JUSTIN, READING A QUESTION: I was getting my Munch Squad on at McDonaldâs breakfast after work. When I sat down for my feast, a guy walked in the door, looked at me, and said, âIdiot canât even make his own pancakes. How pathetic.â
GRIFFIN, SERIOUS: Donât laugh at that!Â
GRIFFIN: I mean, itâs - itâs a -
JUSTIN, STILL LAUGHING: Let me finish!
GRIFFIN: Itâs a power play.
JUSTIN TRIES TO SPEAK BUT HEâS INCOHERENT.
JUSTIN, THROUGH HYSTERICS: He saw someone just eating breakfast at McDonaldâs, and then - he sat down to eat, a guy walked in the door, looked at them, and said âidiot canât make his own pancakes, how patheticâ and then WALKED BACK OUT! What is -?! What?!
SOMEBODY CLAPPING, TRAVIS AND GRIFFIN CRACKING UP IN THE BACKGROUND
JUSTIN, STILL THROUGH LAUGHTER: What is this - what is this fucking mysterious assassin? Um. âI tried to enjoy my meal, but all I could taste were dejection and tears. How can I track this guy down, explain how restaurants work, and project the image of a man who definitely understands the process of making pancakes to every stranger I encounter?â And thatâs from Hobbs.Â
JUSTIN DEVOLVES INTO MORE WORDLESS LAUGHTER
GRIFFIN: Hereâs the thing. This thing this person did was⊠wrong, but also I think very funny maybe also?
JUSTIN TRIES TO INTERJECT.
GRIFFIN: Because, I mean, the alternative is that you walk into a Pizza Hut and youâre like, âAll these fucking idiots donât know how to make their own pizza. Bye!â
JUSTIN, LAUGHING: Itâs very funny!
JUSTIN: I think a nicer - thereâs a nicer way of doing this. Hereâs the nicer, amazing way of doing this: walk into McDonaldâs, see someone eating a stack of pancakes, hand them a recipe for pancakes, and then walk out the door.
GRIFFIN: Now doing - thatâs a sweet way of doing - youâre right Justin, this is the MBMBaM way of doing this.Â
JUSTIN: Thatâs the nice way to do it.
GRIFFIN: You walk in and you hand them a recipe for pancakes, and you say -
GRIFFIN: - And you say, âFor next timeâ.Â
JUSTIN:Â âFor next time, try this! Go for it.â
GRIFFIN:Â âAnd itâs fun!â
JUSTIN:Â âHey, itâs fun.â
JUSTIN: âAnd if you do it wrong, theyâre crepes.â
GRIFFIN:Â âItâs fine.â
TRAVIS: I wanna be in the head of the person whoâs walking by McDonaldâs, sees someone eating a stack of flapjacks, and is like, âI gotta go in there and say somethingâ.Â
JUSTIN: âI gotta get âem. I gotta get âem.â
GRIFFIN: Fucking double parts.
TRAVIS: Just both of them, a lot of McDonaldâs, rolls out -
JUSTIN, LOWERING HIS VOICE:Â âHey, Victoria, just go around the block. Iâm just gonna be a sec.â
TRAVIS: No, you donât understand, you donât get it, you donât get it - Iâm not getting anything in there.
JUSTIN: I think they went in wanting to buy something, and then they just had a -
JUSTIN: âThey have pancakes here?! You can do this at home!â Listen, I know we try to keep it nice on this show, we try not to be mean⊠this is maybe the funniest thing Iâve ever heard.Â
JUSTIN STARTS LAUGHING AGAIN
GRIFFIN: Itâs the best.
JUSTIN: Iâm trying so hard not to be entertained by this.Â
GRIFFIN: Itâs not funny that you got bullied, and itâs not funny that this personâs an ass - whatâs funny is the idea of walking into a restaurant, just already pre-angry that people here are eating things that they can just as easily make at home.Â
TRAVIS AND JUSTIN LAUGHING
TRAVIS, HIGH PITCHED: Itâs just so good!
JUSTIN: Itâs so good, though! [THROUGH TEARS] Oh, man.Â
GRIFFIN: Do they walk into auto-body shops like âchange your own oil! Idiots!â
TRAVIS:Â âIdiot doesnât even know how to do a triple bypass!â
JUSTIN: Wow. Itâs just very mean, but very funny.
TRAVIS: I mean, itâs real-life trolling. Thatâs exactly what it is.Â
GRIFFIN: Well, then Iâm not - and now youâve ruined it. Now Iâm not for it anymore.
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