just some stuff

Some nsfw, some writing, some random stuff. enjoy. feel free to message me.

[headspace-hotel]

concept: there are lots of different worlds and all of them have different levels of access to magic. Some are just all over the place and some have no magic at all.

You would think that we would be one of the strictly non-magical worlds, but actually, that’s not the case—we don’t have like, a huge excess of magic, but we have, like, dreams, and the placebo effect, which puts us pretty solidly in the “Numinous” world category.

[headspace-hotel]

This post brought to you by the placebo effect, which is completely insane if you think about it for more than like 3 seconds

but for some reason we insist on thinking of it like “so people’s symptoms improve, but like, it’s Fake” rather than “HOLY SHIT humans are so powerful, they can improve the symptoms of their illnesses just by believing they are being cared for.”

[headspace-hotel]

Anyway just imagine like

Human, suddenly sucked by portal into a Magical Land: damn I wish I came from a magical world lol

Elf wizard dude: hahaha bro what are you talking about

Human: well, my world is just—

Elf wizard dude: what about the magic rocks????

Human: What magic rocks?

Elf wizard dude: You know, the magic rocks. The ones that generate near infinite energy by tearing apart the fabric of their reality? You know, like, uranium? You haven’t found those yet?

Human: Wait wait wait. That’s not—

Elf wizard dude: And like, come on, you even have some low level necromantic spells over there, like—

Human: We do not have necromantic spells, what are you talking about

Elf wizard dude: didn’t you say your friend was an EMT though? they do that shit all the time. Hell, you don’t even have to be like a high level caster or some shit, it takes like a few weeks to learn CPR

Human: Wh—

Elf wizard dude: You guys do have CPR, right?

Human: I mean yes but—what the—CPR is not necromancy!! That’s not how it works, it doesn’t bring people back from the—well I guess technically it does but that doesn’t—

Elf wizard dude: Next you’re going to be telling me Mothman doesn’t “count” either.

Human:

Human: …

Human: …What.

[headspace-hotel]

Human: You don’t understand. I mean…Radioactivity kills people!

Elf wizard dude: Ohhh. You got just the cursed magic rocks.

Human: …

Elf wizard dude: Damn. That sucks man.

[headspace-hotel]

Elf wizard dude: So you have no talking animals? None?

Human: Well I mean—there is that one type of parrot but like that doesn’t—

Elf wizard dude: godDAMN it

[luciusswimminglessons]

Elf wizard: That's not even the only type of magical rock that you have

Human: You mean we have more death rocks?

Elf wizard: No, this one isn't a death rock, it just has the power to move other rocks toward or away from it with a magical force

Human: ...MAGNETISM ISN'T-

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[maxofs2d]

we don’t have anything like this in French and it offers a range of expressibility that I wish we could properly translate back. it is a feature, i concur

[theoxventureguildarchive]

I have to work this into my oxventure fanfics somehow.

I am SANDWICHED at this idea

[ms-demeanor]

bad news, professor, the sixty dollar book of short stories and poems that you "edited" for our english 101 class is out of stock from the school bookstore, the included texts are all available online, and I have constructed a google doc to share with the class.

Kids, if you are in an English 101 class and you have a textbook that costs more than twenty bucks you should check your syllabus and see if the assigned readings are available online.

English 101 professors fucking love stories that were originally published in the New Yorker or poems that are 100 years old.

Are you taking an English 101 class during the fall semester? I give it an 80% probability of including an Edgar Allan Poe short story and you DO NOT PAY for Edgar Allan Poe short stories you go to Gutenberg.org and you read for free. (my class is doing the cask of amontillado and i look forward to memeing with you in october.)

Anyway if you're in an English or Composition class and your professor has assigned the third edition of the Little Seagull handbook this site definitely does not include the entire text at the bottom of the page and you definitely should not save it from there. (i would not recommend trying to download the PDF, tho. Just copy the text.)

[owl-librarian]

Also please, please, please check your college/university’s library! They have the budget you don’t, and mostly do their very best to buy all required textbooks, often including coursepacks. Often you can check out the books for a limited period of time (say a couple hours or a few days) if it’s a required text, OR they may have them electronically for you to download/access.  (or both!)

[ms-demeanor]

VERY MUCH THIS.

If your campus library is currently open and allowing people to check out books, there is a VERY good chance that your required textbook will be available for on-campus loans of a few hours.

What you do is this:

Wait until you have your syllabus

Go to the library and check out the required text and use a private study room

Use the high resolution camera in your pocket (because almost all of us are carrying one these days) to take pictures of every page of the assigned readings.

Organize the photos into files titled with the name of the class and the due date for each reading

Say "fuck you" to the $300, 1200 page Literary Theory book that you just photographed 87 pages of and live your best academic life carefree.

[ms-demeanor]

Also, my dear young friends who are starting college for the first time, I would like to introduce you to the Perdue University Online Writing Lab and its Citation Style Guide.

This is a free online resource that will tell you what the most up-to-date citation style is for MLA, APA, AMA, Chicago Style, and more.

Don't fail your bibliographies, friends.

[ms-demeanor]

I was a lit major and even just getting the paperbacks for a bunch of my classes was sometimes prohibitively expensive so I used to:

A) Read a LOT of Dickens on Gutenberg on the tiny screen of my sidekick

and

B) Copy full texts off of gutenberg and print them eight pages to a sheet (four on each side) on printer paper and staple them together.

Here's a fun thing! You can also get a book on kindle, disconnect your kindle from the internet, read the book, and return the book for a full refund. This works best if it's something you can read in a short time and you don't need the device for anything else while you're reading that book.

[nichristi]

Also, music majors! If you're looking for music, imslp is a free database of the Classics. There's sheet music, recordings, libretto, etc. Also also, if you find a piece of music online but they want you to pay to print, absolutely don't find a full screen version of the piece, screenshot, and edit the resulting photo to print.

[writeroftheprompts]

As someone who just graduated, all of this, plus:

Don’t forget about your local libraries too! Don't have access to the physical building because you moved to campus or the pandemic or whatever? See if they have the books you need as ebooks since a lot of libraries now have ebook and audiobook collections you can access through Libby, Overdrive and other apps. Your university might not have the book but other libraries might.

If you’re doing research and find a book you really want to use but you can't find it at your library, see if you can get it from another university. I think most universities have an interlibrary loaning system where they can request a book from another institution on your behalf and you just have to pick it up from your library and return it to them. Ask the librarians for help if you're not sure how to do this.

Since this is mostly for first years (welcome) let me introduce you to JSTOR for all your scholarly article needs. Just login through your institution.

Also for research, your library is not just for books, there are tons of other online resources besides JSTOR for scholarly articles, audio files, films and documentaries, archives, etc. If you find something through Google that you want to use but it's not free to access, check through your library. But also, like, there are actually tons of really interesting movies you can watch for free, so, have fun!

Seriously, SO MANY short stories, poems, and entire novels studied in Lit classes are royalty free and therefore easily found online. 

Even for textbooks check your library before purchasing. I’ve found a  few of them readily available as ebooks on the library that you can access anytime and even download for free. 

For anyone worried that they’ll get in trouble for not using the exact book that is required on the syllabus, most professors don't care, at least in English where the novel published in 1800 is still the same novel just maybe with a different foreword. They know you’re up to your eyeballs in fees so they usually don't care which edition you buy/read (some will even tell you it’s in the library), just make sure you are clear about which edition you are citing in papers so they know why there is a discrepancy between your page numbers and theirs. For the cases where the edition does matter (like they actually want you to read the specific foreword of that specific edition because it’s actually useful) you can still try to find that one in libraries and such. 

[eonaeera]

In addition to all this, not just for literature but any course, second hand book stores like Half Price Books (if you're in the midwest idk about anywhere else), or second hand stores like Goodwill are a great resource for older versions of textbooks. I always donate my textbooks to Goodwill or sell them for pennies to Half Priced Books. Prof says you need 4th edition? The 3rd edition is usually very similar save for some grammatical or writing changes. Usually. Sometimes there are some major changes like the order of the chapters or actual changes in information so be sure to compare to your classmates who actually have the correct version.

[injuries-in-dust]

PETA just ruins everything. Can we agree?

[dracophile]

This feels like Alaskan Parks and Rec and that’s a compliment

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

apparently people have been dumping goldfish that they no longer want into a lake near minneapolis and now there are giant monster goldfish roaming the waters

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

chunky little man. unnatural creature.

[t0xicgr33nz-deactivated20230303]

Don't make this seem alright. Their waste damages the ecosystem enough alone not accounting for the fact they aren't supposed to be fucking in the wild. They're not made to be wild. HENCE WHY THREY TURN INTO FUCKIN MONSTERS. They fucking kill off all food sources damn quick and breed like rabbits. Fucking don't ""release"" fish.

You can legally kill them and I'd honestly recommend it. I hate hurting fish personally but it's FOR THE BETTER

[argentiaertheri]

Goldfish people are nuts, and I say this as a fish person. I guarantee if you hit up goldfish forums you’ll find someone to take your fish

[matriarchyuzi-deactivated202508]

Do goldfish taste good?

[argentiaertheri]

They’re carp so I think it depends what they eat?

[prismatic-bell]

Also, to be clear:

Goldfish will grow to fit the size of their enclosure.

Yes, this is real. That dude’s name is Edward Nino Hernandez and the fish weighed almost as much as he did.

Imagine what an animal this size could do to a small lake.

Now realize that they can breed.

You see the problem here, right?

Please, DON’T RELEASE YOUR FISH!

[salamencerobot]

Goldfish are also literally just carp with a funky color so in the wild it only takes a couple generations to revert to the normal brown which makes it IMPOSSIBLE to find them.

[hyperfocusthusly]

@wherearetheplums L O O K

[funny-tik-toks]

[garrettwrites]

Follow me on Twitter for more vampire nonsense

[shrike-dyke]

human: dude you've been in our d&d group for literally like three years, you don't need to keep asking if you're invited every time

vampire: i knowww, i just get anxious ok?

human: oh fair

[lastsonlost]

I feel personally attacked. Lol

[nicostiel]

Kiki’s Delievery Service (1989)

+ letterboxd reviews (insp)

[stupidnoobofficial]

PSA

theres a new product by verzion called “hum” that allows your parents to track your car and places you go, if your parents are controlling like mine please check under your steering wheel to make sure that they havent installed this

[selfcarereminders]

here is what it looks like installed:

you can read more about it here, and here- this excerpt sums up what information Hum will send: 

“a car’s owner will be able to get notified on their phone when the vehicle leaves a pre-determined area or drives faster than a set speed… [Hum] will enable location tracking and a driving log, which measures travel times, engine idle times, and average speeds.” 

[misangremellama]

People in abusive relationships, please check your cars.

[misangremellama]

DO NOT TRY TO UNPLUG IT BY YOURSELF!

[tassiekitty]

To add to this nightmare, I’ve just heard of a thing called ForceField where people get to monitor and block internet sites that you’re going on if they don’t approve.

It tells the user what sites/apps you’re going on, for how long you’re on them, and WHERE YOU ARE ON AN UPDATING MAP.

So you know if you’re in an abusive household and use sites like tumblr to escape and talk to friends, you could be cut off from that.

They say “it’s not spyware” but it sure sounds controlling and creepy to me.

[lazygeckoknightintraining]

signalboost

[harpuiaa]

God. Fuck. That’s scary.

[everywitchway-deactivated201905]

Life 360 is another tracker. My parents have used it on me, not allowing me to delete it from my phone, and sometimes even demanding selfies to prove I was where the map said. (As if I’d go anywhere without my phone)

[beerune]

SpectorPro is another one. Afaik it can’t track location, but it takes screenshots roughly every 20sec to allow the installer to watch a video of your computer activity. It also tracks all keystrokes, so passwords aren’t safe, and records any website you visit + the duration. It’s incredibly creepy and a huge violation of privacy, and was one of the cornerstones of my abuse as a kid.

[sugarseros-deactivated20221026]

even if you’re not in an abusive relationship/family, please spread this because you might have just saved someone’s life

[lizluvscupcakes]

And yes darling. This is abuse. It’s not “oh they’re just overprotective!!!” No. It’s abuse.

[ultimatebottom69]

Bitch it’s controlling as fuck . Overprotective is worrying if your kid is eating too much sugar .

[parental-tendencies]

look out for qustodio as well. I have a relative who had to deal with this nonsense. It can be hidden on your phone without you knowing and can shut your entire device off remotely along with a bunch of other creepy things.

[eonaeera]

Fuck that shits creepy. Burn it. Burn it all.

[meanplastic]

[eonaeera]

You do not need to save wasps or hornets. Let those evil fuckers die. Bumblebees and honey bees though, def need your help.

[omghotmemes]

At a conveyer belt sushi restaurant.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

The appropriate response.

[gif87a-com]

[knightlyhoods-deactivated202404]

when you tryna chill but your siblings love annoyin you

[lovely-little-hellfire]

Favorite moment

[dovahhoe]

That’s that “Ima beat yo ass” run 😂😂

[hennypendergrass]

He finna beat his ass

[thelittlertiddy-deactivated2018]

I can hear the “aye chill bro chill I’m just playing”

[everythingfox]

(via)

[eonaeera]

My dog would wake up and be pawing at my leg before I even got that close to her

[dear-ao3]

hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.

[dear-ao3]

THATS TUPPERWARE

[sobutmermaids]

i thought delaware was a place in ohio? why are there so many things named delaware?

[dear-ao3]

delaware is too powerful

[uncertaininnit]

what the fuck

[dear-ao3]

[skaktusposts]

Wait what? I thought Delaware was a store with building supplies. Like paint, wood, nails and stuff?

[dear-ao3]

THATS HOME DEPOT ???

[skaktusposts]

I know home depot, but dude I don't know anything about America mad have never been there. Are you sure there is not a some sort of store called something close to Delaware!?!

[dear-ao3]

.....ace hardware....?

[uncertaininnit]

this post has only been around for a few hours but could very well be a world heritage post

[dear-ao3]

but at what cost

[publiusmaximum]

This post launched at 8am PST on 12 Feb 2021. The above conversation has happened in 3 hours.

[dear-ao3]

[uncertaininnit]

he WHAT? i thought he was from. w. wait. ???

[dear-ao3]

delaware stole the presidents shoelaces for clout and became too powerful

[likethehorrormovie]

From the UK- and what do you mean Delaware isn't a type of ceramic?

[dear-ao3]

it is now

[tome-itwas]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame is it too early?

[kkshowtunes]

Isn’t delaware what they make computers on???

[dear-ao3]

software ??

[you-say-that-so-often]

I think they meant Dell Ware, a specific computer type. We had a Dell computer once.

I thought Delaware was that famous singer they spoofed in Zootopia.

[dear-ao3]

gazelle??

[king-finnigan]

oh i thought delaware was that one british singer lady, you know, the one from chasing pavements

[dear-ao3]

that's fucking adele

[metamelonisle]

isn’t delaware that place you go when you die

[shirtshawaiian]

youre thinking of superhell and all of you are going there

[totalrosalia]

how the fuck did any of you come to the conclusions you all made

[dear-ao3]

we live in america?

[vigilantsycamore]

I thought Delaware was that food delivery service that keeps interrupting youtube videos with their ads when I'm trying to have a good time

[abnormalmind777]

..... are you talking about Doordash???

[destiel-is-canon-what]

Isn't Delawere the name of that one girl in the song that goes "Hey there, Delawere"? She's from NYC or something.

[dear-ao3]

THATS HEY THERE DELILAH

[katherynefromphilly]

Pausing here to point out that op is “dear-AO3″ and now I’m wondering if Delaware fanfic would be categorized as RSF (real state fic) or AU (alternate unitedstates)

[dear-ao3]

stop i do not want to think about this 

[joyflameball]

Isn’t Delaware that SPN ship that exploded the internet

[dear-ao3]

[forensicrodentfool]

Everyone on this post:

[sith-shenanigans]

I love that the “no, that’s [x]” meme is making a comeback here and only here and nobody has any idea what’s going on

[jmercedesd]

Keep up the good work, we can make poor OP have a melt down yet. 

[dear-ao3]

[callme-corpse-septiceye]

Isn't delaware that one brand of pizza that's like "it's not delivery, it's delaware."

[dear-ao3]

[paulblartinum]

isn't delaware the god of the sea

[dear-ao3]

[robbietherat]

Isn't Delaware the name of that guy who painted the Mona Lisa?

[dear-ao3]

[lordechostan]

delaware is that one evil cyborg guy that has a son named Luke and a red laser sword

[kiwikipedia]

Thats Darth Vader. Im pretty sure Delaware is that other red-laser sword guy. You know. The one that stabbed Qui-Gon.

[dear-ao3]

what have i created

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

I usually only reblog older posts, but this definitely deserves to be in every tumblr hall of fame

[ericvilas]

Everyone should be delightfully aware of this post.

Or del-aware, for short.

[velvet-apricots]

But what did Dela wear?

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[smgoetter]

“Lady Tilda and the Dragon”

Or “Mom Knight” which is what I kept calling it for most of the time I worked on this. This was my story for Valor, a fairy tale anthology I was in last year! It’s a really great book, and I’m so glad I got to be a part of it. You can purchase a copy here.

[windforge]

oh my god this made me almost cry for real

[elbeeaz]

[noquitter-deactivated20231102]

this won’t get 1% of the women’s version of this post. 

the world we live in, and people in general don’t care about men. we are pretty much robots who aren’t allowed to show emotion. we’re taught from a young age that boys don’t cry. 

fact is women are sexualised, men are idealised. because men can’t be raped because they’re big and strong right? right? yea, pretty much the idiots view of living. 

[asterixa1313-deactivated2018111]

Always reblog

[testicleexplosiongirl]

Sks support this idea or unfollow me i dont give 3 shits if i loose yall as followers, fuck off if you dont support this

[flamencodiva-deactivated2020081]

you can unfollow me if you think that Men don’t have stigmas against them or get sexualized or are told they have to live up to a standard. 

[jensengirl83]

Women are not the only ones who can be victims of sexual assault! 

[jawritter-deactivated20250327]

Always ALWAYS reblog! This is really close to home for me as most of my followers well know!! Men can be victims just as well as women, and the illusion that ‘Its different for a man because he can defend himself’ is complete and utter bullshit.

[parchmentandpencils]

Istg if anyone ever tells me men can’t be a victim of sexual assualt I will literally block them. Stop stereotyping men.

[ultimatebottom69]

WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT-

[me-a-weirdo]

This is so fucking sad and disgusting.

Crimes are not gendered.

Rape is not gendered.

Feeling negative feelings is not gendered.

Wanting to be heard and helped is not gendered.

Being a human being is not gendered!

Stop bein disgusting and ignorant people and help those who need it!

[vaststudies]

“Women are sexualized, men are idealized” THIS AND THIS!

[adorkably-deactivated20220129]

Rape is rape, regardless of the gender. Without consent, it doesn’t matter what the victim’s gender is — it’s rape and fuck your stigmas if you think otherwise. If you disagree, get the fuck off my blog