his frustration. His worries on this subject had been contained to just him. It clogged up his head at times making him wish for some sort of release. He wanted to tell his friends about it, but found it too shameful. He had become stuck in the same story when Hyunjin had asked him to just be friends. “Afterall, friends with benefits are still a type of friends, right?” Felix shook his head at his lame excuse.
He exited the bathroom looking around his bedroom for his notes and books. He had a test coming up Friday that he needed to study for. He flipped on the light switch hoping it would help his search. However, his thoughts were broken when he heard a groan coming from his bed. “Could it be?” He wondered as he got closer.
It was Hyunjin lying peacefully in his bed. It was the first time Felix had ever seen him asleep. If he could wake up to this sight everyday, life would be worth living a little bit more. He got closer, admiring his eye lashes and the mole under his right eye. Finally Felix stopped at his lips. He wanted to kiss them so badly. They never kissed outside of sex. It was a boundary Felix never dared to cross. While the other layed there Felix could feel that the boundary was getting closer and closer as he leaned in. Was he really about to cross it?
The sheets moved as Hyunjin started to stir awake. Felix quickly leapt across the room getting as far away from the other as he could in such a short amount of time. Felix found his school bag as the perfect distraction and went back to searching for his notes. His back faced the bed as he searched intensely, pushing his thoughts from earlier away.
Hearing Hyunjin sit up, Felix decided to break the silent room. “You slept over here for the first time.”
Hyunjin spoke groggily out loud. “Did I?”
Felix’s heart dropped at Hyunjin’s nonchalant attitude. This was such a big moment for Felix, but it was being torn down by Hyunjin not noticing him once again. Why did he get his hopes up that Hyunjin was being different or doing something special because it was him? Did he think that Hyunjin suddenly woke up and was ready to confess? Felix wondered if ending this relationship would be better than being in it.
Felix continued looking through his bag. He hoped Hyunjin still believed his focus was on the contents of the bag. In reality all his thoughts were on Hyunjin and their conversation. “Was there anything you needed?”
“Yeah, I had a question,” said Hyunjin. “I kinda need a date for my mom’s charity fundraiser, and I was wondering if you’d wanna go?”
Felix felt his heartbeat speed up, as he paused his searching. “Are you asking me to be your date?”
“Uh yeah, just ‘cause you also come from old money as well. My friends just don’t get this kind of thing.”
“Oh.” Felix was disappointed once again. “You’re asking me to be your fake date?”
Felix heard a muffled “Yeah,” come from his bed. Felix sighed, zipping up his bag deciding that his notes weren’t in there. “Is there a problem with that?”
Felix did his best to make his voice sound stable. “No, not at all.” He turned to his desk, spotting the notes he had been searching for. Of course it would be there, it was the simplest solution. Felix turned back to see Hyunjin typing on his phone. Maybe he should go for the simple option with this problem as well. Wasn’t it better to just end things plain and simple?
⤷ Part 2
A/N: I hope you liked it! It was my first time writing smut so hopefully I didn't do too bad. As always helpful criticism is highly welcomed and thank you for reading!! <3
