func_maid

call me maid - twenties - femme succubus dyke - makes a lot of weird shit, occasionally posts it

[mrspacino]

Playgirl Advisor, 1977

[hymneminium]

Not that there's anything wrong with having something wrong with you

[probablyautistic-definitleygay]

[lilyblisslys]

the main trick to dancing at a goth club is:

1. Imagine you’re a powerful wizard

2. Imagine you’re channeling mana for one of your strongest spells

[lilyblisslys]

3. you can also pretend you’re a deep sea predator pretending to be aquatic plant life drifting in the currents to attract prey

[nudityandnerdery]

Kids today need to learn how to pull the evil taffy.

[madfishmonger]

4. Brush away the spiderwebs in the vast and mysterious crypt you're exploring

[bintro]

[collapsedsquid]

[collapsedsquid]

[courtesycalling]

[hymneminium]

#oh my god did gallagher just discover the term dank this is so exciting #does he know it's a weed thing?? there's no way right

Of course Peter Gallagher knows that "dank" is a weed thing. He also knows that "in heat" is a sex thing and that when aliens "probe" someone it's in the anus.

These are words, not things. Heathcliff is a comic about symbols.

You're never going to get a comic where an alien actually probes someone any more than you're going to get a comic where the Man-Eating Giant eats a man. You're just going to get a dozen comics where aliens like the word "probe".

Heathcliff wears the ham helmet because it's the helmet you wear when you eat a ham. You can tell it's that helmet because it says "ham" on it. The helmet's function is determined not by its form but by its label.

summer = beach = sand = desert = mummy and thus there is the Summer Mummy. Because of symbolic associations that do not otherwise cohere.

Robots don't wear clothes but the mere act of labeling them "nude" makes them nude. And once a painting is a nude painting there has to be a fig leaf because a "nude" without a "figleaf" is "indecent".

A "ham" is a ham even when it's a car. A yam can be a ham can be a car because "yam" sounds like "ham". Symbols have overtaken things.

[blemgoid]

"I know not with what weapons Overwatch 3 will be fought, but Overwatch 4 will be fought with sticks and stones." - Winston

[woman-becomer]

I shower like a real pervert. hot water, lathering myself in soap. sometimes I'm even naked

[fawnyanz]

anyone ready for big walk?

[nohoperadio]

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

[catcatcat6]

[bayesic-bitch]

it seems like in bdsm the "rewards" and the "punishments" look very similar. this concerns me a great deal, because it points to a system of misaligned incentives. if we're not careful, it's even possible that a rational actor could deliberately violate regulations, because the penalties for rule violations are in fact incentivized. one shudders to think of the consequences of such an arrangement

[butchlicker]

[sunbeast]

this is my favorite video evcer whats going on

[angelicguy]

girlfriend looks over my shoulder and sees that im on a twitter account named "The Toy That Plays Back" and my profile pic is a a jack in the box with angry eyebrows posting stuff like "How about we play with YOU for a change" and "Us Toys hate being played with"

[junderstruck]

batman developing an anti-beatboxing bomb collar to finally stop the joker once and for all