your sometime sister now, your queen

and it goes like:

[theriverbeyond]

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

[rozieramati]

70s women’s t-shirt by Ashleigh Brillaint

[only-cat-memes]

[forgwater]

[depsidase]

[phantomrose96]

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

[phantomrose96]

hang on I gotta look something up.

[i-suggest-vore]

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

[phantomrose96]

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on your for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

[nihilnovisubsole]

me explaining goncharov to my mother: so tumblr made up this scorsese crime film and they're arguing about its themes and-

my mother, completely deadpan: well are they reviewing the theatrical release or director's cut.

me:

my mother: what does frances ford coppola think of it

[dancinbutterfly]

Your mother is the only one who understands me

[psshaw]

[lilifred]

everyone's talking about the ibs/autism haha funny comparison thing while I'm still stuck on the concept that hamsters exist in the wild. like naturally

tf do you mean they're a wild creature. you find those ankle-biters at the pet store

[psshaw]

Not a biologist, but the evolution of mammals is way more granular than you might expect. Humans are the sole surviving species of the genus Homo, which was a real party before the other ones went extinct. You're in for a fun time.

Domestic cats are believed to be domesticated not from tigers, but from the African wildcat:

Which evolved to be small just because it's sometimes more useful to be small.

And no, hamsters are not off-brand rats. They're part of the rodent order, which includes beavers, moles, capybaras, guinea pigs (yes, also wild) and lots of other fun things:

[thesecretuncle]

Shit. This dude knows an extreme amount about a niche subject. Crazy what you can accomplish when you have treatment resistant IBS

[psshaw]

I want it on record that I shit mostly normal.

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[thevagueambition]

recently came across some plates and bowls that would be perfect for a children's hospital

[kittydesade]

ONE

SINGLE

JOKE

[digitaldiscipline]

[pocketss]

leave your laundry on the floor for them

[theeelfinnstolemypeanits]

[fandom-man]

[scholarlypidgeot]

@moethh don't hide this in the tags

[2886beaconstreet]

ao3 asking if i want to see mature content. do i want to see birds in the sky. do i want to feel the wind in my hair and the grass under my feet

[phantomrose96]

That thing where milkmaids were often immunized against small pox because they'd already contracted the weaker cow pox earlier in their lives. That's Tumblr, to me, against whatever the hell social media landscape is happening in 2026.

[feldfrog]

Imagine your bike has been at the Wright Brother’s repair shop for weeks and you see Orville suddenly whiz over your head in a contraption

[butchfagminotaur]