Water Guns Filled With Lemon Juice

(previously called I Honestly Don't Care by me years ago when I was sleep deprived and decided to return to Tumblr)

[stargazers-satellite]

my partner said something that kinda rocked my world

[jenny-ratmeal]

Babe are you OK? You reblogged "even if you get worse".

[jessaerys]

i love when you read/watch an influential piece of storytelling and you're like ohhhhhh ok i see. so everyone else was copying this guy's homework

[userfpurteen]

aw

[aorish-deactivated20251222]

Recent discourse reminds me of that cult indoctrination trick that's often used to weed out more difficult marks early on, where they tell you all that you aren't allowed to eat rice on Tuesdays and then if you protest they go "wow SOMEBODY likes rice a little much huh" as if you're the fucking weirdo who cares too much about how much rice is consumed between Monday and Wednesday instead of them.

And this forces you to decide whether your autonomy matters to you more than the approval of the group - while they'll still act like you're on thin ice either way, if you give in at this point they know you're theirs forever, because now they've established a foothold, you've shown a moral weakness, which they will brand you with so it can be used against you in the future ("hey RICE-addict here doesn't want help break into the city records office") to force you to double-down and isolate you further.

And if instead you do decide to push back further, after your abrupt departure from the group ("You're seriously leaving us over RICE?!? Seriously?") and subsequent ostracism, you can then be used as a demonstration to the others who were more pliable, of how the outgroup is full of people like you who are obsessed with violating the No-Tuesday-Rice rule to the point where they'll abandon all their friends, who cared so much for them, so it clearly isn't an arbitrary restriction, you're the kind of monster these rules are intended to protect them from, thus all the other wise and esoteric precepts of the charismatic leader are implied to be equally justified.

[doomhamster]

This isn't just for cults either! Shitty partners, bosses, friends - they all do variants of this where if you kick back the first time they make an unreasonable request, it proves you weren't ever committed since you'd let such a small thing ruin everything. And of course, if it's the third or the tenth unreasonable thing they ask of you, it's SUCH A SMALL THING to be a deal-breaker at this late point in your relationship!

[quasi-normalcy]

Reverse Mulan about a young man who disguises himself as a noblewoman and has to learn how to do passive-agressive politicking at dinner parties.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

He does so to dodge the draft

[bloodiegawz]

well at least im not 11 or 12 or 13 or 14 or 15 or 16 or 17 or 18 or one of those awful years

[johnathandarksouls]

Fie, I remember my teen years, t’was when I was a squire. Terrible thing those years. I am Johnathan Darksouls

[bloodiegawz]

i know you always have my back johnathan darksouls

[depsidase]

[quelmdn]

Impressionable mind 🥄🐇 (2020)

[ririohlily]

bunhe is thinking of becoming bunhe…

[roaches-inthecereal]

[uwuinhell]

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[hairspraywhore]

>no idea what a tumblr accent even is

>”oozes off of me like a thick miasma”

[psych-is-the-name]

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

[owa-tagoo-siam]

[spectre-squared]

@evilwizard

[reptile-ruler]

Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine

[reptile-ruler]

"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."

[harpieisthecarpie]

we've all heard about the male gaze in media, but we've yet to explore the equally important sommelier gaze

[reptile-ruler]

the only fun addition to this post

[msmimundo]

Girl that's literally Perry the platypus and Heinz Doofenshmirtz

[strangerconnection]

i should be allowed to psychically project all my agonies onto people who try to minimize my disabilities. oh yeah, "its not that hard"? watch this

[funnytwittertweets]

[thenightgaunt]

I ran an Aliens rpg years back. But the players didn't KNOW it was an Aliens game until halfway through the first session.

They thought it was a sci-fi game but they also thought the monsters were going to be zombies.

Over a period of 2 hours they then proceeded to make EVERY Aliens movie cliche "mistake" known to man. Because at the time they all made sense.

The characters in a story don't know they're in a story or what kind of story it is.

They might think their in a romcom instead of a slasher movie. And if you're not in a slasher movie, why the fuck would you search through every closet in your house just because a cup mysteriously fell off a table in the dining room?

[teawitch]

Characters in a murder mystery should have some fairly good clues they're in a murder mystery.

Though admittedly at least one character doesn't find out in time.

[crabussy]

need everyone to know that the artist who created this iconic artwork:

is STILL creating wolf art TO THIS DAY. TEN YEARS LATER. proof that the world is beautiful. her username is wolfroad! you can find her art right here, and here are a few of her more recent pieces that I absolutely adore:

[crabussy]

checked her page today and I think this might be because of everyone who saw this post and went to support her and show her art some love. the power of spotlighting an artist!! if you know an underappreciated artist, telling people about them could mean the world. [:

[thebelfry]

I just learned that the Russian word for “ladybug” translates to “God’s Little Cow”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

It’s the same in Irish! bóín Dé!

[peniswizard69]

in hebrew it’s “our rabbi moses’s cow”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Oh I love this news!!!!

[pulmonary-poultry]

Multiple cultures upon seeing a ladybug for the first time: “Who’s cow is this????”

[thejonymyster]

[thejonymyster]

[thejonymyster]

[postilionstruckbylightning]

It feels like some early humans were naming things and one of them ran out of ideas.

Human 1: (points at animal) What’s that?

Human 2: Cow.

Human 1: (points at bug) What’s that?

Human 2: … little cow.

Human 1: But it’s so much smaller. Who would have use for such a small cow?

Human 2: (panicking but in too deep to stop now) God.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

The “Lady” in the name “ladybug” is the virgin Mary. People just cannot stop giving religious names to this bug.

The reason for this was that if you lived in an agrarian society then your survival was a throw of the dice every year, depending on the success of the crops. A failed crop year is a very hard year where deaths are expected. And if you grew a cereal like wheat, there were several things that could cause your crops to fail, but one of the big ones was if you happened to get a fuckton of aphids. You know what eats aphids? Ladybugs! If there are lots and lots of ladybugs around, there was a good chance that it’d be a good crop year! They were little crop protectors! When your family lives or dies on the success of that crop, of course they’d be seen as a blessing and given an appropriate name!

[magical-bear-dubin]

That is such an interesting etymology!!!!

And entomology too i guess

[asparklethatisblue]

in German they’re Marienkäfer which also pretty much means “Mary’s Beetle”

[istadris]

In French it’s “Good Lord’s Beast”

Not even a cow, it’s just a little Creature but we know for sure God loves it.

[dent-de-l1on]

In Dutch it’s “Lieveheersbeestje”, the Good Lord’s Little Beast

A liddol creeture

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me