[Based on speculation from folks in my discord that Bucky already knew what Steve intended in Endgame: ]
Steve looks at him hopefully, and itās almost more of a plea than an invitation. Bucky could go back with him to 1945, back to the end of the war, and live out the life he was supposed to, if heād never fallen from that damn train car. He could take Myrtle Thorton out dancing like heād promised, and be the best man as Steveās wedding to Agent Carter. He could see his ma and his sisters again, and watch Beccaās kids grow upā¦Ā
Itās a nice picture. A real nice one, and he wants to say yes, butā¦
The man heās becomeās not a man who can fit into that life anymore. Not like Steve can. Steve hasnāt changed at his core, even after most of a century; heās more tired now, grief etched into his face, but somewhere in there Bucky can see the same stuboorn, good-hearted kid from Brooklyn heās always been ā the same guy Carter mustāve fallen for, before Steve ever got turned into Captain America.Ā
If Bucky went back however, heād be a stranger. His soul is stained in blood that wonāt wash out any time soon, and his armās an impossible oddity heād either have to sacrifice or try to conceal for the rest of his life. Not to mention his memories are so disjointed in time, heās frankly terrified heās lose what coherency heās fought for, to know when and where he is.Ā
So instead, he says ānah,ā ā reaching out and clapping a hand to Steveās shoulder. He can feel his chest clenching painfully with the knowledge heāll probably never see him again, but does his best to ignore it. āYou go on. You donāt need a third wheel seducing your girl away from you."Ā
He aims for a crooked grin ā the sort of expression the old Bucky would have worn ā but itās ill-fitting. Like someone elseās boots.
Steve looks at him sadly, then reaches out and pulls him into a fierce hug. "Iāll miss you,ā he says into Buckyās collar, voice gruff.
"Same, punk,ā Bucky murmurs, squeezing him back and letting himself enjoy the sheer strength of Steveās embrace for a second before forcing himself to let go. It hurts ā but itās better this way. Bucky canāt fit back into that life. The best he can do is keep moving forward. After allā¦ thereās a lot in this world now for him to discover.Ā Ā
āIāll tell the goats you say hi,ā he adds, blinking away the heat in his eyes.
Steve laughs softly, glancing down. "Where do you think youāll go?ā he asks. And of course, heās still worrying about Bucky, even as heās about to go sprinting off through space and time.Ā
Bucky smiles again, and this time it comes easier. āSame place Iāve always wanted,ā he answers. At Steveās confused expression, he reaches out and gives his shoulder a gentle, playful punch, calling back the same words heād said at the start of it all, the last time theyād had to say goodbye:
