simply here

Ashlyn | 28 | she/her | 🩷💜💙

[lvmimis]

tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you

[chronocrump]

[jaypilled]

are those my only options

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[cinewhore-deactivated20211003]

[thememedaddy]

[valtsv]

unfortunately i can never hate on a "power of friendship" narrative no matter how corny because the thing is it's literally real

[angelic-ivy]

me: [writing something] shoot... what's this woman's pronouns?

stenographer: well her bio says she/her...

me: better play it safe anyway [writes "it"]

the ghost of marie curie: [appears out of thin air] ivy... you're the first person to ever correctly gender me in a hundred and eighty-two years. from the bottom of my cold dead heart, thank you.

me: [dies of radiation poisoning]

stenographer: [dies of radiation poisoning]

[angelic-ivy]

favorite tags. bulliness you get it. also someone tagged this post #rpf which i think is so fuckin funny. like yeah. i guess. i guess it is.

[suigintou]

my apologies to the lovely lady who had only just begun constructing her beautiful spiderweb in the immediate path of the side door this morning when i, in my self-centered desire to vacate my home of assorted household refuse, came oafishly barging through the sum of her efforts. i shall meditate upon my actions and how they harmed not just her, but all women of the world, and endeavour to do better

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[disgustinggf]

thoughts on women?

yeah always

[sesamie]

"family function"...? i didn't know it could do that

[cuppydogshane]

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

[hortensius-deactivated20240909]

the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable

[mawofthemagnetar]

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

[i-am-a-lazy-mess]

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

[i-am-a-fish]

don't be mean to yourself that's you

[i-am-a-fish]

you live there