Receiving a Wertherâs Derivative from my poser grandma
cherry valley forever
ojovivo

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Not today Justin

blake kathryn
đȘŒ

oozey mess

â
Keni
$LAYYYTER
Today's Document
Cosmic Funnies

tannertan36

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KIROKAZE
Claire Keane

Kaledo Art
Monterey Bay Aquarium

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
i don't do bad sauce passes

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@existentialhamster
Receiving a Wertherâs Derivative from my poser grandma
"preheat"? dude i dont even HEAT my oven. thats right. im cooking my shit coldstyle. im stretching the definition of "cooking" far beyond its ultimate tensile strength. my chicken breasts are the most gorgeous pink color you've ever seen. they look like rosebuds on the very cusp of blooming. they look like the dawn when you're in love. hospital.
twitter is hell but i really hope it doesnât actually die because this is in contention for the funniest thing iâve ever read in my life
proper way to worship the outsider
NO THANKS IâM FROM MASSACHUSETTS
ă25 Livesă by Tongari (àČ)
wow, this is absolutely gorgeous.
this makes me feel really, really, really sad
imagine a horror movie where youâre trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers
so youâre running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off
out of all my 3:00 AM ramblings you guys decide to make this one popular
World Heritage post
ITâS BACK! I LOVE THIS VIDEO SO MUCH
when i saw this i couldnât believe it didnât have music
Wizardry.
baby bunnies sleeping in glasses
#unclear if steve is turned on by bondage or honesty  (via @resistancepilots)
Hi! I was in Grand Central Terminal recently and when I saw a stall in the dining concourse called Hale and Hearty (it looks like they sell mostly soups and salads) my first thought was of your wonderful au's. Dont know if this is exactly your jam but I thought it might be interesting!
Derekâs phone buzzes two months after heâs left Beacon Hills. Well, letâs be honest, itâs buzzed before then because Cora has his number and also thereâs those damn telemarketers these days and also Deaton has checked in and Lydia once and Derek never meant to do a dramatic âdisappear into the wilderness and never talk to anyone againâ so there have been buzzes. The ones from Deaton and Lydia and even the Beacon Hills library bring pressure and anxiety and a sort of nameless terror so he doesnât enjoy them but he always answers the buzzes. He has to. He knows that.Â
And this particular buzz makes him look down and read Stilesâ name.
His heart sort of lurches but he doesnât hesitate to open it.Â
Itâs a text. A picture of what looks like a stall in an underground mall--Grand Central if heâs not mistaken (and heâs not, he did live in New York for years)-- with bold, proud lettering declaring it âHale and Heartyâ.
A moment later, another text:Â Is this you?Â
And then another: lol. soups. knew you were a big softy.
And then cause its Stiles:Â your tomato is not very good. do better.
Derek rolls his eyes. Thatâs obviously not my business, Stiles.
Not for long. Youâre gonna go under if you canât even get tomato soup right.
Derek changes the subject. Sometimes with Stiles, thatâs the only way. What are you doing in New York?
Visiting colleges. Big fun. TTYL. Fix your soup.
Derek doesnât bother responding, but he doesnât feel bad about it. Stiles had all but said it was okay and the knot in his stomach eases and... okay, that wasnât that bad. He can do that.
So I watched BumblebeeâŠ
âŠ
The jeep was bright blue and the most obnoxious vehicle Derek had ever seen, but it was perfect. It was a 1980 CJ5 and once the list of defects was read aloud, he was the only bidder so he got it for next to nothing. Not that the price couldâve kept him from buying it, because Laura had a thing for jeeps.Â
Specifically older jeeps, none of that Cherokee or Sahara or SUV kind of modelsâshe liked Jeeps. And she also liked to rant about shoddy craftsmanship of modern models and how they werenât really jeeps⊠Derek usually tuned her out by the time she got to the wave hierarchy.
For someone who didnât actually own a jeep and never actually had, she really liked jeeps.
And she would really like this one.
There was the expected wear of a vehicle over thirty years old and some body damage from an accident; the leather seat was ripped, and it looked like there was a scorch mark near the driverâs side door, a sizable dent in the passenger side. Aside from that, it seemed as though the jeep was relatively well taken care of, until it ended up in a county abandoned vehicle auction.
It would definitely take some work, and heâd probably have to replace everything under the hood, but it was worth it to see Laura happy and excited.
It had been a long time since she was happy and excited.
Now he just had to get it home to get it fixed up, without it breaking down on the side of the road. And despite the fact that he was going to have to fix every part of it in some way, that seemed like the much greater challenge at the moment.
The jeep lurched violently as he shifted, and he struggled briefly to get it into gear. That was where he could really feel the age of the car; he never had any difficulty shifting in his Camaro.
âClutch, dude.â
He slammed on the brakes and the jeep swerved violently to the side of the empty highway. Derek twisted around in his seat to threaten whoever the hell stowed away in the back seat, eyes glowing and furiousâÂ
But the back seat was empty.
There were no other heartbeats, no muffled breathing, and the trunk was far too small for anyone to fit into, even if they did somehow manage to conceal the sounds of a living, breathing person.
âFirst clutch, then gasâseriously have you never driven stick?â
That time the voice came from the other direction, and he turned back towards the front.
The radio was off, his phone was in his pocketâŠ
âOh, and thereâs a weird kind of delay? So wait a second before the gas or it stalls, and you gotta put some muscle into it.â
Derek did as the disembodied voice instructed and the car jerkily started forward again.
So the jeep was haunted. Cool.
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Easily my favourite youtube comment ever.
Turkish Oil Wrestling
Jesus take the wheel
I do so enjoy it every time these pictures grace my dashboard again.
I think about this every day