Well Well Well

This is a blog has been moved to smolsickficwriter.tumblr.com!

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

So I really need to get back to writing oc sickfic asap but for now... true story time:

So this guy that I’m really good friends with who I was thinking may have ulterior motives (i. e. wanting to have sexual relations with me, who’s ace).  I’ve been kind of wanting to tell him I’m ace for a while but I’m super awkward and didn’t know how without sounding presumptuous or random.  But then, the other night, we got back from hanging with friends at 2 am.  Then talked until 4 am (he knows I’m an insomniac, but he’s not, so I’m always shocked when we talk that late).

Anyway, at some point he goes (in the most polite way possible because that’s just how he is) “I don’t mean to pry, but do you, by any chance, see yourself as asexual?”

Um.  Okay.  

So I was totally caught off guard and was just like “uh, yeah, actually, I do.”  Because: how did he even know about asexuality, for one?  It’s a pretty under-the-radar, from what I’ve seen.  As far as I know he’s straight.  He’s also very religious, and not that being a straight Christian guy means you’re ignorant of LGBTQ+ by any means, but, like, it makes it less likely.  And he’s a guy.  Which makes it all the more surprising to me because the only people I know who know about asexuality are girls.

And then the whole other question of: how did he guess I was ace?

We had talked a bit about kissing and how I don’t really see the appeal of it, but for him (normally a very cautious person who doesn’t say what he thinks unless he’s really pretty sure he’s right) to actually go out on a limb and ask...  I don’t know, do I give off strong “ace vibes” or something???  Is that a thing?

Anyway.  Sorry for the huge block of text that is not sickfic or related to this blog at all, really.  I just needed to tell people somewhere.  I’m actually really happy, because now I know he doesn’t have those ulterior motives.  It’s just not something I ever expected to happen.

[gaynikiforov]

Reblog if you're LGBTQA+ and watch Yuri!!! On Ice

Just wondering

[feelingsick]

Keep reading

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

@feelingsick  I feel you, friend.

[extrasad]

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

[martinawrites]

this need to be on everyone’s blog

[sleepybambi]

this makes me think..

[janoskipornhub-deactivated20150]

God bless whoever wrote this.

[ioanaslovesongs]

im crying

[phanscuddles]

I never usually reblog things like this.. but if it saves just one persons life… please take thime to read this even if you think there is no point in living. Please.

[sent-imental]

please please PLEASE reblog this

[transparent-miracle-deactivated]

Reblog and help a friend

[shitposting-tomato]

This isn’t related to my blog but please read this. It is so important, please red this and if you are suicidal, please talk to me. I know what it’s like. This post is so true and heartbreaking, and anyone thinking about suicide needs to see this

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

#bless

[theslaybymic]

this is so great. fuck toxic masculinity. we need something like this stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually

[coffeecatsandhealth-blog]

Stop conceptions of toxic masculinity. We’re all human and we all deserve the right to feel.

[feelingsick]

Because today is TDOR

I just wanted to give a shoutout to all my trans and nonbinary followers. Stay strong. Never, ever get used to violence. We deserve better. 

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

Eek, okay, maybe I didn’t explain this very well.  So I don’t even know if I have a crush on him in the first place.  I don’t know how to judge that kind of thing when it’s not my first impression.  And then, I don’t know if he has a crush on me.  I have no idea.  As it is, I really like hanging out with him, he’s really great to talk to, and going on walks with him is one of the few things that helped me sleep better cause it helped me clear my head (up until the point where one of my friends said, “hey, maybe he likes you” and now it no longer helps).  So now I’m stuck second guessing his motives without any really solid foundation for doing so.

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

i’m a lost cause, please help me

Okay, so my life has been in chaos mode for the past three weeks or so due to work and school and other things.  The “other things” have recently started to dominate, and I honestly don’t know how to deal, so I wanted to see if anyone here has any advice on the matter.  There’s more to this, but to save you some time, I’m going to try to keep it short.

First, there are a couple things you need to know about me.  

1.  I am extremely asexual and sex-repulsed.  In the past I have been romantically attracted to males.

2.  I do not trust guys for various reasons , and I haven’t had a guy-friend in a very long time.

3.  Even though I used to get crushes on them when I was younger, I haven’t gotten one in a long time.  Like 3+ years.  So there’s that.

Now the situation at hand:  I cannot tell if I have a crush on a guy.

It’s one of my co-workers, and I really didn’t like him at first, but he’s totally grown on me.  And I cannot tell if he likes me.  And it’s stressing me out because I don’t want to lead him on if I’m not interested?  And I don’t want to assume things if he only wants to be my friend?  And if we’re interested in each other, how does my being ace affect that?  And he’s religious and I’m not, so one of my concerns is that the attention he’s been giving me recently isn’t because he is romantically interested in me or even that he wants to be friends, but because he wants to convert me.  Unfortunately, I already trust him an unusual amount, so if anything happens, I’m going to  be destroyed.  So yeah, I don’t know what’s going on, and it’s making my life really stressful.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?  Any advice?

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

luv your drawings! how old r the characters in them?

Ahh, thank you!  Oh yeah, the way I draw people always makes them look younger than they actually are.  Cam and Shy are supposed to be 17-18 here (Shy looks like a baby, I know, but 1. I don’t know how to draw and 2. he acts like a baby when sick no matter how old he actually is, so it’s fine) and Austin is 19 in that one.

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

Poor child. Since he's one of my faves I torture him the most >.< 

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

Aaaaand he cries.  In fact, he’s sobbing so hard that he makes a bigger mess by shaking the barf bowl.

Part 1 Part 2

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

Shy freaking out because he made a mess.

Part 1 Part 3

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

Another crappy drawing, because I need to procrastinate somehow.  Here’s Shy.

Part 2 Part 3

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

5

That’s Charlie!  She’s actually Austin’s best friend and romantic interest.

-what makes them sick/nauseous:  she has panic attacks sometimes that make her nauseous but she won’t allow herself to throw up.  she does catch bugs pretty often because she has a rough home life so her house is always dirty and her parents never take care of her.  she sometimes gets migraines bad enough to make her sick.

-how easily they get sick: not easily at all.  she’s got a great immune system.

-what’s the sickest they’ve ever been:  food poisoning.  she got so dehydrated she passed out.  she didn’t tell anyone, but Austin found her and took care of her until she got better.

-do they have any allergies: no

-how often they get hurt:  way more often than she should.

WARNING: potential trigger below the cut

-how they tend to get hurt:  her mom is physically abusive, so that’s usually what it is.  she sometimes upsets people to the point where people would like to fight her (she has a lot of pent up anger and is pretty tactless), but Austin’s always there to protect her and he’s happy to be the one to take the punch.

-what’s the worst they’ve been hurt/worst pain they’ve ever felt:  her mom beats on her pretty bad.  she’s had a lot of broken bones.  i think the worst would be when she got a really severe concussion?

-how they act when sick:  very lethargic, sleeps a lot, hides because she doesn’t want anyone to know she’s sick.

-how they act when injured:  tries to hide it.  she doesn’t cry, and she’ll do whatever she can not to make any noise at all, but 

-what’s the first tell that something is wrong with them:  she gets more secretive than normal, makes less witty comments than normal, and wears long sleeves and long pants to cover injuries.  she’ll wear sweatshirts if she’s running a fever which is unusual because normally the cold doesn’t bother her and if it does she’ll wear a jacket (Austin’s jacket) if she isn’t sick, but she doesn’t want to contaminate the jacket if she is sick.  not sure which of these would be the “first” tell, as they usually all kind of happen at the same time.

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

So I don’t have a clue how to draw but I try anyway…  Did this one during class.  It’s Cam, my smol child.

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

oh yeah.  i took a pic for y’all if you’re interested:

Keep reading

[sickandvomiting]

I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS LAST NIGHT. Like, this needs to be a prompt or a fic or something. Where a character is suddenly feeling very ill, and all they have access to is a cup. Or perhaps, they are trying to drink something to calm heir stomach, but that turns out being a very bad idea.

[fallingintothewellwellwell]

hahaha that’s awesome.  right tho???  it worked out alright for me lol XD