Got to witness the best little bit of drama while grabbing coffee from the McDonalds drivethru this morning.Ā
This is one of those McDonalds that splits the drivethru into two lanes, left and right. The idea being that you order then alternate merge into the same lane to pay and pick up food.Ā
I get there and they're pretty busy, but its moving fairly quickly. I pull pull up behind this older convertible sports car of some make, canopy top frayed around the edges. Can't see the driver, but the he's placed himself kind of in the middle before the lanes force you to split up, obviously trying to jump in whatever lane moves first so he can go through faster. I think a lot of people do this and most of the time it doesn't matter so I just kind of pull up behind him but way more on his left so its obvious I'm gonna be going left.Ā
I wait for just a minute and then *two* other cars pull up, but these two go to the right of me *and* pull up on the right side of the Convertible in front of me. They're now set so they'll go into the right lane, because there are two of them, they'll force Convertible to go into the left, no matter which one moves first.
Convertible guy *loses* it. All his windows down and you can hear him swearing up a storm and just being furious that the guy now on his right "cut in line" is "rude and selfish" "can't follow rules" etc.Ā
This goes on, and as the line moves forward, the right side does move first. This places the guy on the right (who I am going to refer to as Cafeteria guy, which will make sense later) ahead of Convertible, who continues to shout insults and outrage at Cafeteria. Somehow both of them actually manage to place orders before Convertible goes back to yelling at Cafeteria guy, who is now in front of him.Ā
Cafeteria guy also has had his windows down, but has just been smiling and replying to Convertible in a quiet, calm, amused voice I couldn't hear.Ā
There's a certain kind of way people who are actually not bothered or worried approach conflict. Like, someone who is looking to start a fight, or people who are just arrogant will get the "shit-eating grin" of knowing they're in the right, but Cafeteria guy's smile is not like that. His is like a Bob Ross smile, the "I've got nowhere specific to be and this is all gonna be just fine" smile.Ā
I can't fully make out a lot of what Convertible guy is yelling, but I do suddenly catch something he says about Cafeteria guy not knowing English and now know that Convertible guy is probably one of *those* people. Which I think Cafeteria guy realizes at the same time. His smile doesn't change but when Convertible guy next says something about Cafeteria guy "probably cutting in line at the airport too," Cafeteria guy says loud enough for me to hear "nah I'm not a Trump supporter." Which really, has nothing to do with what's been talked about so far, but this hits an obvious nerve and Convertible guy kicks it up a notch and now starts yelling that if he ever sees Cafeteria guy again he'll kick Cafeteria guy's fat ass.Ā
At this point the line moves forward again so I've now ordered and am in line just behind Convertible guy. Cafeteria guy has pulled forward and we're all waiting for the line to move. Cafeteria guy finishes putting his wallet or whatever away and pulls up gently but closely behind the person in front of him, opens the door to his car and steps out.Ā
This dude *is not* huge. Neither fat nor super muscular, just a heavyset kinda white older guy wearing a sports jersey and a ballcap. I would have guessed him at maybe 50 or so. That beatific smile hasn't left his face the whole time. His genuine, pleasant, downright friendly attitude has not changed. And he just says "Well, you called me fat. I work in a cafeteria so considering that I think I look pretty good."Ā
No threat or anything but the implication of him being willing to get out of his car in the drive through are clear, and then he does the only vauguely intentionally threatening thing I see him do this whole time and pulls up the short sleeve on his jersey to "look at his fat arm," which is covered in tattoos (I was not close enough to see what they were.)
"I work around guys who speak Spanish all day so I kinda have to know that and English."
Cafeteria guy, still smiling and cheerful says "I'm not bad for a 75 year old Cafeteria guy."Ā
At this point Convertible guy has turned slightly to follow the drive thru, so I can finally see that he is an older white dude, bald, with a mustache, but also like, reedy skinny.Ā
And there's barely half a breath, and Convertible guy just *melts* away from the conflict. *Instantly* he's saying "yeah you're not fat, I'm sorry.Ā
"I haven't eaten yet and need some coffee."Ā
"Its just been a rough morning"Ā
And some other things I didn't catch.Ā
Cafeteria guy remains the *picture* of grace. He barely even acknowledges the problem itself and says "yeah its pretty hot and that bothers everyone. Its tough these days." And just, gets back in his car while wishing Convertible guy a nice day.Ā
Convertible guy gets out a "thank you, have a good day." and, even though he's about to have to talk to the McDonalds clerk to pay in a moment, rolls up all his windows, and visibly hunkers down in his seat.Ā
Cafeteria guy is now my hero. I've never seen a bully crumple that fast, with so little force or effort, but damb was it satisfying to see.Ā



















