Fine, It's Minions

[quasi-normalcy]

It's important to drink a lot of fluids when you're sick so that your body has the raw materials to generate gallons of snot.

[viridianmasquerade]

[archivalcamel]

I learned recently that mucus basically traps the viruses and expels them from your body which is why your body makes SO MUCH of it so now I just imagine drinking liquids as hiring a bunch of goons to take out the thrash y'see nyeehh see we taking back the streets from the bowler hat boys flush em out real good

[myothertardisisonthemun]

Perhaps there are many problems which could be solved if you just made enough mucus

[idontunderstandjelly]

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you are solving problems by generating enough mucus

[greatwyrmgold]

I think I'm causing problems by generating too much mucus.

[powersandplanetaries]

Listen, being sick is the one time when Big Drink is actually 100% justified. Take advantage.

[heppileppi]

not only would they win a gift card but also a mug

[heppileppi]

follow up

[panelshowsource]

🤝

[godlessondheimite]

I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.

[godlessondheimite]

Virgin Millennial Daughter with 20 hrs of screentime a day: Dad! They’re scamming you! Dad! Stop! They will take your savings and your identity! Hang up before they SWAT you!

Chad Boomer dad with a flip phone he has not recharged since 2014: Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder.

[shipburner]

I haven't actively used this site in years but this grabbed my imagination so thoroughly I had to draw it

[the-real-seebs]

wow that really is calvin's dad energy

[pearls-gone-wild]

Some very important facts in my life right now:

I'm currently visiting NYC with my kidlets, aged 8 and 10.

We are staying about three blocks away from the Empire State Building.

There is currently a giant inflatable dragon wrapped around the Empire State Building.

Kidlets are delighted by the dragon.

Kidlets are rather more delighted by the dragon than might be expected.

Yes, you might say, it's a dragon wrapped around a famous skyscraper, where's the surprise in that?

No surprise.

It's just that they're extremely excited.

They're reading Terry Pratchett 's Guards! Guards!

A book that features a giant dragon swooping off the tallest tower in the great city of Anhk Morpork.

They are quoting the book constantly

"The shape that looked like a large pair of wings unfurling was, in fact, a large pair of wings unfurling."

All the time

"Dragons don’t have friends! The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive!"

Little girls, wandering through the tourist attractions of midtown Manhattan, like

"A people united can never be ignited!"

With such enthusiasm

"This is going to be the world's first democratically killed dragon! One man, one stab!

I love them so much, I'm so proud, I picked the right partner, we made the best possible kids

(It's a promo for HBO's Game of Thrones: House of the Dragon)

[dimity-lawn]

Parenting done right.

[thod-thod]

@discworld-heritage-posts

[discworld-heritage-posts]

Discworld Heritage Post

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

[animentality]

me.

[the-rainbow-of-doom]

To give more context: The reviewer was Jean Lorrain, who also was gay. Both showed up to the duel and both missed on purpose.

[stardusted-cirby]

gay people can never just ask each other out

[hemi-demi]

I can't prove it, but this is canon.

[my-midlife-crisis]

[posttexasstressdisorder]

I approve this message.

[probablybadrpgideas]

If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants? The answer is they should be.

[20thcenturyvole]

Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.

[weaselle]

That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name. And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals - now you have to do us a favor. And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?” and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever. And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”

[drackir]

This is the best explanation for higher powers I’ve ever really heard.

[memewhore]

[nb-marceline]

(full article here)

[vanyamired]

[lesbianboyfriend]

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

[jeejyboard]

i thinkit would be cool if there was an omegaverse but for salmon instead of wolves. Like when the time comes certain members of society get really juicy musclewise and get yiffy fangs and are suddenly compelled to return to the neighborhood they grew up in and 96 hours later show up barefoot in full starvation mode and ravaged by walking through interstate traffic to fuck whoevwr smells the best in the local burger king. Then afterwards they die and disintegrate to be eaten by seagulls in the parking lot

[jeejyboard]

omega-3verse

[broadacre]

Snoop Dogg watching the Skateboarding finals with an unidentified man

[ofgoodstars]

[sirfrogsworth]

This is frustrating.

I love the comparison, but I hate how they are comparing.

They are acting like she is using optics to give herself an advantage. But the device she is wearing is just for comfort and essentially does the same thing as closing one eye and squinting the other.

The little thing over the left eye is basically like an eye patch.

And the thing over her right eye is a mechanical iris, like in a camera lens, but it is NOT a lens.

Different lighting environments are going to be brighter or darker and you may have to squint more or less to let in the same amount of light into your eye. Squinting allows the shooter to get the sharpest possible vision in order to shoot a bullseye the size of a 12-point Times New Roman period.

But if you have to squint for hours for practice and in competition, this can strain your face muscles and become uncomfortable. So this iris basically squints for you.

It's more like wearing comfortable shoes so your feet do not hurt than a lens magnifying the target and giving an advantage.

Both athletes have access to these items. One felt more comfortable without them. The other didn't feel like getting a muscle cramp from squinting all day.

Either would have shot the same if they had or had not used these devices.

Just a funny difference in gear preference.

I should also add, the Turkish dad is the only one using lenses.

[sirfrogsworth]

I'd just like to add that Kim Yeji may look like a cool cyborg badass, but she and the Turkish dad only won silver.

The gold medal winner in the women's air pistol finals was adorable and a bit overshadowed.

Oh Ye-jin, who is only 19, won gold and set an Olympic record with her final score.

Kim Yeji is her mentor and seems very supportive of her.

Also, Oh Ye-jin added a little heart to the barrel blocking thingie.

I mean, it's like she got lost at summer camp and just wandered into the Olympics to win gold.

I think she deserves some attention too.

[thefrogman]

When I was watching the competition I kept wondering why they never showed the actual target as it was being shot. On the broadcast they just show a graphic of the target.

And then the commentator said the bullseye was literally the size of a period—smaller than the actual pellets they are shooting. And that the entire target was the size of a coin.

They'd have to set up a macro lens next to every target for you to see them.

Pretty much every shot lands within the 3 inner circles. And if you hit the 3rd circle your shot is basically garbage. Like you'd see the shooters grimace and do an angry little foot stomp if they hit it there.

Like, if you get a 7 you might as well go home.

And the best shot possible is a 10.9—which would be hitting as close to the bullseye as can be measured.

This was Oh Ye-jin's final gold medal winning shot.

A 10.6!

It's absolutely bonkers how precise these shooters are.

I mean... look at this period...

.

Now imagine trying to shoot it from 30 feet away.

I don't think my old ass could even see the damned thing.

[alexaloraetheris]

Thank you for the context, my nearsighted ass did NOT know this.

[jb-blunk]

sometimes you find a reusable tupperwear in the back of your fridge that. well. you could wash but. goodbye. Remember the real problem is Taylor swift .

[aleatoryw]

sorry to hijack your joke op but if the container is plastic and the food has more than a few little spots - ie, you forgot this container a month ago rather than a few days - you should throw it away anyway as the mold in question could still linger in the tiny scratches and dents in your container. your health is more important than reusing one tupperware. if you find yourself consistently forgetting (hello my beautiful angels with adhd), consider investing in some glass storage containers! they have a non-porous and smooth surface that makes them much easier and safer to clean. I got a bunch of pyrex for Christmas a few years ago and it's very nice to not have to worry about mold, smells, stains, etc.