Lionel Boyce as CARL Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller
will byers stan first human second

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cherry valley forever

oozey mess
KIROKAZE

Andulka
Mike Driver
trying on a metaphor

Kaledo Art

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Game of Thrones Daily

★
Misplaced Lens Cap

Love Begins
dirt enthusiast
Acquired Stardust
Today's Document
Cosmic Funnies
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Stranger Things

seen from United States
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@fennekfox
Lionel Boyce as CARL Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*
*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god
*thunderous slam dunk noise*
Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"
More from the notes:
I love this post
The horse thinks as it scratches an itch
I really like how the scientology speedrunning trend is developing, in this clip we see that the participants are
Not deterred by the closed door
Working as a group
Protecting their identities
Inflicting material costs to the institution via property destruction
Getting away at the end
These ideas were not all here from the beginning. They are genuinely gaining experience that can be applied elsewhere
The church of scientology is on tumblr and they are sending me anon asks telling me that they can't even commit to reporting a post
@commodityproduction
I'm afraid it's hopeless
real paramedic x golden retriever firefighter AU energy with this
no flirting I just stare at you like I’m awake during surgery
this job market is a fucking nightmare
my mind palace is not up to code
hey you should ask your doctor about MAOIs. my SSRIs weren’t working so we tried those (i’m on nardil) and it did wonders for my mental health. just saying as a suggestion because based on the fact that you put the fucking onceler on my dashboard in 2022 the meds you take right now don’t work
WHAT
do not unfollow me. one day i will be your 30 year old mutual
Humanity has finally reached the stars and found out why no one had contacted us. The universe is in a sad state. As such, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross, and many othe charities go intergalactic.
The thing the recruiters don’t tell you about space battles is that you die slowly.
Ships don’t blow up cleanly in flashes and sparks. Oh, if you’re in the engine room, you’ll probably die instantly, but away from that? In the computer core, or the communications hub? You just lose power. And have to sit, air going stale and room slowly cooling, while you wait to find out if the battle is won or lost.
If it’s lost, nobody comes for you.
It had been about half a day (that’s a Raithar day, probably a bit shorter than yours) and Kvala and I were pretty sure we had lost. Kvala was injured, Traav and I were dehydrated and exhausted, and Louv was dead, hit by shrapnel when the conduits blew.
Most fleets give you something, of course. For Raithari, it’s essence of windgrass. I looked at the vial.
“It’s too soon,” Traav said.
Kvala gestured negation, shakily. She had been burned when conduits blew, and her feathers were charred, and her leftmost eye was bubbly and blind now. Even if we were rescued, she probably wouldn’t survive. “You know we’re losing the war.”
They couldn’t deny that. “It doesn’t mean we lost the battle.”
“Doesn’t it? The Chreee have better technology. Better resources. And they have their warrior code. They don’t care if they die.”
“We can’t give up!” Traav protested. They were young, a young and reckless thar who had listened to a recruiting officer and still believed scraps of what they had been told. “Any heartbeat now—”
There was a clunk. Something had docked with our fragment of the ship.
“You see?!” Traav crowed triumphantly.
Kvala exchanged glances with me. The Chreee never bothered to hunt down survivors. What was the point, after all?
The Aushkune did.
There weren’t supposed to be Aushkune here. They were supposed to hide in nebulas.
But if there were—
If there were, we were too late. The windgrass couldn’t possibly destroy our nervous systems in time to stop the corpse-reviving implants, and once you were implanted, it was over—or it would never be over, depending on how you looked at it and whether Aushkune drones were aware of anything—
Footsteps.
Bipedal. The Aushkune were supposed to be bipedal.
And then the blast door opened, and a figure stood in it. My first thought was, robot? That’s almost worse than Aushkune . . . But no, it was a being in some sort of suit.
Who wore suits?
“Friendly contact,” the suit’s sound system blared, as the being moved over to Kvala. “Urgent treatment. Evacuation.”
“Who are you?” Kvala struggled upright.
Despite the primitive suit, the blocky being was using up-to-date medical scanners. “Low frequency right angle shape,” it explained—or maybe didn’t explain. Two more figures came into the room and put Kvala firmly onto a stretcher.
“You’re with the Chreee, aren’t you?” Kvala was not at all happy to be on a stretcher.
“Not Chreee,” the sound system said. “You Man. Soil Starship Nichols.” The being hesitated. “Rescue Chreee as well. On ship. Will separate.”
“You what?” I said faintly. Who would do that?
“Oath,” the being explained.
“What kind of oath? To what deity?”
The shoulders of the being moved up and down. “Several different. Also none. For me, none. Just—oath.”
I exchanged glances with Traav, who looked as unsettled as I was. I had never, ever heard of groups cooperating when they couldn’t even swear to or by the same power.
The being scanned me. “Have water,” it said. “Recommend.”
Raithari have fast metabolisms. I could—would—die of thirst quickly, and painfully.
“Where will you take us,” Traav asked, “after you give us water?”
“Raithari to Raithar. Chreee to Chreeeholm.”
“Chreeeholm would kill them for failing,” Traav remarked.
The being hesitated, and then said, “War news sometimes bad. Sometimes lie.”
We had learned long ago not to believe the recruiting officers, but what did that have to do with anything?
“And you—what?” I asked. “Just fly around looking for battles and rescuing victims?”
The being seemed to consider this. “Best invention of soil,” it said finally.
Most of what it was saying didn’t make any sense. Did it worship soil? But it had said that it had sworn to no deity . . .
Madness.
On the other hand—war was a deliberate, rational act by deliberate, rational people, and I wanted no more of it. So why not embrace madness and see what happened?
“Soil Starship—Rrikkol?” I asked, stumbling over the word.
“Yes. Soil Starship Nichols.”
I followed the being in the suit.
Took me well over a minute to realize "low frequency right angle shape" was Red Cross.
This whole thing is brilliant with translation stuff.
Random thing for people to consider is that since Laika is the saint of one way trips should Felicette be known as the saint of safe landings since she did make it back to the ground safely
🥘 stillstainless following
full dishwasher kind of annoying actually. release me
🔲 tupperware follow
can we all agree that handwash onlys are attention seeking? you're using the same dish soap as the rest of us but you need a sponge bath because you're too good for a shower
🍳 cast-iron following
op some people will die if they're washed with soap at all. unlike certain plastic divas dishes that claim to be "top row only" like that makes a fucking difference.
🔲 tupperware follow
can you actually fuck off
🥣 countercandy mutuals
fav thing to hold
fruit
vegetables
keys
candy
soup
something else/not a bowl
☕ mug-shots follow
i love being on the top row like you are NOTTT using me for coffee LMAOO
🐾 dogbowl follow
dusty ass
🍴silverwarewolf following
all tucked in. in my drawer. with my polycule <3
#and these takeout chopsticks too i guess #ok
🥡 lunchb0x follow
Excited for summer break 😃 Can't wait to see what kinds of mold i'll collect this year
#ForgottenAgain #BackpackGang #LockerGang
🔁cast-iron following
anonymous asked: Why are you whining about how other dishes like to be washed when you're literally covered in spaghetti stains
tupperware answered: what if i killed myself
🥤 papercup mutuals
WASP IN ME
Wouldn’t leave my mind sorry