In a series of completely unrelated coincidences, the same family moves into a haunted house, attracts the attention of a local poltergeist, purchases an evil ventriloquist dummy, activates a witch’s curse, and adopts the newborn antichrist, all in the same week.
the parents are so distracted by the major life changes of moving to a new town & caring for a baby that they completely fail to notice.
supernatural occurrences mostly get blamed on the fact they are living in an old house they bought as a fixer upper:
of course it’s full of strange drafts and weird noises–the insulation is a mess and there’s a family of racoons in the attic
no shit the lights are flickering, the previous owners tried to do the electrical wiring themselves and now the whole place is a fire hazard
yes the ventriloquist dummy keeps appearing in strange places, Little Suzie is always leaving her toys lying around, at least this is less dangerous than the roller skates on the stairs.
and ok sure it’s a bit weird that household objects are levitating, but this town is built on a huge fault line and the realtor warned us about microearthquakes
meanwhile, the supernatural entities are all at war with their unwanted spooky roommates. at some point they get so busy terrorizing each other they forget to haunt the humans
and the antichrist has an attentive, loving, and caring older sister to keep them happy and entertained
and (as previously discussed!) parents who are chill and treat the ensuing demonic events as normal childhood behavioral problems. they get the antichrist a child therapist
WHY does Tumblr always come up with the best concepts
Please tell me this family also adopts a cat at some point, please! Like the poor poltergeist is trying to haunt the family but everything that gets knocked over or thrown around is blamed on the cat
The cat has destructive tendancies and after awhile the poltergeist is too discouraged to even bother breaking anything, bc sooner or later the cat will get around to it anyway
Occasional messages daubed on the wall or mirror in what looks like blood are written off as the child/ren being mischievous with paints. Plus, now it’s a motivator to repaint that wall that was looking hideous anyway.
tags by @antacidsnake: #this is better if every time the ghosts do something the kids and cat come along and add to it till the ghost thing can’t be seen #message that says Get Out gets splattered with ketchup #freakish poltergeist tower of furniture knocked down by cat running full sprint #dummy tries to be in odd threatening places and the kids come tearing into the room, snatches it by the arm, and slams it into the doorframe HARD
