func_maid

call me maid - twenties - femme succubus dyke - makes a lot of weird shit, occasionally posts it

[ozempicofficial]

[haaarpb]

well.......... here we go

part 1

[teaboot]

There is a reality not so far from our own in which Ratitouille (2007) was filmed as an avant-garde conceptual horror akin to Eraserhead (1977)

[teaboot]

There is a young American man in France. His mother has passed away. He has few friends, and works the thankless job of a bus boy in a prestigious restaurant, but dreams of becoming a chef despite having very little skill.

He returns one night to his humble apartment, which is known to have vermin, and comes across a rat, which he could easily kill or set loose on the street.

But the rat- it is special. It seems to speak to him. Promises him every little thing he desires- talent, fame, and fortune. Recognition and esteem like he has only ever seen from afar; fine company like the wealthy men and women whose scraps he picks at over the sink.

Put me on your head, the rat says. Put me on your head and think of nothing.

It is strange at first, yes. Strange to feel another take control of his life and live it better than he ever could. To see miraculous things created with his own two hands, to feel his feet move in graceful and fantastic ways with a confidence he has never had.

But the rat delivers as he had promised: he receives promotions, notoriety, admiration. He is noticed. Envied. Every day is a waking dream, rubbing elbows with beautiful women and handsome men and influential personalities who lavish him with praise. It is addictive, this lifestyle- never mind that he is only ever truly conscious of it as a passenger of in own brain.

It is when he has reached heights few can ever conceive, with all that the rat had ever promised- a beautiful wife in a beautiful house with all the world in his palm, in possession of all the wealth and success a man could ever want, that the rat says that it is leaving.

Leaving? The rat cannot leave. Everything he is, the rat has provided.

"I have delivered on our bargain", the rat says. "I have brought to you all that you have ever dreamed. What more could you desire? I must live my own life, now."

The man is furious. He is terrified. He destroys the rat, in all of the ways that a rat can be destroyed, until nothing is left of it but a fine smear of marinara sauce.

He returns to the restaurant the next day moving like the shell of something hollowed-out and brittle. He cooks well- his fingers remember the movements, his eyes recognize the patterns, his mouth knows without his asking what orders to speak and what platitudes make patrons smile pleasantly with their straight white teeth.

He retains the talents of the rat. The charm of the rat. All the worldly pleasures the rat had provided him.

Still, it seems, he is little more than a vessel for the talents of the rat.

But the rat is gone.

What remains of the man?

[teaboot]

You see my vision

[angelrivas]

@tankhall It´s mine 🤍

You can credit my IG if you want it, it's @angelrivash

[func-maid]

[ref]

[5bi5]

🚬 smokingajay follow

Omg the new album... Jay McCarrol just come to my house and kill me it would be easier

🚬 smokingajay

Guys STOP circulating this in light of what happened! What if he sees it and kills me for real

#jay if you are reading this it was a JOKE #i still love the album though

5007 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

🐇 endlessrabbithole follow

Me getting ready to join the tumblr serial killer fandom now after thinking they're awful and creepy forever

#jay mccarrol #to be clear i still don't support people idolizing like. ted bundy or whatever

82 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

🍁 imabeleafer follow

This has been a fucking WILD day in Toronto. For anyone who doesn't know, one of Jay McCarrol's band members was shot and McCarrol himself is the main suspect (and no one knows where he is), an unidentified man climbed to the top of the CN tower and then jumped off (not a suicide attempt, he actually had a parachute!), and a man was electrocuted on the same street where the police were chasing McCarrol down (they didn't catch him), all today.

⚜️ viveleshabs follow

Damn, the only crazier thing that could happen in Toronto is if the Leafs were actually a good team.

76 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

💬 kdlanguage follow

Watching the "Jay McCarrol has been dropping us hints that he's secretly gay via his lyrics" crowd change their tune to "Jay McCarrol has been dropping us hints that he's going to kill someone via his lyrics" is absolutely sending me right now. This is truly the funniest timeline.

239 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

📻 radio-of-the-spirit follow

Visit Original Link

🌊 surfsup follow

💔

#i'm just in total shock right now #how could the man who saved my life have ended another's?

548 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

🐦 torontojayblues follow

Okay guys I know we're all going kind of crazy right now responding to this and I'm feeling a lot of emotions about it myself but I do think maybe we could tone it down with all the jokes and memes? I know he probably won't see them anyways but I just feel like we should respect Jay and his privacy and not turn this into a total circus, it's gotta be really awful for him as it is. Speaking for myself I know Jay got me through some really tough times and now it's our turn to support him and not turn his pain into a joke.

☀️ thebeacheslonermp3 follow

HIS privacy? Not the privacy and pain of the family of the guy he fucking KILLED in cold blood? God... Jay McCarrol fans have always been annoying but this is actually fucking ghoulish. He's not a baby bird that needs your protection, he is a murderer who deserves to go to prison.

🐦 torontojayblues

See, this is exactly the kind of persecution he's already facing. We don't know any of the details of what happened. What he deserves is the right to a fair trial, and what's "ghoulish" is people totally dehumanizing him and thinking they know everything about a situation we barely have any info about.

#i sincerely think in ten years we're all going to look back on this and regret our actions

201 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

💀 softskeleton follow

My Disney princess 💖

🎸 women-i-trust follow

Your Disney princess just killed someone

💀 softskeleton

If you were to tell 14-year-old me who made these gifs that a decade later Jay McCarrol would shoot someone and the way I would find out is by someone dredging up this very post. Well. Jay if you're out there do me a favour and fucking kill me next.

#i haven't really listened to his music or cared about him in years but #what the fuck

363 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

💎 blue-stoner follow

This is literally going to ruin the tour

#jay mccarrol

430 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

🌈 gay-mccarrol-truther follow

We should have seen this coming he was literally trying to warn us

12 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

🥁 bigdrummerboy follow

If anyone in the GTA is disappointed about not being able to see Jay McCarrol now that he's on the lam or whatever, DM me! I have a cover band, we are basically just as good as him and we don't overcharge for shows like he does.

#plus we're not murderers lol

2 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

🎹 jay-mccarrol-daily follow

Hey everyone,

So, I think I'm going to be stepping back and taking a break from this account for a bit. I really don't know what to do or how to feel right now. I know a lot of you are probably in the same boat, and I just want to say how much I love this fandom and how much joy it's brought me being able to connect with people on here over the years and see how much creativity and passion everyone has in this space. Even though I'm definitely feeling a lot of negative things right now (confusion, betrayal, anger) the one thing I'm trying to bear in mind is that while Jay McCarrol is someone who I don't know, have never known, will never know, there are people on here who I do know because of our shared love of music and it's those people and that love that really matters.

I'm going to take some time to clear my head while we see what happens with this whole situation, but I do want to come back to this account eventually and maybe do something different with it. If anyone has recommendations or requests for other artists that they'd want to see photos/gifs/updates of, let me know!

🟨 nonamebrand follow

This is so well said! Love you and can't wait for your blog to come back in whatever form that takes 💛

#btw as far as recs go you should check out fionn!

2906 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

☀️ stealmysunshine follow

Who put this on Jay McCarrol's Wikipedia page I just wanna talk

6 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

🍺 kungfubar follow

Would it be fucked up if I posted the next chapter of my vampire!Jay fic? I've been working really hard on it but it feels a little weird posting something where he's grappling with bloodlust now and I'm not sure anyone would want to read it at this point anyways.

🦇 batsabbath follow

There's literally never been a better time to post it tbh

⭐️ girlgolden follow

This is exactly why everyone hates RPF writers

17 notes ⬆️ 💬 🔂 🤍

[qi-mera]

More of you need to learn about these ☝️

[jadenebula]

[spookedstarzz]

one thing i love about Raw (2016) is how it presents hunger. in the movie justine shows strong hunger through both her desire for food (the cannibalism) and through her desire for sex, and these are the things that women are most penalised for by society and which are seen as taboo or unnatural for us to want. the impression that these things are unnatural is heightened by the way they present themselves in her; she’s not just hungry for food but for human flesh, she doesn’t want to sleep with anyone but wants to sleep with her roommate who’s a gay man. it also really interestingly explores situations where women are expected to want these things and the juxtaposition between when justine engages with them because she is expected to and when she engages with them because she herself desires to. for example, at the very beginning when she is expected to eat raw meat as part of an initiation ceremony, she is rewarded for it with acceptance from the other vet students (and, by extension, society.) when she starts eating raw meat off her own volition, that is when the film begins to portray her as animalistic which reflects the idea that women who hunger are themselves animalistic.

[spilledkaleidoscope]

You were the coolest.

[targetedknowledge]

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[stuckpiig]

for the 3 raw fans ... i suppose

[bonesbeetle]

compilation of my all-time favorite tweets

[kingcatnine]

horror novel: he sniled, but it wasn't sneetly. it wasn't sneetly at all.

[caffeinatedspitegod]

OP wtf does this mean?

[kingcatnine]

what's not clicking

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[dancinbutterfly]

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

[milksockets]

fetish images: marquis competition 1995 - marquis magazine

[jellogram]

I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.