parker likes watching found footage horror movies and eliot ends up being the one who watches them with her, initially by default because hardison is too much of a fraidy-pants (affectionate) to watch them, but then it turns out he likes them, especially the slow burn ones where everything’s just a liiiiiitle bit off until shit suddenly hits the fan. something about the build and then the abrupt shock of it—it’s a fun little rush. also he likes messing with parker while they watch. they watch phoenix forgotten and parker’s like ha-ha this isn’t real, and eliot’s like oh no, the phoenix lights were real. i was in arizona when it happened, saw ’em myself (yes it was a real phenomenon but his ass did not see them). parker immediately goes on an internet deep dive. they put on noroi: the curse and parker’s like this is totally fake right, this would never happen, and eliot says i dunno, park, i’ve been around some of those japanese shrines at night… weird stuff can happen. and parker’s like eliot. eliot you’re lying. you’re lying right?? right????? and eliot’s walking to the kitchen to wash out their empty popcorn bowls like huh?? sorry, sweetheart, can’t hear ya (he’s grinning to himself like the goddamn cheshire cat. he still remembers most of his japanese, and he’s pretty sure he can still write it too… maybe he’ll make a little note about ectoplasmic worms that he can leave on the fridge for parker to find tomorrow)
(meanwhile hardison has locked himself in his office with a fan going and also some background music, neither of which he can even hear bc he’s got his noise-cancelling headphones on and pokopia turned the hell UP, because he is NOT gonna catch a single word of any of that evil that’s happening in the living room, no way no how. and then when it’s time for bed he also demands extra cuddles and kisses AND a cozy story bc he has been through the fright of his LIFE and as such he needs to be soothed (eliot: hardison you didn’t even hear anything. i shouted your name as a test and i didn’t get a peep in response. hardison: yeah, well. that’s just ’cause i was too scared to speak. now tell me the story about the very happy unicorn again because you invited this demonic presence into our sacred home and now you must cleanse it. eliot: you’re joking. hardison: do i look like i’m joking????? eliot, after a long, long-suffering sigh, because he knows hardison won’t fall asleep unless he does this: goddammit. fine. once upon a time, there was a very happy unicorn who lived in a very magical forest, and in that forest, everything was wonderful and perfect and sparkling… (parker is honk-shoo mimimi snoring away in the background)))
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
jbbartram-illu
germansingergirl
