I'm Going To Be A What?!!!
Jaune: *Drinking a cup of tea while looking at a sunset* What a beautiful day.
Ruby: I have to tell you something important.
Jaune: What is it? *Drinks his tea*
Ruby: You're going to be a dad!
Jaune: *Chokes* Ack-ack. What??!!!!
Jaune: Yang, I swear it wasn't my idea! Please do not kill me!
Yang: Of course I'm not going to kill you. After all...
Yang: ...you are the father of our child.
Weiss: Jaune, I have to talk to you.
Jaune: Weiss?! If it's about Ruby and Yang, I swear I don't know how it happened!
Weiss: What? I didn't come here to talk to you about that.
Jaune: Seriously? Then for what?
Weiss: I want to talk about this.
Weiss: I hope you are ready to take responsibility, dad.
Blake: Sorry Jaune but I have to talk to you.
Jaune: I'm sorry, Blake, but right now is not a good time. I'm going to be a dad with three different women!!!
Blake: You're going to dad with four different women.
Jaune: What are you-? Oh no, don't tell me that...
Blake: You're going to be dad.
Jaune: What the fuck?!!! What the hell is going on?!!
Winter: What's going on here?!!
Winter: Hello Weiss, can you tell me what's going on?
Weiss: Well, we're talking to the future father of our children.
Winter: Father? *Looks around* Jaune?!
Winter: It is not necessary, after all I came to talk to you about the same subject.
Winter: Jaune, you are going to be a father.
Ruby: Well, when a man and a woman love each other too much they decide-
Yang: Jeez, Daddy is a little grumpy
Jaune: Shut up!! I don't understand, how can I be a dad with all of you?!!
Penny: Oh hi friend Ruby. Have you seen Jaune by any chance?
Blake: You are standing on him.
Jaune: *crush* You are to heavy
Penny: *Moves away* I'm sorry.
Jaune: It's fine. *Gets up* Why are you looking for me?
Penny: *Smiling* Yes, I have great news! You're going to be a daddy!!
Jaune: Wait a minute?! Do you at least know what sex is?!!!
Penny: Of course. Sex is when the man inserts his pen-
Jaune: OK! I get it, you know about it!
They all turn to see Emerald.
Emerald: I didn't want to interrupt you guys, but I think this is the best time to say this. Jaune....
Emerald: I guess we weren't very careful.
Ruby: You slept with the enemy?!!!!
Emerald: *Sad* So the night you spent with me was nothing special?
Yang: Oh, that's not cool Jaune, not cool at all.
Jaune: I really don't know how this happened!
Weiss: Don't worry Emerald, we support you.
Winter: We make sure that our Jaune takes responsibility for the baby.
Cinder: *Traps Jaune in a ring of fire* I won't let you get away this time!!
Jaune: Help!! She wants to kill me!!!
Cinder: kill you? I don't want to kill you. I want you to take responsibility!!!
Jaune: Responsibility for what??!!!
Weiss: You fucked Cinder??!!!
Ruby: Jaune, how could you?!!
Jaune: For the last time, I don't know!!!
Cinder: I hope you're ready for what's to come, daddy.
Jaune: I need to get out of here!!! *Runs but trips over an umbrella* Ouch!!
Jaune looks back to see what tripped him up and sees Neo standing in front of him.
Cinder: Good job Neo, now bring him to me.
Neo: "I'm sorry, but I have some business to settle with him😁"
Neo: "You told me you used a condom😡"
Blake: Three bad girls? Ok that's super hot~
Weiss: Jaune, are you going to say something?
Yang: Yeah, aren't you going to yell or say a funny comment?
Jaune: I'm sorry, but at this point I think I can no longer be surprised.
Salem: *Evil voice* Are you sure about that?
Everybody gets ready to fight
Salem: Relax, I didn't come to fight. I just came to spend time with my new family.
Salem: Exactly, right.... *looks at Jaune*
--------------------------
Jaune: *Wakes up* AAAAAAH!!!!!
He looks around and realizes that he is in his room, safe and sound.
Jaune: That's it, this is the last time I drink those natural juices that Ren makes! *Goes back to sleep*
It's that spooky time of the year. And what better way to celebrate it than with a small nightmare.
baratheonpilled
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2087
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