look at him bark!

bi | she/her | filipino

[freakoutgirl]

Someone: Hollanov from the special edition of the Heated Rivalry books isn't real and can't hurt you

Hollanov from the special edition of the Heated Rivalry books:

[dogwoodbite]

(guy who doesnt even like dating) ok well does anyone want to get entranced by my whole deal or no.

[shanebug]

i think it would be fun writing alive eccentric boymum irina who feels threatened by shane esp bc ilya kept something from her (shock!) for so many years... oooh... like she has this attitude of "i know my son sleeps around but it's because none of these women are good enough for him to commit to, i know, he tells me everything, i am always going to be the main woman in his life" and then it turns out not only has ilya been keeping this massive secret from her for years but he's suddenly VERY committed and to a man? and you know boy mums have weird ideas about gender so it really throws her off like oh my god. i didnt plan for this. i have all this internalised misogyny and now i cant direct it at my son's partner as planned.

and also she's threatened by the hollanders in general bc they are more functional than the rozanovs and she feels judged by them and worried that ilya loves them more than her... and maybe yuna and david DO judge her a bit especially before they know about her history (in this au she left grigori) and struggles but also i cant see them making that obvious

i think ilya and shane are so happy to organise a dinner where irina and the hollanders meet and it's a bit weirdly tense and ilya kinda has his eyes opened to some things about his mother that he thought were normal. and shane doesn't tell ilya this but next time he's alone with his parents he's like "okay just say it" and maybe yuna says something like "you know we love ilya but well meeting his mother well it makes some things about him make sense" and shane's like "how could you say that" but inside he's like "well they have a point" not that he'd ever admit that to anyone

also i like to imagine svetlana meeting shane and when they're alone for a minute being like "ilya is my family and i love irina but she did spend years convinced i was coming between her and her son. even when ilya and i weren't fucking. and we were 13. good luck."

i love some realistic family drama it must be said

[sheikahfication]

You must jerk off and cry to absolve all of your sin

[montrealmetros]

ilya's emotionally avoidant attempt at sliding past the boyfriend conversation by just slipping it in mid-shane's panic attack and shane not letting him by immediately making him clarify his feelings makes me laugh every time

[escapistcatontheinternet]

.

[mtfoss]

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

[luxwing]

Lemme get a little sippy

[bisexualadamparrish]

saw this post & blacked out for 30 minutes & came back to awareness having had created this. the creative urge overtook me.

[graceebooks]

the long game

shane: so all you’re gonna do is be a loser and smoke weed with your friends

ilya: at least i’m not stealing the prime milf hunting years of a beautiful bisexual

[ticklefighthockey]

skip divorce where for various reasons scott hunter ends up crashing on shane and ilya’s couch after the public intoxication charges… on the couch because ilya won’t let him sleep in the guest room (he wants to turn him out of the house) and this was their compromise. he and shane keep having whispered fights about it in the kitchen while scott is morosely watching tv in the living room with the volume on full blast while secretly nipping whiskey out of a flask he’s been cunningly concealing between the couch cushions. shane is like he’s a fucking mess ilya, it’s actually embarrassing and pretty bad PR like he’s kind of making all gay hockey players look bad, isn’t it better to let him stay for a few days out of the public eye, and ilya is like that prehistoric barely alive intoxicated dinosaur is going to try to FUCK my beautiful HUSBAND I’ve already SEEN him making sad wet eyes at you hoping you’ll find him pathetic enough to hook up with, and shane [secretly preening] is like oh my god ilya don’t be ridiculous he just got divorced he doesn’t want to have sex with me!!, and scott hunter who just lurched into the kitchen unheard behind them and is a flask and a half deep at this point is like soooo [hiccup] what’s up with you guys anyway. like is your marriage basically open or— and then ilya tries to kill him.

[doechiimp3]

ilyas big fat crush on yuna let's talk about it

[doechiimp3]

have 2 believe that ilya hanging out at her house all the time leads to at least a few times where shes in a robe and straight out of the shower w wet hair and her face is a little pink and damp from the steam and she beelines for the couch bc she CANNOT miss shane's face off and ilya is sitting there wrapped in three blankets with a pint of cookies n cream trying to not look at her directly and Yuna is literally smelling soooooo good and Ilya is texting Shane furiously WHERE IS YOUR DAD?? and Shane's like "I'm about to blow up Scott Hunter's walker and this is what ur texting me?? Ugh" and then ilya swipes to his thread with svetlana and says "as a belated half birthday present to you I will tell you one true thing about jane" and sveta immediately responds "ok yay let me think" and Ilya says "no this is not a fucking q&a session I am telling you his mom is so hot and I am alone with her and I am panicking" and sveta says "ILYUSHA!!!!!!!!! PICK UP PICK UP PICK UP" and Ilya blocks her for the evening

[mopeyopie]

car problems in venezuela…

[throwupgirl]

i have to say it was really bold and innovative for maggie stiefvater to say. in my YA romance series centered around a dark prophecy of a girl being destined to kill her true love. the girl and her true love will actually end up being in a throuple with another guy who has absolutely fuckall to do with the prophecy. who without warning just sort of showed up when no one asked him to one day. sat in between them. and very seriously said. scoot over. i love yall.

[johnbottoms]

anybody rmbr when this was the whole of the dream thieves (2013) by maggie stiefvater

[stringcage]

If trb were girls Adam would be like 'god I hate how Gansey can get away with wearing no makeup and still look glamorous even though she could afford all the best products, not like me I need to use this drug store shit on my face just to slightly keep up and so people will treat me with respect' and Gansey would be like 'if I didn't have all these expectations upon me to be the perfect daughter and the perfect classmate and the perfect girl I would be able to just express myself like how Adam does I love Adam her eyeliner is so cool I want to be cool like Adam'. And Ronan would be like 'eyeliner tastes so sexy let me chew on this liquid liner pen and pretend I'm licking it off their eyelids'

[robobee]

niche henryronan ragebaiting

[escapistcatontheinternet]

don't worry we'll both find out but not together is such a good line im so happy that hop along repeated it 100x in the song

[heinousier-bitch]

Strong contender for most depressing thing Charlie Brown has ever said