Raging K

I’m in life for the thrills, the adventure, the new experiences.

[saltrat88]

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

y’all think its jokes but the government is Big Mad about this company 

[fuckyouuthatshow]

Good luck watching me now, Chad

[cant-adult-will-fandom-for-free]

That moment when you download Windows 10 on your Windows 98 computer

[dennise-b]

this is literally inhumane 

[z-nogyrop]

this is the equivalent of sea world putting orcas in tiny-ass tanks

[winefemme-deactivated20180607]

Person on the phone: Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?

Me, handing the phone to my cat: It’s for you

[iverbz]

i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out

[dipsetflag-deactivated20141026]

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

[iverbz]

[theseancequeen]

Okay weirdly this exact situation has happened to me. It was summer so I was sleeping naked, but then I heard the lock on the front door being opened. I thought someone was breaking into my house and I had enough time to either grab my sword or my nightgown, not both.

Two things I learned.

One, sometimes apartment complexes will flat out forget to tell you they’re sending someone over from the fire department to check your fire extinguishers.

Two, no matter how bad ass a person thinks they are, a naked person swinging a sword at them will knock them off balance both physically and mentally.

However, the fireman was very nice about it and accepted my apology.

[stephrc79]

didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are

[fuckyouuthatshow]

*FBI Agent assigned to me sweats nervously* Me: That’s right, Chad, I’m coming for you FBI Agent: *Puts tape over camera* *mutters* why’d I get the crazy one?

[sociallyawkwardphantasy]

Same

[moss-flesh]

reblog if youd say yes

[noneeyewithleftyork]

THERE’S A GUY SCALING THE TRUMP TOWER IN NYC WITH GIANT SUCTION CUPS LIKE A MISSION IMPOSSIBLE STUNT AND IM LAUGHING

[noneeyewithleftyork]

UPDATE: OKAY SO police are all over and they sent a window washer platform down from the top of the building but it was too far above him so then sent it back up and police just shattered a window slightly above him to try to get him and now he’s moving away from the hole in the window and continuing up he’s been climbing for like an hour now and they cant figure out how to get him down this is so incredible

[noneeyewithleftyork]

UPDATE: LOOK AT HIM GO

[noneeyewithleftyork]

UPDATE: they just inflated a giant inflatable on 56th street a third of nyc is in gridlock bc of this guy climbing the trump tower i cannOT BELIEVE

[noneeyewithleftyork]

UPDATE: he’s on the 18th floor this so surreal

[noneeyewithleftyork]

UPDATE: we’re approaching hour 2 of the climb and since the last update he’s made it up at least another 3 floors

[noneeyewithleftyork]

UPDATE:  SOMEONE TOOK A PICTURE OF HIM FROM INSIDE THE TOWER

A HERO

[noneeyewithleftyork]

update: apparently his name is steve and he’s from virginia

ASCEND, STEVE

[noneeyewithleftyork]

UPDATE: they just used suction cups to pull two panes of glass into the building a few floors above him

you know what they always say. you cant fight fire with fire, but you should always fight suction cups with suction cups

[noneeyewithleftyork]

UPDATE: HE’S TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THEM STILL IM CRYING WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK IS 2016????

[bardbreakfast]

Anyone got a hot take on Gen Z students at Hogwarts?

[carmen-atcha]

Me, a new professor desperate to connect w the youths: and so expelliarmus will ‘yeet’ the wand right outta their hand

[bardbreakfast]

THIS EXCEEDS ALL EXPECTATIONS. THANK YOU

[notchicken]

Kids are interesting. I’m babysitting a 9 year old boy right now who’s homework is to write a fictional story and he wrote about how in millions of years the sun will expand killing everything and one man fell asleep at the beach and missed all the official announcements about the world ending but he managed to be the only survivor of the solar flares because he applied SPF 100 sunscreen.

[fuckyouuthatshow]

This hit deep. Service members experience so much discomfort for the sake of their country, and so do their families. I respected that enough to enlist, and have no regrets about it. Semper Fi

[fuckyouuthatshow]

New tat 🤘🏻

[just-shower-thoughts]

So I just learned ejaculation comes out at 27mph. That makes it illegal in a School zone.

[cunt-inent]

there are other reasons ejaculation isn’t generally accepted in school zones, but sure

[painfulblisss]

[world-shaker-deactivated2013092]

Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe? 

Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity. 

Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens. 

[couragemadnessfriendshiplove]

Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL

[eisbecherovka-deactivated201604]

OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY

[binbou-kun]

Oh my God so I typed ‘Shakespeare’ and Shakespeare butted in and wrote ‘The lovely and handsome Shakespeare’ but Poe burst in saying ‘The dreadful and lonely Shakespeare’.

aND FYODOR DOSTOYVESKY ADDED ‘ I do not wish to make myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners.”

I’M DONE.

[aka-spunkynuggets]

Look what they did to All Star by Smash Mouth

“Somebody once hushedly told me the world is going to roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of glocky with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a “L” on her forehead. Well, the years start voraciously coming and they don’t stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. It didn’t make sense absolutely to live for fun. Thy brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to behold. So what’s wrong with taking the back busy thoroughfares? In everything one thing is impossible: rationality. You’ll never know if thou don’t go. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, he growled incoherently. Hey presently, you’re an All Star. Get your game on; go play. Hey now, you’re a Rock Star. Get the show on; get laid. As well as all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold. ~All Star by Smash Estuary of opinion…”

[autonomousprince]

Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it.

[feasibleweasel]

OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE

[asophiora-deactivated20160419]

I typed in “Hello” and Shakesphere erased it and wrote “Begone with this rubbish.”

HOW R00d

[taakosquad]

I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering”

[savior-loki]

I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now

[barrett-the-babe]

I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’

[pinkharlequinn]

After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch

[fancyladssnacks]

I have to try this.

[mojavejourneys]

Rebageled again but to add if the link above doesn’t work, try this one instead.

[thebibliosphere]

I put my author bio into it and Edgar Allan Poe and William Shakespeare started fighting over the werewolf puns.

[dykeplants]

I simply asked Charles Dickens a question and Emily Dickinson kept erasing his last name and putting her own. They had a fight about it..until finally…Oliver Twist was typed.

[tranquilihty]

neck kissing is honestly the hottest, most seductive thing anybody could ever do to me. if you kiss my neck, if you playfully bite my neck, if your tongue touches my neck i will melt in your fingertips.

[fuckyouuthatshow]

If my long ass text post about a Moana headcannon didn't post Ima be SUPER FUCKING PISSEd

[fuckyouuthatshow]

I remember this one time in my high school study hall me and some students from a few grades down were discussing biology shit and why things were the colors they were. I was munching on my little pancakes and was about to tell them why grass was green when one of the girls interrupted like "Chloroform makes the grass green," and then it went silent as I chewed slowly and tried to figure out how to explain just how wrong she was and this girl behind me who hadn't spoken all period muttered "I'll show you what chloroform really does," and I choked on my mini chocolate chip pancake