Gaubstopper

[teaboot]

Highly unlikely to be of use but I want a card I can carry in my wallet that says “If I Die First In A Traumatic Survival Scenario I Want You To Know I’m Okay With You Cannibalizing Me, It’s Fine, Don’t Be Weird And Guilty About it”. And then on the back there could be like. A list of recipes n shit

[teaboot]

To be clear, I don’t WANT to be cannibalized. It’s not my personal preference. It’s just that if I beef it out in the open somewhere and some poor starving fuck has to have a crisis of ethics over using the protein or dying in a hole, I’d want to some way to let them know my dead ass is rooting for them

[teaboot]

New Hot Take: I Think An Organ Donor Card Counts In A Pinch, Actually

[zoglin]

What you can’t see is me with the controller panicking and yelling

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Computer games are fantastic

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[wetwareproblem]

The best part about this: RDR2 horses are smart. If you don't steer them, they will never hit a tree.

[beemovieerotica]

?????? rich people are losing it

[beemovieerotica]

to be clear, yes i would also do some of this if i had the money. im experiencing blinding envy over the dr pepper mirror dimension.

[beardedmrbean]

[tomboytranny]

this reads like a 150year old tumblr post

[killrockstar]

i entirely do not give a fuck if men are getting their feelings hurt because one of them saw a lesbian or a woman with trauma say "i hate men" twice in one week or whatever. like are we for real serious. i'm going to say this in the nicest way possible : grow thicker skin & get over it.

[killrockstar]

this is so stuuupid like why am i even seeing this argument LMAO. "you cant hate half of the population" a little secret is that a majority of the time saying I hate men is actually this thing called a hyperbole, usually used in times of venting. pretty cool. the second thing is that men already hate the other half of the population and get away with it every single day since the beginning of time. and also try to kill us.

[peachdoxie]

I love talking with neurotypical people about my executive dysfunction because I'm like "yeah there's this invisible wall in my head that I'm incapable of getting past no matter what I do and it stops me from doing things" and they're like what the actual fuck

Meanwhile other neurodivergents are like

[imsodonewiththissite]

Seen it, you say?

[sovietnam]

[otterpuppss]

BEANS EPIC FAIL MOMENT

[otterpuppss]

you guys are so fkn funny

[your-dads-filing-cabinet]

[avatarherobrine]

Coward

[sapropel]

The difference between a fetish and a kink is that a fetish grows down from the ceiling but a kink grows up from the floor

[densewentz]

its actually the other way around fam! Easy mistake to make. The way I remember is that you'll get a kink in your neck from looking up.

[everythingfox]

Took a risk and it paid off

[patheticperipatetic]

This is the face of someone who knows this doesn't always work.

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[maculategiraffe]

[lasenbyphoenix]

[thetursithan]

The boss has arrived ...

[kratt09]

people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

[kratt09]

thats not the word I meant to use

[coldspicyy]

None of these words are in the bible.

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

au contraire, mon ami

[transarsonist]

dont weird pussy, that's woke stale. penis absolute.

[saintjosie]

i’m sorry cock is in the bible?

[freeformtarsier]

Matthew 26:34 KJV

Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.

[saintjosie]

huh i didn’t know edging was in the bible either

[virtualgirladvance]

Of course it is, they've been waiting over two thousand years for the second coming

[synder-sync]

[official-lucifers-child]

mr sandman was playing in this gas station and the cashier and i both sang “man me a sand” at the same fucking time without hesitation

[hte-spagheti]

[summerchat]

My boyfriend and I regularly recite this one to each other

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[spookyyarn]

[kushblazer666]

[hamletthedane]