Sword asks, Sanders Sides, and other nerdery

Want help with creative endeavours involving swords? Ask me! Current fandom flavour is Sanders Sides, long time interest is classic Star Wars. I'm Jasper01 on AO3.

[friendlyfacestabbing]

Things I have made

here is my Masterpost of all of the things I have written or otherwise brought to life! (still working on hunting down all my fic links, but the jacket posts are up to date)

Sword Jacket posts:  (in which I detail my quest to create a functional swordfighting jacket):

Introduction

Fabric Hunt

Pattern Creation

Supply Run

Objective

IT BEGINS

a short announcement

SCIENCE!!! (the jacket strikes back)

Fabric Sandwich

Assembly

A Shiny Collar

Roman’s Sash

Sash Embroidery Day 1

Sash Embroidery Day 2

Sash Embroidery Day 3

Sash Embroidery Day 4

Gold Trim and Plate Armour

Isolation Sleeves

Swording Asks:

Info Post

single handed sparring

blocking an attack

My Fic:

[under construction]

Renegades AU:

[under construction]

[officialfist]

[ghosttb0y]

“Like what you see~?”

-

Boom! Finally finished @/wedgene ‘s (on Instagram) DTIYS!! I absolutely loved drawing this because of the colors and outfit~ and who wouldn’t love this punk rat man?!!

[greeds]

[janus-lives-in-a-society]

[analogicals]

hey princey.png

[mistergandalf-deactivated201601]

one of my favorite lotr facts is that gondorians speak sindarin as a first language and yet when faramir was talking to frodo and sam about cirith ungol he was like “we don’t know what’s in there.” like faramir. cirith ungol is sindarin for “pass of the spider.” do the math

[mistergandalf-deactivated201601]

some of my favorite tags on this post

[theelvenkingshalls]

Don’t forget that Frodo also speaks Sindarin, which makes this even worse.

Faramir: Hey, don’t go up the Spider Stairs.

Frodo: Why? What’s up the Spider Stairs?

Faramir: We don’t know, Frodo. We just don’t know.

[jumpingjacktrash]

to be fair, you’d assume the name means “there’s a lot of spiders here,” not, “there is one spider the size of a draft horse here.” so you go up expecting to have to shoo a lot of skeeter eaters out of your tent, and instead you have to figure out how to rope and shoe godzillarantula.

[ceescedasticity]

Hmmm…

They do live in a world where godzillarantulas feature prominently in mythology and history (Ungoliant plunged the world into darkness, scared the crap out of Sauron’s old boss, etc) and existed within the last century in Mirkwood. Assuming they ever talk to anyone who’s been to Mirkwood. They… probably know they were giant spiders in Mirkwood pretty recently? It’s hard to figure out how much anyone in Middle-earth has been talking to anyone else when we didn’t actually see it.

On the other hand – what if it’s the giant evil spiders’ prominence in history/mythology that’s causing trouble? What if lots of evil/nasty things/places get called “spider” just to indicate how nasty and evil they are, rather than any association with literal spiders, and it’s just… overloaded? Maybe the bad part of town in Minas Tirith is the Spider District. Maybe every tavern trying to be edgy calls itself the Spiderweb.

Actually spider/Ungoliant references could be really appealing to Gondorians trying to be edgy. They’re dark and evil! Plunged the world into darkness! But they AREN’T involved in the war they’re actually fighting, they aren’t directly associated with Sauron at all, so getting too interested in them would be creepy without being potentially treasonous. Because no one’s ACTUALLY going to worship those dangerous but not epic spiders up in Mirkwood, and no one’s heard anything from any proper spawn of Ungoliant in ages and ages.

In fact, spider/Ungoliant references might be appealing to ORCS trying to express that something is nasty and creepy! Nobody likes Ungoliant.

Maybe Faramir’s been to fourteen different Spider Caves across Ithilien, and half of them he didn’t even see regular spiders in, they’re just dark and damp and may have had orcs at some point, or something, and at some point in history someone got spooked. So you know, it’s POSSIBLE Spider Pass has something to do with spiders? But really it just means people don’t like it.

(The problem with this theory is we never actually SAW anyone overusing spider references. But it’s plausible they would!)

[wordswithkittywitch]

“The average spider on Middle Earth is the size of a dinner plate” is a statistical error. The average spider on Middle Earth is smaller than a coin. Cirith Ungol (lit: Spiders Gorge), which contains a spider larger than a horse, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

[iwilltrytobereasonable]

OH MY GOD

[merhaskell]

I was waiting for the Spiders George reference

[swan2swan]

“I wonder why it’s called ‘’The Spider’s Pass’‘. I expected it to be more octagonal. Like a spider. Oh, well, I guess they misnamed it.” 

[brunhiddensmusings]

im going to give them the benefit of the doubt that they thought ‘the spiders stair’ meant ‘its a bitch to climb if you arent a goat’ and not ‘warning- ungoliants‘ their whole world is full of issues like this- every third place has a spooky ass name that you arent sure if its a euphemism, accurate, or was accurate 3000 years ago. nobody realizes ‘fangorn forest’ means ‘theres a tree named fangorn who lives here, its his forest, he likes poetry’, nobody realizes ‘the barrow downs’ should be warning you that anything is particular noteworthy about the barrows it just says they exist, im not even sure the ‘blue mountains’ are even blue

[eraofstories]

I mean sure but also we don’t need to WONDER if Frodo (and incidentally also Sam, although I don’t think he knows Sindarin so he wouldn’t have known it was relevant, but he would have had the same context as Frodo) knows about the big spiders in mirkwood, because THEY ARE IN BILBO’S BOOK WHICH HE HAS READ

[the-fallen-blue]

literally Spiders Gorge

[spinningorigins]

@the-watchful-metatron

[evertriedsoywithyourpopcorn]

Happy (late) Birthday Janus :D

You deserve a good ol’ break

Keep reading for my other versions:

Keep reading

[reptilian-with-scalli0ns]

Routine

Summary: Logan has a routine that he follows. It’s important to have a good routine.

Word Count: 2200

Read on AO3

cws: shouting and a bit of panicking

_______________________

Things had been in a bit of an… upheaval to say the least, at least in Logan’s mind, but he’d still managed to keep at least himself on schedule, if not anyone else. He even had it printed out so as to take the burden of remembering his routine off of his mind.

Keep reading

[friendlyfacestabbing]

titles of fics I will never write #117: their tongues battled for dominance (or: Remus vs the tongue lollipop. Remus is losing)

[friendlyfacestabbing]

actually have we named the lollipop yet? if that one bit of Thomas’s hair gets a name then I’m pretty sure the lollipop deserves one

[friendlyfacestabbing]

titles of fics I will never write #117: their tongues battled for dominance (or: Remus vs the tongue lollipop. Remus is losing)

[idontcareaboutcanon-deactivated]

😈😈

[bananonbinary]

“oh no we need to practice for our fake dating” is the funniest trope to me cause like. there are so many people who force themselves into a shitty relationship they hate just because of amatonormatiivity that it’s an ingrained part of popular culture to joke about hating your partner.

which is to say, oh my god you dont need to hold hands and go on fake dates, you don’t even need to agree on a single detail of your cover story beforehand. you can literally stand 6 feet apart at all times and look profoundly uncomfortable and all anyone will think is “yikes™. not my problem”

[bananonbinary]

actually people should address this in fanfic more because “i know we could half-ass it, but i would never fake mistreat my fake husband, how dare you” is absolutely delightful

[thekijs]

New trope: fake dating for spite.

“Look, my only goal here is for our pretend relationship to be demonstrably healthier than Aunt Rita and Uncle Carl’s fifteen year, three child marriage - which means the bar is so low we probably can’t fuck this up”

[marechaussee-phantom]

Roman: We should settle this like civilized adults.

Logan: Of course.

Logan: A rap battle.

[pajamasecrets]

Keanu Reeves as Mercutio in an 80′s production of Romeo & Juliet in Toronto.

[itchycoil]

This image did a number on me

[batset]

The battle of the cardboard tubes \o/

[jasontoddiefor]

It’s like there’s a Jedi loose in a Senate building. I think eventually everything’s going to be okay, but I have no idea what’s going to happen next. And neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there’s a Jedi loose in the Senate building. It’s never happened before, no one knows what the Jedi is going to do next, least of all the Jedi.

He’s never been in a Senate before, he’s as confused as you are.

There’s no experts. They try to find experts on the news. They’re like, “We’re joined now by a man that once saw a Mandalorian in the Jedi Temple.”

Get out of here with that shit! We’ve all seen a Mandalorian in the Jedi Temple. This is a Jedi loose in the Senate Building.

When a Jedi is loose in the Senate, you got to stay updated. So all day long you walk around, “What’d the Jedi do?”

The updates, they’re not always bad. Sometimes they’re just odd. It’ll be like, “The Jedi gave his secret wife his lightsaber?” I didn’t know he was allowed to do that.

The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the Jedi at all. You’re down in the Senate hall like, “Hey, has anyone…Has anyone heard–” [imitates lightsaber noises like the actors] Those are those quiet days when people are like, “It looks like the Jedi has finally calmed down.” And then ten seconds later the Jedi is like, “I’m gonna betray my order and join the dark side and bring peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire!”

That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking Sith Lord. And then… then… then you go to brunch with people and they’re like, “There shouldn’t be a Jedi I the Senate.” And it’s like, “We’re well past that.”

Then other people are like, “If there’s gonna be a Jedi in the Senate, I’m going to enslave the wookies.” And those don’t match up at all.