the desk of "Enemy_Scenarios" @enemyscenarios - Tumblr Blog

sometimes merely existing in the world as a trans woman with principles makes me feel like i'm going insane. what do you mean people think prisons are a good thing. what do you mean diverting from monogamy is considered ludicrous. what do you mean people think one's nature is unchangeable. what is considered 'normal' by the overwhelming majority of people is fucking topsy-turvy land to me. i dont understand it at all

detectivehole

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

detectivehole

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

qqueenofhades

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

flavinbagel

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

theterriblethingabouttulio

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

kat-witha-k

This is fucking insane

brightlotusmoon

mod2amaryllis

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

worldheritageposts-official

World Heritage Post

my-dailydreams

zeeismee

maidslime

Give your local puppygirl a hug :)

4e3076

lemuen is perfect. shes literally everything

^ lemuen

This is what happens when you say yes to everything at the checkout.

theoneofwhomisblue

Scooping him

circumgutter

mousegirlheart

why did eating some seasoned chicken reduce my chronic pain?

mousegirlheart

valtsv

in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look

valtsv

behold. my ugly son.

felix-the-creature

Species accurate version

grubbzygo0p

wretched little creature

beemovieerotica

had a dream i was driving in the pokemon universe and something suddenly darted across the road and i ended up hitting a goddamn suicune. legendary reflexes though because i pulled out a pokeball and threw it out my window before she could run. caught her. said aloud "damn i wonder how often this happens." decided to immediately bring suicune out of her pokeball to check stats and i guess she could talk just like entei in that movie because the first thing she says is "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???"

audsoll-blog

Are you going to write some pokemon fanfiction now? The scrub with his team of cringefail legendaries?

beemovieerotica

*her team ok i envision the driver as a gamer gjrl drinking and driving when she hits the suicune (her sprigatito is in the passenger seat rolling around on spilled weed like catnip) and she steps out of the car with a four loko still in her hand looking at this chopped suicune in the road like "damn. that's one fucked up vaporean." and she continues drinking and shaking her head before throwing the pokeball.

beemovieerotica

ok further developing this character: she's the only person in the pokemon universe who can hear pokemon actually speaking in english and have full complex conversations with them because she hit a DMT vape too hard and she ended up meeting arceus who made her pokemon Eliza Thornberry.

beemovieerotica