Choas Time

Listen I'm just here to scream into the void and see what others have screamed as well

[jacobtheloofah]

Visit Original Link

side note, teaching myself to pronounce that last one felt like learning a new fucking language

[jacobtheloofah]

hey so uh next year will be a decade of dobonhonkeros. how about that shit huh.

[obstinatecondolement]

Happy ten year anniversary of this post.

[teaboot]

Hi man! Geniune question. I think I saw one of your posts talking about being aro and like as an aro person myself I wanted to ask how do you work on accepting yourself for how you are? Like idk mb you've got some tips or life philosophies for that specific thing. I'm kinda struggling with this at the moment, would appreciate some advice. If you do find a desire to share thanks in advance

Man, that's a difficult question. I'm not even sure I have a concrete answer, just *my* answer?

The thing is... yeah, I'm not immune to being lonely. All my friends and family and coworkers and everyone seems to have a partner, and I... don't. And I envy that, a little. They get to wake up next to someone, and sit quietly with someone, and *know* someone- and not just surface-level stuff, but... hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, likes and dislikes. Behaviours and patterns, habits, preferences.

And I KNOW it's not perfect, nothing ever is, but it's that mutual support and understanding I can only imagine must be... satisfying, I guess. Having someone you know you're improving life for, who doesn't need you to live, but for some reason or another prefers to live with your proximity like it's some kind of luxury one might enjoy experiencing.

I want those things. But for a lot of people- most of the world- those things mean other things too, like "having sex" and "being married" and "producing children", "splitting one bedroom", "having a partner at all", and all kinds of other stuff I don't especially need, want, or think about.

So like... I try to imagine what the perfect "standard" partnership or relationship or whatever would be for ME, if I just woke up one day and had one. And it doesn't have those things. So I figure, you know. *Why* I feel this way doesn't really matter, right? Whether I was born like this or not, or if it's normal or not, or if I COULD put up with those things for the sake of having the good parts I DO want.... it doesn't matter, kind of?

It's just another boundary, or limit, or preference, like any other deal breaker. Like refusing to date someone who chain-smokes or having a severe dog allergy or something.

I'm not a freak, or a "cold fish", or broken or anything. It's just that the ideal partner/s for ME is someone/s who *also* wants what I want. My ideal relationship is someone or someoneS who are okay with never fucking, or maybe not living together, or maybe nobody at all, and if I happen to make a friend or meet a person who is perfect in every OTHER area but that, then it isn't that it's my fault- it's that we weren't *actually* a good match to begin with. They were a ten, but they chain-smoked. They were a ten, but they wanted a dog really bad. They were a ten, but I couldn't deal with them chewing with their mouth open all the time.

So when I boil everything down, I don't ACTUALLY wish I could experience a powerful singular romance the way everyone else does- I just want strong relationships, people I trust, emotional intimacy, and cohabitation.

And there's no reason why I can't HAVE those things exactly the way I am.

Do I feel like I'm missing out sometimes? That it would be easier to develop these relationships if I was the same as the majority? Sure I do. That's just a numbers game. Bigger ocean means more fish.

But I also know that a traditional experience isn't what I WANT, and it wouldn't make me happy.

And if the point is to find people who you can be happy with, why wish for that?

At this point, wishing I enjoyed traditional romance or traditional sex is like wishing I enjoyed the taste of dirt so I could enjoy the experience of eating dirt, when I could just... not eat dirt?

Lke. I already don't eat dirt

There are already so many things I like eating that AREN'T dirt

Seems pretty straightforward

[teaboot]

Hi man! Geniune question. I think I saw one of your posts talking about being aro and like as an aro person myself I wanted to ask how do you work on accepting yourself for how you are? Like idk mb you've got some tips or life philosophies for that specific thing. I'm kinda struggling with this at the moment, would appreciate some advice. If you do find a desire to share thanks in advance

Man, that's a difficult question. I'm not even sure I have a concrete answer, just *my* answer?

The thing is... yeah, I'm not immune to being lonely. All my friends and family and coworkers and everyone seems to have a partner, and I... don't. And I envy that, a little. They get to wake up next to someone, and sit quietly with someone, and *know* someone- and not just surface-level stuff, but... hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, likes and dislikes. Behaviours and patterns, habits, preferences.

And I KNOW it's not perfect, nothing ever is, but it's that mutual support and understanding I can only imagine must be... satisfying, I guess. Having someone you know you're improving life for, who doesn't need you to live, but for some reason or another prefers to live with your proximity like it's some kind of luxury one might enjoy experiencing.

I want those things. But for a lot of people- most of the world- those things mean other things too, like "having sex" and "being married" and "producing children", "splitting one bedroom", "having a partner at all", and all kinds of other stuff I don't especially need, want, or think about.

So like... I try to imagine what the perfect "standard" partnership or relationship or whatever would be for ME, if I just woke up one day and had one. And it doesn't have those things. So I figure, you know. *Why* I feel this way doesn't really matter, right? Whether I was born like this or not, or if it's normal or not, or if I COULD put up with those things for the sake of having the good parts I DO want.... it doesn't matter, kind of?

It's just another boundary, or limit, or preference, like any other deal breaker. Like refusing to date someone who chain-smokes or having a severe dog allergy or something.

I'm not a freak, or a "cold fish", or broken or anything. It's just that the ideal partner/s for ME is someone/s who *also* wants what I want. My ideal relationship is someone or someoneS who are okay with never fucking, or maybe not living together, or maybe nobody at all, and if I happen to make a friend or meet a person who is perfect in every OTHER area but that, then it isn't that it's my fault- it's that we weren't *actually* a good match to begin with. They were a ten, but they chain-smoked. They were a ten, but they wanted a dog really bad. They were a ten, but I couldn't deal with them chewing with their mouth open all the time.

So when I boil everything down, I don't ACTUALLY wish I could experience a powerful singular romance the way everyone else does- I just want strong relationships, people I trust, emotional intimacy, and cohabitation.

And there's no reason why I can't HAVE those things exactly the way I am.

Do I feel like I'm missing out sometimes? That it would be easier to develop these relationships if I was the same as the majority? Sure I do. That's just a numbers game. Bigger ocean means more fish.

But I also know that a traditional experience isn't what I WANT, and it wouldn't make me happy.

And if the point is to find people who you can be happy with, why wish for that?

At this point, wishing I enjoyed traditional romance or traditional sex is like wishing I enjoyed the taste of dirt so I could enjoy the experience of eating dirt, when I could just... not eat dirt?

Lke. I already don't eat dirt

There are already so many things I like eating that AREN'T dirt

Seems pretty straightforward

[bogleech]

I know it's unfair vilification and stuff but it's also a lot of fun to see old media and stuff where people were SO scared of big animals like lions, sharks, crocodiles and wolves were fully expected to just come and eat you the moment you stepped into their territory. In older media we also made that assumption about gorillas and in still older we thought it'd be whales. But some animals that will actually fuck you up got left behind. Boars will kill you and eat you. They're way more likely to do so than any of those other things actually. Hippos, obviously, got off like bandits always being depicted as cute and dopey. And then there's the squids. Not giant kraken size squids. The eight foot squids that hunt in packs and will fuck you up if you fall in the water at night. I can't BELIEVE people slept on that. It's like all they cared about were the huge deep sea ones we never see. The medium size wolf pack squids were right there.

[bogleech]

Oh some of you don't know about the squids. I talked about them in another thread that went kinda viral somewhere or other but one of the reasons you should not swim in the open ocean at night in many parts of the world is that the water starts teeming with these:

And as you can see it is not like instant death, they too are just animals and they are often just gently curious about the presence of humans! But people who study and dive with sharks will tell you you're safe as long as you stay calm and know what you're doing. The world's leading professional night divers and experts on these squids, specifically??? Stress in every interview and article and paper they write in that you simply do not fuck around with these squids. They know what they're doing and they still all have at least one story of being attacked, in some cases having to be hospitalized. Considering just how rarely anybody puts themselves in the pitch dark nighttime ocean on purpose, let alone during a squid feeding frenzy, it sounds like they're quite a bit more likely to consider you potential food than other marine predators. We also don't know how many fatal attacks might have ever happened, because what humboldt squid like to do with large prey is just drag it away into the darkness forever. The two worst attacks ever proven involved two or three squid at a time latching on to a diver (in BOTH cases they were professionals and knew the risk!) and jetting straight downward with enough force that both divers suffered injury from the sudden pressure change alone, including burst eardrums, nearly passed out and they probably would have died if they hadn't broken free. In general, people who die drowning in the dark open ocean are either never found, or they're found in pieces picked over by enough scavengers that the precise cause of death can only be narrowed down to "the sea." But now you know ONE of "the sea's" possible murder weapons :)

There's a short section on Humboldt squid in Wikipedia's entry for Cephalopod attacks on humans:

Cephalopod attack - Wikipedia

And if you can get past some of Animal Planet's hokey presentation style, this video includes a bit of interview with one of those professional experts who still got nearly squidded from existence:

There is of course some debate about all this, with some arguing that all proven documented attacks occurred on people with reflective diving equipment, which they say the squid must have mistaken for the shine of fish. However, there are lots and lots of people who have to fish around these squids to survive, who do not have access to that kind of equipment, and also have a consensus that if you fall in the water when big squids are out hunting you might disappear without a trace or perhaps just get your head bitten open. With many modern science guys agreeing with this sentiment, this is one case where the "they're just misunderstood sea friends" crowd is kind of outnumbered. The sea at night is theirs and not ours is all. It's not ours during the day either but since we are neither marine nor nocturnal animals we are double fools in the eyes of the squids, which by the way are these eyes:

No for real:

[my-ants-are-anxious]

Absolutely! Also, the Humboldt squid will hunt in packs, sometimes with one flashing brightly to draw attention while the others approach in near unseeable camoflage!

[bogleech]

Beautiful footage of the nefarious sea demons also :)

Also because I can't reblog every addition together:

Okay where's the other 1199

[spiralshellsreblogs]

I absolutely adore Humboldt squid. I saw a doc once where a scientist was cage diving to study them, and one of the squid squeezed it's entire massive body through the cage bars, bit the guy and squeezed right back out.

[bogleech]

Why isnt this an animal that's already long gone viral like honey badgers once did. This is the animal that actually gives no fucks. People really are just that obsessed with bigger squids I guess? But the bigger ones frankly come across as big softies in comparison. One big sea monster can never be as intimidating as a thousand coordinated man sized sea monsters.

This is why I thought that if mermaids had a cultural equivalent to lycanthropy it'd be weresquids. Fun fact nocturnal marine life increases activity on the brightest nights ie the full moon.

[lasrina]

This is all fascinating but I'm reblogging it exclusively for the phrase "got nearly squidded from existence."

[officerhaughtstuff]

You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........

now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020

[heterokatedison]

is it too early or can we start screaming now

[heterokatedison]

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

[jorolle]

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[tlirsgender]

When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"

[tlirsgender]

[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]

Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post

[tlirsgender]

Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda

[tlirsgender]

Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider

[tlirsgender]

Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[tlirsgender]

Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[headspace-hotel]

My version of "doomscrolling" nowadays is just going to iNaturalist, browsing pictures of animals and fantasizing about where I would introduce them outside of their natural range if I was some kind of ecology-focused evil scientist. I do this when I'm depressed. I don't know if it helps.

[i-love-hyenas]

Bring hyena to Texas put Texas in hyena paws humans can trust Texas to hyena pack yesss

[headspace-hotel]

How could I disagree with such a trustworthy source

[chekhovs-raygun]

animals i really want to introduce to the USA:

-red pandas in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. they can live in those you-pick orchards and delight tourists, and in the winter the big ones can be harvested by the farmers for food and fur. america also has native bamboo, as well as plenty of escaped invasives.

-koalas in southern california. we already have a lot of feral eucalpytus in the state and it makes our wildfires way worse. let's put koalas in there too. coyotes can hunt them like dingos do.

-cheetahs in colorodo, wyoming, nebraska, and oklahoma. we had cheetahs here once, that's why pronghorns are so fast. let's give them something to really haul ass about.

-spotted hyenas in texas and new mexico. did you know there's actually a shit ton of oryx already roaming around new mexico? they were brought in for a game preserve. oryx can fight off lions, but spotted hyenas are actually superior pack hunters with some of the highest kill rates of large cooperative predators in the world. we might have a problem with ranchers, but like: fuck ranchers. they already decimated the mexican wolf populations. they deserve hyenas.

-pangolins. i would drop these guys in arizona honestly. everyone in arizona hates and fears fire ants. i think entire neighborhoods would throw ecstatic parades for pangolins (which smell much better than giant anteaters) at least until a pangolin dug straight through their pasteboard condo.

-new zealand's little penguin in louisiana. they burrow into mud and sand banks during the day and tolerate quite hot temperatures! i think they'd do fine, and louisiana is sliding into the gulf anyway. let's have penguins there. i'd also try them out in new england in case lousiana is just too swampy for them. i feel like new yorkers would go insane with pride over having penguins around. they would act like they invented the whole concept of penguins. we should let them.

-water buffalo. georgia and the carolinas. i just think it would give everyone there some interesting new problems.

-i firmly believe that asiatic elephants would do great in the southeastern united states. it's a subtropical climate that's only going to get swampier as things heat up, and there's plenty of kudzu and tall grass species for them to munch on. they're also smart enough to learn to navigate and negotiate with people, and to follow set routes around human farms rather than tromp through them, so disruption to existing human infrastructure would be minimal but occasionally hilarious. i think it would be so cool to have an american subspecies of elephant. if i ever win the lottery this IS what i am going to be doing with my millions.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Animals I would introduce to each continent:

Europe: Wombat

We've had enough of your fucking rabbits and foxes. Here, have a huge badger type thing that can destroy cars with its arse. It'll outcompete your badgers and where will you be then. Haha.

Asia: Wombat

We've had enough of Indian camels ruining our deserts. Here's something to ruin your terrain for a change.

North America: Wombat

We've had enough of United States tourists with no manners. Here's some tourists with even less manners.

South America: Wombat

WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR FUCKING CANE TOADS. WOMBATS FOR YOU.

Africa: Wombat

The feral ostriches aren't actually all that much of a problem right now, but in revenge for the problem they will probably become in the future, have some fucking wombats.

Antarctica: Wombat

I'll take it right back home and warm it up I promise I. I just really want to see a wombat walk and dig in the snow.

Australia: Wombat

The populations of all three species of wombat are dangerously low.

[hollowedskin]

Let This Man Undermine Your House

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#HOW FUCKING BIG ARE WOMBATS?????? I THOUGHT THEY WERE SMALL#They are so cute though

Nothing in Australia is the size you think it's going to be

[sroloc--elbisivni]

i am aware they are different marsupials but i DID think of this post when I found out there are roughly 500 wallabies loose on the Isle of Man.

[spinostarz]

i really like that pictures of anteaters swimming look like someone tried to recreate the loch ness monster on a budget like

[psych-is-the-name]

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[jewishbarbies]

so christopher nolan drilled into an active historical site to rig a scene, dumped a bunch of plastic skeletons into the ocean with no plan to fish them out, and ruined an actual Viking ship on loan from sweden and refuses to pay for damages. all for that garbage movie.

[jewishbarbies]

Owner of Viking ship used in The Odyssey says studio has not paid bill for damage

Swedish nonprofit alleges cost to repair replica was $6,000 but Universal – which made $264m on film’s opening weekend – has not stumped up

Concerns about prop disposal as filming on new Nolan film comes to a close | www.italianinsider.it

looking for a news outlet to pick up the archeologist drama over this but you can google the practical effects used for the cyclops and find the pictures pretty easily

[jewishbarbies]

Nolan’s "The Odyssey" Has a Colonialism Problem

Despite Morocco’s hopes that its film industry would reap rewards, the blockbuster’s success will be tainted by controversy surrounding film

and it gets even worse

[rob-by]

The pathologization of anger needs to be talked about. What do you mean my therapist is telling me that there’s something “chemically wrong” with me because I am still angry about my mom DYING OF COVID.

of course I’m still angry? My mom and 1.3 million other Americans are dead and you want me to shoot sunshine out of my ass about it?

[rob-by]

“But It’s been 3 years since she died, you have complex grief” yeah and she was on a ventilator for 11 days and she kept writing “I am scared” and “I don’t want to die” on a notepad over and over again. While you were still going out unmasked and unvaccinated and coughing all over each other, I was living a nightmare I couldn’t fucking wake up from. And every single day I’m reminded of it in the form of “haha wasn’t the pandemic such a wacky time haha” and “I’m not getting a booster you can’t make me 🤪 (nobody asked)” and “it’s not real they made the numbers up!!!”

“You’re not coping” Ok here’s the deal; I’ll stop feeling this anger when we have a national memorial (we don’t) or a cdc equipped to stop it from happening again (we don’t) or a population that takes a deadly disease seriously BEFORE it effects them personally (WE DON’T!)

until then, I’m pretty sure my anger is A COMPLETELY NORMAL HUMAN REACTION given the facts at hand

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

[lakevida]

[thequeeninyellowlace]

[theodysseyofhomer]

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[strinak]

oh, you meant they literally did, ok

[theodysseyofhomer]

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

[polyphemusthecylcops]

...

[theodysseyofhomer]

this is the only funny addition to this post

[valtsv]

i just know there was a weird little girl in the middle ages out there stealing snake's eggs and putting them in her family's chicken coop in the hope of hatching a basilisk

[valtsv]

god i love the internet because if i said shit like this to people irl they'd probably just stare at me blankly but when i post it online everyone in the notes reacts like this

[tainbocuailnge]

honestly christianity really hit the jackpot with "jesus christ" rolling off the tongue as an expletive so well. the number one problem with fantasy settings is that whatever names you come up with to take in vain will never hit as well as "jesus christ"

[tainbocuailnge]

this guy gets it!!!!! this is the kind of rock solid phonetic structural integrity you have to compete with!!!! and no amount of marika's tits or thal's balls or odin's beards will ever get close because with ol jeezy boy his name alone has all the features you need

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[play-detectives]

okay but the formula to Create an expletive with a similar effect is RIGHT THERE let me show you: [post-alveolar affricate like 'j' or 'ch', or a plosive like 'k' 'g' 'p' 'b' 'd' 't'] + [vowel] + [sibilant fricative like 's' 'z' 'sh' 'zh'] + [vowel] + [another sibilant fricative, could be the same as before or not] [plosive] + [liquid consonant like 'l' or 'r'] + [vowel] + [another sibilant fricative, could be the same as before or not] + [a voiceless plosive or affricate like 't' or 'ch' or you could get fancy with it and try an ejective affricate]

you could toss in some extra 'l' 'r' 'n' or 'm' sounds for variety too and i don't think it would disrupt the rhythm too much e.g. chozaz glazht bashish driskx' puzzlus dretch

[happyk44]

[ID: Tags from @spr0utsies: #it's the like. 2 fricatives in a row in jesus getting snapped with the hard /k/ sound in christ #then the stop of the /t/ doesn't let it hang #it's easy to say fast and short enough to roll off the tongue #it's a good expletive!! /end ID]

[crafblr]

btw I’ve found these stretches from the WAK blog very helpful when knitting a lot:

Plus make sure to take breaks regularly - and stop if anything starts to hurt!

especially with gift knitting I know it can be tempting to push through it for a deadline, but it’s really not worth causing long term injury. (And anyone knit-worthy should be understanding of that, imho.) Stay well :)

[gingersnappish]

Also good for artists drawing with pencils/on a tablet/with a pen!

[not-poignant]

Also good for writers

[adorkastock]

Make art, take care!

[captain-price-returns]

[noneedtofearorhope]

before trump and the creation of ANTIFA as a boogeyman, the fbi listed animal liberation and 'eco-terrorism' as the number 1 domestic terror threat.